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Are Black women and Asian men being sidelined?

Posted by Ria, 29 Oct

I'm always blogging about how White guys are getting the hot Asian women… but let's not forget Black guys dating White women.

One thing that made me sit and think for a moment is… "Are there fewer white men that are willing to date black women… and even fewer white women willing to date Asian men?" It’s like Black women and Asian men are being left on the sideline when it comes to the interracial dating game. So why is this?

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When it comes to online dating, Black women and Asian women seem to be disadvantaged. Men of all races usually claim to be open to dating men of all races but they seem to have reservations when it comes to Black women. Similarly, women who claim that they just want to find a nice, kind, respectful man, who say physical preference is not a deal-breaker seem to pump their brakes at Asian men.

Whether we like it or not, this is evident online and also with other match-making services. The profiles of Asian men and Black women rank lowest when it comes to the numbers of other singles showing interest in them. They seem to get fewer messages as well as fewer matches. Matchmaking services also say that these two groups are the hardest to find matches for.

There is the emasculation of Asian men by the media for years that seems to have translated to a self-fulfilling prophecy that ended up giving birth to an actual non-attraction to Asian men in real life.

As for black women, the media portrays them as sassy, strong women who emasculate men. Society makes them appear to be more masculine than women of other races making people assume that they are effeminate, hence physically less attractive.

Asian men and black women are having a harder time dating because of the societal constructed beauty standards and stereotypes. On the other hand, Asian women and Black men are doing so much better with Asian women being idealized as being more sexual and more feminine and Black men as more masculine and well endowed.

Then there is also a different spin to all this... maybe Black women and Asian men probably aren’t interested in dating outside of their own race...

The other thing about Asian men and Black women is that this particular interracial combo is also rare. Black woman-Asian man couples are sometimes even ridiculed as poor matches by whites, blacks, and Asians alike. Is this combo freakish as some people who have never seen such a couple put it?

I believe when people finally get over their rigidity and put a human face to black woman-Asian man relationships eventually they will respect this combo as much as most Americans accept and even laud some other types of interracial unions.

Well, I think this would be one viable option to consider in interracial dating… Seeing as Black women and Asian men are the least likely groups to be matched online, maybe they should consider dating each other more. That way we will see a rise in Asian Men Black Women couples and then maybe, we will stop gawking when we see them. What do you make of it?

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476 responses to "Are Black women and Asian men being sidelined?"

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  1.   mia says:
    Posted: 17 Aug 08

    I think we as caribbean women have always looked saw Asian men as just men nothing else. American Black women are starting to see the same. Don't be so hard on.

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  2.   what? says:
    Posted: 16 Aug 08

    who's leaving out who? I'm sorry but I really don't see the point of this discussion. You're either attracted to other races or you are not. White women are probably the most open minded about dating outside their race. Most black women at least... in one point in time had a prefernce to date only black men. I don't know what changed that opinion but I know they were not left out. As for asian men...I'm pretty sure they don't have a problem dating outside their race. When it comes to men....whether they be black, asian, white, hispanic or whatever share one thing....shallowness. We love beautiful women. If she is attractive...we like her. Period.

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  3.   singledad73 says:
    Posted: 14 Aug 08

    Everbody on here, put some great stuff, There was one comment in there about having a crush on someone of a color..To me if you see some one you like, you gotta step to the plate. I'd rather hear a "not interested, then to be left wondering" And can anyone give me any pointers on how to approach a black woman, like at a mall or at a well lite park, usually I just the "hi" part and poof rebuffed!

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  4.   vonn1200 says:
    Posted: 13 Aug 08

    It seems like all the opened minded asian men live way on the west coast. That's such a disappointment.

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  5.   mia says:
    Posted: 13 Aug 08

    Eastbay...lol.. haha You're crazy but it's good to know there are men out there that are not scare of us(Carribbean/African-American women). so it took you three to make a one woman. funny guy.....

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  6.   eastbay says:
    Posted: 13 Aug 08

    i don't see color all i see is beauty

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  7.   eastbay says:
    Posted: 13 Aug 08

    Im asian i look good the ladys call me fione Born and raised out here in Thee Bay area of cali. Diverse in every way. Been did and done that with all kinds of women of different background race etc. In my eyes color of race was never a big factor. I've always been attracted to black girls. Been with 3 and only considered 1 of them serious. I guess not all asian men out there got balls or game to speak to a lady of color. But there are asian men out there who can. Like me. baby giiirl whats ur name...let me talk to u lemme buy u a drink we in the bed like oooooooh oooooh

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  8.   question says:
    Posted: 12 Aug 08

    After reading Asian Guy's comment I thought it was ignorant, offensive and prejudicial. It was an untruthful statement. I will never understand how some people whether they be asian, black, hispanic, white, arabic, jewish, muslim, christian etc... can see prejudice in everyone else but themselves?!? To be truly open-minded is to see your own mistakes or prejudicial views.

