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Black women on interracial dating

Posted by Ria, 22 May

black women interracial datingPeople usually have different views when it comes to interracial dating. I'm sure you too have your own. How does seeing people of the opposite race and opposite sex holding hands on the streets make you feel? Angry, happy, envious?

I was once having lunch with my truly black girls at a restaurant when a black woman and a white man walked on by. One of them went,“Let other people do it but personally, I cannot date a white man. White men date black women because they look down upon them. I'm not about to kiss some pink ass᾿ :roll: Yeah… I almost chocked on hearing those words.

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According to studies carried out recently, black women are less likely to engage in interracial relationships as opposed to their male counterparts. John Tierney, the author of the survey concluded, "It's not that white men are more reluctant to date non-whites, it's that black women are less willing to date someone of another race." Well the video below makes us see why.

Men are generally willing to date someone of another race, but women are more reluctant, especially African-American women. The researcher also found that women of different races generally agreed with one another in rating the various men’s attractiveness. However they were less willing to date a man of another race even when he was just as attractive as a man of their own race.

So, does this make interracial dating acceptance somewhat a gender issue? Will I be right to conclude as per this study that it’s not just black women who are reluctant to date interracially but all women in general? And if so, what factors influence this reluctance in women then?

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306 responses to "Black women on interracial dating"

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  1.   Cali says:
    Posted: 24 Mar 08

    Comment by cecil on 10 June 2007: I’ve found in my experience that black women seem to be more insecure about themselves, because of beauty images in the media. It seems like no one except black women these days will vocally, openly oppose interracial marriage. They seem to feel as though white women are ’stealing’ their men. Yet at the same time, black women will launch into tirades on how the black man is no good, unreliable, and a dog. This creates a morass of hostility that I as a black male find highly unattractive, and I just don’t want to get involved with people that are so negative. I’m always more at ease with white women who (generally) are non-hostile and are more likely to have their lives together. Well, reading your comments and looking at your photo makes me feel that Black women won't be missing much ;-)

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  2.   Chrissy says:
    Posted: 19 Mar 08

    I have dated outside of my race my entire adult life, and I am unsure if I will continue to do so. I am ready to get married and start a family. In the past my most serious relationship was with a Southern WM and I never really felt valued by this man. Though I cannot say that this was because of my race, I certainly felt that it played a part. I dated an Indian man who was madly in love with me and very attentive and generous towards me, but he was very controlling and quite insecure. I would like to become involved in a serious relationship, but Black men avoid me like the plague and I am not sure I want to marry outside of my race as I beleive my being AA may present problems in future. I still find WM attractive but as I get older it gets harder for me to ignore my AA heritage, something I used to do with ease. That's probably why my WM boyfirends disrespected that aspect of my being. Just a little confused and weary. It's weird I used to be so open minded, now I just feel jaded.

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  3.   mysticman58 says:
    Posted: 13 Mar 08

    Me id rather date a black lady then a white because black women seem to know what they want , there are not into the games white ladies like to play .This is just me and what ive gone through dating in my own race .I come from a family where most of my nephews and nieces are all mixed , black,indian, mexican .My nephews have found better women outside there race then in it.I was married to a white lady who left me not only for another man but also had a girlfriend.

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  4.   2ute4u says:
    Posted: 13 Mar 08

    Wow, Dan, I'm sorry for your loss,and the brother who says that black women are combative towards him...I want to say to you that, this may be the stereotypical black female and I resent your comments...half of you brothers don't even have enough confidence to approach a fine, intelligent, strong black female... because most of us is more educated than most black male...on account of this behaviour, when white males approach us,then the brothers are up in arms about it.

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  5.   Sxybrwnsuga says:
    Posted: 13 Mar 08

    I think most black women prefer to date, marry and have kids with black men. There is nothing wrong with people not wanting to date outside their race. Just like I believe most asian, white, and hispanic women prefer to date, marry, and have kids with their perspective men.

