Menu

Glad I Found My Husband Before That Blonde Did!

Posted by Queenb, 24 Nov

found husband online Since I met my husband online, people are always asking me how we met. Old folks are shocked when I tell them. “That really works?” is something I hear from the older marrieds. People under 50 are hip to it, but it’s amazing how many of my single girlfriends don’t want to pay for a membership! I roll my eyes and remind them what it did for me, but the 66 cents a day—what they charge at the best sites—is not the point. For God’s sake, my Starbucks habit puts that to shame! No, it’s part of that traditional gender role thing, where women instinctively expect to be courted from start to finish. You shouldn’t have to pursue anyone and romance shouldn’t have a price tag attached. I get it. As the song goes, “they say all the best things in life are free…” Well, they must have entered an arranged marriage.

Anyway, my friends will pay big bucks for pilates, mani pedis, waxing, gym memberships, shoes and skin cream... Many of those things are purchased with the admitted ulterior motive of helping them land a good man. But subscribe to a dating site? “No, I shouldn’t have to do that.” You have to pluck your eyebrows, do endless ab crunches and overhaul your wardrobe every season, but another little fee on your credit card? That’s too much.

Find your soulmate on AfroRomance

Join Free

Ladies, we can’t wait for Prince Charming to ride up in his white Mercedes. Time flies and we have to be proactive. Like anything in life, if you want something, you have to take action to get it.

For me, I used to think going out was that action. But I gave up my club-girl ways because so many of the guys I was meeting were too aggressive. I felt like an antelope being tussled over by lions. I tried online dating when all that stopped being so much fun (plus, the hangovers were making me substantially less fabulous). I bought a subscription because whether it’s a marathon, a promotion or a man, if I’m going for something, I’m going for it.

It was nice to feel safe and sound at my computer instead of vulnerable to the clumsy mating dance of some guy who’s had enough Red Bull and vodka to grow horns. Online, you can talk to anyone you want and wear your p.j.s while you do it (until graduating to video chat, which is awesome, but does require the appropriate pre-chat preening).

If I’d had a free membership, I don’t know if I would have ever met my husband because I’m the one who contacted him (he says he would have found me, but I have a hunch he was chasing blondes before we met). You see, free members don’t get to pick who they talk to. They can reply to a message or send a flirt, but they can’t email someone directly.

When I found my future husband’s profile, I just knew he was special. I couldn’t understand why he was on the site, let alone single. I was sure he’d be gone the next day, snatched up by some woman who couldn’t believe her luck (probably a blonde). Now, I have a certain type and I know that not every girl would swoon for him the way I did, but all I knew was I didn’t want to let this catch bite another hook while I was sitting here hoping he responded to my generic flirt. Thank GOD I was a subscriber and could write to him right away. He answered within an hour. We had our first phone conversation about three hours after I saw his profile for the first time. Our first date was two days later, on Friday, and by Sunday night I was canceling other dates.

Sometimes, you just KNOW.

I don’t even know why people bother with free memberships. It sends the message that you aren’t serious about your search for “The One.” Do you think my husband I sit around the house saying “I wish we hadn’t had to pay those subscription fees for the site that brought us together?” Yeah, no. Do we wish we’d met at the grocery store or at church instead? You just don’t think like that when you’re in love. You’ll take it any way you can get it. You’re just happy to have it…

Life isn’t picture-perfect and neither is romance. But once love is yours, anything you had to do will seem well worth it.

Related Stories

More Advice Articles

24 responses to "Glad I Found My Husband Before That Blonde Did!"

Leave a reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.

  1.   Hon3yspice says:
    Posted: 01 Oct 13

    hmmmm...makes you think

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  2.   Lizette2000 says:
    Posted: 13 Oct 12

    I like this site a lot, is great.

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  3.   Horizon7 says:
    Posted: 22 Sep 12

    I love this site! Have met so many great men, chatting, emailing and in person. Interesting growth experience for me. Have I met my husband yet, no, but am really enjoying this process. As far men not paying for membership, it does have me 'wondering' why, but I will hear them out first. Usually, it's a different mindset, one which I don't subscribe to. However, I don't contact men first, they need to contact me. I have been known, however, to contact a man to share a common interest, if I can tell I am not interested in him. Such as, being from Cleveland, I might email someone from Cleveland and reminisce in an email. I have had wonderful, respectful chats and emails from men on here. Maybe twice in 500 emails did I shut someone down and block someone. Very simply, they were not respectful. I have been a member for 6 weeks. I appreciate this site and the quality of men I meet. I am a social person, so it's fun as well as productive in meeting men. As far as my future, the man that will be a match for me will need to step up and make things happen, I respond to that type of man very well. I find that many men on here do step up to the plate rather quickly. Then it's my responsibility to see if what's behind the plate is real. Either way, I am enjoying myself immensely and looking forward to meeting my husband, whether on this site or another avenue. And, I would hope everyone on would find their best mate!

