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Swirling with Christelyn Karazin

The art of attraction isn't just about colour or creed, it's about chemistry and a whole bunch of other things. Swirling author Christelyn Karazon discusses.

Listen white guys, you REALLY need to get over your fear of the black man's penis

Posted by Christelyn, 12 Mar

I recently ran across a post from a “Pick Up Artist” site  by an expert giving advice to non-black men on how to date black women. It was interesting to sneak a peek into the male mind, and what things they are thinking about us. Take in the comments with a strong backbone, because they pull no punches (and to the black dudes up in there throwing shade and discouraging non-black men to stay away from us, I’m looking at you.)

To be fair, many of the tips and techniques the author suggested rang true, like these…

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* Don’t treat black women like she’s your Jungle Fever fantasy

* A white guy’s best bet is to approach a black woman with a diverse group of friends (which is spot on since that’s the advice we give black women to signal non-black guys that they’re open to getting to know them socially and perhaps, eventually romantically). One subsequent commenter even went so far as to advise white guys to stay far, far away from black women who self-segregate.

Here’s where he gets it wrong. He tells his thousands of male readers that basically black women value swagger above all else. Thankyouverymuch MTV, BET, and all rappers of the millennia. He, like many non-black men, think that most black women worship on the alter of black penis. White men fear this stereotype so much (and fear they won’t measure up to it) that they often won’t bother approaching black women. I know, because I get the notes from these dudes. Swagger in this case is code for BIG OLE MANDINGO DICK SO GINORMOUS HE CAN’T WALK WITHOUT STRUTTING. Here’s a direct quote:

Develop a little swagger. Make sure your game is on point (that is what this website is for, isn’t it?) and work to ensure that your confidence shows. Get very comfortable approaching with that confidence. Black men are famous for fearless, persistent approaching — though they claim to often be annoyed by this, the fact is that said reality has conditioned many black American women to expect a man to be confident enough to step to them. There is very little tolerance in the black community for shy guys, far less than you will find in other groups.

Here’s how the problem of black women being judged as a monolith gets so damn annoying. The values of ghetto chicks, black nerdy girls, “regular” black girls all get lumped together by the intellectually lazy. While “Boomquisha” mostly desires the hyper-masculine bravado of thugged-out Rae-Rae and thinks he’s sexy as hell, “LaShawn,” the black, nerdy girl who grew up in the Valley and has a collection of friends that looks like the United Colors of Benetton thinks that dude is a clown and wouldn’t be caught dead taking him to the corporate Christmas party. And to be sure, the very woman that the PUA “Pick Up Artist” suggests is a good prospect IS a girl like “LaShawn,” and she’s not checking for swagger as her first indicator of a high-value man.

In essence, the author is giving the right advice for the WRONG type of black woman. Most black women open to dating interracially aren’t looking for non-black men to adopt the mannerisms of black men, because…what’s the point?! Look white guys, high-value black women, (you know, the ones you want) are not looking for you to start Crip walking and running across the street shouting “AY! AY! AY! What-cho-numba is, gul?!”

So with all respect to the Pick Up Artist who wrote this, please get the phuck outta here with that bull spit. You’re giving huge swaths of white guys advice on how to date ‘Shoshiquanna.’  Kayla, Christelyn, Brenda, Sylvia and all the other black women I know who have “regular” names who come from middle to upper middle class backgrounds (again, the kind of black woman you guys want to date) are not looking for those qualities in a mate. Like most sensible women, they’re looking for someone who can connect with them emotionally and intellectually, can carry himself well, has a good sense of humor, is gainfully employed, and most importantly, thinks we’re amazing. It’s. Just. That. Simple.

So instead of listening to a guy who wants to mash all of us up into one big hot ghetto mess, come and see me sometime, big boy. I’ll set you straight.

Christelyn Karazin is the co-author of Swirling: How to Date, Mate and Relate, Mixing Race, Culture and Creed. She also operates the popular blog, Beyond Black & White, and operate the first forum dedicated to black women interested and/or involved in interracial relationships.