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  6.   Gen says:
    Posted: 02 Feb 08

    To respond to X's comments.. Brother, I feel your pain, but here this from a strong black woman..Maybe you are not one of the guilty black men out there, but you need to listen to your brothers comments and see how they hurt the black woman. I grew in a society that have black men degrading raping and disrespecting their own..(just like whites..it makes no difference in terms of race). At 36 years old, the nicest men to me have been white.. And to add insult to injury, my own black men have told me that my skin is too dark for them, that I cant give them a light skin baby. Yet these men go around preaching black consciousness, about sticking to your race.. I did that and didnt get an ounce of happiness from my own. I dated two different black men who at the end of the day dated me because I am intelligent, keeps a good house , educated and make them look good with their business colleagues since I can hold a conversation. While dating me they look for their "brown or light skin black women" and "yes" the white ones too.Its nice for their other peers to see them with a "browning" because it make them look good.. A black guy told me that the only way I get a committment from a black guy is to "lighten" my complexion. I say, I know myself and proud of my rich chocolate color. Take me as I am or leave me alone. Now my whiteboyfriends seem to be first attracted to the color of my skin. They absolutely love it. That is the first sign of accepting me.. I turned down my first proposal from a white mean 10 years ago because I allowed my people to tell me that it is wrong to marry interacial. Now, I know better, its whats best for me. My current white boyfriend shows me off to all his friends, so proud of me. We have a good thing going and I will not let racism come between us especially from a black man who is only noticing me because I am on the arms of a a white man!

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  7.   DDan1967 says:
    Posted: 02 Feb 08

    Well said Renee, I wanted to address that subject, your first 3 lines. But didn't know how to bring it up that couldn't be misinterpreted. Bravo and thank you for doing it for me. Doug

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  8.   renee says:
    Posted: 01 Feb 08

    ok, in response to X, why is it when a black woman and white man get together slavery is introduced into the conversation?? we can not blame all current white people for what their ancestors did.!!! the truth is black woman have better natural bodies than white women.. black women have natural curves and a natural sexuality that cant be duplicated..the white female body in a natural state is without form, without curves.. so of course white men are attracted to us sexually, even during slavery times.. i love black men, but they can be very selfish.. its ok if black men date outside their race, but if a beautiful black woman do the same thing, its wrong and slavery this and slavery that, all because you want us to yourselves and have all the women of other races too.

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  9.   blackchickUK says:
    Posted: 17 Jan 08

    As a young Birtish black woman born and living in the UK, I would like to add my opinion and what I have observed on interracial relationships between White men and Black women. I believe that a large number white men in the UK percieve black women as hard work, unattractive, not beautiful etc. These stereotypes are born out of racism and ignorance. The UK wants to prentend that racism doesn't exists and that everybody is open minded but from the comments and feelings expressed by British white men towards black women in general- the UK has a long way to go in terms of race. Another dimension to white men's view of black women not being attractive is the beauty standard. Just like the States, the British also have their ideal beauty, which is the English rose. The Englsih rose is usually blonde hair, blue eyes and rosy cheek. This leaves many black women excluded from this ideal. I also notice that white American are more open about their attraction to black American women whereas the British are reserved and are more concern about what society thinks and if their partner fits into the 'beauty ideal'. I would like to ask the UK white men - why so many white men are not attract to black women and their resons?

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  10.   gulltfontaine says:
    Posted: 09 Jan 08

    I'm a white dude in east london, & i'm in love with a girl, who happens to be black...BUT WHO GIVES A FU€K!!! SHE'S HOT!!!! BOMCHICKA-WA-WA!!!! HOORAY FOR LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  11.   DDan1967 says:
    Posted: 09 Jan 08

    A very interesting thread in general. I came here to learn more about the subject in an effort to find out how racist attitudes affected interracial couples. I'm a white man that is recently engaged to marry a Beautiful black woman. (Now I will agree that beauty is in the eye of the beholder) I agree with many here that it's about the person not the appearance. As our relationship grew she repeatedly questioned me with worries about the color issue. I'm from a college town in Wisconsin and have served over 20 years in the military. I was raised to believe and have always believed that it's about who a person is, not what they look like. And through my service I have worked with and had friendships with many people of different races and beliefs. I could care less if she was white, black, yellow, green or purple; slim, athletic or overweight; etc. I care about who she is and what she means to me. The fact that she is an attractive and fit woman is a pleasant bonus, but I wouldn't be with her if she wasn't a wonderful person that filled my heart with joy. Now I have to respond to X above. Specifically his Question #7: I believe the true question is; Why does any anyone keep quiet and allow another person to use and abuse them? Now a general response to X. Try living in the present not the past. It's true that terrible things have been done by many people in the past. We can't change history, we will hopefully learn from it though. Just my 2 cents worth. Doug

