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Did You Sleep With Him Too Soon?

Posted by Matthew, 06 Nov

It’s the morning after the night before. You had a great time. The sex was hot. He’s hot. It all happened so fast. And now you’re starting to have that classic worry: Did I give it away too soon?

Even in the modern world it’s common for women to have this feeling of anxiety after sleeping with a guy too quickly. Maybe you’re worried about he’ll lose respect you, or you want to make sure you don’t attached to him BEFORE you know whether he sees you two as a serious thing. Maybe it all just happened in the heat of the moment and you want to slow down next time before you jump into having regular sex.

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Relax. Sex is to be enjoyed, not something to be constantly agonized over. In this week’s video, I show exactly what to do next if you feel like you’ve slept with a guy too quickly, and reveal a golden line you can say to him if you want to slow things down that will make him EVEN MORE attracted to you and send his respect for you through the roof.

Remember: there’s no conflict between having a fun sex life and being high value.

Matthew Hussey is a renowned dating expert and author. His latest dating book Get The Guy is a New York Times bestseller. He's the go-to relationship expert for Rachael Ray, Katie Couric, Ryan Seacrest, Meredith Vieira and many others. And he's a relationship columnist for Cosmopolitan magazine and the resident love expert for "The Today Show." Here he shares his proven strategies to get a man to do anything you want, from tirelessly pursuing you to treating you like a goddess to committing to you for life.

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12 responses to "Did You Sleep With Him Too Soon?"

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  1.   Euchariae says:
    Posted: 24 Dec 19

    Hi I need a sweet guy that cares and lovely whom will take me out we can travel together

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  2.   shalzy says:
    Posted: 04 Dec 17

    If she desire to sleep with me than I am ready to break her without any delay

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  3.   Favored17 says:
    Posted: 25 Sep 17

    It depends. I think it should wait until you get to know each other well. Sex prevents real communication at the beginning of a relationship.

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  4.   Antdorxy says:
    Posted: 11 Nov 16

    Well, I think the sex has to wait with a first date.

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  5.   unodde says:
    Posted: 29 Jun 16

    One thing I've remembered that a friend once told me...a mans intentions will be the same intention on day one or if you decided to wait 90 days. Yeah love can happen, it's a possibility. But the internal intentions that are unspoken will eventually come to surface. Sex doesn't have be defined by time, if it's what he truly wants with that partner. If it happens it happens...day one ( hey I guess the attraction was real) or 90 days ( I'm sure you both were thinking about it), or if you decide to wait until you're married ( sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't). Let the moment be the moment and if you feel you did it too soon...reevaluate your choices and make a different one next time. There is no perfect time, just do you honey.

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  6.   Melrose16 says:
    Posted: 27 Feb 16

    Thank you so much Matthew. I was feeling so bad. Now I have the courage to continue with my guy. Thank you.

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  7.   Notadream says:
    Posted: 04 Jan 16

    I always believe you should do whatever works for you and that you should also know what you truly want in life. If you want to wait until you have a certain level of commitment, then wait. If you are a mature adult who recognizes that you have needs, then that's ok too. I've never been a get what you want and go type of guy, but I have been fortunate enough to meet some very mature women who were not afraid to tell me what they did and did not want. These women embraced their power of being single and the freedom it provided. They also, for various reasons, we're not ready for a relationship. They approached me and told me what they wanted. "I don't want a relationship right now, but I want to lay in those big strong arms", one said to me. All expressed that they had needs, and that they wanted me to take care of their need. Yes, I felt a deeper connection with them, but I also understood what they did and did not want. Did I not "save" something that should one be for my true love? No. For I have many things and deeper experiences that I have only shared with a wife or will share with a potential life long mate. But I have nothing but respect for those women, who realized that they are human and have needs. But I also respect a woman who wants to wait for that person they will continue to walk with hand in hand. If you did sleep with him too soon, just embrace it for what it was, but make sure to communicate what happened and your expectations ASAP. Communication is good for everyone.

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  8.   greengrl1953 says:
    Posted: 02 Dec 15

    Matthew, your on the money for the most part. While the lady in question may think she may have jumped the gun, so to speak there is also the fact that the fireworks that led to that point were there and real. Those fireworks don't just go away because I may decide to say what you suggest. Now, I am definitely no sleeze who jumps from one guy to the next. However, I AM a passionate soul who, when connected to whom I feel is the right man, holds nothing back in the sack. It's a cross between making love and pure, unadulterated sex. When I say holds nothing back I don't simply refer to my body alone. My emotions are at fever pitch too. By the time I've gone to bed with this man he has become no stranger to me though I may not know the half of him. Have regrets after? The only regret that I would have is if he walked away. It would not be on him. I would KNOW that I apparently didn't use proper judgement in the person. Another words, he's not what I thought he was. I am not one for regrets. I am however one for learning a lesson. Also, it really does depend on the man as well. Is he judging the woman after getting what he wanted in the first place? Or is that simply an excuse to use for his own benefit so he can run? There are so many facets to this jewel of a "so called" problem. My philosophy? What's done is done and there is no use crying over spilled milk. Should I refrain from going to bed with him in future? No, but perhaps it should have a bit of temperance added to the equation. After all. Sex is an important part of a relationship but it isn't the only important aspect. Also, if a relationship is meant to take off in the right direction- it will.

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  9.   dumelezi says:
    Posted: 18 Nov 15

    I don't think its a good idea to sleep soon with a guy.

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    • greengrl1953 says:
      Posted: 02 Dec 15

      @dumelezi- What is too soon mean to you? The first night, week, month, year? To me, too soon is if both partners are unsure of their feelings. However, if both partners are sure of their feelings why not express those feelings in every way possible? A certain look, a gentle touch, a soft kiss on the cheek or a passionate kiss, a whispered "I want you" in an ear? Making love/having sex when and where the two of you are ignited towards one another can never be soon if you are both consensual and fairly certain where your feelings lay. Remember this. Life is short. This very second is gone forever. When already emotionally loving why wait for sexual loving. To me, doing so makes a relationship incomplete. I say. Have sex when you both know where you stand emotionally.

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      • Manka77 says:
        Posted: 16 Dec 15

        Maybe it's not ok to have sex too soon because you can't be sure where you stand emotionally in that relationship (and you can't even know if it will grow an actual relationship) in the first days of it. I'd say fifth date... Maybe fourth.

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        • prettydred says:
          Posted: 18 Feb 16

          4th or 5th date? Wow...I think that this is too soon. I do not want fast, I want forever. I feel if the guy is serious about me he can wait at least 6 months, or even after an engagement ring is given, or even marriage. But that's just me.

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