Black women on interracial dating
People usually have different views when it comes to interracial dating. I'm sure you too have your own. How does seeing people of the opposite race and opposite sex holding hands on the streets make you feel? Angry, happy, envious?
I was once having lunch with my truly black girls at a restaurant when a black woman and a white man walked on by. One of them went,“Let other people do it but personally, I cannot date a white man. White men date black women because they look down upon them. I'm not about to kiss some pink ass᾿ :roll: Yeah… I almost chocked on hearing those words.
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According to studies carried out recently, black women are less likely to engage in interracial relationships as opposed to their male counterparts. John Tierney, the author of the survey concluded, "It's not that white men are more reluctant to date non-whites, it's that black women are less willing to date someone of another race." Well the video below makes us see why.
Men are generally willing to date someone of another race, but women are more reluctant, especially African-American women. The researcher also found that women of different races generally agreed with one another in rating the various men’s attractiveness. However they were less willing to date a man of another race even when he was just as attractive as a man of their own race.
So, does this make interracial dating acceptance somewhat a gender issue? Will I be right to conclude as per this study that it’s not just black women who are reluctant to date interracially but all women in general? And if so, what factors influence this reluctance in women then?
Tags: black women views
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306 responses to "Black women on interracial dating"
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Salsassin says:Posted: 31 Jan 09Bre go here: http://www.chellaul.com/help/desk/ar/index.php?action=kb&category=4 They will help you in the process. Or just go to home on the main page of the site, click on edit profile, then click on update your photos. Form there on it's self explanatory.
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Bre says:Posted: 31 Jan 09I would like to submit my photo, and how did you submit your photo.
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Salsassin says:Posted: 31 Jan 09
While we are on the topic of labels, this is a question for many African American women. Why, on your profile, do many of you check "Black, Not of African Descent?" I notice that a lot. That is not a question to differentiate Africans from African Americans. African Americans are still of African descent. Blacks that are not of African descent (Not speaking of Out of Africa, 50,000 ya when all humanity migrated out of Africa) are people like New Guineans, Fijians, Australians, etc. In other words they identify as Black but they are not people that descend from people who migrated out of Africa in the last couple of thousand years. Shoot, I am not Black and I still am Afrodescendant because my great great gram was brought over from Madagascar same as many other Africans. That is like Chinese Americans going around saying they are not of Asian descent. Of course they are.
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Salsassin says:Posted: 31 Jan 09
Just a note, most women from the island nations are not African. Not unless they are from Cape Verde, the Seychelles, my ancestral wonderland Madagascar, the Canary Islands, Mauritius, São Tomé, Reunion or Comoros. Caribbean women may be Afro-Caribbean, but they aren't African.
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Salsassin says:Posted: 31 Jan 09
"If anyone do not know the diffrence between an american black female and an african lady from the islands I will say.An african lady in some way show you more curtious because in her back ground she is to follow the man and not to speak out.And on the other hand a black american women "sisters" as we call ourselves we do not follow no ones foot steps we make our own because thats who we are." LOL. Who fed you that stereotype. You see all kinds in both groups. Yesterday I watched Wife Swap, and saw an African American woman who had been indoctrinated and was indoctrinating her children to be servants to the men. The little boy did nothing around the house and the little girls washed everything, cleaned everything. It was an African American family, not African. On the same token, I have met African women in my law school classes that were following no man's footsteps. What is different, is something that is different in Americans and British, in general as well. On average (not always and varies by country and social level) they tend to speak in a more proper form of English and tend not to project their voice as much and maintain the same pitch of voice more. Afro-Latina women tend to be closer to the mainstream of Latino culture and act in similar ways to any other Latinos. Afro-Caribbean vary by island and class and some express themselves in similar fashion to African American women while others have the trends similar to Africans of not projecting their voice as much. In general, I have noticed the extended family culture is stronger in the larger diaspora than in the African American community. I would say the strongest in the US is in the South.
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Bre says:Posted: 31 Jan 09
I am a professional American black woman age 34. I have dated in and out of my race. I like men, and I have dated predominately Italians. I think love has no color.