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  12.   outpass35 says:
    Posted: 04 Jan 08

    I have dated outside my race Since High School and I don't let what other people think effect me

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  13.   X says:
    Posted: 04 Jan 08

    I WILL BE YOUR OPPONENT I am a young African American male. I have never dated out of my race. I have no interested in it. It's not because I'm small minded. It's because I know who I am unlike most blacks in America. Love who I am and know that it is he that have made us and no we ourselves. I had to get that off my chest.Now here is my thoughts on Black women interracial dating. My Mother always told me when I was a little boy. Respect black women, love black women and so forth. Black women are strong and intelligent. That's true but what my poor Mother failed to mention is that there are black women who hate black men and black people who look just like them. They use any excuse to down play black men. that's wrong. It's very wrong. In fact it's down right disgusting. There is some myth that white men and black women are just getting together. That's not true. Whit men have been having their way with black women for centuries. That's a long a long time. White men had black women in slavery then. Their having black women now. So instead of going forward were going back. That's pathetic. I have had to listen to ignorance pollute the minds of young black children. Like having a different race solves your problems. It only creates more in a since that our loyalty to each other is basically non existent. Black Women Black women you need to know your history. You need to know how and what your role was in slavery. It was to fulfill the white man sexually when white women would not. White women were never at the mercy of their husbands sexually because they had black women. White women stayed quiet while black women were being raped and told their daughters a white man still loves a white women more that the black slave girl. So white men still saved face amongst white women yet kept black women around while they were in heat. Black women are sexual tools to a white man and that's the way they made it not me. If you choose a white man. Except that reality about white men. Stop making up lies because you don't want a black man. Except that they only want you for sex and your bodies nothing else. Also know they are not equipped to support you emotionally because they can't help you with the problems and the traps they set for you in the first place. Also I have a few questions concerning black women. Question #1 Why do all black women believe a white man who separated black women from every other nationality of women sexually believe a white man is so great. What has he done for Black women as a whole. Question #2 Now that black women are dating outside their race. Can black me write books, get on talk show and complain about how black women are no good. KEEP IN MIND THE DAMAGE DONE TO BLACK MEN. Who did not partake (SUCH AS MYSELF). IT'S ONLY FAIR. QUESTION #3 Looks wise how come other races of men get to choose the prettiest black women. Question #4 Why do black women down grade. They get upset when a black athlete doesn't want a black women. Then they say they should go out of their race and they get a regular making the same as them or less. Question #5 Some black women think they can say very negative things about black men publicly. Then build up the confidence of a white man by saying positive things that aren't true. Why??? Question #6 Why do you think a white man will choose you over a white woman. Question #7 Why do black women keep quiet when white men use and abuse them. Rape and murder them. Then still keep talking negatively about about black men. Someone please answer all the questions to the best of your ability. I am not saying all black women, just the ones who believe and practice this way of thinking.

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  14.   Adnan says:
    Posted: 15 Nov 07

    I the eyes of God the Creator we are all equal true Love has no color but the color of love. Black is beautifulin my eyes so My Black woman's love is a gift from God who created Balck and white and all that is in between.

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  15.   Fkoi says:
    Posted: 05 Nov 07