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50 responses to "Listen white guys, you REALLY need to get over your fear of the black man's penis"

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  1.   cinnamon1111 says:
    Posted: 26 Mar 17

    I don't like the fact that you asked to be treated like everyone else but diss people with ethnic names? you having a "normal" colonized name doesn't make you any better!!! I have an ethnic name and I'm proud of it. and in the same breath I can be a black woman and not try to effect a white woman to be considered "classy" very ignorant statement to make!!!!

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  2.   AHappyLady says:
    Posted: 26 Oct 16

    I dislike that 'swagger'. I like a man with confidence but the usage of 'swagger' has another connotation. I absolutely hate the 'hey baby, let me talk to you" routine. That 'playa' attitude is something I cannot stand. If you want to ask me out...just ask.

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  3.   blackbelle01 says:
    Posted: 21 May 16

    Develop a little swagger. Really. I can't stand that term and guys like that are a big turn off to me. I like men who approach me and are themselves. I love nerdy guys as well. Not all BW are the same nor do we have the same experiences.

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  4.   Lakisha242 says:
    Posted: 26 Aug 15

    Love the frankness of this article as it's all so true!

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  5.   newluv28 says:
    Posted: 23 Oct 14

    I really dislike the hatred or biases against people of color who are from disadvantaged backgrounds and communities. Why do we need to be segregated in this way? We all deserve and want genuine love and life partners. Inappropriate, trifling, disrespectful people come in ALL shades, genders, and from ALL socioeconomic statuses. Judging someone by their name is not only ignorant but borderline racist regardless of who is doing it. People from the "hood/ghetto" are human beings too. I'm so tired of this hypocracy. You don't want someone to assume things about you based on your skin color, yet you do the same thing to disadvantaged African Americans and seek to separate yourself from them. I don't see anyone of any other race do this. If you are interested in dating a person of color but do not have the common sense to know that we are not all the same and have similarities and differences then there is a bigger issue at hand. Being hateful towards disadvantaged African Americans for the sake of "proving" that you are somehow more "valuable" simply based off of your class is distasteful and highly offensive. People within the "hood" are not a monolith either and do not all fall into the stereotypes. Although there is other content that is great on this site, this particular article was highly disappointing.

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  6.   DebzR says:
    Posted: 07 Jun 14

    I <3 you SO DAMN HARD!! Tell that! I'm of the nerdy sort you mentioned in your article---you've stated SO PERFECTLY how I feel! Can I quote this/link this in my profile?

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  7.   ante59 says:
    Posted: 07 Jun 14

    "Penis talk is the last refuge of a scoundrel" - Samuel Johnson (or perhaps it was my aphorism)

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  8.   APISOSIR says:
    Posted: 30 May 14

    No one has to ask non white men to stay away from you. I am SO tired of these black females trying to give the impression that black men give a flying fart about who black women date. White MEN are the ones who lie and slander men of color to avoid competition, not the other way around. It's your White Prince with the insecurity issues lady, not us. Please stop the nonsense.

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    • illbwhiteblk says:
      Posted: 07 Jun 14

      Speak for your self dude I would back up any person of ethnic back ground and have and yet when i have been with an African american women I have had many African Americans show prejudice and racism towards me and who i was with ..This question is really unnecessary and there is no need of questions like this that would cause racial conflicts ..Theirs enough already ...So I can respect you defending your self and i respect your opinion until you start generalizing ,theirs good and bad in every culture ..Maybe your just bent because what they are saying is true and you fall in there category.....I would reply the same to a white man if he started pointing fingers at someone of another race.A real man doesn't need to defend himself with words its done by showing and doing...Thats where respect is earned ....And to the creators of this Interracial dating site , please re-frame from any more questions that would cause racial tension ..Theirs better ways to get interests or attention than by creating more racial dysfunction.....

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  9.   illbwhiteblk says:
    Posted: 29 May 14

    Be for real , we are Gods creation no matter what color ..But your dealing with 2 main groups who are looking for their soul mate....1 is serious and honest the other is the game players ...so its not so much advice more than it is being truthful to yourself and others don't try to be somebody your not , learn to be a better person not a bitter person take the good and learn from the bad situations God can do that for you if you choose then your source of wisdom will always be true..so its not about whom to take advice its having the wisdom to know who to take advice from .