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jussee says:Posted: 31 Jan 09Comment back to Salsassin,Do not get me wrong when I say how loud and out spoken a black women can be.And yes I am not saying we all are like that.Because I am no where near that type I am describeing.And I am only basing this on the black american women herself,not an african lady from a tribe or island some where theres a big diffrence.So I am mainly talking about the american black women and the american white man.If anyone do not know the diffrence between an american black female and an african lady from the islands I will say.An african lady in some way show you more curtious because in her back ground she is to follow the man and not to speak out.And on the other hand a black american women "sisters" as we call ourselves we do not follow no ones foot steps we make our own because thats who we are.I can not say it no better then that.But I will say like a lady said in her profile you will see more black women and white men dating in the near future.And I will love the heck out of seeing this I feel its awesome I like when I see it it makes me stare but only in a good appreciating way.So for all the white guys who are hiding in a shadow of love for us please come out because we want you too.
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Salsassin says:Posted: 30 Jan 09
Uh, nothing wrong with a woman that is outspoken or with extra attitude. It is a taste that many men like. Each to his own taste. But just wanted to say I have met many Black women who are not like that at all. Not only in the African American community, but also in the Afro Latino, African, Afro Caribbean etc. Not shooting down the prior comment, just adding that those men that might not be attracted to the specific type of woman described earlier, still would loose out if they ignore a woman because of what they think she will be like. I have met every type of woman in the Afro-Diaspora (and I forget there are Pacific Ocean Blacks on this boards as well so in the Black populations in general) that I have met in the European diasporas. Men who don't speak to Black women because of preconceptions are fools. You really won't know how that woman is until you actually interact with them or at least stick around to see how they act in public. The exact same thing you do when you consider dating any other woman.
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jussee says:Posted: 30 Jan 09
Reading all that everyone is saying from white men to black women,Wow unbeliveable.Me as the black women that I am.I have to say I have been dating white men for 20 years now.And love it.I have learn in dateing outside my race that the black female is treated 100% better then dateing her own race.Very true statement. The only hang up I have ran into in dateing a white guy is that it depends on where you are living at the time.Some places can be harder on white men to approach the black women,And yes those places the white man can be a follower among friends rather he wants to or not.I feel the black women excepts more of a black man with a white lady then the black man will except her with a white male.Same with the white ladie she also do not want to except the the bi-racial relationship.But we as black women really do not give a rats butt about any of it so why should it bother anyone else when they see us with a man of a diffrent color.But I will say this also black women also makes it harder for a white man to approach her we are very diffrent in many ways in attitude wise so for him to just walk up to a black women for confersation be careful because you really do not know which attitude you may get.And I really feel sorry for the average white male who really want to give it a try.I do not blame you because yes there are a lot of black women out there who"s mouth is off the chain and can be disrepectful.But do not let that stop you I feel you should stand up as the man you are and take a chance you may be looseing out on your future wife if you do not at least give it a try.Everyone knows that black women are out spoken and that we are not afraid to hold anything back.So there for if thats what you like and want in a women then batters up.You may get a winner in heart.
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deeann says:Posted: 25 Jan 09
@ Salsera77...You are so right! LOL...Trail_hiker you do think highly of yourself. Maybe those women were simply not into you. And, maybe some of those other women you spoke of were simply looking at what you could do for them.
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Salsassin says:Posted: 08 Jan 09
Trail Hiker you truly made me laugh. You are the classic stereotype of a fetish dater. You have no clue of the people you are attracted to obviously. If anything, Black women in the US are very assertive on average. It probably pisses them off more when less capable White males get better paychecks. Stop worrying about what golden skin a woman has and try exploring her mind for a change. Black women in the US are dealing with a history that just ended 40 something years ago. Jim Crow. Remember that? So they have many family members and friends who have fresh memories or retellings, and there is a lot more cultural added pressure. And don't act like the racism has just vanished. The AfroDiaspora in the rest of the Americas has not had this experience. It will also vary by the African American community the woman was raised in. Some areas of the US are more prone to date across lines than others. And let's be honest, it is not just Black women who have been hesitant to date across lines. White men have been reluctant as well. If a culture sells stereotypes for long enough people start buying their own stories. White males have over sexualized the Black Female so much, many men don't look at Black women seriously as partners, but instead follow fetishes. And Black women see through these attempts at sexual exploitation vs relationship seeking. White men have also cuckolded themselves in many cases in relationship to the Black male oversexualizing them as well. So they fear to compete in the sexual arena with Black men. How many times have I heard a fool, not want to date a White woman because she slept with a Black male. So why would it be different with a Black female? It's easy to point the finger and just say they are unwilling to date, but the problem comes from both sides of the fence. Until people stop believing the stereotypes and either avoiding or dating based on such beliefs, the sense of guardedness in dating will be perpetuated. Having said that, I do hope Black women start dating outside their group more often to level the playing field for themselves. There already is a surplus of Black women compared to Black males, and that surplus exists in almost every other group as well. So they are not only competing with other Black women, but women in general. If they don't date all pools, their dating pool will be that much more limited. It's basic economics of supply and demand translated to the dating scene.
