Are black students still color struck?
Remember the Black White doll test in my previous posts? Well a friend of mine, knowing my fetish for race issues sent me an email on a similar, also controversial study, which was conducted on Black college students. The main focus was on skin tones… light skin or dark skin?
Apparently, this study, conducted by researchers from two Louisiana schools, has confirmed that complexion does matter. Going by history, light skin has been highly valued in the Black community. This is probably because in the early years of the 20th century almost all students at the some of the nation's prestigious historically Black colleges and universities were light-skinned.
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100 Black students between 18 and 19 years old of different color complexions (ranging from light to dark) were interviewed at a predominantly White university in the Midwest. The results? Well you guessed right.In comparison to the Black White doll test where kids picked the white doll as the beautiful one, 96% of the men preferred a medium to light complexion women and 70% of the women picked light-skinned men.
This clearly shows that most African-American college students still seem to find the light-skinned sistas and brothas better looking than their darker counterparts where dating or marriage is concerned.
One of the interviewed students said “I think that people are valued for their light skin. You can take this theory way back to the house slave mentality. I think a lot of people, because that was valued, were taught to value light skin. I think it is still an ongoing type of thing, and society really has not lost that altogether.᾿
Notice the choice of the word … VALUED? So does this mean that the darker skinned individuals are seen as lesser beings or of lesser value? Generally, the students involved in the study felt that the media is to blame for this preference for lighter skin. “When you talk to a guy, he thinks that he wants a perfect girl he sees on the videos. Usually, the women portrayed in the videos are light-skinned and have long hair,᾿ said another participant.
Jas M. Sullivan, an assistant professor of political science and African American Studies at Louisiana State University, also involved in conducting the study said that the purpose of the research was to test whether the color line continues to be a problem for the African-American community.
“We know that there has been a preference for lighter skin in the past as a result of racism, but we really wanted to know whether or not that preference still exists in the 21st century.᾿
Do you believe that the 100 students’ views represent most people’s preferences? And if so, why do Blacks generally tend to prefer lighter skin? Isn’t this ironic given the constant chants of ‘black is beauty’ and ‘color blind society’? And how then are we going to curb this segregation if we Black people apply the age old color conscious concept when choosing spouses within the black mainstream?
Tags: shades of black, color preference
75 responses to "Are black students still color struck?"
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ncgirl says:Posted: 24 Jul 10
This topic is really ironic to me because I came from a family who had the 'color struck' mentality. Although, by the time it reached into my generation, it was dying a slow death...but it affected my grandmother to the extent of her sharing her experiences with us. In turn, I wrote a book based on her experiences of being the "despised, dark-skinned daughter-in-law". Although many of her "adversaries" are passed on now, I was surprised to see the awareness and "healing" affects the book had, not only on the family, but outsiders as well. I'm hoping that this book will be an inspiration not only to African Americans, but Americans in general...to understand that "a person's worth lies within and shouldn't be judged by the color of their skin." For all interested, the title of the book is Color Struck by Pamela & Joel Tuck. You can read a 1st chapter excerpt at www.pamelamtuck.com. Hoping to inspire change...
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cocoa777 says:Posted: 17 May 10Wow what a controversial topic! Sad that it holds much merit. Self hatred is a terrible thing. This concept is so tired it needs to end. It’s so 1942. After all, it all about angles things like race, skin tone, gender and religion. We are all competing for limited resources. Why would anyone’s skin tone or race even bother someone else? There is always I repeat always an underlying motive always maybe a guy a girl a job notoriety. So always look for the angle. Anyhow, as a chocolate girl I can relate. I look like my mom but I have my dad’s skin tone. My mom (love mom she ‘s so funny) is butter pecan tan lol I always laughed when she and other people said that. Growing up I was constantly told I was a very pretty dark skinned girl by my mom’s side of the family (dad ‘s too but sometimes I think my mom’s grammie stared at me too long she really examined my features they originated in GA and moved to FL). In retrospect I think wow, why couldn’t I just be a very pretty girl? Thank you for your persecptive Calif.peach Thank you darkandproud for sharing your story Leah I’m confused? Darklicious thank you also for your story and insight. Weird I just argued this point with a UK chic who said “ I look Brazilian” (wow broad term) and then stated she “knew her roots”. Which was not Brazilian as a matter of fact. Omg, Anthropology 101 So whatever. I look for the angle. The point is P.S. it’s not just the U.S. At the end of the day I have a biracial president who at the end of the day who by American standards is judged at black with an *. On a lighter note who wants to make some more red boned and yellow boned babies with me? I mean duh where did you think they came from :P (especially back in the day don’t front).
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wendelswerk says:Posted: 16 May 10
I am highly suspicious of these kind of case studies and subsequent time wasted on figuring out what this all mean. These studies that ask skin color preferences have proved flawed especially when younger kids are used. Also, light and dark skin color preferences are time sensitive. In the 1960's dark skin color was preferred and light skin blacks complained that they were being discriminated in black communities. Now there is new evidence to suggest that skin color preferences are individualistic and has little to do with community preferences in America.
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BLACKCHICK4LIFE says:Posted: 10 Apr 10
This issue is pervasive and it isn't going anywhere anytime soon. I wish that we as black women could realize our power. Ever black man in this country came from a black mama. People just won't be happy until my race disappears. All I can hope is that neither of my sons rejects me or our heritage by refusing to date their own race. I hope I have instilled @ least that much self respect and pride in them.
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Jasmine says:Posted: 14 Mar 10
Like tupac said the blacker the berry the sweeter the juice, darker the flesh the deeper the roots. my black is beautiful. all black is beautiful whether light or dark.
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Wonka says:Posted: 26 Feb 10
This has been an on going topic for how many years!?,people in this case many black people have a complex.They feel that light skin and good hair are the essence of beauty,and the light eyes are a plus,you know how many black woman who are(not just dark-skinned but chocolate dark skinned)I've seen that are ABSOLUTELY Knockouts!!,OMG I've lost count. How does the saying go!?Those who have it,don't want it,and those who don't have it wish they did.Now this OBVIOUSLY isn't in all cases,but,in my opinion too many.You know how many people wish they had dark skin(they probabaly won't tell you)but,who wouldn't want to have beautiful,sexy dark skin rather then pale,cold,greenish/yellowish looking skin.Just take a look at the photo above(Cocoacutie) Yeah I know!!.