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  9.   CandyKane says:
    Posted: 11 Aug 08

    High Risk, I just gotta say the part in your somment about not using one bad experience with people of a certain race to mark off that whole race is noteworthy. I've known alot of people to do that and that is just very idiotic of them and anyone who does such a thing. It's much like the people who watch the music videos or movies and think that everyone from the race depicted is like that in real life. Gees, how narrow-minded and naive.

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  10.   CandyKane says:
    Posted: 11 Aug 08

    Daniel Henney can kiss my ass. Will Demps trumps Danny boy's looks anyday. With that said. I never looked at it in the way that a poster from way back put it. The males in the families are looked upon to carry on the family name, so for real, like the sons will marry within their the race more. My boyfriend doesn't care about that though, he's Korean and Japanese and is dropping hints of wanting "pretty skinned kids with huge afros." Oh lawd. x.x

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  11.   wiseone says:
    Posted: 10 Aug 08

    Ladies, why are you discussing this? If you're attracted to an asian man...just go for it and ask them out. When I was in college decades ago...I liked black women. I asked a young black woman out who seemed to like me. I overheard her being grilled about dating outside her race by 3 black men. Of these three black men...at least two were dating outside their own race. I found this to be hypocrytical of them. Well she noticed me overhearing the conversation and she followed me after I took off. She explained back in 1994 that she felt she couldn't marry outside her race because it wouldn't be fair to her future kids or something. Therefore she didn't want to date outside her race. But she would date me if I would have been black. Well it kinda sucked but I figured there was nothing I could do about it. Also I was too much of a wuss to pursue her. Anyway my point is....you don't want regret in your life. I let a couple racist black guys convince me I didn't have a chance to date outside my race. So all these years have passed by and the sad thing is..when I met a new black or asian girl that I liked...I was too afraid to ask them out. I didn't think I had a chance. But I look back to at least a couple girls that I MIGHT have been very happy with but never dated. So..please learn from my regrets....if you have the hots for an asian guy you work with or etc...ask them out. Don't have regrets like me.

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  12.   Member says:
    Posted: 10 Aug 08

    Ladies, why are you discussing this? If you're attracted to an asian man...just go for it and ask them out. When I was in college decades ago...I liked black women. I asked a young black woman out who seemed to like me. I overheard her being grilled about dating outside her race by 3 black men. Of these three black men...at least two were dating outside their own race. I found this to be hypocrytical of them. Well she noticed me overhearing the conversation and she followed me after I took off. She explained back in 1994 that she felt she couldn't marry outside her race because it wouldn't be fair to her future kids or something. Therefore she didn't want to date outside her race. But she would date me if I would have been black. Well it kinda sucked but I figured there was nothing I could do about it. Also I was too much of a wuss to pursue her. Anyway my point is....you don't want regret in your life. I let a couple racist black guys convince me I didn't have a chance to date outside my race. So all these years have passed by and the sad thing is..when I met a new black or asian girl that I liked...I was too afraid to ask them out. I didn't think I had a chance. But I look back to at least a couple girls that I MIGHT have been very happy with but never dated. So..please learn from my regrets....if you have the hots for an asian guy you work with or etc...ask them out. Don't have regrets like me.

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  13.   Member says:
    Posted: 08 Aug 08

    OK, back to the post. I'm an Asian male and have been with my Black wife since 1979. We are having an excellent life. Over the decades, we've gotten the occasional double take from older Asian and Black women. The younger generation doesn't seem to have a problem. After reading the blogs, apparently Starthai has personal issues with Asians in one dental office. Please don't make an opinion of a whole ethnic group. Diyal, if people stare, who cares. Simon123, you are beautiful, you'll find someone. The bottom line is if you care for each other, who cares what other people think.

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  14.   Mia says:
    Posted: 08 Aug 08

    A good friend of mine just read the post and he said that the person comments sounds like the person is asian and speaking as a "third person". so you are right worthurwhile the person is looking to see what is being said. "be-4 I slither away" sounds like a man than a woman and "angry black women" It is obvious he/she is packing pounds and self hate.

