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Is this the new face of modern discrimination or plain old racism?

Posted by Ria, 07 Nov

interraciall-relationships.gifDo interracial couples stand out among the crowd? Chances are that you take notice of an interracial couple more often than you would a same-race couple. Why is this? Is it because they look beautiful together or are you among those people that would brand them “Judas᾿?

The other day I watched a feature on TV about an Indian lady who was pregnant by a black man and took him home to "meet the parents". I don’t think you want me to narrate the chaos that ensued the words “Mum, Dad, this is my boyfriend.᾿ The Indian family suffered some form of temporary insanity… name calling, crying etc.. I even caught sight of this woman's uncle showing the middle finger at the proud father to be. The meeting turned into a total mess!

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Most of us see racism as a political terminology… something that was coined during the era of slavery. So, when parents discriminate or forbid you to marry or date someone of a different race, does this mean that the political ideology of racism has spilled over to relationships and family issues.

Lets re-evaluate how open-minded and tolerant we think we are about interracial relationships. The most accepting individual notices an interracial couple in a crowd and their image lingers on our minds. Has racism taken on a restrained form, hiding behind the walls of our so-called progression of acceptance?

Most people like to identify with people who are like them. And when you bring home your fiancé who is “different᾿ in terms of race and culture, the parents tend to cringe. Take the case of this Indian lady: the parents already had a "nice" Indian man from a close family for her, it was all arranged when she was about 3 and that was how it was supposed to be then in walks “someone different!᾿ And suddenly, the chaos begin.

Should we see this as some form of racism? Is this an odd form of discrimination or are the parents just worried for their children’s welfare? And what about those name-calling, finger-pointing strangers you meet on the streets?

Even those in interracial relationships tend to notice other interracial couples because their presence serves as a form of social acceptance. “Hon, at least we are not alone.᾿ Does this mean we are involuntarily bringing out this residual racist attitude through the constant recognition of other interracial couples?

Much as we are more accepting and open-minded today in comparison to the 60s when interracial unions were illegal, our liberal and progressive views still bear residual intolerance and racial biases. Who would think that in this progressive society we call a melting pot, racism could be so prevalent, in such hidden and silently destructive ways? Do we still hold the past generation's views of mixed-race relationships being taboo? Take for example the pointing out of interracial couples from miles away. Isn’t this fueled by racism?

Tags: interracial unions, racial discrimination

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  1.   Wonka says:
    Posted: 06 Mar 10

    Somethings NEVER change!!.

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  2.   Wonka says:
    Posted: 28 Feb 10

    I have NO COMMENT!!!,but we all know what 90% of it is,nuff sed!.

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  3.   planetearthian says:
    Posted: 14 Feb 10

    A twin soul could be found anywhere on planet earth, in the remotest and in the most outlandish tribe within the terrestrial nations. PEACE AND LOVE FOR ETERNITY!!! planetearthian

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  4.   Lovelyone_27 says:
    Posted: 19 Aug 09

    I know this blog was written months ago, but I have to comment. It amazes me that of all the problems going on in the world that are of more delicate matters, people still have the biggest issue over something as simple as race. think about it race something we have no control over even if we wanted too! and to show how backwards the people in the world think and not to ruffle any feathers but it has to be said anytime people are willing to except gay unions before they'd except that of a mixed union then thats grounds to really see just how ignorant the people in the world realy are. color is something we a had no choice or control over someone whose gay or homosexual shall I say had a choice to be that way. some of the people who spend more time worrying about color are the same ones that are supposedenly reading their bibles and going to church every sunday and proclaiming to love god and their fellow man and yet are filled with hatered for people over something as simple as color. Theres no way that ,that can be love because gods love to my understanding is not limited becasuse he created us all and if u think your going to stand before him on judgement day with those types of feelings and thoughts and expect to get into heaven you are sadly mistaken. Now I've heard the ten commandments recited numerous times and not one of them say anything about it being a sin to mix races. How ironic that people don't fuss about it being wrong for people to kill, steal, lie and decieve, all which are considered sins according to the ten commandments. And according to the bible fornication, homosexulity,commiting adultry, etc. are all considered sins but no one is making a big fuss over any of that stuff. And lets not evn begin to touch on other sins mentioned such as people worshipping the devil and having numerous gods and idols are all mentioned in the bible as being wrong but no one want to touch on any of that but when people mix races oh my gosh you've committed the worst crime. why is that? I guess the point I'm trying to make to people like that is to stop using the bible as your crutch when it's convienient for you and if your going to state the facts about sin from the bible try stating the real facts and not your version of what you precieve as facts.and when you want to talk about whats considered wrong in gods eyes try to remember the the things actually mentioned in the bible and stop turning a blind eye to those things and remember that of all the things mentioned mixing races was not one of them.