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boudreaux75 says:Posted: 03 Jan 09
Well this post has definitely been interesting reading. I remember when I was beginning to date my parents suggested that I only date white girls so that I wouldn't have to go through the problems they did (step dad is black). Then when I was 16 I met the most beautiful girl (who just happened to be black) and we dated for 2 years then I joined the Air Force and we got married. We were married for 13 1/2 years when we split up/divorced but we remain best of friends. I never cared what anyone else thought of our relationship, only that we were happy together. That's all that really matters in the end, not what color you or your partner are, but do you make each other happy. Now that I'm single again I just want to find that special lady that's gonna make me happy and allow me the privilage of loving her with all my heart...and I don't care what color she is, just so long as we are happy together.
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wendylove002 says:Posted: 03 Jan 09i just thought i could throw in my 2 cents. I like white guys.. always have and probably always will. so i signed up for match.com and just to try it out i put up my picture of my face [ i've been told im pretty lol] and i got TONNNS of winks/messages/ ect.. then i put one up of my body.. and nothing :( i know im big.. [working on it lol] and my gf keeps telling me "girl you need to date blk guys.. they r more into big girls" she has white guys figured out [or so she thinks] 'they like skinny white girls' but ive dated white guys that i was attracted to and them to me...but why is it that online..there is like no one? and do white guys feel that way?
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Member says:Posted: 05 Dec 08
Race will always be a issue in the US. Remember the US still had slaves 100 years after UK stopped having slaves.Yes I am a Black Men over 50 and well educated. I have traveled the world for business and pleasure. I was raise in a black family, mother and father. I live up North in a white community with only two black families at that time. My mother is a doctor and father a engineer and strong Christian family. I will only date inside my race and that is it. I see many black man date white women that the white man would not date. And the sister that may date white men are sharp. I believe one can date whoever they want to date. To say brothers treat women bad is wrong. One can be bad in all colors. I see whites and blacks many times acting the same. Now I am about to get into trouble. Black women in the US seem to be stronger and will not relax even if they have a strong working good man. A white women seem to allow more bad action in their lives. I know many black good business men that love dating black but not black women in the US. I have allot of sports friends that will dated and marry white women. Reason given to me is that white women will allow the cheating just to keep the image up for the outside world. Yes I have many problems dating black women because many refuse to relax. I am a black man that loves the fine things in life. I have a villa in Spain and a home in the US. I drive a Lamborghini, Corvette, Porsche, 1969 Malibu and a Range Rover with money in investments and bank. I am a strong christian man that walks as a good man and not just talk. But sister seem to want war at time. I date women in the higher income because it is my surrounding. I try to date a ghetto girl and one may state. But she what me to walk in her world and shun my world. I would lesson as she talked about the killing down the street but refuse to even hear about my day, as she called white. But I still Love my sisters. I was around to see the King days and the hate people had for blacks. I have also seem the hate of light blacks have for dark black in the US. In the UK things are different. Someone stated why we are talking about black and white and not others. Let me put it this way. One can be a white Russian, German or any UK person. And one will not know if it is not stated. I travel the world and I wear my color. And I have to work and be better in business to make it happen for me. In business a black woman can move up the chair faster then a black man. Blacks in business must be three times better to make it. So sister yes we all have our points in the way life looks at blacks dating outside there race. But to state black men treat there women bad sometimes; So do white man,sometimes. Sister, yes you have the right to date white, black or whoever. There are still places in the US were blacks better not go at night. And I see many things that the older blacks had to fight for are being given back. Education is free if you want it to happen. So yes it will always be around the color. I hear whites refusing to vote for Bbama, (The coming President) Not because of the issues, but the color of his skin. I travel thou the UK and they love the change and hope it will make a differences in the world. Give the man a chance. The US, do I have to stated the words I here. I have business man that are marry to black women and they hate other blacks. I had to fired 3 of them for statement that they had made in public. And the bad think about these people is that many did not know there wives were black. A black man will let everyone know he has a white wife. And white woman will let everyone know she has a black husband. A white man I see many times hide it from others if possible. So again COLOR will always be a issue in the US. But no matter what happens in my life, I will always date in my race. For the US still sees color. I if you do not believe me travel to many of our states. Try to poor white area and see how you are welcome. Black communities are different in welcoming people.