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Cocoacutie says:Posted: 20 Dec 09I wrote a very interesting article about this topic. http://intermultiracialissues.suite101.com/article.cfm/what_michelle_obama_means_to_beauty_in_america
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AP says:Posted: 28 Aug 09
. Since mention was made of the topic of the ‘house' and the ‘field’ slave — I just wanted to note that this false concept that so many people have -- that the lighter-complexioned chattel slaves “had it easier” or “thought they were better” than the darker-complexioned slaves -– and / or largely “relaxed in the big house” while the darker-complexioned slaves “suffered in the fields” — is very much (just like the infamous ‘Willie Lynch Letter’ Hoax) all VERY MUCH AN URBAN MYTH (and, is one which, in nearly every way that’s possible, completely defies the true historical recorded account). The historical record shows that those enslaved people who were of a lighter-complexion (i.e. mulatto-lineage) and that were found on the continental United States during the antebellum (chattel-slavery) era were actually treated MUCH WORSE than were those enslaved people who were of a darker-complexion. In fact, the record shows that most of the White people (especially the White women) tended to look upon the lighter-complexioned slaves as being mere ‘mongrels of miscegenation’ (resulting largely from the rapes caused by the plantation 'Overseers'); in their disgust at the sight of these slaves — insisted that they be “banished to the fields”; and also then purposefully reserved most of the ‘big house’ positions (ex. mammy, cook, driver, etc.) for the darker-complexioned slaves -- who most of the White people had perceived as being “more loyal, more docile, less competitive, etc.”, and, even more important, they were also of a skin tone which could never cause them to be seen as being any part-'white' (and even worse, perceived as "possibly" also being "a member of the family" --as it were-- of a given plantation 'Owner’). And this maltreatment was generally even much more so the case if the lighter-complexioned enslaved person was even remotely ’suspected’ (by, say, a wife, sister or daughter — who ran “the big house”, while a ‘male’ family member ran “the plantation”)of possibly being the offspring of a given plantation 'Owner' (or his son, or father, or brother, or any other male found in the plantation 'Owners' White family). In addition, the few lighter-complexioned enslaved people that were actually permitted to do any work in the "big house" were (as a punishment for having the lowly status of “mongrel” and in order to make sure that they did not become “too uppity”) kept under a much more severe work supervision (by both the White women who ran the plantation household and also by the darker-complexioned enslaved people who had been placed over the lighter-complexioned enslaved people and given various "rewards" in an exchange for the promise to 'keep an eye on' them) than were most of the (more trusted and seemingly endeared) darker-complexioned enslaved people. Books by Deborah Gray White; Paula Giddings; bell hooks; J. California Cooper; William Wells Brown; etc. expose the truth about the urban-myth and show that the lighter-complexioned enslaved people received NO special treatment and were, instead (due to being seen as mere “mongrels of miscegenation”) usually treated much worse than were most darker-complexioned enslaved people. The hatred, fear and mistrust that many of the antebellum and post-antebellum era White southerners felt toward the people who were both of a light-complexion (mulatto-lineage) and were also chattel-slaves, is very strongly presented in the 'D.W. Griffith' racist film 'Birth of a Nation'-- where pretty much all the trouble, tragedy and dangers found experienced by White southern families in the film is falsely presented as being caused by "uppity" Mulattoes who 'needed to be taught "their place" among White people'. (i.e. they "needed" to be beaten, raped, lynched, etc. by the "proud" White people who had been reared to make it clear that they felt "no connection" to any non-White person). Anyone who would like any additional information on this topic can feel free to contact me directly. Hope this information is helpful & that everyone has a great day. – AP (soaptalk@hotmail.com) Related Links: http://boards.mulatto.org/post/show_single_post?pid=34070161&postcount;=13 http://boards.mulatto.org/post/show_single_post?pid=34070414&postcount;=14 .
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nika23 says:Posted: 13 Jun 12
I have never heard this version before, but it's very interesting. History has been so warped it's hard to know anything. I have heard about the mistreatment of mixed slaves by the female slave masters. I read that slavery in the US was much worse than in the Caribbean (Spanish countries especially). Mixed race people were treated better in Spanish countries and were able to mix in the white population since there weren't that many white women around, but in the US the white women hated the fact that their husbands cheated (they didn't care that the women being raped) and gave the mixed race people extra hell. Some people say slavery under the British was worse than slavery under the Spanish, but when it was analyzed, it was worse where there was white women because they fought intergration, thus maintaining segregation and the harsh treatmet of slaves. In Spanish countries people are more mixed than in the US where there are clear cut racial lines. You can still see the effects where mixed race people in Spanish countries consider themselves white and mixed race people in the US consider themselves black (black/ white mix). Halle Berry said her daughter was black and people were outraged, but just a few decades ago her daughter would have been legally considered black. The one drop rule came out of the fear of mixed race children being able to beneift financially and white women were against it because they only wanted their children to benefit. It's funny how things work sometimes. Years ago white women refused to accept mixed race children as anything but black and thus the one drop rule came into place, but now that white women are having mixed children with black men, they campaigned to get mixed race status on the US census because they didn't want their kids being called black. This country is so confused I just want to scream "make up your minds people." I guess it's what benefits and affects them personally that create these changes. Too bad treating others like the humans we all are was not the catalyst to end slavery, but to stop the south from benefitting from free labor that the north couldn't benefit from.
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Resee says:Posted: 25 Feb 09
It's sad that this "house nigga" mentality is still ingrained in the minds of many African-Americans today. Why does it matter what your pigmentation is? I'll repeat the best answer that has been given: The Media. For many of us all around the world, THE MEDIA dictates what is hot and what is not, and since the dawn of slavery up until now, it is considered "substandard" to be black. Unfortunately, even though many try to claim that this is not true, it's deeply intrenched in the minds of many. What can we do about it? That's a deep question, and it would require re-vamping society as a whole, including the educational system and social castes based on color. Can it be done? Not likely. So, it looks like we on an individual basis have to give our children unconditional love, tell them that they can be anything or be with anyone they want to be with, no matter what color, and try to reach out to as many young ones (black, white, asian, etc) and fill them with universal love before any of these racial stereotypes set in their young minds. This, short of a miracle,is just about the only thing we can do. Oh, and one other thing: we can teach ourselves to love OURSELVES unconditionally, no matter how we were raised to feel about being BLACK or BROWN or LIGHT-SKINNED - we are all uniquely beautiful. Oh, and by the way - I have always thought the most beautiful skin in the world is the dark, mahogany/chocolatey skin. I, a golden-brown woman, tried to tan myself to a beautiful chocolate color one summer. How did I end up? Well, let's just say that lovely golden-brown can turn a pretty hideous brick-red when exposed to the sun for 3 days straight! ALL black is beautiful, from the lightest-honey to ebony dark-chocolate, and until we realize that as a people, no one else will.
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lala2qz says:Posted: 19 Jan 09
SERIOUSLY??? where have I been ? Girls in places I've been love dark skin. They think its sexy, honestly. I know I very well do. And to girls with lighter skin, I can tell you that the contrast between it and that of someone like Taye Diggs is just beautiful. Only black girls I've seen really discriminate against guys with dark skin, had pretty dark skin themselves and were only a little lighter than the guy in the first place. I find it odd, that the majority of black girls chose the lightest, wouldve expected them to go for the brown or dark one, because girls I know, majority would pick those. Anyway, I agree with sassfem completely, her assessment is very much on Black is beautiful, all shades are beautiful, all ethnicities PERIOD are beautiful. Hopefully, one day people will love to appreciate the diversity of ALL the people of this world. I have a special appreciation for dark skinned black women like Gabrielle Union because she and her skin are both so beautiful. I think everyone should learn to love having their own skin and know that noone else's is better or worse, but just as beautiful. I find it very sad if a dark black girl holds my hand to hers and says how she would like mine, when personally I think her's is so pretty and don't see why she would prefer mine.