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  5.   miri2008 says:
    Posted: 31 May 09

    There is only one race - human. There are many ethnicities. Cheers to those of us who have refused to be subjugated by manipulative lies, created by power mongers to divide and dominate people; If people are busy fighting with each other, they don't have time to pay attention to the root causes of serious problems. More importantly, they are too caught up in petiness to unite and address these serious issues - that is the real agenda of the power mongers. We have seen comments in this very blog to show us how successful the brainwashing has been. We have to be patient our fellow persons who have not yet developed the personal fortitude to think as individuals and see through the monumental power and control that has been inflicted on people by having the masses bought into the notion that there are multiple 'races' on earth. So hats off to every happy multi-ethnic couple who stand as a testament that even in a blanket of ignorance, there can be glimmering threads of hope.

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  6.   homesteader says:
    Posted: 11 Apr 09

    When God made man ; He / She - as we are all made in Gods' own image [ does anyone have a photo of God / to allow me to see his/ her skin tone ? ] . Sent Moses the ten commandments . God also gave us all the ability to gain knowledge , He inspired people to write their own Books of religion in the Language that the people of their Regions could understand / therefore many different names used for God and a multitude of different Books and as man is not perfect all show different opinions of how it is and how it will be as to how life evolved in the various Regions of the world . Even Agonastics see life as it is played out daily , who are we to call them wrong . As a couple of Human Beings my wife and I / her being Female and I being Male . We ask why does anyone care about someone elses Happiness / When they should be taking care of their own Business . After the Service is over this Saturday morning we shall send a group of followers with plates to collect your 10 % tithe . Amen

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  7.   mossimo36 says:
    Posted: 29 Mar 08

    Gotta love London! Always enjoyed visiting there....

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  8.   MsLovely83 says:
    Posted: 28 Mar 08

    I live in london, and interracial couples are really common. Apparently Britain has the highest rate of interracial relationships in the world, according to the institue of social and economic research.

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  9.   InLoveWithSomeoneLost says:
    Posted: 23 Mar 08

    I find many of the reader's comments offensive. I myself am dating an African American whom i love. God does not love or hate people judged on color of their skin-- he made them that way. LOVE IS BLIND open your eyes people. maybe one day your children will show you that.

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  10.   Glock says:
    Posted: 24 Dec 07

    Anchorage Activist, why are you here if you have a problem with interracial dating? And who exactly is saying that we are "mating indiscriminately"? And as far as your "jumbled mess", I believe that God created man and woman. And based on the information I've heard, Adam and Eve were more than likey brown in complextion which does allow for the different variations in skin color.

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  11.   fala says:
    Posted: 19 Nov 07

    Anchorage Activist if you have such a problem with interracial marriage - why are you on this site?

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  12.   VMA says:
    Posted: 16 Nov 07

    I wonder if race mixing between blacks and whites is an attempt to level the crime stats. - Race mixing is quite offensive to me. I like the animal analogy! :)

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  13.   Member says:
    Posted: 15 Nov 07

    If interracial relationships are so "natural" and "inconsequential", then why do we have five different races upon the earth? I suggest that race is extended family, another means God used to organize His human family. Are we really doing God's will when we mate indiscriminately with anyone we see? And furthermore, for those of you who embrace "diversity", perhaps you might care to explain how mixing up the races into one jumbled mess contributes to that "diversity". Perhaps having five separate races is nature's way of celebrating "diversity". Just some food for thought, folks.