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  15.   Mia says:
    Posted: 08 Aug 08

    What the hell!... Shojigirl.. lol… what you wrote shows that you were fighting yourself then and now as a black women and your race. How dare you even suggest or had the nerve to post that nonsense and expected people to take you serious. As a confident, high self esteem and educated American-West Indian. In my opinion you are a slave within yourself being someone you are not. You conditional yourself for your cause don’t give your opinion to young women because you are making them sell themselves short of not being who there are.. We as women today will not sell ourselves short for whatever reason. I am quite sure when you get around your family or friends the one you had before you met your “husband᾿ you are different. That if you having dumped them already. When you put down your race in front of this man or any man from a different culture you make them see only that behavior. Asia history shows just like all race men have not respect women in any form. But their history shows women as sex toys. As a professional or don’t let me forget an “Educated᾿ one to at that on the way to law school. I would never ever put down my sister or give them that BBBSSSSSS opinion or make a remark in that sense. Opinion or not. You sound as if you are still fighting for your marriage. You need to be more positive as a “True women᾿ and don’t hate for now in this era Asia men are not putting us through what you went through during your time. As for your check off list here is my “OPINION᾿. Be more soft spoken, at times. Ans. What this garbage… soft spoken it bed talk that is how you sound or are you talking about how we talk to a child. Be less aurgumentive, because Asian men don’t like drama, nor do they like their women to openly express in public (out of respect). Aurgumentive most Asian women do just that and it’s always about money. So what are you talking about? Wear your own hair, when possible. Please now it doesn’t matter fake or real as long as it looks good. Asian men don’t care anymore. White women have for sometime wearing it. Like Cher back in the 60’s and 70’s she even said it wasn’t her hair. Stay fit and slender, not fat Stay fit to be healthy of course but not just to keep a “man’ Femine appearance, as in a very girlish. Japs like that What do they want a child as a wife. Looking good of course. Not timid. What the deal with the “Japs᾿ remark. That is very offensive to say. Be educated as most of us are Educated in all sense for the right reason to better yourself. They like shyness, but with opportunity (be open to things) Open to what things? And Why act like you are shy? Appreciate the little things (not what u think) What little things? Like what do say. Be a giver (rub him, sweat talk him, feed him(whatever he wants) Most women are giver we bear children it’s in our genes. “Giving him whatever he wants᾿ your concept may be sick. Funny, cool and alittle crazi n bed. Sounds like a play that has been going on for 11years.

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  16.   Member says:
    Posted: 08 Aug 08

    Ladies...if you want to date asian men...just ask them out. Yes some black men will be annoyed seeing you with them but so what?! If it makes you happy then you should do it. In my life experience...all men of all races have their share of racists. Living in Korea...a lot of white guys I knew were messed with by asian men when they dated asian women. I personally dealt with my own drama from black men when I was walking down the street with a beautiful black woman. And most of the time she was just a friend. And a another friend of mine who dated a hispanic girl encountered problems with hispanic men etc. But its not as bad as it used to be. Yes I still get a couple stares from time to time but its not all the time. Most people of all races really...don't care. I know a lot of white guys who hook up black guys with white girls and that was during the end of the nineties. We're in 2008. What I'm trying to say is if you want to date outside your race..go ahead. But I read in some comments that some of you feel that you won't be accepted. That's...ridiculous. The majority of the public will accept it because they are USED to seeing it and deep down...they don't care. Those of you who think otherwise..I'm really sorry to say this...but maybe you're a little prejudiced yourself.

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  17.   Momo-byon says:
    Posted: 31 Jul 08

    I am a black female who obsesses over Asian guys! All of my friends are into Asian guys but we just don't really care about dating. Staring at them from afar is good enough...anyway, i am very Afro-centric and i believe that the main cause as to why AM/BF aren't getting together much is due to Colonialism. Im 18 but i study up on race relations (although i don't believe in races or ethnicities. If you don't know this well...we all migrated out of Africa so technically everyone is black...take a good look at most Asian noses...) and ive read many different blogs that tell how its beautiful in most Asian countries for their women to be pale. Colonialism has played with the minds of every 'Far Descendant of Africa' and i think its a pity most can't see beyond the propaganda. I firmly believe that as long as a non-white person lives in America, they could never fully achieve pride within their own skin. Look at commercials carefully. Look at who they portray as 'beautiful' in the media...nuff said...