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    • Gildorious says:
      Posted: 31 May 14

      Bravo we are all God's creation and we all have weaknesses which can be turned to strengths.I think this isnot to be ggeneralized if you hang out with the wrong baibe or dude then that's it.Hey it also depends on where you go do your shopping.

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  10.   male34nj says:
    Posted: 28 May 14

    If you want to pick up a woman then do exactly the opposite of what this article says! If you like someone just talk to them, the worse they can do is say no.

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  11.   Bachelor.007 says:
    Posted: 27 May 14

    is there going to be a article dealing with the reverse?

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  12.   Charlie5000 says:
    Posted: 22 May 14

    I found this article to a bit biased. We are a diverse culture and most of us 'colored' girls do like a man that can be assertive. 'Swag' is not code for big 'd--ck'. And some of us not so upper middle class girls like variety as well. You insult not just our brothers with this article but legitimate sisters who have done nothing to deserve your contempt, except maybe lack the economical and social graces you feel are worthy of a sister who 'deserve' a white man. The point of dating anyone is to simply be you. That includes 'the round the way girl'. Your article is not as subtly lady like as you presume yourself to be. I have been the poor girl on the sixteenth floor. The college girl in the dorm. The pampered wife in the ridiculously big house. I am mother, sister, and at times even whore. All black women understand that our skin doesn't change but our circumstances do. Don't judge Lakeisha for being Lakeisha or Tyrone for being Tyrone. They have valid experiences and advice.

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  13.   Giona says:
    Posted: 17 May 14

    Hi, I think no matter what race you are and who you want to date the most important thing is to be yourself and don't try to be anyone else.

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  14.   mariana70 says:
    Posted: 16 May 14

    Hi, I would like to know what Christelyn and all of you think about the prejudices towards white women dating black men. Is there anyone who doesn't think that it's mostly for the dimension of their "sex"? Do black men think that it's possible a white woman respects and loves them and phisical attraction isn't always the main reason she wants to have a black Husband?

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  15.   K_Renee says:
    Posted: 14 May 14

    I'm a black woman who grew up in lower to middle class areas so what has been available to me is the "stereotypical black man". I love men in general so I say its not about where you're from itself about who you are. I'm a queen and should he treated like one despite where I came from. Take me as I am and I'll love you for who you are.

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    • Kwena. says:
      Posted: 18 Jul 14

      Confussing :( hi could you kindly elaborate!! Quoted "You are from a lower to middle class area, so what has been available to you is a widely held but fixed and oversimplified image (stereotypical man) type of person/man. But you love man in general. Do you like the man in your lower/middle class area? If yes why label them as man who are fixed thinkers/stereotype? True that, you are a queen, from a lower, mide class area. So I think its also fair, to not classify you make counterparts as stereotyped.

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    • Kwena. says:
      Posted: 18 Jul 14

      Male counterpart.

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  16.   cakelady1 says:
    Posted: 12 May 14

    Whose idea is it to post these articles? They are either racist or bashing black men or black women. They perpetuate stereotyping of what white men think (wrong) or what black women think (wrong). In my opinion, she has a tendency to post these articles on her website and she gets a lot of negative responses (black man bashing) which is her way of getting back at the black men who have wronged her somehow. I have not be on her site because it say Beyond Black and White but it seems it is a place to vent about black men. Most mature men and it doesn't matter what color would know how to approach women. I tend to air on the side that men are smarter and would not listen to someone that would give them negative advice.

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    • Mosiah7 says:
      Posted: 18 Sep 15

      Thank you, cakelady1. I've noticed the same thing too, not just here but on many other interracial sites. If she wants to date a white man, she can have one. And if she is that unhappy I hope she finds the man she desires. But I don't like it either when some interracial daters (both men and women) feel the need to bash the opposite gender of their own race and act like they were somehow forced into IR dating due to lack of good options within their ethnicity. The truth is most of them had secret attractions for other races to begin with. People should just go about their business and be with who they want without all the negative bashing. The world would be a better place.