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exceltae1 says:Posted: 01 Dec 08I date a woman cause I like her and want a relationship with her and I don't care what color she is. I think that part of the problem here is that people are trying to project personal views on society and vice-versa. I am not here to date a black woman, or woman of any other race, to better society. I am here to find someone that is happy with me as I am with her. My views on someone are based on what I know about them, not about the group of people they may be a part of. The sad thing is, I think some people will play into what others think about them, because they know no different.... no matter which group of others they are trying to appease. That is really self-demeaning to the individual. How could you ever make yourself happy, if you are only doing things to please others? Sometimes you have to fight for your own happiness. Remember our founding documents? I am specifically looking for an inter-racial relationship, cause I have never had one before. I have never been against it, just never really had the opportunity to have one before, and have really been wanting one more as of late. To me it is all about better my odds at finding someone. Love is hard enough to find, so why would I want to lessen my choices and reduce my chances based on someone's skin color and ethnicity? That would be counterproductive to the main goal. If I find happiness with a black woman and others don't like it, then they can go to h3ll!... I sure hope that there are enough black women out there who realize this....
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jade74 says:Posted: 29 Nov 08Thank you Salsera.You spoke and wrote exactly what I was feeling too..Speak my sister.Thanks for keeping it real. I couldn't have said it any better.Thanks
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salsera77 says:Posted: 27 Nov 08
Ya know, it really peeves me off....this mentally that some white men have towards black women. I don't care if this ruffles some feathers, I'm just gonna say it and I won't mince words. Trail_hiker, you and many white men like you, ASSUME that black women in the USA as you say "have this racial thing ingrained in her mind." Let me tell you something, your superiority complex is not attractive. Many black women in the USA don't consider ourselves UNEQUAL to white men...it's some of YOU who PRESUME that we think of ourselves that way. I know because I've run into the kind of mentality you display from white men occasionally and you guys psyche your ownselves out. I know because I have intelligent educated friends who would like to date white men. The comment by Dave on August 2nd has the same overtones. He said: - "I am concerned that I may be assumed to be some kind of white authority figure and disregarded as a potential boyfriend/partner." Oh Pa-lease.... Wake up!!! This is 2008. Black women are educated and confident! We know who and what we are in the USA! Plainly put: White men that think black women have it in our minds that you are somehow BETTER THAN WE ARE and therefore won't consider you as a partner need to come off your high horses!!!!!
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trail_hiker says:Posted: 25 Nov 08
A black woman from Jamaica or Trinidad or Africa has no problem dating white man. She doesn't have this racial thing ingrained in her mind. She considers herself equal to the white guy. And that is how it should be. I love the soft golden skin, the luscious lips and the better attitude to life in general.
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Artbunker says:Posted: 17 Nov 08
LOVE WHO YOU LOVE NO MATTER THE COLOR. As long as you'll are happy together who cares who you love and are with . Im not saying its always gonna be easy, but be with whom your attracted to mentally and physically. This is comming from a black male on the forum. Too much hate in this world. If folks find love with each otheer and can weather storms who cares what others think .
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Juce says:Posted: 14 Nov 08
I for one love men of all races,just never dated nothing but black men.I am very open minded and I don't have a problem with any.
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mistaken says:Posted: 29 Oct 08
Ive noticed that A LOT with black girls my age, A LOT, to the point where it just disgusts them.... its for quite a few reasons. But its usually only a small handful of blacks girls in a school that like white guys, or admit to it at least, but it seems ingrained in some that 'white guy=ewww, and i quote "hell no, I'd throw up"'. Seriously, it goes both ways without a doubt. Rayne makes a GOOD point, very true, a large number of white guys are followers. one person judges or doesnt approve and its over because some are just weak like that. and its not stereotyping, just true... notice how i didnt say all. However, someone like myself, I would not ever be that simple minded to just give up on something that I KNOW is not wrong that easily because people tell me bs. When I lived in Florida, and I saw that weakness demonstrated through a happening to Daniel, cry her eyes out because Zack broke up with her only a day after they officially let it be known they were together, its just like... wow.. some white guys here have no balls. No balls at all. Not even the balls to like what they like, its sad really. At least the true reason behind a few black girls i know acting the way they do is simply because some are a bit ignorant, something about penises ,they think theyre betraying black people, or they internally have negative feelings towards white men in general and dont feel they look at a black girl the same as any other person simply because of her skin, or thinks she'd be disrespecting herself to demean herself to the derogatory views of the 'white man'. but with white guys, some are just quite cowardly.