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  18.   Aurorin says:
    Posted: 16 Jul 08

    I love all good men. I am attracted to Asian men as much as I am attracted to any other men. I do actually believe that it is no coincidence that Asian men and women aren't seen together much on television or in the movies. Asian men have been under-sexualized, whereas we black women have been over-sexualized in the media. Both sets of stereotypes are detrimental to our respective reputations (as people tend to believe whatever they see or hear from the media). If there is mutual attraction, we should see more AM/BF couples. From many of the responses here, I think it's safe to assume that some AM are asking BF out on dates. My cousin married a 1st generation Chinese man in the late 1960s and they are still happily married. I never thought to ask her if she suffered any prejudice. I would imagine, that prejudice is inevitable no matter what you do, if you're dating interracially. If this is your preference (to date interracially), I think you may actually already be prepared for stares, ridicule, or difficulties with families. Family traditions and customs are of course the most difficult to break, especially when family ties may get severed in the process. I believe that the reason we don't see more now is due to personal preferences that are based upon negative stereotypes of each other. This can change and I hope that it does.

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  19.   Kemba says:
    Posted: 15 Jul 08

    I just figured since black women dont look european, there was no interest on the side of asian men to seek us out. Usually I see them with women that meet the "european" standard of beauty.

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  20.   anai says:
    Posted: 14 Jul 08

    Wow this has been an very intriguing conversation to say the least. I will say being a new member that I wanted to see what this site had to offer with asian men in particular. Sterotypes are thick and heavy in the asian and black community ironically those are the two most imitated cultures every where you turn something iconic is portrayed in the media with a black or asian theme - and they do this because it sells , eg. Rush Hour!!! culture is not based on what you think it should be but its based on the way its community richly embraces their own traditions. I love these kinds of discussions especially with fellow intelligent women that convey their opinions with such vitality and grace

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  21.   Nandi says:
    Posted: 09 Jul 08

    LOL, Shojigurl...Yet you are the one with no picture posted LOL...I guess we will never know how much pounds you are packing LOL...Perhaps those stares you received was because they were in awe of your lack of self-esteem and level of self-hate... I think this topic is great, even with its resident obtuse poster..

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  22.   Shojigirl says:
    Posted: 08 Jul 08

    I Shojigirl will say this be-4 I slither away lol.....Since we are suppose to stick to the question above, angry black women ... From what I can recall the title read,"Are Black women and Asian men being sidelined?" And the answer is half yes and half no! Once I started dating outside the black race, I got a lot of negative stares, laughter, and sarcastic remarks from black women, and black men. But what was more staggering was how many black women commented on how they found other ethnicity groups appealing (attractive). But out of fear and resentment from their own kind, they decided to remain with black men. Meanwhile others are adventuring out,soo there's main problem. Anywho I'm done with this boring topic, and for those who still can't attract men/women outside his or her race. Maybe its your attitude! Or you need to lose some pounds! peace!

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  23.   cuteblkwm says:
    Posted: 08 Jul 08

    Ladies I am with you on this "shojigirl" - intelligence must be a requirement to post a response on the wonderful questions asked by Ria each week. This is an attempt by one disturbed individual to take the focus away from the main issue which is the beauty of interracial dating; with a focus on Asian Men/Women and Black Men/Women. (now..slither away shoji). My thoughts on this - to be honest, I have not seen many asian/black couples and would love to see more of that happening. I know that there would be alot of cultural hurdles to overcome, but it can be done.

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  24.   Nandi says:
    Posted: 08 Jul 08

    worthurwhile...Shojigirl is not who it claims to be, something to wound up folks...I mean who says "you go girl" That is so 80's and soundslike someone undercover for another agenda.Furthermore any one who need a mother in law or someone else to demand they are productive, obviously is not And if "it" is dating/married to an Asian, why is the bulk of its responses "why brothers are turning away" Who cares and why should it? On an interracial dating site? Please Sounds more like a person suffering from penile dysfunction.

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  25.   worthurwhile says:
    Posted: 08 Jul 08

    @Nandi - I think you might have been onto something with this "shojigirl" person.