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Pia65 says:Posted: 20 Sep 08
I agree with your assessments Coco and Fala! Over the pass few years I've been invited to 3 different churches. In each case the pastor was a dark skinned man and every wife was fair skinned! I think it doesn't matter what shade of the rainbow we are....we should feel good in our own skin. True 'beauty' is in the eye of the beholder!
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vt33 says:Posted: 19 Sep 08Totally, you got some growing in the mind to do, let me plant the seed for you. There is so much more in life for you to see, experience than you worrying about your dark skin being the bottom of the food chain. Young people tend to follow the crowd, and it usually transfers into adulthood. Look at it like this, if you saw a pair of Lucky Jeans on the rack, and you thought they were the coolest jeans ever, but your best friend is with you, and she thinks they are the ugliest thing ever created and adds that "no one will ever wear those jeans". You go to school the next day, no one who's "popular" wears them, only a few, and people whisper and laugh. That falls back on "beauty is in the eye of the beholder". T keep in mind, in the society we are in, visual sets the tone (unfortunately), look at this Taye Diggs, Edris Elba, Denzel Washington, are billed sexy men, all of them are dark skinned and a lot of female fantasy black and white. Samuel L Jackson, not quite billed sexy but a awesome actor, but I can't find a soul who wants to have him on their pc screensaver. There hasn't been many dark skinned women in media who has that sort of, goddess quality. Latina actress and supermodels, have their place, mixed race actresses, and models have their place, light skinned actresses and supermodels have their place. Notice not so much dark skinned, Ester Rolle (RIP) exceptional actress, dark skinned, split tooth, she didn't quite fit the Hollywood Bill as beautiful, but within the black cinema she was found beautiful, same can be said for Cicely Tyson, dark skinned, protruding lips, she played a lot of roles, that held strong ties, to the black race of the 1900's. Never quite made the bill as sexy but she had her following in the black cinema. Alek a true african model, dark, sensual, not quite Kimora Lee, or Lidya, but again she has her following. Grace Jones, was the closets to sexy dark skinned, and desireable women in the black culture of today. I don't know about you T, but last I checked Missy Elliot, dark skinned, big teeth, talented from the tips of her toes, to the top of her head, wealthy. Seems to me, she didn't let dark skin keep her from living and worrying about who finds her attractive, looks to me she found her self attractive and has made a fabulous career from it. (hint) Dark skinned does not mean unattactive, dark skinned means, deep beauty. Thats a quality a lot of people would kill to have but can't posses so they must rely on the outer beauty to get them noticed. Don't second guess yourself, because a few people, a small amount in our vast society, does not find you attractive. That's their foolishness, if they can't see, who you are. Besides, you're gonna see a lot more than that in the world once, you step out into it, love the skin you're in, don't worry, someone else will love it as well. I'm gonna let you slide with that "pretty baby" comment, you bloggin with grown folks now, and all babies are "pretty" no matter which color they come from. T, Black is still Beautiful! Over did it again! No Jibberish Replys just a thought! Over and Out!
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Member says:Posted: 18 Sep 08
im not in college im actually in highschool but unfortunatly it is the same if not worse,where i am not that guys are like totally disgusted with dark skinned girls im pretty popular and have a lot of guy and girl FRIENDS(though i do hang out with more white than black people) that's the problem. while i tend to like white guys (not because i want a "pretty baby") but because i just do,i can't really explain it. it's not to say i don't like any other races becuase i do,i like all types of guys. but anyway, while i like white guys most of my friends: white guys and girls say they wouldnt even date a black person or if they would,she would have to be light skinned so they don't even consider dark skinned girls like me an option. yet when i ask my black friends almost all of them said they would date another race,and that it doesnt really matter but that even THEY,(some of them) wouldn't date a dark skinned girl sadly,this tends to be way more about girls because i know plenty of white and black girls who go out or would go out with,or think that a dark skinned guy is perfectly acceptable to be with. so what i can't figure out is:why doesn't the same go for girls like me? i;m pretty,outgoing and friendly but when it comes to stuff like that i get very sad, because i feel like my skin color is holding me back, i shouldnt feel that way,but i do :( im not the only one either,when i talk to other girls as dark as me they mostly have the same problem. i don't think it's fair,or right. why does dark skin have to mean unatrative? and why doesnt the same apply to light skinned girls? i've seen light skinned girls who get away with a lot of crap becuase of there color and hair and also a lot of them who arent even pretty and yet are very popular and treated specially by guys just becuse of there skin color,to many times. you know how i know they are treated that way only based on color? because they have bitchy personality's not all,not even most,but some are like that.
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mahogany2007 says:Posted: 13 Sep 08I am a black woman with dark skin and have never had any problems being desired by men of all races. I wish I were darker because dark skin is so hot. I'm beautiful, sexy beyond belief, confident and revel in the darkness of my skin. I can have my pick of men and my skin color has never been an issue. My preference is black men with very dark skin. I have never dated a black man with light skin. They just don't move me the way dark chocolate rich skin does. When I'm with a black man with dark skin we are the most awesome, powerfu, hottest couple. We rock and get so much attention. One last note, it depends upon the sample surveyed, what the data reveals. Dark skin is beautiful, powerful, sexy.
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Keke24 says:Posted: 24 Aug 08I am a proud dark skin woman. I think it is sad that in our society today African Americans still think light skin is better and darker skin people are not. At the end of the day we are black and their is way too many issues concerning the world today to worry about who has less or more melanin in the skin. This topic is embeeded in alot of minds from family and friend influence and could only get resolved if people talk and listen to every one story. in certain areas Lightskin people might be viewed as weaker, and easy to run over and other places darker skin blacks are viewed as uncivilized, and hard to deal with. What we forget about eachother is that we are all black and are going through the same political issues. We are all jumpin the same hurdles in life yet we still try to break each other down. Unfortunatley the color issue would not change in the black community that is another bad trait that will continue.
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Kay says:Posted: 12 Aug 08
I think black people are still color struck in the 21st century. BET (the main network)makes me sick to my stomach with the negative images of black women they put on television. I had to tuned out Hip hop too, because of the degrading and color bias videos they have of black women. Now I know all women light and dark skin are disrespected, but it always bothers me that dark skin women are always placed in the background, reduced to just an ass or breast shot, or always playing the role of a ho or stripper. I was born in the Caribbean and we have our share of colorism too, but I find that African American men takes it to a level where they make me sick because of the way they openly treat or mistreat women based on skin tone.