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  4.   Natalieray36 says:
    Posted: 05 Aug 12

    This will be my 1st time trying this out on interracial site and I have seen lots of nice looking men but I am just trying this out for now i hope I land a husband....Your story is awesome is he white or a black man that was seeking a blonde?

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  5.   dave_74 says:
    Posted: 29 Jul 12

    I got to agree with JDigriz , this post was likely posted to increase paying membership. But in AR defence, I did meet my wife here. It did take a little while though, and my search did take me across 3 continents, no less than one scam... about to give up, I did take a break but then decided to renew my membership and then met my wonderful wife.

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  6.   QTpie1968 says:
    Posted: 28 Jul 12

    I can certainly relate to what many of you ladies have stated. I've gotten many flirts, and a few emails; a couple who seemed promising, but interestingly enough, those don't really appear to be serious. I could be wrong but it seems to me if a guy emails and says he's very interested in getting to know you, one would think he would keep the lines of communication open. I mean why pursue someone, then disappear? I'm starting to think there aren't very many guys on here who are truly interested in a serious/LTR. I'm beginning to get discouraged again. On the positive side, kudos to those of you who have actually met your significant other on here and made a true love connection.

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  7.   tranquil27 says:
    Posted: 04 Jul 12

    I try to be more outgoing. I know that this online experience requires it, but it's so out of character for me to do he initiating. This article does make me want to try harder though.

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  8.   radiantrose says:
    Posted: 26 Feb 12

    I read the comments here and I just have to ask...is it because the ones the you want to respond that are not responding that you seem to say that you have no luck? Usually that is the disappointing thing to most....we want what we want and never think that we are what someone else wants but they are outside of our/your arena. No one has to lower their standards here but you would need to understand that you will get the frogs/dogs/wizards and whatnot before you find your mate/significant other/boyfriend or whatever floats your boat. I say be patient...he/she is out there and probably saying/thinking the same thing you are. Love is slow, kind, patient and best part of having the best damn sex in the world....just my two cents.

    Like or Dislike: or 0 (0)
    Reply to this comment
  9.   Blackbeauty says:
    Posted: 25 Feb 12

    Hello, no luck for me yet. But i do enjoy this site, i have had a good amount of responses, but not anyone that i am interested in but i know i will. some are looking for barbie, some are looking for that knight in shinning amour, neither are real. So as we continue our search for love and happiness, look for the heart.That is where your love and happiness awaits you.

    Like or Dislike: or 0 (0)
    Reply to this comment
  10.   Meka01 says:
    Posted: 11 Feb 12

    Hello, I haven't had any luck on this site. I was a free member for 4 months then I became a paid member about 3 weeks ago. I've emailed and flirted with many guys but no one has really caught my interest. The guys thats been emailing me are Either my grandfather age, weird, or playing games. Idk. Its so hard these days to find a Mr Right. Be blessed-

    Like or Dislike: or 0 (0)
    Reply to this comment
  11.   20pearlsgirl says:
    Posted: 31 Jan 12

    Why do so many men on this site send flirts and messages that do not fall within the parameters and characteristics of the man you are looking for. Men who are way over the age limits. Men who have a lot of kids. Men who are over-weight. I have taken the time to educate myself. Keep myself physically fit. I have a career and I work very hard. i think I am attractive and have high morals and standard I live by. I feel there is nothing wrong to want someone who is equally yoked. To be compatible with me. I should not have to lower my standard to appease a prospective partner.

    Like or Dislike: or 0 (0)
    Reply to this comment
    • ramoga says:
      Posted: 01 Apr 12

      I am glad you said that. I 100% agree with you. I am the same way & its frustrating. I like fitness to my bone but some guys I don't think they read a profile & understand what someone says they are looking for. Sometimes I have been made to give interesting responds to some guys.

      Like or Dislike: or 0 (0)
      Reply to this comment
    • gigigirl6969 says:
      Posted: 20 Apr 12

      I agree..most men do not read your profile much less the age range one is looking for..there are alot of players on this site!!!

