Interracial relationships and ridicule
Have you ever been discriminated against or ridiculed for being an interracial couple?
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What was your reaction to your haters? Do you think people will ever get over the "Eeew!" looks they give interracial couples?
Well, let us know how Americans are treating interracial couples in this century.
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140 responses to "Interracial relationships and ridicule"
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Member says:Posted: 03 Jun 08
I cannot tell you how many times in my young age I have been discriminated against for the color of mine, and my lover's skin. He's true Irish (last name starts with O, has blue/green eyes and red hair with freckles) and though his parents love me and my parents love him (my dad is remarried to a white woman so it's nothing to him) we can even hold hands in public before people stop and stare. One black guy even asked my lover if I was just his friend and if I was single! How rude can people be? I think what makes me so mad is because it is still a little uncommon to see a black woman with a white man. While it's perfectly normal for a black guy to be with a white girl, people still gawk with crazy eyes when they see couples like me and my lover in the mall or something. I was recently doing a self-project for interracial love and all I see are pictures of black men and white women. Anything related to my kind of interracial love is all PORN! I kid you not, or it will be the same 4 pictures on every search engine site. Is there ANYTHING out there that is beautiful and totally not derogatory??
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christyice says:Posted: 02 Jun 08Well I have no problem dating outside my race, however I have been redicule from alot of people that I know. Like for instance about two years ago I dated a mixed guy, he was mixed with white and hispanic. It was an attraction right away with him. I thought he was realy sexy and he felt the same way about me, up until we bagan going out in public alot is when things changed. We often ran into alot of my old classmates who apparently had crushes on me, but never revealed. They would say things to me like" What are you do with him, ya;ll can't be serious, what you don't like black men anymore, and even my own uncle told me that I was dating outside my race because I thought I was better than most people and I acted white myself. Well all the drama from all the negative opinions eventually caused us to break up. He began to feel very insecure and started to bother me also. So I eventually start dating my ex boyfriend from highschool, who is a black man and as usual he did not appreciate me, and I felt as if I let a good thing go for something that could not match up with my previous relationship. So my opinion now about redicule is that people are going to make comments about you regardless, that is just human nature. It can be out of jealousy, butterness, or whatever. If you allow their criticism to get in the way of your happiness: you only allowed them to win anyway. We as people are who we are with because that is the person that we have feeling for. Love is not a color, but rather an attraction. I have always been attracted to white and hispanic men, and probably be that way until I die, noone can change that, that is me, "so love who you want and be happy", that is my quote! Happiness is what everyone wants, they just do not allow their heat to go after what they want, but instead use their brains!
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sydnee says:Posted: 25 May 08
I have ridiculed and like Glock, all of my negative experiences have come from black men. As a black woman I am fed up with the lack of respect, and consideration, that I deserve from black men as it relates to my preference for a mate. For some reason black men feel that they have more than enough justification to be filled with rage when they find out that a black woman dates white men. I am not into stereotyping, I have never been hostile or angry toward black men about their choice of a mate, and I just want the same respect. Yet somehow that seems to be too much to ask. Every woman should feel she is worthy of having a good man. I believe that most men, black, white, or other want a good, strong woman who can add to their lives. As a woman, I believe that every woman should strive to be happy and independent. Then a good man will come into your life. Everyone woman should be proud of who they are. I am a good black woman with a unique and beautiful strength. I have just as much to offer to any man regardless of color. Yet for the life of me, I don’t understand why black men are so hard on me for dating outside my race, as they so put it. What is my race? If I choose to be politically correct, you will find that I am of a multi mixed race with Black, Mexican, Native American and Irish. To society, I am black, and very proud of each and every nationality that runs through my veins. I have to say that I find that real hypocrisy surfaces when black men on an interracial dating site continue to display hostility and anger toward me for listing my preference for dating as White/European. I have dated both black men and white men. I never try to compare the two. White men are totally different than Black men, and Black men are totally different than White men. Because I choose to love the white man, does not mean that white are better than black man. NO, it just means that we all have choices and my choice is a white man. Racism has got to go. People pull out your history books. Read how far back race mixing has gone on and you will find that there is no such thing as a pure race. If you are black, brown, yellow, or white and have a problem with my dating preference. GET OVER IT because it is what it is, I date white and nothing you say will change that.