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nika23 says:Posted: 13 Jun 12
Being "colorstruck" is a new term for me, and so is the experience. I'm from the Caribbean and while some people may prefer lighter skin and/or mixed people, dark skinned black women aren't treated poorly. I lived in a Caribbean neighrborhood after emmigrating to the US so I wasn't aware of the depth of this until adulthood. I was shocked to realize how dark skinned women were treated. I know many black women of all skin tones whom find dark skinned black men attractive, but it's hard to find black men that find dark skinned black women attractive. I was shocked that so many women in the study wanted light skinned men, but recently I have been hearing women say they want light skin men in case they have a daughter so she doesn't have to go through what they went through as a dark skinned woman. I think a lot of the younger women have had so much mistreatment and it's so bad there's even a documentary called Dark Skinned Girls. It was so sad to hear of their experiences by other blacks. I didn't realize how bad it was for dark skinned women. I'm kind of in the middle when it comes to complexion and I also had negative comments about not being light skinned and every guy who said things like that were much darker than me. I often notice that dark skinned men usually like light skinned women and light skinned men usually like dark skinned women (opposites like the skinny guy with the big girl). Maybe the women like the light skinned men because they don't have to hear how unattractive their skin color is. I definitely agree that it's psychologiical and that the WIllie Lynch syndrome perpetuates. I know so many black people in the Caribbean and in the US that have at least one grandparent that is not black, and in my opinion, blacks especially in the Americas and the Caribbean ARE mixed raced people. We are mixed predominantly with African, European and Native American due to the slave trade. Some whites say the US has not had a black president because Pres. Obama is half white. Calling some black people biracial and others black due to skin color is stupid. Pres. Obama's father is from Kenya so he is just as much African American because most African Americans are so mixed it's not even funny. Lenny Kravitz and Lisa Bonet are both half white and half black, but they look very different. Their daughter Zoe Kravitz looks like the definition of a "light skinned black person". Is she black or biracial? Technically she's biracial, but is considered black because she doesn't have a white parent and there are many black people like that. What makes Zoe Kravitz black and Pres. Obama biracial? I believe in embracing all cultures that contributed to create me, but defining people by race, especially black people is complicated, useless and outdated. Pres. Obama, Lenny Kravitz, Halle Barry and Tiger Woods are all half black, but have darker skin than some black people with 2 black parents, so what is black? I saw a video on youtube where Charles Barkley and Snoop Dog took a DNA test to see who was more black. Charles Barkley is lighter and if you use skin color you would assume that he is less black than Snoop. It turned out that while Charles had more white in him, he also had more African in him. Snoop had less black than Charles, less white, but a large percentage of Native American. Judging race by features and skin color is very flawed because genes can manifest in many ways. I have a cousin who is dark skinned like Snoop (her mom is half black and half Chinese and her dad is East Indian), but people just assume she is black because of her skin color. I'm lighter like Charls Barkley, but I have more black in me since both of my parents have black in them. Her hair is stick straight while mine is tightly curled. Skin color doesn't tell the whole story. Black people need healing and to stop hating on each other and the US media needs to stop showing dark skinned blacks in negative ways. Black people are people like anyone else with goals and dreams. I think the color issue is because of the way black people are portrayed in the media. If you are shown only negative images of a group, why would you want to associate with them? I think that's where the hate on dark skinned blacks come from. I could be wrong, but my understanding of black culutre is that black people of all skin tones worked together after slavery ended and there was not this type of hate until the past few decades. I believe the negative images in the media played a big part in this because dark skinned blacks were always shown as poor and as servants. I remember Lena Horne saying there were dark skinned black women who were more attractive and more talented than she, but whites felt more comfortable with her, making it easier for her to succeed. In the past 5-10 years, aside from all black programs, blacks and especially black women have finally begun to be shown in positive roles. Shows like Greys Anatomy and Private Practice have black doctors and the new show Scandal has black lawyers. I don't remember seeing any show like this more than 10 years ago,especially with black women, so there has been some recent progress. I hope this progress continues and people realize black people aren't some weird group, but just regular people, leading to us being jusdged by our character and not our skin color as MLK Jr. dreamed.
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bahiana828 says:Posted: 29 May 08your comments towards ringo's statments are interesting but as a black british female, born and raised in london i can completly support his statements..i think the problem is you immediatly judged what came from his mouth as soon as you saw that he was a white male...I never experienced racism until my fianl job in London that was after undergrad, after 5 years of engineering..London is totally a different environment and people for the most part are judged on the essence of their character not on 'what they do' or 'what they earn' but who they are.. Most immigrants avoid blacks? i have never in my life heard people of African descent referred to in such a disrespectfull way as i have by African americans..part of that is ignorance as people do not travel, also the historical damage we all know about..Many of us 'immigrants' came here expecting with the amount of great leaders and political movements you've had that you would be way more culturally advanced than for example england and willing to embrace our fellow african brothers and sisters..but its sadly exactly the opposite..i've many times had to remind african americans that we came on the same boat and landed in a different destination because they've been so busy judgeing me by my accent or way of carrying myself as being too 'white' for them! 'googling london racism' is not going to tell you about london racism! have you been there? maybe you should take a trip..live there for a few years and then form an opinion..its actually as he said it is..its more based on poverty than it is a racial structure..the working and middle classes live in the same community go to the same schools..our school system is integrated so we are not as ignorant to each others cultures as i find people are here Another note about immigrants avoiding african americans..when my younger sister came here from london she was 7 years old..the black children bullied her because she was different while the white children embraced her..later on when she was in college and mixed with alot of white kids in a predominantly black school it was frowned upon! but these were the same kids that had been her friends for years when no one else wanted to know... There are racists in every community rarely will they stand up and say who they are in a public areana..black, white, hispanic whatever they define themselves as I know totally away from the topic..i just had put in my pennys worth :-)
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MissJamaica says:Posted: 18 May 08
okay you can tell the girl near the top of these posts who called herself "dark caramel WITH LIGHT UNDERTONES" has some SERIOUS colour issues...trying to make herself sound as light as possible. I mean UNDERTONES? When the hell did we start doing 2 shades on one person? Get a GRIP. Yes, black people are still colourstruck. And yes, dark skin men have it harder than everyone else in every aspect of life except the bedroom...there they are highly favoured...carry more immediate sex appeal...i saw a girl say it up top, and i said nearly the same thing in another post. It's easy to pass over a very lightskin or mix looking black guy as some pretty guy who is only there to look at and can't make your toes curl in bed. lol. Don't know why, just the stereotype. I've been proven wrong on that though so I watch my mouth now. lol.
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SXYBRWNSUGA says:Posted: 01 Jul 12
LOL that's hilarious. Two shades on one person. But you are 1000% correct. Good post.