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  17.   lorac says:
    Posted: 07 May 14

    If you think you need pointers to approach someone outside your race then you have a complex you need to deal with first. Black, White, Asian etc...you just need to be yourself and seek out qualities you are looking for and go for it. Everyone loves the same way regardless of their skin color.

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  18.   pete491 says:
    Posted: 04 May 14

    I've dated black and white women and I've acted the same with either , be yourself and above all be honest , the minute you start to alter who u are honesty is out and eventually so will the relationship

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  19.   Mat75 says:
    Posted: 03 May 14

    This article is perpetuating more stereotypical rascist bullshit. Sure there is some truth in there but other wise its alot of sensationalism. lol white guys have big penises and small penises and some in between. Same with black guys. Healthy people are looking for someone who are themselves and not trying to be anything other than that.

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  20.   mzjaye404 says:
    Posted: 02 May 14

    how about this.... start a conversation... get to know her interests and see if you have those in common... if there is chemistry incorporate said likes and interests in a mutual shared activity and then if your chemical make up form mutual internal combustion reactions then you've done well... If not back to the drawing board at least you've tried.

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  21.   LoveMyJeans says:
    Posted: 18 Apr 14

    Even though I don't really agree with the WAY Ms. Karazin expressed herself in the article (the odd names were REALLY unnecessary), I do understand the point she is trying to make. As a black female who dates white males, I am not looking for a white guy who acts like a black guy. I want him to be HIMSELF. He doesn't have to like rap (I don't), sag his jeans (that is soooo not sexy), wear his hat with the bib to the side (really!), have a gold tooth (just NO!) or any of the other stereotypical BS that is portrayed as being a black male. I want to get to know the man that he is and for him to get to know me. So if you approach me genuinely, you will receive a genuine response. That's my two-cents...LOL

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  22.   Ms_LQ says:
    Posted: 14 Apr 14

    Honestly this article is as equally disgusting to me as the article he/she was trying to discredit. In an effort to challenge one writer from generalizing this person did his/her own version of generalization. I read this article with a side eye because it was laced with several.. quite disgusting references. But that's just my opinion. I hope the white guys who approach me have read neither article because they don't represent me or my approach/expectations with interracial dating.

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  23.   32bookworm says:
    Posted: 06 Apr 14

    I don't always agree with the author of this post, but I do this time. White guys, if you take the PUA's advice about dating Black women, you will only attract one type of women; one who fits all the negative stereotypes. BW are not a monolith. I a lot us hate what is called 'swagger'. I think it's over the top bravado. A confident man whose secure in his masculinity does not have to do much more than be himself and be respectful of all women to be attractive to me. If you want a BW with some 'hood' in her, or some such nonsense, by all means listen to his advice and you will get her! Later on don't complain of all the negatives that come with dating stripper Ebony et all. Later on don't try to date mainstream BW and bring all of your chaos from previous relationships to her. I'm a mainstream BW who has read extensively on Black history. I know about not so famous accomplishments that my ancestors have made to this country. Several generations of my family have sacrificed in defense of this country. I read "Black Enterprise" and other periodicals faithfully so that I can celebrate recent accomplishments of my ethnic group. These are some of the ways that I celebrate my culture and it's unique and unmatched contribution to the American dream. These are things that upwardly mobile BW do. Having some 'hood' in her does not a BW make. I find it insulting when people say things like that. But I always say: You reap what you sow. I give all men; but especially White men, a wide berth when they say things like that. IOWs, don't come at me with this 'hood' and 'swagger' bullshyt! I ain't having it! I'm a lady and I DEMAND to be treated as such. I wish more BW would have the courage to stand up and resist these crazy stereotypes.

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    • DebzR says:
      Posted: 07 Jun 14

      Some of us do have standards and they WILL be honored. Keep the faith.

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    • DiosaNegra76 says:
      Posted: 10 Mar 17

      Just joined this site. I don't even KNOW if you are still here, but......Y.E.S. Let me tell you, I've seen this kind of behaviour way too much for far too long. My favorites are the guys who, when you say something that ISN'T "stereotypically BF", they act shocked!