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travelgirlx6 says:Posted: 23 Oct 08
I really do not get why race is such an issue in this country. I am a black women do not let my race define me. I think its important to date and marry who you are compatible with. I am more attracted to white men but this is likely more an issue of my profession and my interests and simply preferences. I am going to date someone I have something in common with. I feel quite a few black women date outside of their race. Especially because more and more black women are educated and likely surrounded by less people of color. I am a doctor and quite often most of the places I have worked it has been quite unusual to meet other black doctors. Now that I am moving to NYC next week my hope is that my hospital likely will have more doctors of color. I do not agree with the fact that people may think that a white man is dated down by going with a black women. Most white men I date would actually feel they were dated up if anything. Most people would not believe that issue at all after meeting me. I think most black women are strong and much more secure about who they are and what they look like. Its is interesting but you dont almost ever see a black women getting plastic surgery or developing anorexia nervosa. Black women are much more confident about self image and body image much more compared to white women. I do not see white men as timid at all. I agree with one of the commmentors who said that black men quite often will act confident but psychologically more often than not they are insecure. I do not see all the fuss is. No matter what small town I have lived in white men have been open about dating any women they found attractive. Its not hard meeting someone outside of my race just hard to find someone I am compatible with. I have travelled the world and find most of the rest of the world less defined my race and ethnicity. Also some of the typical american attitudes I see are not appealing. Because of this I find I am much more compatible with a European or Australian man instead of an American man. I do not care who people marry just be open minded, get out of your comfort zone and be happy!
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f3ralanarchy says:Posted: 16 Sep 08
to me it all comes down to choice. i guess one thing alot of black women new to IR dating dont understand is that men of all races loveeeee flirting from women from any race. you have to just put it out there. what it comes down to is if you live in a area where its rare will you be able to handle the stares and whispers?
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jadediamond says:Posted: 16 Sep 08
Why do black women have to limit themselves to a "black man" as if they are not go enough for any other race? White, Asian, Hispanic womem (Just to nama a few)don't limit themselves to one race. Black men defintely don't limit themselves when it comes to interracial dating. In fact MANY black men find if preferable to date interracially for whatever reason! If race was an issue during creation than God would have created another "HUMAN RACE," or "Species" but instead he created only ONE RACE "Human," and whether or not Adam and Eve was of the same color wasn't an issue. The only concern was that they were the same "HUMAN." We have allowed society to dictate to us who we should an shouldn't date instead of following our heart.....So many miss there "Soul Mate" because they are looking in one direction. (Think outside the box) If we look at the person and not the color we might find that special someone who we couldn't imagine life without. And that person just might happen to be of a different color or "RACE." I'm from the south so interracial dating is defintely looked upon as if it is a terrible SIN. Some people would rather find that their loved one is gay than to find they are dating someone of another color. I consider myself a rebel with a cause...LOL Life is to short....live it!
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jadediamond says:Posted: 16 Sep 08
Why do black women have to limit themselves to a "black man" as if they are not go enough for any other race? White, Asian, Hispanic womem (Just to nama a few)don't limit themselves to one race. Black men defintely don't limit themselves when it comes to interracial dating. In fact MANY black men find if preferable to date interracially for whatever reason! If race was an issue during creation than God would have created another "HUMAN RACE," or "Species" but instead he created only ONE RACE "Human," and whether or not Adam and Eve was of the same color wasn't an issue. The only concern was that they were the same "HUMAN." We have allowed society to dictate to us who we should an shouldn't date instead of following our heart.....So many miss there "Soul Mate" because they are looking in one direction. (Think outside the box) If we look at the person and not the color we might find that special someone who we couldn't imagine life without. And that person just might happen to be of a different color or "RACE." I'm from the south so interracial dating is defintely looked upon as if it is a terrible SIN. Some people would rather find that their loved one is gay than to find they are dating someone of another color. I consider myself a rebel with a cause...LOL
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Yolanda says:Posted: 05 Sep 08
I am a biracial women. My looks are very mixed up and everyone thinks that I am spanish but I am black and white. Growing up my parents made sure that I didn't pick sides. But I am more attracted to white guys. Trust me I have no problems getting them to talk to me. But most of the guys that I have dated said that they were scared of rejection because of my race.