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calif.peach says:Posted: 11 May 08This is a frustrating topic - but it seems that the answer lies less in psychology than in geography. Think about it - I live in the United States which is led, right or wrong, by a "white majority" - therefore, our vision of beauty is based on what that majority values or desires as they are the ones with the money and power who rule our media and who are seen and held up as examples most often. In Africa I venture to guess that this ideal is very different. In Japan very different again. In Israel too, and Sweden and Brazil - Each country's idea of beauty is modeled through the tastes of the majority. It is why, in my opinion, it is all about being even handed and raising our children in a diverse and balanced environment with an open exchange of information about media and political misconceptions. As for the implicit Association Test mentioned above - it is a very interesting test - I took it (I am white) and I was rated as having a preference toward black people - what I was really surprised to find was that I was among only some ridiculously small percentage (I don't remember exactly but I think it was somewhere between 2 and 10 percent - in that catagory) the thing is . . . that tiny percentage of people who preferred black people INCLUDED black people. It was rather stunning for me to know that and I felt really bad about that. Here is the link to that test if any of you want to take it - it isn't JUST about color differences, you can also take it about preference/prejudice for weight, religion, education, etc. - https://implicit.harvard.edu/implicit/demo/takeatest.html .
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Sassfem says:Posted: 09 Apr 08Hey! wow, so many awesome comments! This is an important topic and this post shows that many people do and are moving towards change! I just wanted to say a few things 1) I think this is an imp survey but as a Sociology major I find the sample to be VERY unrepresentative. I apologize in advance if I missed something, but people do have to take into account demographics. African-Americans are not homogeneous and a sample of 100 people from LA will not in any way be the same as NC or a place as super diverse as D.C and New York. I can only speak for myself but I grew up in New Orleans and Charlotte and currently reside near D.C . The socioeconomic and cultural differences of the black populations all differ in each place and that DOES affect attitudes. I am not saying colorism does not matter. It DEFINITELY matters a lot! I am just saying it would be stronger if the sample was wider. Also the notion of "value" and skin tone was a great thing to hit on RIA. We need to talk about it that way more, bc that is the problem. 2) I think colorism within the black race has to be explored with gender as a major factor. StarThai asked a great question about the diff rxns and attitudes of skin tone with black men vs black women. Honestly,i think the sexism intersecting with racism better explains why more emphasis is placed on the female being lighter (lighter is more "feminine" and attributes on women matter more than on men in terms of determining their value) Also darkness is masculine and strong and we like our men that way don't we? 3) Gender matters, and the anti-dark sentiments affect both men and women for sure!! However, size affects men and women, but women are the ones pressured to be thin and base their worth on how they look. Same with skin. For example, have you watched MOST commercials and seen black women and especially black daughters? No matter how dark mom and or dad are, that girl always ends up looking bi-racial or light skinned. So begins the cycle of brown and darker African-American girls getting subtle messages... IMPORTANT: Addressing the need for brown and darker women representation or embracing should not be confused with disliking lighter skinned blacks or bi-racial females. Honestly light skin and Euro featured African-Americans should be celebrated as well. BUT when you almost exclusively acknowledge and promote lighter skinned females (as the representation of black women), you send the message that brown and dark skin is not desirable, and that affects the women who are not light and all men who will then decide WHAT they find attractive. 4) I agree that we can not blame society alone! Parents play a big role and the individual black person has to recognize that admitting "the kitchen mentality" existed is not enough. We as dark or light or medium brown skinned ppl etc etc have to stop the blame game and start the healing one. Easier said than done! But like many of u said, we need to take that step! 5) I agree that we in the states should look at West Africa and how brown and darker skinned women are celebrated. But, let's not forget that TONS of women are bleaching their skin. Like, a disturbing number. And this pattern is directly correlated to people getting more access/interest/influence from U.S media (like BET, MTV and other shows are JUST as popular there now)And I am from there so I have seen it first hand. I am not saying that to be negative but to unite black diaspora and show that we have the same problems. More importantly, I say that to show it is not simply a "personal preference" It is a personal preference directly molded by societal attitudes. So truthbtold, I see where u r coming from, but you have to ask yourself how much of the ppls own rxns to light skin or the ideal proportions of women is in fact affected by society! I do not think tons of Liberians, Nigerians, Cameroonians etc are just NOW changing their mind about their love for their browner and darker women because they think the lighter end is better suddenly! Their influence from media which now plays a more central role in youth lives shows that their perceptions are affected by society. OK, I hope I did not sound preachy bc I just wanted to share my thoughts. I love the dialogue here. More of it is needed!! Thanks everyone for educating me as well! :0)
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DarkAndProud says:Posted: 09 Apr 08
Also note, I am an extremely dark male, and as a child I was made fun of for it. I still do have problems with it, but I'm working through it!
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DarkAndProud says:Posted: 09 Apr 08
I am sorry everyone, but I must get this out! "Hi I am a black woman in her late 40’s. I am a dark carmel shade with light undertone. My husband is light light damn near white looks absolutely hispanic. He has been abusive to me for 7 years because he feels that he is better than me. Society tells him everyday that he is better than other black especially other insecure blacks. They treat him special and allow him special treatment which is one of the reason he treats me bad. I too am like those blacks I take his abuse because of his skin tone." I read a book about a similar experience. It was about a young girl who began to date a supposed all around good looking man, and everybody loved him for his "Hazel Eyes" and his "Fine Skin". The girl began to date him, and he treated her like she wanted to be treated. After a while though, he attempted to abuse her, and she got up, and walked out of the door. She told the Police, and the man was over with. She did have some problems, and she didn't talk to anyone, but she realized that NOBODY can put her down! I love how she handled it, and she really did do a great job becoming all she can be! The book is named Darkness Before Dawn. Always remember, the sky is the limit, and the sky is endless!
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yanna says:Posted: 07 Apr 08
Who am i in this society? I know that i am a dark skin female and the most publicity that i will recieve is a main character in a bet movie or a porn star spot on a film or recording. Why is it that we as dark skin women are still expected to be the "dirty hoodrat" from around the corner. Yet, we are always viewed as the best strongest bays mother that the man wants to come home to
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Morningflower says:Posted: 03 Apr 08
Koriee.. I am embarrassed to read your question? are you really a college student? I am of Kenyan origin and your grammar puts me to shame. I am sorry.. I do not know what school you claim to attend but if you are sincerely looking to meet someone, I think its important to be ableto communicate exactly what you are looking for. I apologize if I have offended you in any way, but I just needed to put it out there that this is not a reflection on "all of us". I get enough grief from being classified under Black/African Descent". Secondly.. your question has no relevance to the complexities of having a dark or light skin; but hey! Good Luck in finding whatever you are looking for Girl! It's a mush-pit out here but I know there a couple of wonderful men out there and I am sure there is one for you - Assuming that you intentions are sincere? SO GOODLUCK! Back to the forum - RIA - thanks for posting this question I think it's fascinating to read the different points of view. Personally, I love the skin am in!
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koriee says:Posted: 03 Apr 08
I am so much glad to visit this web,my question is how can I make a friendship? which can led to serious marriage?am A kenyan am justin my first year of University if there is someone there who have theresame interest has I do then i will be hapy to get intought,thanks.