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  24.   Geetih says:
    Posted: 06 Apr 14

    haha.everyone is different.case closed.

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  25.   Cocoa_elixir says:
    Posted: 04 Apr 14

    Lol this is on point!

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  26.   TarzansJane says:
    Posted: 29 Mar 14

    Ok. So as an educated older female let me say that what people are calling "hood" may be in fact directness, honesty, and a no b..s... attitude to foolish annoying ideals, people, or situations. I have no problem with this as long as the directness is not mean, disrespectful or catty. It's generally called communication. Usually works when all involved parties participate. Truthfully, I have dated men who had friends that questioned why we were together because my looks didn't match what they thought their friend usually liked. I've dated men who were not the "handsomest" thing in the room, but treated me so well that other men and women took notice. I think it is a very simple matter of what you like and what appeals to you and treating MEN and WOMEN as RESPECTED PEOPLE and not stereotypes. Any honest man who walks up to me, looks me in the eye, smiles, introduces himself and then makes himself plain to me has my immediate attention. I believe it really is as simple as that. Being who you say you are and having a sense of self, confidence, and humor helps.

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    • 32bookworm says:
      Posted: 04 Apr 14

      Ummm, no I have to disagree. Hood rat behavior is the "acting black" crew. It's always crass, in your face, and not suitable for mainstream society. You can be confident and honest without resorting to hoodrat behavior. It's called tact. I've met plenty of guy, of all races who question my 'blackness' because I tend to be more mainstream and ladylike. A lot them claim to want a 'little hood' in their ladies, just like neon1 laid it out. Hoodrat behavior will always bite people in their orbits a$$. I've known educated 'hoodrats' who have cheated, stolen, and lied to their husbands, both Black and White men. How do I know this? Because divorced wm will tell me why their marriages broke up on the first couple of dates. They married educated bw, who can hold down a job, a decent conversation, but still have hoodrat tendencies. These tendencies destroyed their marriages. What trips me out is that I see a pattern in their past relationships and immediately can tell why they don't work out. I just laugh because if that is what they want, relationship/baby mama drama/and ugly divorces are what they will get. I'm just being real here. For the life of me, I don't know why Black women love to claim this 'hoodrat' label as something to be proud of. Josephine Baker, Dorothy Dandride, Lena Horn and all the classy BW of earlier eras were always ladylike and demure. And all of these ladies had relationships and married successful White men.

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      • mzjaye404 says:
        Posted: 02 May 14

        Dorothy Dandrige married Jack Dennison a seedy Vegas club owner that used to beat her and swindled her out of her earnings. Lena Horne married her manager as a business decision...Dorothy parlayed openly with Otto Preminger a married man.(How is that ladylike or demure) When it comes to black women no woman is the same, but we love to hold each other down with labels based on color, class, whether we are natural or relaxed. Aren't we marginalized enough now we have to do it to ourselves? Maybe that "hood" chick is a sum total of her experiences and was not given the opportunity to experience otherwise because before she could even open her mouth she was already dismissed by someone that is "regular black" or "nerdy black" that could have enlightened her on things outside of her way of life. I've seen it and experienced it. Toxic and dysfunctional transcends class, remember that.

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        • 32bookworm says:
          Posted: 04 May 14

          No one is a perfect lady. Their public personas represented BW in a completely different and infinite better light than the average current crop of BW singers/actresses. ex. Beyonce is so far removed from the grace and culture Dorothy Dandridge consistently presented to the world in her time. For you to not understand the difference shows me that my comments are lost on you. Good luck defending the indefensible hood rat crew. I don't defend or claim they are representative of all BW, though they may be representative of you. Just shows me the primary opposers of presenting BW as humane and with goals and values like every other woman to the world mainly consists of other BW! That's why Black America is splintering. BW like me do not want to associate with those who defend and uplift underclass behaviors. African American culture is so much more than hip hop. Hip Hop has co-opted our culture and twisted it into some hideous caricature of what it once was. Hoodrat behavior plays into the hip-hop stereotypes of AA's.