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k.d says:Posted: 04 Sep 08
After reading all of the comments on this whole "dating outside of ones race thing". I find it very interesting. I can't speak for other people. I can only speak for myself. I don't have a problem with dating people whose pigmentation happens to differ from mine. I think people make too big of a deal out of non-issues. There will always be problems in every relationship regardless of skin color. I think it is sad that people choose to forgo their own personal happiness to please society but so many do. What is dating outside of ones race? I thought we were all color variations of the HUMAN RACE. When did ET (an alien) start dating human women or men for that matter? LOL. This is ridiculous, the things that people in society choose to harp on. There are bigger issues in the world to worry about (aids, cancer, health care, homelessness) so why make dating one of them. It is this simple - boy meets girl, boy likes girl, boy ask girl out, girl either accepts or declines, boy is happy or boy moves on, end of story. Where does race play a part in this? It is simply about a man and a woman. I am not blind to the fact that the race thing will always be an issue in society. I just choose not to let it define me or dictate whom I happen to date. We are all beautiful, complex,diverse,endearing people regardless of race. I wish that society would choose to focus on our many similarties instead of our differences. I know I have been a bit long winded but the point I want to make is this - date whom you like - pick with your head and your heart - the hell with what others think - you will be happier. Color doesn't make the man, CHARACTER does. I happen to like them (men) in all shades and I am a black woman and I will date a man of ligher pigmentation. I don't want to come across as having it all together because I don't. I just know that in this world happiness of oftentimes fleeting and I will grasp mine were I find it, pray for the best, and not think twice about the package that it is wrapped in bc the end, as my mama is so fond of saying, "all of Gods creatures just want to be loved". Thanks for letting me have my say. I hope that my comments were helpful to someone having problems bc of the "race issues".
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salsera77 says:Posted: 03 Aug 08
Why Thanks, Dave. Now, That's what I'm talkin' about! Lol. Wink! Keep that up.
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Dave says:Posted: 02 Aug 08
To Salsera 77-Thanks for the reply.Valid point. And by the way...you are seriously pretty-I spotted you earlier! How's that for direct honest flirting.
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salsera77 says:Posted: 02 Aug 08
Maybe black ladies don't flirt with you because you don't flirt with them. Instead of being assertive you wait for them to "flirt" with you. Go over and read mine and some of the other last comments on the blog post called, "What's with Men and the Chase." It might be a cultural difference but black men tend to be more traditional in their approach in regards to showing interest/pursuing. They don't let a no with one person stop them with another either. Maybe black women think you are just not interested because YOU don't flirt with THEM and don't like them. I know that's what I tend to think about most (not all) white men. You being or not being an authority figure has nothing to do with it.
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Dave says:Posted: 02 Aug 08
I am a White guy and find black women very attractive but I don't know any. I must admit I do love looking at the curvy, full butt that many black ladies have. I bet you that may surprise some black ladies but I think many guys really like their feminine shape. I have had asian and latino ladies flirt with me in the past but never a black lady. I cannot fathom why. As a professional white male, I am concerned that I may be assumed to be some kind of white authority figure and disregarded as a potential boyfriend/partner. I dated an asian girl and no white guys I knew noticed but I got alot of angry looks in the street from asian males and this upset my girl.
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atieno says:Posted: 27 Jul 08
im a black woman whith nothing against black men. i had a wonderful encounter with one a while ago but, went our separate ways and i dont hold any bitternss against him. i have scince met a wonderful man. a white man. i just find he express him self better than most black men. he is sensitive and willing to let me have my way plus he has lesser insecurities about his masculinity unlike a lot of black men. if we last it will be a blast if we dont then that will be another wonderful encounter with another wonderful man.
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Steph says:Posted: 25 Jul 08
Says who? When I look at a guy, I don't look at his color. I look at his heart. I could care less of his race. I can date outside of my race. No problem. Big deal.