    Wow! What a hornet's nest this topic stirred up. That's good to see in some ways. I don't see a value in argument for argument's sake (save it for the debating society, nor do I find blanket statements based on race, gender, etc. to be particularly illuminating. Neither lend themselves to communication and understanding. In fact they tend to inhibit free exchange. Personal opinon, when expressed as that, can. Here's mine. I completely understand why a Black woman in America and in many other countries would be hesitant to date a White man. White men, as a stereotypical class have historically been the oppressor. There is also the factor of fear of the unknown. In the States, our version of apartheid was in place, enforced and largely accepted until the middle of the last century. It still exists in the physical layout of our cities and in the attitudes of some of our people. There are still a lot of people who have never had any real, meaningful and open exchanges with someone of another race. When people who carry that fear of the unknown raise families the fear is passed on actively or passively. I have been the victim of subtle and not so subtle racism as I walk arm-in-arm with a woman. Stares, comments and mutterings are not uncommon. It is unfair, hurtful and a little scary even in NYC where I live. As long as we are making dating determinations based on race, there are going to be problems. Some people are not attracted to blondes (and of course that doesn't carry the same historic weight) but as long as we make our choices based on political and/or racial lines, we carry on the ugly tradition. When it becomes purely aethetics, as I truly believe it has for me, we have come a long way.

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  16.   Member says:
    Posted: 05 Nov 07

    That's an interesting finding. I really have no idea why black women would be more reluctant to date interracially. Maybe it has something to do with society allowing men more freedoms and choices in general. I don't know. It'll be interesting to see what others think.

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  17.   latty says:
    Posted: 27 Oct 07

    I must say that there is very interesting writing here, but the last love story written by Dan really touched my heart. I am glad that he got the chance to marry and love the person he wanted even through it was short lived. I will pray for him and his loss.I have done grief counseling over the years and if Dan needs any counseling I will be happy to assist. My prayers to him.

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  18.   Jan says:
    Posted: 27 Oct 07

    I saw this webiste and it writes in a frank refreshing way about her experiences as a BW married to a white man. I love her blog. Its a lot better than most out there. http://blackwomenwhomarrywhitemen.wordpress.com/

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  19.   mossimo says:
    Posted: 16 Oct 07

    Some very thought provoking posts going on here. I wish I had fought my parents when I was younger as well. Perhaps things would be much different today.

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  20.   Kyla says:
    Posted: 16 Oct 07

    Oh man Dan, when you said that about your wife being killed, my eyes literally starting getting watery. It is always the good people in life that get taken away from us. May God Bless you.

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  21.   Dan says:
    Posted: 04 Aug 07

    I have lived here in Columbus Ohio all my 31 years of life. I was brought up to not date out of my race, my Dad seemed to hate black people in general. He was a very successful man in the business sense and an attractive man to boot, had a lot of white color friends and such. I inherited many of my fathers traits except for one. The first girl I ever went on a date with was black. I was 15 at the time and when my Dad found out he said he would chop of my &^#* if I continued to date her. As the love life story goes, I dated only white women until something amazing happened. A women called my house by mistake, and she had a beautiful voice… sounded white to me and she never told me her color. We developed a relationship on the phone and the entire time I thought she was white. We finally met and I was shook by her beauty. She has got to be the most beautiful women I have ever seen in all my life. I knew that my family circle would hate me dating her, but by this time, I was in love with her. In all my life I have never loved a women such as her. We never fought, always respected each other, had the best sexual relationship in all my experiences. I married that women and against my family’s wishes in doing so. We were married for less then one year before disaster struck and she was killed by a drunk driver. It’s been nearly two years since she was killed, and yet every night my eyes swell thinking about her…My point is this… Love has no limit, it’s real as flesh is real, and when your in it, nothing matters but to keep it alive. Color has very little to do with it because I loved that dark beautiful black women. And for the black women out their who think that white men are soft, you’re mistaken. We are the most power hungry type of man there is.

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  22.   Jade74 says:
    Posted: 02 Aug 07

    WOW!!!! Great comment Mike.

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  23.   mike says:
    Posted: 02 Aug 07

    I'm a WM who married a beautiful African American Women. I love her inside and out. Her skin color and hair are extremely atractive to me. We live in Mississippi so sometimes we run in to bigots and idiots from both races, but God has blessed us and our children. As far as WM being followers... pure trash. Are WM attracted to BW? Good, strong men are attracted to good, strong women. I'm telling you race has zero to do with it. I was raised with the ideas of european beauty but when I fell in love with a woman who happened to be African American she became my standard of beauty. Gold standard. God has blessed me!