      Like or Dislike: or 0 (0)
      Reply to this comment
    • SXYBRWNSUGA says:
      Posted: 28 Jun 12

      @ 20Pearlsgirl.... I thought it was only me. It makes me so mad. I'm with you 1000% and you shouldn't have to lower your standard to appease a prospective partner. I know I won't.

      Like or Dislike: or 0 (0)
      Reply to this comment
      • tranquil27 says:
        Posted: 04 Jul 12

        So very true...at every turn I specify I am interested in men in this country and preferably closer to home. Yet I keep being contacted by men from all over the world. No bueno!

        Like or Dislike: or 0 (0)
        Reply to this comment
  12.   scandiblond says:
    Posted: 27 Jan 12

    I was a paid member..but i stopped to make contacts a long time ago.Had it stated on profile i was a paid member and reasons for not contacting HIM (wherever he should be) I said if he wants to be found he will contact me and he DID. I am over the moon!!! @bolobikko i agree with you

    Like or Dislike: or 0 (0)
    Reply to this comment
  13.   peterness says:
    Posted: 06 Jan 12

    the woman in the photo would give any blonde some heavy competition! ;-) Is that really "queenb"? Because it if it is not, and she is single, I would like to message her.

    Like or Dislike: or 0 (0)
    Reply to this comment
  14.   bolobikko says:
    Posted: 03 Jan 12

    I may be wrong but when you compare this site to other sites, it is easy to conclude that this site is awesome and worth paying for the membership! Besides, by paying for the membership, guys you may be sending a subtle message, that you are serious, to all the beautiful women who may be interested in you. So, guys, skip a launch or two and save the money and use it to pay and see what happens. Make the move now! May 2012 help all of us to find the right mate and be happy! Yeeeaaah! Good luck! BOLO BIKKO, NEW YORK

    Like or Dislike: or 0 (0)
    Reply to this comment
    • peterness says:
      Posted: 06 Jan 12

      Is that really "queenb" in the photo? Or is that a model and photo of someone else?

      Like or Dislike: or 0 (0)
      Reply to this comment
  15.   mdsweetypie says:
    Posted: 03 Dec 11

    Nice story, and I agree. But what gets me is when men actually post in their profile that they are not a paying member so we must e-mail them first. It does make you wonder if some men on here are serious whether they pay for a membership or not. The first thing that comes to my mind is that if you are to cheap to pay for a membership to meet your soul mate. Will you be that cheap when you meet and go put with that special person. I hope that I find and meet my soul mate before some blonde does also.

    Like or Dislike: or 0 (0)
    Reply to this comment
    • JDigriz says:
      Posted: 21 Dec 11

      I'm a paing member, so far no luck at all. I wonder if this article might be fake? It seems like a good way to sell more paid memberships. But don't mind me lonelyness has made me cynical.

      Like or Dislike: or 0 (0)
      Reply to this comment
      • MissLilBlond says:
        Posted: 09 Jun 12

        Yes I agree with JDigriz, let's face it, these blogs are here to sell to more customers. I am not a paying member but have been on lots of dates from members I met here, I feel though it should be up to the man to make the first move and flirt, I don't think a woman should be the one to chase and In the future I might invest in a 3 month membership, but have been lucky so far in finding dates, it's just finding the chemistry. In saying that I do love using this site, and it's one of my favorites, I've had the most dates from here. You rock !! :)

        Like or Dislike: or 0 (0)
        Reply to this comment

Advice

Find your soulmate on AfroRomance

Join Free

Coaching Testimonial

"My online love inspiration angel"

Submitted by: Patricia, USA, 21

To be honest, in the beginning, I thought it would be a waste of time. But since I've never seen a similar service in any other dating site, I decided to give it a try.

I always "thought" my profile was on point and I did not need any help to correct my page. I always had in my profile if someone is not attracted to my profile, then that's "their" loss.

BOY WAS I WRONG!!

I will never forget my first time using the Coaching Service I was introduced to my personal Dating Coach. Let me put it this way, if it was not for her I would have given up long time ago (even though I'm a new member).

She taught me so many things and gave me good advice, I did not want to stop chatting with her at all.

She opened my eyes to many possibilities when finding love. She is definitely an inspiration and I appreciate a whole lot. She is more than a Dating Coach to me; she is more of a close friend/guide to me. She is definitely my "online love-inspiration angel".

Find out more

Most Popular

Your Comments

Site links