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salsera77 says:Posted: 13 Jul 08
OMG Ebonedoll, "The features that we are born with, are admired on everyone else, but us!!" Tell it! It's sooooo true. Angelina Jolie, Jaylo, Bo Derek...the list goes on. Why is this?
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ebonedoll says:Posted: 11 Jul 08
Yes!!! Being a mother, it is my responsibility to instill self esteem in my children. Having also been brought up in a home where my father only bought me black dolls, I do the same with my daughters. I don't believe in television or magazine images running anything. I am amazed, Cecil, at your description of how black women are. Perhaps you should hang around a different group of black females. If black women fit the stereotypes you have described, then white women should be very nervous about the reasons black men date them. I always wonder when black men speak such nonesense if they see the same qualities in their mothers? Never considered a white woman dating a black man "stealing one of mine". If expressing my opinions on things makes me unattracive, so be it. I'd rather folks tell me what they think of something than talk behind my back. That is nothing but weakness. More women need to do the same and perhaps men wouldn't show their behinds like they do. "Women" put up with lots of things because they don't wanna rock the boat in relationships. Our fault. I have never been intimidated by other women regardless of race, but feel that in the scheme of things black women are given very little respect when it comes to television image, because it is acceptable, and quite frankly...some black men feed into it. The features that we are born with, are admired on everyone else, but us!! If I date someone it is because, they have the qualities I am looking for in a man. I want a man to behave with strength and integrity and to speak his mind. They need to be this way because that is what they will get with me.
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Francis says:Posted: 10 Jul 08Black is beautiful. Nobody is her/his skin. We are all what we have inside. Your brain and your heart. Lets all stop that racism issue. It is backward.
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Pat says:Posted: 29 Jun 08
To NYCtechie -I'm white but I think I can somehow relate to your experience. I don't tan very easily and every summer men (mostly construction workers) comment on my pale skin. Black and asian man never do, only whites make nasty remarks. It's really annoying though, because there is very little I can do about it. Except for maybe quitting my job and tanning 24/7...... ;-).
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Hairybear says:Posted: 23 Jun 08I love and have only dated black women in the reason that they have unlimitied strength and the beauty they possess leaves me speechless. I have encountered some unplesantness from both races but I would die with a black woman on my arm that any ohter woman on this planet.
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Shuny22 says:Posted: 22 May 08
I am very new to this site, and I have never even kissed a man outside my race. I've always been attracted to white men, and men outside my race. However, I was raised and (until recently) stayed in an entirely Black neighborhood. I really haven't had a chance to meet a white man. Plus, I'm in the South, things are still slow down here. However since I've been on this site I'm seeing all these handsome men of all races wanting Black women. I'm like a kid in a candy store!!!! I think women in general are cautious, so please stop attacking black women for our god given wisdom to examine a situation before jumping in.
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JESSICA says:Posted: 24 Apr 08
am a black girl from birmingham eunited kingdom,and i get hit by men of all race easily.but only dated black men whom were nice to me but not always. I have been approached by white men but i always turn down offer beacause i was not attracted to white (when i was younger but not now) men and felt they only want sex.Guess am wrong!!my friends then were rascist and hate white guy.the black men especially told me they only after sex... Until i break up with my last boyfriend 3 year ago whom treated me so badly that i almost committed sucide I end up in hospital.he married someone else why am still dating him.I left him when i found out. am only 25 now and am ready to date.Have decided to give white men the chance and i think these got to do with maturity as am no more rascist toward men of other race.I know my family and friend would not approve me dating white but i know i have to(it my choice).afterall i gave black men chance and why not white men.. I put an ad on online looking for white boyfriend,i was amazed by the amount of response i recieved.these were mostly university garduate and guy age 24- 33.I met up with three guy and the communication were good.that was 3 months ago.At the moment am dating a scottish guy,he lived in share accomodation,does not earn much.which is okay with me because am only looking for a guy to love. Also i do not expect because he is white he would be better than my exes.But just the fact am dating a white man make me realize white dude are cool just as black men are...yeah!! the sex is great, he suck me allover,i just cannot get enough.if we break-up tomorow,i would still date a white guy. Also most black guy date white women for many reason rather for love.Belive most black women date white men because they actually love him because is not easily as a black lady to be brave to date men of other races.If we do;then the 'love is blind' nto even if our parent dis-approve
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julybaby says:Posted: 20 Apr 08WOW!! this was an interesting thread. Who the h^ll cares why you are attracted to someone? I wouldn't care what color his skin was... the hard part is getting to that introduction stage with a dude, black OR white! The rest is gravy!