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  24.   lhb says:
    Posted: 31 Jul 07

    I am a married white male. But, as a lot of men stuck in a rut with my wife, I have started dating outside my marriage. I tried dating a black woman and discovered that I really am attracted to them. Now, I only look at black women and flirt and go out with black women. I wish now I had married a black woman instead, but that's something I can't change. But, I have learned that black women seem to know better what they want and just seem to be more fun to be with in general. Not to mention, they are built better, in general, than white women.

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  25.   Ryan says:
    Posted: 29 Jul 07

    no, I could only date a black women that believes in the same doctrine that I believe. A christian can't be both buddhist and christian the beliefs aren't the same. I don't believe in reincarnation or karma. I believe in god's judgement and sanctification as well as the God head. 1john 5:7 for there are three that bear record in heaven the Father, the Word, and the Holy Ghost and these three are one. I also believe that we are all sinners in need of a saviour and only jesus can save us from our sins. I couldnt be with a buddhist women cause I could never serve buddha nor believe in any of the teaching. Maybe friends but nothing more.

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  26.   RayneDelay says:
    Posted: 29 Jul 07

    Ryan would you consider a Buddhist Black woman? How about one that is both a Buddhist and a Christian?

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  27.   Ryan says:
    Posted: 29 Jul 07

    that because its not the building that makes up the body of believers you can have church at your own home. Jesus said where there are two or three gathered together in my name there am i in the midst of them. A lot of people go to church for the wrong reasons. I've met more worldly women at church then other places. Were living in the last days as the bible says a time where they will be lovers of self more than god and in this generation it is hard to find someone that is real. I'm not conceited im just telling you what others say about me. I preach on the streets and feed the hungry as well as give studies wherever god's spirit leads me. A lot of women run when they see me preach or pray for the sick or take out my oil and pray over the sick. A lot of people claim to be christian but are they really going out and doing what jesus did?? The church isnt what is going to save you it is jesus thats why it is written work out your own salvation with much fear and trembling. It's once apppointed to all men to die then the judgement. God Bless.

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  28.   Member says:
    Posted: 29 Jul 07

    Hello, Ryan. Ok, Brad Pitt/ Matt Damon looks AND a fundamental Christian?!?! Ryan, you're sounding too good to be true right now, haha!! That's like....perfect! I'm surprised that being a Christian would be a problem for you as there seems to be more black women in churches than any other race.

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  29.   ryan says:
    Posted: 29 Jul 07

    Hello loves white men I enjoyed your posting to see what goes on for a black woman that is attracted to white males. I myself am european and russian and attract more women out of of my own race. I'm more attracted to black women than european women. My problem isn't my looks or personality im a very good looking guy and get approached and meet all kinds of women except european women. My problem isn't so much a racial barrier. The problem I have is finding someone that want's to commit and follow god whole heartedly as myself. I am a fundamental christian and because I have hollywood good looks like a Brad pitt or matt damon. It's hard to meet a strong fundamental christian women. If you lived in my area and love the lord I would defenitely want to get to know you.

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  30.   Member says:
    Posted: 29 Jul 07

    Hello. I am 23 year old black girl. May be young, but I have been more attracted to white men since I can remember. I remember watching movies and always being attracted to the white guy isntead of the black guy. Even in school, in my area, I was attracted to the shy white guys as a pose to the loud, dominating black boys in the school. White men turn me on so bad!! When I go out, men of all races tend to find my attractive; judged from the smiles, and the stares when I walk down the street. Having said all this, I have never had a proper date with anyone. And I think most of this comes from the fact that i'm insecure and also from the fact that i'm starting to buy into societies way of viewing black women as not attractive. I do find that some white men do find black women attractive but are afraid to go there. For example, on many occasions I have noticed white men eyeing me up but as soon as I attempt to flirt with them they turn their head. It's as if both white men and black women are afraid to go for what's seen as "untrendy." I do believe that most of what's going on is down to trend. In the 70's when blondes were dubbed the most beautiful-blondes were all that men wanted. When brunettes began to be considered just as beautiful-more men started to date brunettes. P diddy started the trend by dating j-lo and now we're seeing more and more Latinas with black men...etc...to me sometimes it's seems like people just follow trends. About black men dating white women, it doesn't bother me as I myself love white men, but what bothers me about it is the reasons black men give for going to white women. "Oh black women are too demanding, too.." etc etc, it bugs me as it stereotypes us and could lead some other races to say"well, if their own men say this about them it must be true" therefore they will be reluctant to go there. What else bothers me about black men is their arrogance when seen out with a white women. As if they're the centre of attention because they are with white women. I hate the way they seem to look down on black women in the street as if digusted by them . And I also hate when they show off with white women, as if to make the black women jealous. I often give them a look of "get a clue!!! not every black women is jealous or mad that you're with women" and then I stare at a white man passing by just to let it sink in that I don't give a damn about the person on his arm!!I don't hate black men honest. Their arrogance and greediness when it comes to the selection of woman is what bugs me. Anyway, I love white men. Hopefully soon there will be that black woman, white man relationship in the media that will change the way society views things, and will be less afraid.