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Ndeye says:Posted: 01 Apr 08
I am a dark skinned woman who grew up believing that I was "a pretty dark girl". I think it's because people where constantly making that comment about me and my sister and because on many occassions I would be the be the girl that the most popular boy(s) in school were claiming or bragging was his girlfriend. I also remember lighter skinned girls treating me poorly, pulling my hair and saying I was wearing a weave because I did have long hair and according to the lighter skinned sisters, I was to black to have long hair. I haven't had problems dating or catching any kind of man I want from the darkest to the lightest and I am sorry if anyone feels insulted but the men and women that I do know of who are stuck on the light skinned thing tend to be of a class and mind-set that a consider unappealing and defintley not suitable to my high standards. Although, I didn't grow up feeling any less wanted are attractive because of my chocolate complexion, I have talked to a lot of sisters who say they were while growing up and still feel that they are treated very poorly by men becuase of their dark skin. My experience has been different. While I have not been treated poorly by men I can say that I have experienced negative interactions with lighter skinned sisters. It has always been one of them that makes it her business to tell me that people tend to be prejudice against dark skinned women. Maybe it's done as a reminder for me to stay in my place and not be too confident in myself. I don't know. But, I definitley believe that one of my friends was so right when she said, 'it's all good and fine when I light or carmel skinned sister is beautiful and feels good about herself but, it seems like they have a problem when we darker hued sisters are fine, beautiful and feel good about ourselves and that just looks like jealousy to me. Maybe it's the black women who have bought in to the ligheter better ideal and maybe it's these women who have or think they have benefited most from this ideal who are perpetuating this issue and maybe we need to get a grip and learn to respect and accept each other then we can ask for respect from our men
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Leah says:Posted: 19 Oct 07
I am a very light skinned african-american teenager and I feel as if I have to work harder because im constantly being looked at for my fair skin.Alot of dark girls look at me as a threat. Its not fair.
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Darklicious says:Posted: 16 Sep 07Kayla, you don't really understand the whole subject as your commnet was so off base. It's not that dark skinned women don't like their skin color, it's people in this world that try to make us feel like we're not as good as them. It just happens to be that lighter skinned women do feel this way and have always felt this way. This is something that has exsisted through the years and it's still instilled in some people. In the slavery time the lighter skinned slaves were always inside the house while the darker skinned slaves were in the field,this gave the lighter skinned slaves the idea that they were better. Regardless of what you or anyone else thinks, unfortunately it still exsists in 2007. Yes I believe in perferences too but I don't try to make anybody feel last attracted or less of a person. I can tell by your name that you are much younger than me, being 51, I have taken the real insults in my younger days so that maybe the young dark skinned young women can feel better about themselves. Just like our grandparents took the worst part of racism. I don't know your skin complexion but if by chance it is dark, you can enjoy being beautiful,gorgeous because the real bad insults have been directed at us dark skinned women that's older and we only hope that it's better for our beautiful dark skinned young women today. It would be nice if we as a race would focus on something else but unfortunately we don't and it is this attitude that keeps us hating one another. I have two sons(20 & 27) and I tell them to date whomever in fact I told them to date all of them because that is the way it should be.
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kayla says:Posted: 02 Sep 07
This is so wrong....darkskins think theyre better than us darkskin ppl and lightskin ppl think they re better than darkskin ppl either way there's both ugly and pretty from both sides..and yess the majority of guys and even my family members which are guys prefer light skin girls cause they think theyre more attractive im sorri but thats the truth and theyre all darkskins still i stick wid my theory which is it all depends on what the individual prefers.. its not that hard to get im so rry to all yall who are offended by your skin colour and letting what other ppl say affect yall
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JordanMardan says:Posted: 23 Aug 07Contrary to Ringo's 7/24 message: www.obv.org.uk Rev Jesse Jackson to visit city The civil rights activist, Rev Jesse Jackson, is to visit Bristol. The Reverend will speak at a ticket-only event in the city, addressing topics including inequality and debt. Cllr Peter Hammond, the city council's deputy leader, said he welcomed the visit, which is scheduled for the week beginning 20 August. He said: "On behalf of all the people of Bristol I'd like to welcome Reverend Jackson to Bristol." "His visit is a significant boost to the work we are doing and will give confidence and encouragement to members of the black community," he said.
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heartnsoul59 says:Posted: 15 Aug 07I read something today on another site. A gentleman had made a comment on a scripture in the bible it said "he who finds a good wife finds a good thing" then he stated God didn't say a black wife or a white wife or a brown...you get my drift...wow.... it said it all for me!!!!
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Jade74 says:Posted: 14 Aug 07Thank you JordanMardan for the comment to Ringo. RINGO...AS AMERICANS AND SOME OF US THAT OR ON HERE...WE ARE NOT DEPRESSED IN WHATEVER MATTER U ARE THINKING.WE ARE MOSTED BLESSED PEOPLE THAT ARE ENVY BY MANY.RACISM EXIST WORLDWIDE NOT JUST IN AMERICA ALSO IN LONDON AS WELL.
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AhTrini says:Posted: 14 Aug 07Thank you JordanMardan, your rebuttal to Ringo is very well appreciated. I laugh at his simplicity to such a complex matter of race relations and the reasons for prejudice. While most of us on here came for whatever reasons, it's naive to think racism does not exist, especially in upper class White society. That’s sooooooooooo laughable.