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frenchyboo says:Posted: 19 May 08very interesting...wish i can find a way to post some of the clips of the movie i was in that came out last february...called interracial dating in america..it was an honor to part of this film.. you cn view some of y clups on youtube, under interracial dating in america.. check it out..but yeah, unfortunately i was so so ridiculed and talked to in such a disrespectful manner for dating outside my race since my teeens... check it out let me know what you think about it..great topics there..totally amazing as to some peoples thoughts and reasons why we date outside our race..when there is but one answer,,, because that is what appeals to us, period....
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frenchyboo says:Posted: 19 May 08
very interesting...wish i can find a way to post soe of the clips of the movie i was in that cae out last february...called interracial dating in america..it was an honor to part of this film.. you cn view some of y clups on youtube, under interracial dating in america.. check it out..but yeah, unfortunately i was so so ridiculed and talked to in such a disrespectful manner for dating outside my race since my teeens... check it out let me know what you think about it..great topics there..totally amazing as to some peoples thoughts and reasons why we date outside our race..when there is but one answer,,, because that is what appeals to us, period....
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Debbie56 says:Posted: 17 May 08Its actually where you are at the time, if you are in a large city shopping there does not seem to be the same looks-stares, as in a small village. My recent experience was while at a hot dog stand in Germany, my then man was trying to order a hotdog and fries they just ignored him, because they had heard him speak to me in Englishand also being black. So they turned to me and spoke to me in German, I speak a little German but no where near as fluent as my then man, I ignored them and let him talk, and they where not impressed, and in fact did repeat everything he said like he was not speaking the language properly... had we not be starving... hungry we would have walked away... but just shows how ignorant some people are with people in small towns..
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xeltron says:Posted: 15 May 08To Glock, Bravo! Free Speech is allowed in MY country!
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xeltron says:Posted: 15 May 08
Honestly, who cares what others think? and Member, that generalization about ALL black men was ignorant and ridiculous!!!! ........and probably a bit racist........
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SHAY1182 says:Posted: 12 May 08I have dated outside my race many of times and the dirty looks, whispers and sly comments doesn't bother me at all. What surprises me the most is that all of it doesn't come from the majority of black men that I come across, but the black females .
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Sharon says:Posted: 11 May 08Don't accept hate...ignore it when possible. Southern smiles, Sharon
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Nandi says:Posted: 08 May 08I am with you Sharon, racism is condition that is not going to change and racism in itself have no resolve...But we as human beings and Americans have surpassed the darkest plight of it.....So why should anyone care that much if someone disapproves of who they are with for any reasons..Why give anyone that much power over you...and a total stranger? Please!! Personally, I never noticed it to really have a comment on...Because even if it were to happen for me to take notice...I still wouldn't care..... It is kinda of pathetic, in the whole scheme of life to be obessed with who's doing who...LOL I say laugh at them!
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Glock says:Posted: 04 May 08In fact Cocokisses, after having read some of your posts from the past I found it quite amazing that you dated interracially. It sounded as though you hated white based on some of your comments.
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Glock says:Posted: 04 May 08
Cocokisses, maybe you should check yourself then! I have talked about incidents that I have personally experienced. Should I be quiet then because YOU don't approve of my comments? Or is criticism only allowed if it's about whites? Are you the PC police now Cocokisses?? Your comment is so typical of today, we want to talk about "racial issues" and discuss injustice and generally speak about race, but when it gets right down to it, people like YOU Cocokisses want to have carte blanche about where the discussion goes. In your world, no criticism of blacks is allowed at all!! I will definately not date someone like YOU Cocokisses!! That is for sure! But you can do us all a favor and pull your head out of the sand, racism and negativity comes from all racial groups, not JUST whites!!
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ethereal99 says:Posted: 30 Apr 08
If you get around enough, you'll find there are whites who discriminate, blacks who discriminate, Asians, Hispanics, & on & on, a microcosm of the real world. Some people just blame a particular race due to their own limited experiences. I agree: "As long as I am happy, I don't care what other people think", well spoken & how true !!!!