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salsera77 says:Posted: 13 Apr 08
Addendum: .... and I read all 75 comments which had the best parts.
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salsera77 says:Posted: 13 Apr 08
Ok. So the original question was: Why are women (not just African-American) more reluctant to date outside of their race? I've never, ever been reluctant! So that study is not refering to me. It's the white men who are reluctant. Thomas, you posted a bfinterracial marriage link that led me to the following blog that is very helpful. I read the whole thing. Thanks. http://blackgirlshaven.blogspot.com/
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arquaid1 says:Posted: 10 Apr 08Wow ive noticed a lot of individual dogma/generational hatred toward a new generation of peoples(Black Women) in particular. iam an Islander, borne free ,native of the Good ol Soup Bowl USA. let me give you my break down of it. my favoriteQueen of all time that i aspire too/emulate is Haphshepsut. my origins well maternalside.GrandPa:Egyptian(Alexandria,Near Benha N. of Cairo.Gramma:Monastiraki,near Anafiotika District,Athens Greece.Fraternalside.Grandpa:WestGate Hills/FairField Area of Montego bay Jamaica.Gramma:Creole,La. native with roots,in louga region of Senegal near a town called Lingue're/Dara i my self and my children are raise a proud peoples with a lovely diversity/ rare DNA Gods Blue print.Oh almost forgot Iam Married to Russian Man 1st generation Born here in'71' his family never owned slaves but my ancestors did. so now what. What im trying to say is Learning from the past can help us all,liftup out our shells of past hatred.BlackWomen are thee first Eve, stay strong love hard Show the world by action love is stronger than Hate,Love is eternal,love breaks through all barriers,even color lines. and Black men please stop hateing,ive given birth to BeautifulLittle angels 3 sons 1 daughter. they are a wonderful reflextion,highly educated future scholars. i tell my babes"unselfish love never makes you weak. real loves makes you stronger.Iron Sharpens Iron.I know its Hard but with Gods Guidance We Can(black women) make a huge difference. i have no time for grudges or thee,ignorance spoken by others. its poison,hatred is poison to the soul,i stay a lot to myself,iam very family/career orientated. i have no time for regrets,we as human beings have no time on this earth to sweat the small stuff, Just pray,aknowledge,God.then Ask"Great IAM Show me Who Iam. amen Black men Please get over yourselves,i met my husband in college,he was thee only one who helped me achieve my goal to become a Nurse Practioner. And believe me i'm clockin thanks be to THe Lord Of Hosts, Amen
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nyctechie says:Posted: 06 Apr 08
Gen - I can relate to your post. I've always been attracted to white men (first crush was a Jewish boy in 7th grade). However, I dated black men because it was accepted and more convenient. My experiences with them were constant put-downs because of my nose, my hair or my skin color (by BLACK men mind you). I'm not even going to go into the socio-economic issues. Either black men were with me, but didn't value me or weren't interested in black women at all. My experiences with white men have been the opposite. They liked the brown skin, natural hair etc. and were much more attentive. My only complaint is that it is difficult to find white men in NYC who are obviously open to dating black women (which is why I'm here on this site). I know they exist because I see whitemen/blackwomen interracial couples all the time. Sometimes I want to ask them how/where they met. My personal experience has been that white men are not interested or if they seem interested (looks etc), they're shy and don't say anything (happened to me again today in the supermarket). I know I can make the first move, but I don't know what to say and I'm afraid of rejection - so, I don't. As a result, they probably assume I'm not interested - when I am.
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tmiller says:Posted: 06 Apr 08
IM WHITE, MARRIED TO A BLACK WOMAN, A HAVE A LITLE GIRL BY HER, I DONT SEE NOTHING WRONG WITH INTERRACIAL DATING OR WHATEVER
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To Wendylove002 I'm sure you're looking for answers from white guys but since they're not answering you, may I just put my 1 cent in. In my experience the majority want thinner women. The other minority don't mine a little bit of weight on but not much. If they don't mind then they're interested in the booty and I'm not talking about the Pirate's of the Carribean kind.