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  26.   worthurwhile says:
    Posted: 08 Jul 08

    Shojigirl? what is wrong with you? like seriously? what is it? can you go back and read your statements?? are you even a woman? you profile does not show up so that leads me to believe that you are one of those people that hide behind monitors and keyboards to get the rest of us all "wound up" over nothing. Well..I am not feeding into your crap...Because of these statements which have no place in this forum and neither do they carry any merit. Take your idealistic BS elsewhere - we are not buying whatever you are trying to sell. ARIGATO! "To each is own is true, but some make it difficult for others to reach forward and grabb their hands, and heart. Which is why some brothers are going the other way!"

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  27.   Shojigirl says:
    Posted: 07 Jul 08

    Ms. Worthwhile, I respect your statement all the way, and for that "YOU GO GIRL!" However the truth will sometimes hurt those who are in denial. I made this list not because my soul is unhappy and I hate myself, but for those women who don't have the courage to make some changes, but yet they'll complain about why no one wants them! To each is own is true, but some make it difficult for others to reach forward and grabb their hands, and heart. Which is why some brothers are going the other way! As far as my asian mother in-law, comment. Would you want your daughter/son dating someone with no productive future? That alone has nothing to do with race, just ask around. Again this is my opinion. But thanks for responding.

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  28.   Morningflower says:
    Posted: 07 Jul 08

    Shojigirl - I am very dissapointed by your post, but like you said, this is just your opinion - so here is mine. First of all, don't generalize "US" that way - we all bring something different to the table and one man may find me attractive, another may not or vise versa- it is what it is. I am not some "remodelling project" for a man to come and change as he pleases and never would I allow it. Would I yell and act inappropriately to embarass my man or deliberately put him down infront of friends/relatives etc - absolutely not - But I will "check him" behind closed doors because that is what couples do - they let each other have a voice! Do I Work out and eat healthy for a man? - NO - I do it because there is a sense of accomplishment - I am doing something good FOR ME. Secondly, Of course, in order for any relationship to work, changes need to be made on things that make sense but not that dumb list! You ought to be talking about self love and not that crap about hair and slaving over a stove. Does your husband really know your true self? do you even know who you are anymore or have you lost yourself so much in the relationship in order to conform to his preferences that you do not remember who you are? What is so hard about letting others see the real you, not the man or woman you think they want you to be. The reason you should just be yourself is that you want your mate to want you just for being you. That way there’s no pressure to keep putting on an act. I don't know about you, I think that changing yourself to meet your date’s or mate’s criteria is not only stressful and dishonest, but it’s also a surefire way to doom a relationship. Love me or Leave me.. -The End-

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  29.   Nandi says:
    Posted: 06 Jul 08

    shogirl...Your list sounds like something a man would pay for to obtain...Unbelievable worthuwhile, I agree with you...Although it is hard to believe in 2008, that any woman would discount herself and have such self hate and low self esteem, shogirl post is not even an intelligent one, which should atleast be a requirement...Asian women are very prominent in science and technology jobs that were once a male dominated field and I am positive their male counterparts can handle that.... That crap about hair, fat etc...Sure signals of low self esteem to hurl insults at an entire race to prove what? I wish my partner family would tell me " as long as you are productive, you can be with my son" I would have responded with kiss my ass! Other races won't approach us? is self-hatred to the 9nth degree.....And please don't say us, because the us that I know would not care what others thinks and demand whomever they seek to accept them for who and what they are......Perhaps it is the low-esteem of self that is the turn off... Everything is not about race so no need to self-inflict! Alot of cultures have strong cultural ties to their ethnic group/race and religion...Sometimes it is as simple as that...Indians particularly have very strong, arrangement married type of cultures...So it is not personal...No more than a white man who is attractive to white women only...just his preference doesnt mean his is a racist.. I have dated outside my race and I will tell you, I am not attracted to red heads, just not appealing to me...Doesn't mean I have a check list on things against red heads, just do not find them attractive.

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  30.   ShinyMira says:
    Posted: 06 Jul 08

    I agree with you worthurwhile very well stated missy.