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cocokisses says:Posted: 30 Apr 08Glock, why are your comments always against Blacks? You can't even read the boards without doing this. Please do us all a favor...DON'T DATE OUTSIDE YOUR RACE! YOUR PREJUDICE IS SHOWING!
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ethereal99 says:Posted: 28 Apr 08
Yeah, we get stared at, commented at & discriminated against. And trust me, we give it right back. Now, can I enjoy these pancakes?
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lioness says:Posted: 28 Apr 08As long as im happy i dont care what other people think.its the fear of the unknown and their small mindedness and ignorance coupled with racism, and thats thier problem not mine.everyone is entitled to thier own opinions and preferences. In my opinion those who descriminate interratial marriage are small minded and they need to get out more. THIS IS THE 21ST CENTURY. SLAVE TRADE IS OVER.
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blkbeauty31 says:Posted: 26 Apr 08My experience has been that interracial dating/marriage ridicule depends on where you are or live.
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fkoi says:Posted: 24 Apr 08I have never for sure been ridiculed for dating interracially. I have heard comments which may have been directed toward us and probably were. I dated one woman who was sure that she was getting ugly looks from other Black women and probably was. One friend told me her family said, "Your dating a White man and he's not even rich? What is wrong with you?" Now my family has their eccentricities, but racism is gladly not one of them. I have no friends who are racist. I couldn't. As for everybody else, there are more horses' asses than there are horses.
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Holdmyheart says:Posted: 24 Apr 08
My experiences in dating out of race were all fantastic, with the exception of one. I dated a young lady in which her parents did not like the idea. They would always leave the room and turn up their noses when I would visit. After dating their daughter for a few years and showing them that I had nothing but their daughter's best interest in mind, they finally accepted me.
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Holdmyheart says:Posted: 24 Apr 08
My experiences in dating out of race were all not pleasent. I dated a young lady in which her parents did not like the idea. They would always leave the room and turn up their noses when I would visit. After dating their daughter for a few years and showing them that I had nothing but their daughter's best interest in mind, they finally accepted me.
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mossimo36 says:Posted: 24 Apr 08
Perhaps if we took our interracial dates to a country bar in some rural area white people's reactions would be different.
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photoguy says:Posted: 23 Apr 08I guess it’s something that has been ingrained into certain people for so long that sadly it will be with us for a very long time to come. As long as some people still have the belief that it is wrong to date outside their race then they will pass it on to their children and so on. I live in the hope that one day we will all be able to date who we want regardless of race, creed, colour, age etc and no one will batter an eyelid. Sadly it is still something that raises its ugly head every so often in today’s society, I have dated outside my race for the past ten years and during that time I have experienced all manor of behaviour from people. Not really what I would call ridicule, more negative comment or reaction. The thing that has surprised me however is the comments have come from all kinds of people from the two old Jamaican women at the bus stop who sucked their teeth at us and called me girlfriend ‘Bounty’ to the numerous black guys that have approached the woman I am with as if I was not there to ask what she was doing with a white man! I have also experienced reaction from young black women, white women have made comments to me about dating black women, but I guess the strongest reaction I have ever had was when I was sitting with my arm around my ex on the tube in London, a white guy got up to leave the carriage and as he’s passed us he shouted with anger ‘interracial bastards’ at us. However none of this has ever bothered me because I was happy and proud to be with the person I was with at the time. When it all comes down to it the only person it was bothering was the one who was making the comment. If my being with someone of a different race bothers them so much then if anything I feel sorry for them for being so shallow and one-dimensional that other people’s choices and actions have such a negative effect on their own narrow-minded and limited lives. Darren
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Joy456 says:Posted: 18 Apr 08
Hm-m-m-m-m! I can understand what someone is saying when they state that they are treated differently especially when an interracial relationship is introduced to the public. It can be a hard experience at times but what one feels for his/her partner is more important. True...the physical appearence is real but as long as the "heart attraction" is real...one can go through much. From my home experience I have known stares, rejection by some family members but love prevailed in all situations. Personally, I have to act on what makes me real. If feeling for another race is strong...go for it. There will always be adverse reactions and statements made about most anything...especially when what you believe in is considered "out of the normal"! I really appreciate all the comments that I've read on this subject because I makes me feel free to know that others are dealing with the same issue. I also say...be of good courage because love is all that matters. Negative reactions only indicate what was always hidden and I know some have experienced negations from loved ones or those who were considered to be so very close. But...the truth will hurt at times but it's still truth.