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  31.   Peaches210 says:
    Posted: 25 Jul 07

    some one made a posting about black women and inter-race dating....I think the issue have to do more with location and city. Growing up in houston Texas I saw lots of mix race couples. but when it came to black women I mostly saw black with white. but now living in San Antonio texas, it seems that everyone here is into the whole latin/latino scean... but thats due to the fact that most people who live in san antonio are of latino background. Now when living in Houston I was more prone to date black or Latino, but now living in a mostly latino city I now prefer to date more asian american males. Now when I went off to college in east texas at a school that was mostly white.....I dated White men.....I think its all about location..and the choices that are out there

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  32.   Ryan says:
    Posted: 25 Jul 07

    sure thing if i lived in russia. I live in the states i just have some ancestry ties to russia because my great grandfather was born there. Me personally ive never been there. im just a mut born in the unites states of european and russian descent. If your into russian men dont be shy and bashfull when you go to russia a lot of non black men find black women very sexy and classy and I happen to be one that likes black women.

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  33.   Tugela says:
    Posted: 20 Jul 07

    Hello Ryan from Russia, I'm planning a trip to Russia wanna hook up?

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  34.   Member says:
    Posted: 18 Jul 07

    I am a black woman and I support the show "Interracial Love a search for a black queen". Brothers have been trying something new for along time. Its time a sister gets treated like a Queen. If I was single I would be the first in line for this fine whiteboy to wine and dine. I saw the guy and his sons on the myspace page for the show interracial love. I tell you what that is one beautiful family any sister would be lucking to meet this white man. much love Jen W

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  35.   ryan says:
    Posted: 18 Jul 07

    I dont understand why other races aren't in the mix its always a white and black thing. What do you define as white or black? No one is one hundred percent pure, I myself am russian, italian, spanish, irish, and a bunch of other stuff. But if I date a black woman society only frowns and makes comments about her being with a white boy especially if she isnt light but dark skinned. I have never dated a european woman. Mainly mixed women and never had any funny stares or problems. When I started dating black women I realized how society breaks down everything to black and white. This is the very reason i was afraid in junior high and high school to date black women. Secretly, I was very attracted to black women and have turned a lot down till 3 years ago. I believe everyone should be open to all races you never know what you could be missing out on.

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  36.   Member says:
    Posted: 17 Jul 07

    Did anyone here the news on the radio show last night. I was going to listen to them interview Larissa aka Bootz from charm school and instead they interviewed the white guy that is doing the new show "Interracial Love a Search for His Black Queen". This whiteboy was of the chain he was more real about his love for a sister then some brother. The thing that really hit home is I went to the shows myspace page he has two beautiful sons by a black woman. I was like what! I looked at his photos this and said to myself this whiteboy has some flavor and vibe. How he talked with passion in his heart about black people in general was different coming from a white man however I welcome it with open arms. Its two bad a sister is taken or I would go on the show. lol. Here is the link to there page. I guess there is talk about VH1 and Larissa hosting it? I don't know. Much Love Whiteboy from New England find you and you cute sons your black queen. Kesha Watson

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  37.   Member says:
    Posted: 14 Jul 07