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JordanMardan says:Posted: 12 Aug 07
Ringo: But as long as you keep seeing race first and foremost, you will never achieve an integrated society. Jordan: Unfortunately, colorism is not only a problem among Blacks but also with ALL other groups in the US and around the world. Most immigrants arriving in the US seem to avoid Blacks in order to be viewed favorably by whites. I have a number of peer-reviewed research articles and popular culture articles that examine "immigrants' behavior in regards to 'race'. " We've all been conditioned by the media, which includes textbooks, movies, commercials, radio, novels, etc., to think in a very narrow way, and it takes INTENTIONAL thinking, reflection, and actions to act counter to what the mainstream culture bombards us with on a daily basis. Google the following: Implicit Assumption Test. The test evaluates one's preferences in regards to "race", gender, etc. Ringo: I live in London and while things aren’t perfect it sounds a whole lot better than over there. Jordan: That could easily be disproved by simply googling "London and racism" or any other similar terms. Ringo:I came from a social housing background, and what I have achieved I have done so myself. Jordan: While I highly doubt that "race" has not played a role in "your" achievements, I have to ask: what does that have to do with the topic that began this thread?! Ringo: A common mistake is qualifications guarantee you something. WRONG! It’s how you can demonstrate you have or will apply them that count. Jordan: I would tend to agree, but for a different reason. For example, in the US workplace employers often look at one's GPA, but the GPA tells the employer nothing about "how will this potential applicant work with others" or "what type of leadership could we expect?" I would agree with the "ability to apply the knowledge." The TV show McGyver is an excellent example of the ability to apply what you know and do it creatively. But again...what does that have to do with the initial topic?! Ringo: The real enemy is not race it’s poverty and that affects all races over here. Jordan: Socio-economic status does play a huge role. However, if a poor white person was given the necessary membership fees, he/she could join most any country club in the US while poor People of Color could not. So although "race" is a social construction, it IS real (biological) for those who are racist. Ringo: and as a white man I can say whenever I have been in mixed relationships any eyebrow raising has not been from my family or friends but from her family or friends. Jordan: That's because.....generally-speaking.... middle- and upper-class whites do NOT publicly reveal their racist and/or prejudical beliefs. But once in private, their behavior is just the opposite. Those pretending in public will often find a private or indirect way to express their hatred, etc., such as writing someone out of their will, making private threats, etc. While you may not have experienced any of these, Ringo, your experiences are not the norm. In general, middle- and upper-class whites communicate in a passive or indirect manner in public. While middle- and upper-class Blacks may assume the indirect communication style while in public or at work, many revert back to a more direct style when at home or places that are predominantly African American. (there are exceptions to the rule) JordanMardan
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JordanMardan says:Posted: 12 Aug 07
cocokisses wrote: "Most pastors that are dark skinned have light skinned wives." Jordan: Why is ALL the attention on the dark-skinned person in the relationship?! Couldn't we also say "light-skinned women are attracted to dark-skinned pastors?!" JordanMardan
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lovingstar says:Posted: 12 Aug 07Darker skinned women are beautiful but in the society we live in, they seemed not as valued as other women. So when I see a successful woman of color, Naomi Campbell, Oprah, Secretary of State Ms. Condolezza Rice, Tyra Banks, Sanna Lathan, Kelly Rowland, Beyonce, Mo'nique, U.K.'s Freema Agyeman(Dr. WHO series 3), Gina Torres, Jennifer Rodriquez, Toni Braxton, Canada's Rachel Luttrell(Stargate Atlantis), Whoppie Goldberg, Wanda Stykes, Canada's Kandyse McClure(BattleStar Galatica), and my favorite: Renee Elise Goldsberry(ABC's One life to live). I look up to these women of color and I love them equvaliently because of their talent, their skill, their cleverness, their attitude. They make me proud of who I am and they make me proud of my sisters (Black, red, yellow, and white). Preference is shaped by both society and what we are innately attracted too. Black women are treated differently because of our skin tones just like white women are treated differently because of their age. Generally as a black woman I was taught by my Haitian mother, not to count on my looks because it fades, I was instead taught to count on my wits and to surround myself with positive people because in the end that is what really counts. Beauty comes with age in my family anyway.
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Jade74 says:Posted: 02 Aug 07
Good topic.I have read a book recently on this topic:"THE COLOR COMPLEX THE POLITICS OF SKIN COLOR AMONG AFRICAN AMERICANS" BY KATHY RUSSELL,MIDGE WILSON AND RONALD HALL.
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truthebtold says:Posted: 28 Jul 07Has anyone ever thought that lighter skinned people are just better looking then dark ones? I know this is controversial but 96% preference is pretty conclusive and culture does not explain all of it being that skewed. They have done studies on female figures and me prefer the women also with a good hip to waist ratio. This test was done using the same female but of different proportions the men all found the one with the better proportions as pretty.
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RayneDelay says:Posted: 28 Jul 07
Laurie they won't do it, because that type of test was meant for black folks. That test was created by some racist white folks that wanted to show black folks as a bunch of mixed up knuckleheads. They already proved that many asians would and have gotten eye lid surgery to make them looke more "western" (white). White folks tan, increase lips, ass, breast and kink up the hair to get the looks of a black woman. Latin women repeately straighten and bleach there hair to look more anglo. Pretty soon we all will assimilate and morph into aliens from the planet Zotar.
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Laurie says:Posted: 27 Jul 07
I was wonder if someone has consider doing a doll test on hispanic and white dolls and/or asian and white dolls would be very interesting to see what the results would be.
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raymond says:Posted: 25 Jul 07hello i just want to sasy it doesn't matter what color is a person if they want to have some fun or going sailing then they have the right to say yes or no.i know some one who get tan and he don't mind because he love it and he is black i know i am that man so it really dopn't make any diff at all
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raymond says:Posted: 25 Jul 07
hello i just want to sasy it doesn't matter what color is a person if they want to have some fun or going sailing then they have the right to say yes or no.i know some one who get tan and he don't mind because he love it and he is black i know i am that man so it really dopn't make any diff aty all
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Starthai says:Posted: 24 Jul 07I have one more comment, does anyone know why black males that are dark skinned do not get critsized as much as dark skinned woman. I always wondered if it is women who are not dark and can't tan to be as dark hating and keeping dark skinned sisters down, because I've never meet a dark skinned girl yet that is jealous of a light skinned girl, I think the most of us don't understand why we get pushed a side for lighter. I think dark skinned woman espcially love ourselves the way we are it's other people that put the BS in our heads that were not beautiful.
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Starthai says:Posted: 24 Jul 07
Hi guys, I'm feeling this topic it is a shame we still have color issues. Ringo thanks for letting me know how cool London is when I get out of school I might just move there:) Ok, First I would like to comment on Miss Ky I think you are very strong and confident, however I'm dark skinned and love it I like to hang out with other dark skinned girls not because I'm intimidated by light skinned, but because in a way I feel empowered walking along side another beautiful, intelligent, confident dark skinned woman. You will be surprised how people clinge because of that. Check it:) I have no problems with hanging with light skinned girls my best friend is light skinned, we moved to different cities and lost touch, but we adored each other I miss her. What I want to say to you Miss Ky is I respect you but if me loving to hang around other beautiful, dark skinned girls because I feel even more empowered makes me ignorant then so be it. Cindie you are so cool and right, these kids are confused I have a mixed child and when tennis comes on he says, "Mommy who are you rooting for the dark girl or the light one, of course I love Venus and Serena, but where is he getting this from, it seems as if he thinks dark is not good at first but when I say I'm cheering for Venus he changes his mind, he is 6 yrs old how did he learn to distinguish two talented woman from dark to light, the hell with society I never wanted to show him that, so now I have to mold what he hears and see, which is normal, but when it comes to color I hate that he has to go through the BS. I'm happy with myself, but it wasn't always this way I used to date only dark guys as well, but I didn't feel as valued with a Black guy like I do with guys outside of my raise and don't get me wrong there are bad guys in every culture. So to black guys when a dark skinned sister gives you no time of the day check yourself and see what you have created. To darklicious, sorry but your mom is stupid and her stupidity seems to not have any reflection on you - thank god. For her to say your'e not good enough for a white man, who says all white men are good she is the problem and not the solution. I don't date white guys, because of money or that they're better I feel that I am looked at and treated like a queen moreso with white men and all white men don't like black women so it makes it a lot harder for me. In any event I think all people go through things, but it seems that us dark skinned woman go through more, so respect the attitude when you see us coming lol...