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Member says:Posted: 14 Apr 08
I do notice that when black women date interracially,people take issue with it.However,nobody has a problem when a black man does it.Typical.People always say they are cool with interracial dating,but if a black woman is in the ir relationship,then they have a problem with it.Go figure.
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HereIamBaby says:Posted: 14 Apr 08
Isn't it funny how people never worry over the millions of people in the world who go to bed hungry every night and worry more about what color people skins are. The only people I can think of that I hate right off the bat are bullies, child molesters and animal abusers. The hatred is still out there...I was dished by a Latino [Peruvian] for dating blacks, just last month...life goes on...! Southern smiles, Sharon
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Glock says:Posted: 13 Apr 08
We always hear how whites are so "racist" in this country, so you would think that this forum would be FILLED with stories about how whites have treated interracial couple very horrible. Yet, I see just the opposite. Undoubtedly there have been incidents where whites have ridiculed black and white couples. However all my experiences with "the looks", and negative comments have come from black men. I remember 2 times where I knew and worked with the black men, 1 who behind my back, spoke to the woman I was dating and basically screamed his venom to her when he saw her drive my car. The other, while in a room that happened to be occupied by several black men and my girlfriend said, " Blacks should stay with their own...these black women keep chasing after these white boys". The comment was directed to my girlfriend.
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nesha86 says:Posted: 12 Apr 08
It's really sad to say, but people always stop and stare when I'm out with a man who is not black and those who are bold enough will make a rude comment about how I should be with someone who's black. It's funny how people don't seem to have the same reaction when a black man steps out with a woman who's not black.
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lilo4love says:Posted: 12 Apr 08
We once went to this restaurant for dinner and when my date went to the washroom this elderly waiter came by and gave me a really disapproving look. It happens some people just feel that people should not date those from other races. We live in a global world. In time they will learn to be more accepting of diversity.
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jazzloverOH says:Posted: 11 Apr 08
The only negative reactions I have ever seen are from black men and I don't care to speculate why. I sincerely believe white men are jealous of me, but the black men seem to have a very hard time with it.
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lilbitofcoco says:Posted: 11 Apr 08I recently was engaged to a biracial (african american and white) man whom everyone thought was hispanic. Our relationship was full of commentary. We met in NC and attempted to have a relationship there. After he nearly lost his job over our public displays of affection (kissing) and I got tired of hispanic men coming up to him speaking in Spanish and giving me sideways glances we decided to move to the NorthWest where people are more accepting. Out here, many of his associates (co-workers and some friends) didnt even know about me because they were open bigots. One night he actually fought in a bar over racial comments about african americans. Funny thing is they apologized to him "because they didnt know he was black".. I wasnt there with him. After a while I just stopped wanting to do things with him, because he got treated better when I wasnt there... He purchased my car without me, rented our apartment without me, and bought our house without me... The apartment complex actually refused to allow me to live there once they met me in person even though they had already rented the apartment to my fiance. The one time the two of us went out to the club, as we walked down the street holding hands a black man walks by me and whispers under his breath.. "whats the matter sister? Had to get with the amigo??" I dont know how much of it were signs of a doomed relationship, and how much of it was because we looked different. He was my first 'interracial' relationship (even though he did not consider it so) I am really afraid of going through the drama we went through again.
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lenee says:Posted: 11 Apr 08
Where I live all I ever saw was interracial dating. I saw so much of it, it was as if I was invisible to black men here. It use to really hurt me, I felt the white men here wasn't as open as thier white woman dating outside their race. So I finally got the guts and started doing what I saw black men doing. My so call girlfriends was not supported of this choice. I'm a free thinker it was mix with other races of men or be lonely like a lot of my girlfriends.It was hard at first, I didn't know whether I would be accepted or desired because I am a woman of color. I met a very nice white guy we dated for 2 years then we later married and stayed that way for serval years.Sad to say we are nolonger together.. My sister in-laws and brothers and laws we got alone just fine. My ex-mother in-law still talk and go out to dinner every summer she come here.As for my ex-after he relized or should I say excepted the fact that him and I wouldn't reunite he packed up in moved to Arizona. He stops by to say hi and remind me how he still loves me every summer. when we would go out we did get stares from other white folks. As long as I knew how he felt about me his woman I didn't care what outside folks had to say or thoght about us.They didn't know him or me. So I would say to the question: It really doesn't matter what other think as long as you know the real deal between you and your man. Let the the truth be told what a boring world this would be without music, kids, and colors?