    GREAT NEW REALITY SHOW "INTERRACIAL LOVE A SEARCH FOR A BLACK QUEEN" I AM THE CO-CREATOR OF THIS NEW REALITY SHOW IF YOU WANT TO LEARN MORE HIT MY PAGE UP! I want to show much love to everyone on my friend list from the women of NC A&T, Go Aggies. I am really working hard working on a reality show about Tobias he is the first on my friends list. This show is about a men love and respect for a black woman. Tobias is raising his two sons Marcus and Zach, I have been pitching this idea to Mark Cronin of 51minds entertainment, Sean Rankin the producer of College Hill. I ask to show the support of having the first Black all women cast on a search for love reality show. I am also asking you to go to show some love to Tobias and his sons on his page if you support this project. Click on my friends list and checkout these two beautiful young black men. Pass this on to all your friend and feel free to go to the search icon on myspace and do a search for Mark Cronin and Sean Rankine. Let these men know how all the sister and brothers feel about a black women being treated as the queen she is. This man Tobias is ready for himself and his two sons to find their Black Queen. Much Love Latasha

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  38.   Member says:
    Posted: 09 Jul 07

    Interestingly, I was part of an extended conversation about interracial dating 2 days ago. I am a Black female and I was conversing with a Black couple who reside in Atlanta, Georgia. Atlanta has become a city flooded with homosexual men - a great deal of them Black men. I commented to the wife that based on the lack of Black men who are willing to marry, able to marry or desire to marry, Black women had better come to terms with the thought that they may have to date outside of our race or they will be spending many a Friday night alone. I know that some schools of thought believe that the "Black male shortage" is a fallacy and that it a lie perpetuated by the media. Alas, that is not so. First of all, there are always more female babies born than male. Secondly, an inordinate amount of Black men died in Vietnam and they would have been the fathers of the men who would now be between the ages of 25 and 50. They never made it back and many were so young, they had not started making babies before they left. Fast forward to high rates of drug usage, male homosexuality, high (and often unfair)imprisonment of Black men and high unemployment rates one will clearly see that the Black male shortage is not some idea conjured by the predominately owned White media moguls. I have dated one White man and I am currently best friends (platonic) with a White man. I am here to proclaim a man is a man regardless of the color of his skin. I broke up with the White man I dated for over a year because I grew tired of his cheapness. I wasn't looking for him to take care of me, however I did grown tired of dining at Taco Bell or McDonalds :)). The young White man that I am friends with is very precious to me. I don't think I have ever known a man I could literally talk for hours with and never repeat the same thing or never grow tired of talking with him. People's mind and hearts are the same "color." However, I do offer two words of caution to Black women who are trying to decide if they should date interracially. Make sure you are dating the man because you enjoy his company and really want to be with him. Do not date a White man or any man just because his skin is not Black. That is extremely unfair to the man. No one wants to be dated for that reason. People want to be appreciated for themselves - not for the color of their skin. Lastly, be prepared for the revolt of family, friends and nasty stares from strangers. Interestingly, the nastiest stares I encountered were from White women. Go figure. Carmin Wharton, The Relationship Teacher Author, "Lessons Learned: While Looking for Love in All the Wrong Faces" http://www.carminwharton.com http://blog.carminwharton.com

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  39.   rubie_ru says:
    Posted: 20 Jun 07

    why i love balck women i can't completly explain. i'm ingauaged to a black woman who is a queen to me and treats me as asking to .i think as far as proweness sexual performance ect. if it be hieghtened it's due to what our brain precieves just the same as our racial choice. but i've dated white woman who i've been as deeply involved with had great sex white and married one. my 1st interacial incounter was her 1st with a white man too and it was toridly hot but later we both laughed outloud how there was very little difference in the mechanics of sex in the dark it was in the light and in our minds and that's where all great sex is experienced. in ending from what i've heard and can attest to myself is white men fear rejection from a black woman as well, so it looks like a mexician stand off woman.i'll be ever greatful to that 1st black woman reaching around the back of her black male married boyfriend and taking my hand in hers. we had a very intimate relationship for over a year which i don't believe either of us will forget and that's 40 yrs ago .blk women i've know recieve more criticsim from there family and neighbors just as i've seen this in the philly neighborhood my regal black queen lives in, since i'm there quite a bit of the time. fortunitly the family loves me and her children refer to me as thier step father already so it can work to day if we want it to.one last thing on black woman's beauty although there are beautiful black actresses some are the result of interacial couples i am most impressed aroused drawn to take notice of a more africian features and i know all africans are not real dark the blacker the better. were all different what can i say i've said toooo much already

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  40.   Olympian says:
    Posted: 19 Jun 07

    I find women of color superior to caucasion women in many aspects. Black women are sexier, passionate, sultry, and very loving when treated as a Lady. In my experiance I find Ebony Women more open to interacial relations. As a hopeless romantic the attention and adoration she deserves are not met within her ethnicity. This is what I am told. When she is treated like a Deity, it really doesn't matter the color. It's the man!