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  14.   Richard says:
    Posted: 15 Nov 07

    I notice all couples.Maybe because I notice people period.Yes,interracial couples and individuals ones also,but no more so than others. I have never not dated interracially.And I am a 48yo white male raised in the south.

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  15.   melissa says:
    Posted: 13 Nov 07

    Its not just acknowledgement, its staring. I have been with my boyfriend for 2 and half years and it never fails we are looked at with heads shaking and obviously disapproval. it rare to walk hand in hand without someone looking in disgust. I am not doing anything wrong I met an amazing man and he just so happen to be black. I'm hated by all female friends he has, or shall I say had. H couldnt stand being friends with ppl that didnt like what he was doing just because i am hite. Another thing that really bothered me was that ppl automatically assume that im dating him for sexual perposes only. its like we are characters playing a dirty role. and mostly ppl had no problem letting me know thats what they thought. Little did they know that nothing sexual happened until we knew we were completely in love with eachother. because that is a huge step in a relationship and it is serious to me. To be honest not only is interracial couples not accepted, it is less approved by society than a gay couple is. Believe me i know from experience my bestfriend is gay. Its sad where ppl dont realize I'm in love with my husband/wife gf/bf and this couple(gay or interracial) are as happy together as I am with mine. Open your eyes

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  16.   Keyma says:
    Posted: 12 Nov 07

    I don't know what to agree with if you want me to be honest. I love to see interracial couples on the street and if they look my way they will notice that I am staring, not in disgusting but b.c it shows me that there is hope for us that date interracially. The interracial color tone blend is amazing to me and I love to see it more often then not. I come from a family and neighborhood where interracial dating doesn't happen unless your talking spanish (w/ a certain look)) and black, then it's okay. I don't understand why people look down on interracial dating some much like we (as in people in general) are a pure race. We are all mixed b.c of one reason or another. Yesterday, I got into a disagreement with my grandmother b.c she told me that I am ashamed of my race and complexion b.c I date white men and light skin black men. She is wrong i am not ashamed of my race or complexion, I just have a preference. I like all men it just so happens that I am mostly attracted to light skin black men and white men. I will never change my preference b.c people stare. Yes it can be uncomfortable to watch them stare at you in disgust sometimes but you know what screw them b.c they aren't who make you happy and they don't have to live with it, you do.

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  17.   lisa says:
    Posted: 12 Nov 07

    And, again I ask the question why not have a pic of a wm and a bf hands claps? Being a female that is the pic for me.

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  18.   laugh_sailor says:
    Posted: 11 Nov 07

    I think those hands are a beautiful symbol as well, Coco. years ago, I was gently nudged by a black man when I was absentmindedly gazing at an interracial couple, telling me "It's ok, these days." It was finals week for me and my mind was miles away but when he caught my attention, I realized their obvious love was what caught my attention - That's simply a pleasurable thing to witness. What a wonderful post, Nick! I agree, Ria, that most of our lives have a political component to them - We're social creatures, after all and this blog is a great example of positive public education, with political goals of inclusiveness and harmony. In your example, the parents justify their prejudices and racism. That's typical because when a person is seen as a person, the viewer is being open to them and that makes pre-judging difficult. As George Wallace discovered, there's a amazingly strong resistance to introspection when ingrained immoral behavior is concerned but once that's broken, the conversion can be (as in born-again Christians) even stronger and openly evangelistic. Your blog here is a wonderful political forum for exposing many of the myths and fallacies of interracial dating, as well as showing examples of the normal, kind, fine, respectable, diverse and simply fascinating people one can get to know here. Our activities here are political and hopefully correct negative, insulting and stereotyping thought on this subject, from very personal perspectives.

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  19.   tebiit says:
    Posted: 11 Nov 07

    There is a long way to go before racism becomes something of the past. No matter what or the system in place there are always going to be interracial couples and there are always going to be people who'll look at them with diverse feelings. People have got the right to live their lives to the fullest as long as their decisions are not going to affect the lives of others. I would not worry at all if I had to date somebody from another race, because I would be involved alone in the relationship. My surrounding has nothing to do with the way I lead my private affairs.