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cocobeauty70 says:Posted: 10 Apr 08
I think ridicule from others is the difficult part of interracial dating. When you are one on one at your house or his it's all good. It's when you go out in public that your love is put on trial. I don't care what anyone thinks of my choice of mate the thing is both people in the relationship have to feel the same way. I think that any relationship that doesn't withstand "other people's disapproval" isn't worth dealing with. So everyone should examine their own heart and make their decisions based on that not on "acceptance" from other people.
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kingforever says:Posted: 10 Apr 08I have not noticed any ewwww comments or looks since I started dating black men. Maybe because I am proud of who I am with. If they dont' accept him then don't accept me. My grown children are fine with it and they are the only ones that really matter. I find black men very attractive and repressed that feeling for years. I was married to an Italian who was very predudice along with his family. I can just imagine how they feel but that is no concern of theirs.
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Salsera77 says:Posted: 09 Apr 08
A few times I noticed people (I leave out the kind) staring straight at me like they wanted to say what the &@#*% are you doing with him. Mind you, this was while we had our arms around each other while waiting in a line or while he had his arms around me at an establishment. I just glanced away but didn't move my head. No one dared to actually say anything.
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cnoter says:Posted: 09 Apr 08Iv'e dealt with the glares,stares and comments. Outright or under there breath. Even to the point of getting physical in public. If ya know what ya like/love ,stick with it. Dont change up cuz its easy or popular. Sometimes interracial love is like a game of rock ,paper and scissors. Difficult at times ,but fun to WIN.LOL. When it's Good ...it's REAL Good. So who gives a F#$k what anyone thinks....they aint sleepin in my bed. If your ashamed of your mate.....Look in the mirror.. the shame is on YOU. Maybe you should be alone. GROW up ,STEP up. I'll shut up.
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erica34 says:Posted: 08 Apr 08
I have dated 99% of the time outside of my race. My ex of 11 years, is Italian. Many people have ridiculed "us", may it be from my race or his race. I have had questions like "what u doing with him? You don't belong with him! Sometimes people look at us with scorn. In the past, if I am with "him" and we are having a conversation with someone that happened to be white, they tried to to talk only to "him" and ignore me. Black guys also, somehow get offended. In my opinion, people should date whoever they feel like, we are all the same, skin color does not make us any different; we all hurt and bleed the same way. The looks, the comments, the whatever, does not bother me. I was not raised to be prejudice, so therefore I do not think prejudice. Life is too short, to each is own. Do what makes you happy. To hell with the rest.
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Mrswhite says:Posted: 08 Apr 08
to tell you the truth I never dated outside my race and woulded mined to and if anyone didn.t like it tuff for them...........kat
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mossimo36 says:Posted: 08 Apr 08
Personally, I don't pay the haters any mind. A few people look, but have never had any direct comments. The funniest thing to me is the reactions of a few black men who think if they stare at my date enough somehow she will come to them.
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neciereaves says:Posted: 08 Apr 08My high school sweetheart was a young Italian man from Brooklyn, NY. We were deeply in love. His parents loved me until they actually met me. It was two years into our relationship before I met his father. I always wondered why he never brought me to his house while his parents were home. His father was so angry that he basically disowned his son. Our relationship carried a heavy strain after that and about 6 months later, it was over. I just couldn't deal with the fact that his parents disliked me over something that I had no control over. My sweetheart and I were always getting dirty looks from the black men in our area. I never cared and neither did he. I could have dealt with dirty looks from strangers for a lifetime. His family's disapproval was a completely different story in my book.
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Sxybrwnsuga says:Posted: 07 Apr 08
I can honestly say I have never been ridiculed about dating interracially. If I was I was unaware of it.