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  31.   worthurwhile says:
    Posted: 06 Jul 08

    @ A - OH GOOD GOD IN HEAVEN! - YOU WERE RIGHT! THAT DANIEL HENNEY IS PERFECTION WITH A CHERRY ON TOP! WOW! He is my new obsession! Thanks A - Two words. Daniel Henney! mmm! mmm! mmm! @ Shojigirl - while I respect the time it took for you to write your comments, I really feel that they take "us back" 30 years. If you are "tailoring" your life to suit what you feel a man should want, or to fit his "idea of perfection" - then something is wrong. What if I am naturally outspoken and bold, or my hair doesn't sway in the wind? And don't get me started on your "FAT" statements? - I am not a feminist maniac..but damn! you are basically asking us to be something that we are not! I model as a hobby - and I decided to do a little experiment when I joined this site. I posted a professional picture of me -heavy make up, extentions, lights etc and I got 100 notes a day. When I put in my "real" picture - jeans, a sweater, no make up, acne, cellulite - the notes stopped, no winks..nothing. You are promoting this "idealism" that is so out of place and its statements like "not fat - repeat" or "feed him whatever he wants" "do not express yourself in public" (what does that even mean)..that take us back to a time when we had no voice. What has worked for me is "if you can appreciate me for who I am, flaws and all - then get the hell out of my way" - another man's loss is another man's treasure.

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  32.   Shojigirl says:
    Posted: 05 Jul 08

    I've been with my asian hubby for 11yrs now. He is highly intelligent,cool, sensitive they are, and sexy. And we have a child together. His family was cool about us as long as I was productive. Now, I do believe asian men are attracted to BW. But there are reasons why they or other races won't approach us. (In my opinion black women must ... 1. be more soft spoken, at times 2. be less aurgumentive, because asian men don't like drama,nor do they like their women to openly express in public (out of respect). 3.Wear your own hair, when possible. 4.Stay fit and slender ,nor fatt! Repeat!!!! 5.Femine appearance, as in very girlish. Japs like that!! 6.Be educated as most of us are! 7. they like shy-ness, but with opportunity (be open to things) 8. Appreciate the little things (not what u think!) 9. Be a giver. (Rubb him, sweat talk him, feed him (whatever he wants) 10. Funny, cool and alittle crazi n bed. If your willing to follow this short list, u'll get an asian man, white man, and more so a BLACK MAN!They will run back to you, afterall I never had a problem findin a black man, just one who didn't cheat. lol.. But again this is my opinion. goodluc!

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  33.   Ron says:
    Posted: 30 Jun 08

    I guess I would have to say that I'm in a rare relationship. My girlfriend (who is a beautiful black woman) and I have been dating for over 4 years now. And,I must say that it is pretty rare. I'm full filipino and I am not a weak minded person. My father is not a weak minded person, just to reply back to the comment I read about ones supervisor... don't worry i wasn't offended. I just wanted to say that, all races have weak men in general and maybe you have come accross the epitime of weak men and he happened to be filipino. As a matter of fact, back in the philipines women is still somewhat of an inferior gender... sad but true. I'm totally against that.Anyways, I would just like to share that I'm a filipino who doesn't see color. As long as we have things in common and we get along...I'm the type of person who goes out and get what I want. I am from California and if you live in Northern california... you will see that there are more asian men or filipino men dating black women...By the way, i'm not bragging or anything but I'm one asian that can dance. Much love...

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  34.   Ali says:
    Posted: 29 Jun 08

    I Absolutly think an asian man and african american women should start dating. Asian men are smart, funny sophisticated , and very interesting. SO I AGREE WITH THIS 100 PERCENT!!!!!!!

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  35.   eboniheat says:
    Posted: 25 Jun 08

    I served in the US Army as a single black female and spent about 4.5 years in Seoul, Korea. Here is my take on the AM/BW couple...Asian men are very traditional and tend to only marry Asian women. But they do find Black woman extremely appealing, and extremely intimidating. Everyday I worked the nicest elderly Korean man you ever wanted to meet. Mr Yi was extremely courteous, respectful and everyday he told me how beautiful I was. One day we were having a casual conversation and again he commented on the lovliness of my skin, so I jokingly asked me if I could marry his son. He grew very quiet, but told me quite firmly, "you are beautiful woman, but my son must marry Korean girl, never black girl" It shocked me to hear my dear old nice friend say this, but he added "I know you are a good woman, but a good Korean boy can only marry a good Korean girl"...tradition rules most Asian cultures. But there were younger Korean guys that were very open to dating black females, yet again, only dating. Since I have been back in the states, I see attractive Asian men, we make eye contact, smile but they seem very intimidated and never speak. I find Asian men attractive, sensitive, and sexy. I hope more will open themselves up to interracial relationships.

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  36.   A. says:
    Posted: 25 Jun 08

    Say it with me now, ladies. DANIEL HENNEY. Do a google search on this man. He's quite possibly the sexiest man alive.