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  20.   cocokisses says:
    Posted: 11 Nov 07

    You know what? Some see that picture of the hands intertwined as racist...I see it as beautiful :)

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  21.   lisa says:
    Posted: 08 Nov 07

    Ria: Why not use a pic of a blk female and another race man rather than same old picture above? Nothing personal.

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  22.   dee says:
    Posted: 08 Nov 07

    I personally have an understanding of the racism among some people of Indian (Asian) heritage. Many Indian people are racists against themselves and especially if you have a dark skin tone (most will not acknowledge this point) and of course if you do not have a college education then you are simply on the low end of the totem pole. The higher your education and the whiter your skin the better. The funny thing is there are numerous white females who will pay for a dark tan(Dancing with the Stars). LOL...when I was working at a casino I had to do double and triple takes because I thought I was looking at a blk female and it turned out the females were white with very dark tans. Talk about how time is slowing changing when a white female purposely tans her skin that dark. Well what can I say but, ladies welcome to the family.

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  23.   Sakary says:
    Posted: 08 Nov 07

    Ria is surprised by the prevailing racism. Hard to believe since the problem is so evident. Parents pass their attitudes, family traditions and "racial truths" to their children. And many of them have lived during the era of legalized segregation when separation was to them "a way of life." Media still feeds stereotypes and television news way too often give the impression that "people of color" are more involved with crime than "white people." And imagine what an average fifty or sixty year old white parent thinks after watching few hours MTV videos! Take a look at their background, sexual stereotypes and everything ... voila, table is set! "Everyday racism" prevails because it is impossible to destroy it completely. However, we have to fight it!!! It is a must. You wonder, Ria, that "the melting pot" is still racist? It has never been a melting pot; only a "mosaic" as social scientists call it. Just take a look how quickly American schools have resegregated in the United States, and now even the Supreme Court has practically given its blessing to it (the OLDEST Judge of the "esteemed" Court dissenting!!!) The "gaze." It annoys a lot of people for sure. However, it is probably one of the smallest problems existing at the moment. Structural racism is just as big a problem, and just as hard to destroy (to be very frank, most people don't even want it since their own "priorities" would be endangered.) I live in Finland. Yesterday there was a school shooting near the capital city Helsinki, worst such incident here ever and first shooting at school here in twenty years. This was also on CNN news and other major stations. The "kid" had made pro-Nazi videos to YouTube etc. ... The problem is global! It touches us all!!! No-one is safe, everywhere! You can dream and you should, just as Dr. King told us. But don't live in illusions!!!

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  24.   vt33 says:
    Posted: 08 Nov 07

    I see your point Ria, and it is true. The show that you were watching that is definetely the real deal Holyfield. I have a auntie who is in Indian and she married my Uncle, her oldest child is 38 years old. Give or take 3 of her family memebers speak to her till this day, the rest have disowned her. The new face of racism this is not at all. This has always been. This is one of those subjects that fall into, "You can't go forward until you know where you come from". Sure we can look at the 30's on down into the 60's when there were tons of interracial relationships via black men and white women. Look at the offspring it produced! Also look how the racism showed between NEGRO and "HIGH YELLA NEGRO? Nothing made the two any different just a little touch of white, and it created racism within a race a "Obeservation" if you will created discrimination. People stare and look at everything, take for instants gay women, people look at them and you can read their faces at what they think. Disgusting! that is the expression. Yet the questions needs to really be put out there. How different are people in the world? You have black men, white women, relationships, black women and white men relationships, chinese women and white men relationships etc. How many of you stare at these couples, never mind the fact that you "say I am into interracial dating". How many of you stare? Next case scenario, you see two women gay all day, one looks like a girl and the other looks like a boy. How many of you stare? Two men, one looks like a man and the other is in total drag. How many of you stare? What are your thoughts when you see these people, disgust, hate, contempt. Do you change seats to get away from it. How many of you see people who have AIDS and you move away for fear of catching the disease? More over, how many of you see a homeless person, on the street , and you step far away because you fear this person, or you don't want to get in his filth. Racism- noun- prejudice against certain people. Discrimination-noun- 1. judge 2. treat differently on the basis of , race, class, sex etc. Everyone is guilty of the two definitions above, yet, people refuse to rise above those two definitions. I was always raised to beleive in god, and walk with god. I also was given the gift to see, and see color and enjoy the beauty of color. I was given the joy of having a mind that thinks, and forms opinions and add to the joy of life. Not everyone was given these gifts, yet, no one takes advantage of them. This is not a new face of nothing, people will always be judged, on either race, class, or certain people. I BELEIVE PEOPLE CAN CHANGE THE WORLD, IF THE FIRST ACCEPT THE WORLD.