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LGand2gh says:Posted: 07 Apr 08
There are always going to be those who believe races should stay w/ their own.As well as those who believe blacks should go back to Africa.We did come here on holiday cruise,as a matter of fact our own people played a part in our COMING TO AMERICA.The Native people were here first.And if those who ridicule interracial relationships look up their family tree,I am sure somewhere there is a man or woman of color in their history.There is no longer a pure race.I myself have mixed blood lines.Ever since men and women have walked,boated,horsebacked,driven and flew across this planet there has been procreation and there has been and always will be mixed races.That is what God intended,for us to LOVE each other.For those who abhore interracial,I feel sorry for your closed mindedness.I fear those,cause no telling what else in regards to race they disapprove of deep w/in their cold hearts.Hows that?
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girlsixdiva says:Posted: 07 Apr 08
From my experience it's usually black women who get picked on and harrassed the most for dating men of other races.
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Member says:Posted: 07 Apr 08
I am a 30 yr old , fine white man, and i never had any ridicule problems being on dates with black women. I am confident and hold my head up high, and I really dont care if there is ridicule. I just ignore it. There has been ridicule when I was with white women too. So you cant say its just interracially. That is stupid. Also one other thing I would like to share that may upset some black men is that, Black men date white women for a status symbol or conquer effect. They think it will get them automatic respect in the heirarchy business world. And more yet as a trophy .On the other hand ...White men purely date black women for attraction. Blacklimocar@yahoo.com comments?
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Member says:Posted: 07 Apr 08
I am a 30 yr old , fine white man, and i never had any ridicule problems being on dates with black women. I am confident and hold my head up high, and I really dont care if there is ridicule. I just ignore it. There has been ridicule when I was with white women too. So you cant say its just interracially. That is stupid. Also one other thing I would like to share that may upset some black men is that, Black men date white women for a status symbol or conquer effect. They think it will get them automatic respect in the heirarchy business world. And more yet as a trophy .On the other hand ...White men purely date black women for attraction.
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Cloe27 says:Posted: 07 Apr 08Here's my piece of the pie as far as this is concerned. Once (in my early years) I feel in love with a puerto rican young man. By most people's standards our relationship wasn't interracial at all considering that we are both non-whites. Anyways, he started as a friend and it blossomed into something very dear and beautiful. One day while we were out shopping, holding hands (the things that lovers do) we were about to pass the storefront of a very popular men's store. Before I realized what I was doing I dropped his hand. It was a self-conscience thing, I would have never in a million year thought I was ashamed of us. The fact that we were a couple was no secret. However, as I was approaching a store full of black men, who no doubt would have flaunted their white women before me without a care, I acted out of...panic? I don't know what came over me but in that moment I think I hurt my man more from that little act of betrayal than stepping out on him. I'm ashamed not only because he was the man I loved but more importantly because he was my friend. In essence, to wrap up my venting, sometimes we are our own worst enemies when it comes to loving who we love. We let the opinions of strangers get in the way of beautiful, loving relationships.
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How to leave the past behind Your past experiences significantly influence your present dating life. Whether stemming from childhood wounds or past breakups, these experiences shape your perceptions and behaviors in relationships...
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Why Forgiveness is Necessary When it Comes to Love?
Why Forgiveness is Necessary When it Comes to Love? Forgiveness, often touted as "forgive and forget," is a profound yet challenging aspect of human experience. It requires grappling with a myriad of emotions – anger, pain, frustration, fear – that...
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Coaching Testimonial
"My online love inspiration angel"
Submitted by: Patricia, USA, 21
To be honest, in the beginning, I thought it would be a waste of time. But since I've never seen a similar service in any other dating site, I decided to give it a try.
I always "thought" my profile was on point and I did not need any help to correct my page. I always had in my profile if someone is not attracted to my profile, then that's "their" loss.
BOY WAS I WRONG!!
I will never forget my first time using the Coaching Service I was introduced to my personal Dating Coach. Let me put it this way, if it was not for her I would have given up long time ago (even though I'm a new member).
She taught me so many things and gave me good advice, I did not want to stop chatting with her at all.
She opened my eyes to many possibilities when finding love. She is definitely an inspiration and I appreciate a whole lot. She is more than a Dating Coach to me; she is more of a close friend/guide to me. She is definitely my "online love-inspiration angel".
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I just don't live my life for the approval of a bunch of rednecks.