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  37.   LatinLuxury says:
    Posted: 24 Jun 08

    When I was a college student, I had developed this huge crush on a Japanese guy in one of my courses. We eventually became friends, and I found out he secretly admired me also! Although, we both were feeling each other, the timing was off and nothing ever happened between us. The point is...everyone should just be open about who or what they want-then pursue but oftentimes fear gets in the way. Asian men are gorgeous, funny, smart, and usually successful...they should not be afriad to approach women outside of their race. It is fear of rejection that often keep asian men on the sidelines. Black females on the other hand, have the shorter end of the stick. The media dogs my Sistas and the world has become in a sense 'scarred' of black beauties. In addition, I find a lot of my black females friends are insecure about themselves, which is a direct result from what the media's idea of beauty is. Just because your not light skinned or have long hair, doesn't mean you're not beautiful. In fact, black woman have an advantage over all-their killer bodies! So don't stay in the shadows sistas!

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  38.   charmyluv says:
    Posted: 16 Jun 08

    I live in the caribbean where there is alot of asian people, and we are mostly black here. I dont see alot of asian male or female wit black men or women we just dont find them attractive. well asian people here tend to stick to thier own they dont want to mix wit black, black dont want to mix wit asian. i think though that WHITE MEN is very handsome, smart and sexy no doubt about that i prefer white men and thats wat i am attracted to.

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  39.   lilian93 says:
    Posted: 09 Jun 08

    hello, I'm an BW, of age 14; I know I'm a bit young, but yes: AMBW couples r hard to find. And whenever I do find interracial relationships, I smile to myself and think: "That could be me..." And it CAN be me! If other races (and the Black race) are willing to see past the irrelevant color of skin; there would be less married couples. I too, am interested in Asian men. My dream is to move to a place heavily populated by AMBW couples. ASian men are quite the fancy; and I do not see myself with a black man anytime soon. I've never been asked out, and I know I'm not bad-looking; but it really hurts when I find out the guys I like arent into me; but into their own race. I'm in a interracial romance book fad; and everyday I get a bit of hope for the next day. I pray that my Mr. Right is in college waiting for me...lol. :D -Lilian-Ann

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  40.   Nandi says:
    Posted: 01 Jun 08

    des_pres? You sound like a babbling fool...Man up and stop hiding behind the skirts of Black Women... Back to topic...There is probably alot of reasons why there is a small percentage of interracial relationship between Asian men and Black women...I don't do stereotype...However although the percentage is small, the actual dating of these two groups have been going on for sometimes... I do not see what difference does it makes...I have dated an Asian men before...did not run into any of those stereotypes... But, I do agree hollywood/media do not really cast them in a range of characters or even in everyday commericals...So for some, there is nothing but stereotypes...How sad indeed

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  41.   Bajanna says:
    Posted: 01 Jun 08

    A very important point to mention is the roles of Asian men and Black women in their specific societies. If you look at the history of their backgrounds you can see why these two groups represent the smaller percentage of inter racial relationships. It boils down really to stereotypes that people hold on to.They are usually to afraid to try something new that could potentially lead them to happiness. However it's just a matter of time before they catch on.

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  42.   Member says:
    Posted: 26 May 08

    I'm a black woman married to a half Japanese, half Mexican American man. I think it's pretty uncommon in the US, but we are very happy, and we get along great with each others' parents.

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  43.   monianne says:
    Posted: 22 May 08

    I had a black friend who married a White/Japanese man. My first college bf was East Indian American (first generation). My 2nd interacial relationship was with a white/Chinese man. My East Indian male friend dated a black South African woman and married an African American woman. I have been surrounded and part of more Asian man/ Black woman couplings that Black/White. I have never thought of any particular ethnicity as being unattractive. Men are men....

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  44.   eramus says:
    Posted: 18 May 08

    Comment by Starthai on 10 September 2007: Hi, I would like to say maybe there are just more black women who are not attracted to Asian men vise versa. I know I’m definitely not attracted are interested in Asian men I think the only Asian man I thought was ever hot is Jet Li, but as a whole I’m not too attracted to the Asian culture I just don’t think there good looking (only a very small %) to me. Sorry if I offended any one to each his own. Starthi: You have every right to date who you want but try not to stereotype people. I am a Black male and I dated women from various countries and cultures (Russia,China, Taiwan, Germany, England, Japan etc..) However, my last three girlfrieds were from China and Taiwan. Am I attracted to only these type of women? I do not think so. It is the value system of education and family they bring to the table that gets me going. No, I am not saying non-Asian women have no values, but I am saying I prefer there values of close knit families, respect to elders and avoid credit. Starthai, you look a little Asian to me. You need to google "For example, the tenth census of Louisiana showed, among the 489 Chinese in the state, 28 had spouses present. Only 3 of those had China-born wives. Of the remaining, 4 married mulatto women, 12 married Negro women, 8 married white women, and 1 married an American-born Chinese.1" Many black women in the past married Chinese men in this country. Take Care,