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  25.   Fkoi says:
    Posted: 08 Nov 07

    I notice a lot of things. I notice that a cat is tall. I notice that woman has on cool boots. I notice the guy down the way is sporting a Cadillac logo. I notice the couple across from me seem to be in love. I notice a vintage Mustang cruising down the road. None of this makes me a bad person. Neither does being aware that the two people walking hand in hand in front of me have hands of a different hue. When I had a broken leg, I noticed casts all over New York City and we all exchanged a look and a rueful smile. We tend to see someone wearing the colors of our favorite team or alma mater. Left-handed folks jump out at me. A famous songwriter once told me that when you are writing a song about cheese, everywhere you go people are talking about cheese (I'm not sure that fits the conversation, but how often do I have a chance to fit that into a blog?) It is what I do with those observations that can add a moral value. If I assume that he is a dumb basketball player because he is tall, I have crossed over several ignorance lines simultaneously. Ditto if her boots make me treat her with disdain as a hooker. Or if I am fearful of the "gangbanger" in the Caddy hoody. If someone brings home their loved one who is Black and the parents are more concerned about that than if he or she has prospects or manners or intelligence or drinks to excess or has a criminal record for domestic abuse...Oh honey!...they are racist. They may not go in for cross-burnings, but there is no getting around it. Racism is ingrained in our society and it isn't easy to remove. A first step may be to recognize where it exists in each of us and just as importantly, where it doesn't.

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  26.   fala says:
    Posted: 08 Nov 07

    Good point Coco. I'm also not sure what the point of this one was. Not everybody stares or cares about interracial couples. Where I live it's fairly common and really nothing for anyone to get all worked up over.

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  27.   mossimo says:
    Posted: 08 Nov 07

    As one who was married previously to an Indian female I can understand the built in opposition many Indian families have towards interracial dating. Not only toward myself as a white male, but very heavily against anyone black. In fact, their prejudice is so high, that I read the true story of a Indian father who had his son's black wife killed in her home by a hired killer, leaving their mixed child unharmed. Personally, I find it joyful to see an interracial couple of any kind walking hand in hand when not all that long ago it would have been taboo. Perhaps other cultures will eventually accept then perhaps embrace diversity.

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  28.   breezy1968 says:
    Posted: 07 Nov 07

    I gotta agree with cocokisses. I also smile at couples whether bi-racial or not cuz they have found someone to love them. That, in today's society, is hard enuf to do. I even acknowledge the same sex couples for the same reason. I married white my first time and had a son. That is not the way of my heart and now I'm old enuf to set my own rules, I follow them. I've explained to my son he must find a good person, male or female, and follow his heart. I have no stipulations on any of it.. other than a good person. He was raised that we all bleed red, and cry, and have opposable thumbs and the ability to reason. I was not raised that way.. parents and grands told me anything different than I, was wrong. Joined the military years later and found out they fed me lies to keep in control. I also found wonderful people I had never been able to associate with before and fell in love with the diversity. If I can raise one child in todays world that has the voice to speak out.. I have broken the chain I grew up with. Sorry about the ranting... once I get started. ehw boy!! I still believe that we all bleed red.

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  29.   cocokisses says:
    Posted: 07 Nov 07

    Ria, you lost me a little bit on this one. How is acknowledging another bi-racial couple being racist? I see nothing wrong with that, and I do think that it makes me feel like I am not alone. I acknowledge them with the same smile that I give to any other couple. I do secretly say to myself, the world has come a long way. At least we can walk together in public, despite the stares. In the old days, bi-racial couples couldn't even do that.

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