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Ringo says:Posted: 24 Jul 07Scanning over most posts, I assume you are mostly Americans and boy how depressing. I don’t know how much is fact, how much is fiction and how much is bitterness but as long as you keep seeing race first and foremost, you will never achieve an integrated society. I live in London and while things aren’t perfect it sounds a whole lot better than over there. You will get groups on all sides who feel hard done by, but for every minority ethnic group complaining about discrimination against them you will find whites making the same complaint. I came from a social housing background, and what I have achieved I have done so myself. I studied hard and have got every job I have ever had through open and fair competition. No doors have been held open for me, no favours done. And crucially where I have failed I have never blamed my shortcomings on anything else – I have faced them not looked for excuses. A common mistake is qualifications guarantee you something. WRONG! It’s how you can demonstrate you have or will apply them that count. I know people who are bristling with business diplomas and degrees but wouldn’t know how to make a dollar if it hit them in the face. Passing exams is totally different to working, don’t expect to be chatting academic theory in the work place. So if you turn up at interviews thinking your qualifications guarantee the job, you are deluded. Think outside of the box, qualifications may help you get the interview, the employer wants to see how you’d do the job. I have an Economics degree and can’t recall the last time I used anything I was taught at university. The real enemy is not race it’s poverty and that affects all races over here. Then again we have NEVER had segregation like you had as recently as the 60s (plus we also get at least 20 days a year holiday [I actually get 30], unlimited paid sick leave, free hospitals and health care, better pay, £1 sterling is worth almost $2, and London is a far cooler city than NYC – you should move here) Here, in my experience, mixed race relationships aren’t even noticed, and as a white man I can say whenever I have been in mixed relationships any eyebrow raising has not been from my family or friends but from her family or friends. But for the most part race has been a non-issue and I have 4 mixed race children from more than one relationship and culture. I look years younger than my age as well, have distinctive blue eyes which I wouldn’t swap for anything which many find irresistible. I’m in good shape too and cool, stylish, successful, educated and urbane – just classy. It just shows a handsome man is a handsome man no matter what his background.
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RayneDelay says:Posted: 21 Jul 07
Oh my goodness Darklicious, what a horrifying story. You are a survivor of ignorance that has nothing to do with you. Dark, my heart goes out to you and I am sorry for the pain you have experienced throughout your life. You have an insightful and beautiful Thank you for sharing your story. Unfortunately, the effects of slavery still exhists. And it's being passed down to the children. People have got to understand that parents will passs on thier fears, hatred and prejudices. I am light brown with a dark skinned mother from Arkansas. She met and married my father a fair skinned black man of mixed background who was raised in Chicago. NEVER, have my parents made me feel as if my skin color was good or bad. It was never an issue in the immediate family. However, it was an issue at school and among extended family members. Some family members do not even consider me black. The kids would pick on me at school until my father started walking me to school, then it all stopped. Because they thought he was Native American or White so therefore I had more value now and maybe the fact that my father was there to protect me, made them straigten up and fly right. When my mother would go for walks with my light bright skinned older sister in her stroller, neighbors would think that my mother was the nanny. LOL, my siblings and I are various skin tones and people just assume that we have several different fathers. It irratates me when my sister and brothers show up and someone starts asking, "So um do you and your sister have the same father?" Of course I usually go back to my sister and tell her what happened and we laugh at the ignorance that people have. I get very embarrassed for some people, how could they walk around being so STUPID?? It's like they never matured since the 5th grade. I had a best friend in grammer school who was dark skinned and she was treated terribly, was insecure and clingy. I loved her and understood her. Eventually we both went to seperate highschools and we have never seen each other. Every now and then I would see her walking down the street with a different kid. She suffered a lot of abuse. I had a close light skinned friend but she was crazy. My closest friends tend to be dark skinned. I attribute it to my darkskinned mother. I noticed that dark skinned & brown skinned men tend to seek me out as a mate moreso than any other skin tone. White/Latino/Asian men rarely seek me out. Light skinned men almost never. I am attracted to all types of men, with more of a preference for White European (English/Welsh/Danish) or Eurasian(Keanu Reeves).
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darklicious says:Posted: 18 Jul 07
I am a dark skinned,very dark skinned female from north carolina so you know right off i have gone through pure hell all my life. I never really experienced any positive comments from black people either,only negative. Naming calling was very common and i think maybe it still exisits today but not as open. You can have some of the smoothest dark skin but just because the tone is dark,you are considered ugly.I remember as a child feeling like God punished me by making my skin this dark and i always felt like he didn't love me as much as white and lighter skinned black people. This feeling carried on into my adult life and i never realized that i was valuable and loved by God until I was in my 40's. I beg anyone that is making another person feel this way please stop as it's something that you just forget,it goes on with you through your life until God reasures you that you are worthy and just as good. As for me myself because of the torment that i've been put through,i feel no real connection with blacks,only with whites and this is the connection that i would rather work on. I have gotten to the point where i don't think black men really want me as a mate so i have become more attracted to white men. I've always had an attraction to white men but it was something that would never happen. Now at this point in my life, i am going to purse it until i find the right one,as a black guy once told me, you are to black for a white man. My mother hasn't made it any better as she never allows me to make my choice of men,they are always too light. She didn't like my first love because he was too light and his family would not want me around were her words.Later in life i end up having a beautiful son by him that his family loves and of course our son is not light skinned. I say to any black person that is going to be all into that skin color, especially women like my mother,don't have children by dark skinned men. My father was dark skinned and from south carolina yet she feel in love with him and had me,it was after they broke up and she was alone that she must have changed. I can only say that she made my life a living hell. Last year i might a mexican male and mentioned it to her and the first thing she said was, is he dark because she doesn't think i am worthy of a light skinned man or a white man. She put a real knife in my heart yet i choice not to be like her, a single mother with 6 children by 6 different men and none of them really knowing their father but me.
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choxiejason says:Posted: 18 Jul 07I am more attracted to darker women. And, my exgirlfriend tans in the summer. Just thought I'd mention that.
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Coaching Testimonial
"My online love inspiration angel"
Submitted by: Patricia, USA, 21
To be honest, in the beginning, I thought it would be a waste of time. But since I've never seen a similar service in any other dating site, I decided to give it a try.
I always "thought" my profile was on point and I did not need any help to correct my page. I always had in my profile if someone is not attracted to my profile, then that's "their" loss.
BOY WAS I WRONG!!
I will never forget my first time using the Coaching Service I was introduced to my personal Dating Coach. Let me put it this way, if it was not for her I would have given up long time ago (even though I'm a new member).
She taught me so many things and gave me good advice, I did not want to stop chatting with her at all.
She opened my eyes to many possibilities when finding love. She is definitely an inspiration and I appreciate a whole lot. She is more than a Dating Coach to me; she is more of a close friend/guide to me. She is definitely my "online love-inspiration angel".
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this topic is really something! i am a senior in college and I'm sorry to say that i'm color struck. I prefer to date out my race or someone that is my color or lighter. Ive been like this for yrs. i think dark men or not that attractive to me