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  45.   eramus says:
    Posted: 18 May 08

    Comment by Starthai on 10 September 2007: Hi, I would like to say maybe there are just more black women who are not attracted to Asian men vise versa. I know I’m definitely not attracted are interested in Asian men I think the only Asian man I thought was ever hot is Jet Li, but as a whole I’m not too attracted to the Asian culture I just don’t think there good looking (only a very small %) to me. Sorry if I offended any one to each his own. Starthi: You have every right to date who you want but try not to stereotype people. I am a Black male and I dated women from various countries and cultures (Russia,China, Taiwan, Germany, England, Japan etc..) However, my last three girlfrieds were from China and Taiwan. Am I attracted to only these type of women? I do not think so. It is the value system of education and family they bring to the table that gets me going. No, I am not saying non-Asian women have no values, but I am saying I prefer there values of close knit families, respect to elders and avoid credit. Starthai, you look a little Asian to me. You need to check out this website. http://www.topix.com/forum/afam/TBEH5VAME8PARJ92B Many black women in the past married Chinese men in this country. Take Care,

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  46.   Member says:
    Posted: 17 May 08

    I like blogs like this, because I am attracted to asian men. Just because someone looks different dosen't mean you have to treat them that way. I think they are cute.(Tony Jaa,Takeshi Kanshiro, Jet and Jackie, etc.)I do think it tends to get a bit stereotyped or even if another race is interested, they don't say because they think that the other won't be interested. I once thought an asian guy was cute but he only dated white women. :( Oh well don't know what you are missin!:)

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  47.   ELEVAT1ON says:
    Posted: 13 May 08

    This is a great topic. I've been questioning this for some time now myself. I actually found this site because I was so curious about what other people had to say in regards to this subject, that I googled "Asian Men and Black Women couples". Apparently I'm not the only one who noticed the rarity of this type of union. I think there are many different reasons why you hardly see this matchup, but the main one is that asian men are generally viewed in a certain light. US Media is to blame for that. For the most part, whenever you see an asian guy on screen, he's usually placed into a very stereotypical category. Whether it's as a Martial Arts master, A super geeky braniac, or a random old man with a heavy accent, the stereotype is almost always one that does not reflect asian men in a way that makes them appealing to the average american woman.

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  48.   lilyphenix says:
    Posted: 11 May 08

    Hi, do you know about this movie? http://popcultureshock.com/akiras/ It will show at De Anza College in Cupertino, CA Thursday May 15 @ 4:30 PM in FORUM 1, followed by a discussion with movie director Joe Doughrity about interracial communication and stereotypes. Please support the event by helping spread the word. Thanks!

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  49.   AznKing says:
    Posted: 07 May 08

    One more thing... my good friend "Big Country" always tells me that he's attracted to white women mainly because he grew up in Alabama surrounded by mostly black women. He says he was so used to black women that he lost the taste for them. He said the same thing about grits.

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  50.   AznKing says:
    Posted: 07 May 08

    Too many stereotypes.... too many assumptions. I'm a Vietnamese-American who was (get this... and it's more common than you think) adopted by white people. I grew up in a multi-cultural environment. I'm like, 6'0. I was always one of the best athletes and yeah, ok, I was good at math. I've dated just about every race of woman there is but I prefer black women. dark-skinned, light-skinned, thick, skinny, dreads, braids, weave (braids most of all cuz you know, when you're hittin it from the back they're nice to pull on, but I digress), all of the above. To me, they're sexy as hell!!! Most of my friends are black and it's funny cause when we hit the club, they're chasing the thick white women (which I think are NOT attractive) while I'm tryin to holla at the sexy black ones. The virility of asian men is DEFINITELY downplayed in Hollywood for what reason I do not know. Trust me we can put it down as good as anyone and I don't know about anyone else, but this package here gets compliments all the time. Open your minds and expand your circle acquaintances.

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