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  41.   laugh_sailor says:
    Posted: 19 Jun 07

    The increased level of awareness and sensitiity to issues of respect is something I share with many black women, making a very comfortable, accepting personal space. This is only possible when we both give respect as much as desire it, requiring compassion, maturity, introspection and a fundamental kindness. I think people who date interracially generally are more accepting and sympathetic and seeing people from another race triggers these traits, so I can see how black guys get the same great treatment I probably won't from white gals who prefer black guys. Those qualities are largely missing from the white women I've dated (Yeah, but that was before I saw the light, or dark, if you prefer!) - It's the quality of person who will date interracially that I'm after but I also am simply turned on by black women so easily! There, also, it's cultural: We're complex creatures. Would I fall for a white woman? You bet - But it's the person I'm falling for and from my experience, she'd have to be an exceptional woman - And yes, they are out there.

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  42.   Cheeky1968 says:
    Posted: 19 Jun 07

    i am married to wonderful woman of colour from zimbabwe she is so open minded like myself she is strong and pretty and takes no crap and speaks her mind which i like on the question of interacial dating i do think and hear that afro american woman seem less likely to date out of there race so my message to you ladies is try it u dont know what your missing you will be suprised

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  43.   Jeff2555 says:
    Posted: 18 Jun 07

    ...to add, I find that black women women who are of Carribbean origins are just so attractive, interesting, alluring, and feminine...I am like putty in their hands. My heart is theirs on site. -Jeff

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  44.   Jeff2555 says:
    Posted: 18 Jun 07

    I just think that, overall, women of African American descent are just better looking than white women. -Jeff

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  45.   Gary309 says:
    Posted: 18 Jun 07

    I agree... as a white man.. I see that ebony women are less open to dating outside their race.. I view women as attractive or not regardless of skin color or nationality or race, but by their personality... but ebony women seem to feel differenty to white men... not all ebony women of course.... but many of them...

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  46.   Nicole says:
    Posted: 18 Jun 07

    I'm a African American women from Florida. Actually I don't know what half of you are talking about, there are so many black women dating and starting families, with white men. Black women are whiling to date white men. Most are afraid of approaching white men. And their afraid to appraoch black women 40% of black women in florida have dated out side of her race. before I started dating white men, I didn't think they dated black women. Its a beautiful thing, All I perferr is men outside my race.the white men I've dated are more passionate than the black men I dated. Most Black men are more dominate. You cant go by what someone say you have to try it for yourself. When two people have a attraction for one another and the chemistry is there go for it.The reason why there isn't more interracial dating is because people are worried about what others think. But why care about what society think, Its your happiness that matters, Not society. Chocolate and Vanilla is so good. Best of both worlds.

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  47.   paddle9 says:
    Posted: 17 Jun 07

    I don't want to live in a colour-blind society. I want to live in a society where we celebrate our partner's ethnicity and the culture that generates. We need to ensure that each man and each woman we see on the street is an individual and may be a non-"conformist". That is a positive. Best wishes to all ethnically diverse couples out there. I wish you a successful relationship.

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  48.   DTreece says:
    Posted: 17 Jun 07

    Thank you Bree for putting into a more clinical light exactly what I tried to, in my poor grasp of the english language, say. In the end it boils down to man/woman face to face. Accepting each other's differences, cultural and otherwise is imperative.

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  49.   Thomas says:
    Posted: 15 Jun 07

    Hello Fancy, I did not check out the site but I will do it and let you know. Thomas

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  50.   Jade74 says:
    Posted: 13 Jun 07

    Very well said Bree.Thanks.

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