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        • 32bookworm says:
          Posted: 04 May 14

          Btw you're the one who is linking crass behavior to social and economic classes in your last sentence, not me . I'm specifically referring to behavior patterns people mean when they pull out the 'hood' label. I've meant plenty of Black (and other) people from all socioeconomic stations that act 'hood'.

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      • Charlie5000 says:
        Posted: 22 May 14

        Everyone us not a Dorothy or a Lena. These women did great things in a difficult time, but they were famous do to there lack of 'blackness' or what blackness is perceived to be. I think you have bought into the stereotype and so use the term hood rat to set yourself apart. You don't have to prove your not by saying those that are different are. I am a bit older than you and remember when the term came out. It was about girls who like to date guys with nice cars. It silly then and is silly now. Don't take it personally. To make it person ask is to make you angry.

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        • 32bookworm says:
          Posted: 24 May 14

          Well, I'm over 35 so I know EXACTLY how the term has evolved to it's present day usage. I think you are threatened by any Black woman who refuses to go along with the ABC crew's 'status quo' of defending all things perceived to be 'Black'. You're deliberately misconstruing upholding decent behavior standards with 'setting oneself apart from other Black folks'. Your argument is the same old claptrap Black people have been spouting for decades to keep all Black folks in line. And look where the collective is now. Being proud of your African-American heritage does not automatically include incorporating hood rat behaviors into your lifestyle. In fact, it's the exact opposite in my opinion. But you can stay in the collectives' approved 'Black sphere of acceptable behavior' if you want to. I won't be joining you. That's standing for your own principles, not setting oneself apart from other Black folks. All the above ladies I mentioned identified themselves as African-American. Hence they represented our womanhood in a more feminine, gracious light. Unlike the overall present day group of famous AABW. with some exceptions like the Scandal actress (can't think of her name right now) most famous BW are the typical updated versions of the same old stereotypes--jezebel, sapphire, mammy, etc. And let's really be real here. Due to the colorism in our community present day famous Black folks are always eager to claim other races and ethnicities in addition to their oblivious BLACk heritage in the hopes of minimizing their Blackness. Specifically their AA heritage. Has the average skin shade of a famous AA woman changed significantly in the last 50-60 years? And they are quick to capitalize on that to boost their status from 'regular' Black folk. So your argument about the Len, Dorothy Dandridge can be applied to Beyonce, Mariah Carey, Prince, etc. IOWs it's bull. BTW, I'm not angry. I'm PROUD to be AA and I will be till the day I die! In the few instances where people (mostly white women) try to throw me a backhanded compliment or throw shade by insisting I must be 'mixed' because I 'speak so well' or carry myself like a lady; I'm quick to correct them and let them know AABW come in all shades of Black and all types of personalities and demeanors. We are so much more than what people see on tv or the ABC's show the world.

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          • Elusivelove says:
            Posted: 20 Jul 14

            Scandal actress? Is it Kerry Washington? You clearly make the best case & argument in this ridiculous forum Ms bookworm. I think the problem you and the rest here are really having is that you all were born too late, and grew up during a time when common sense had gone and clearly left the building. Any old school baby boomers would know that Ms bookworm is the closest to any reasonable thinking here. Elusivelove

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  27.   neon1 says:
    Posted: 20 Mar 14

    There are some comments I agree with in this article I rememmber when I was a young white male at the age of 19 who wanted to explore out side his own race. However Ihave dated just about every type of black girls you mention and I gotta admit it is important to have swag. Persoanlly I prefer a Strong educated black woman but she has to have a little hood in her. But I have to agree with the person below me dont show up with a variety of friends because youre showing up with your competitikn. Just be yourself be true to who you are if you arent hood please dont try to be girls can spot it a mile away. And not evey black woman wants a man with snap backs ok. As far as the jungle bunny fever comment dont treat her like that she is still very much a woman. Though the sex might be great in that aspect she will catch on and you will look stupid. I have been lucky enough to find a woman that has never dated outside her race and turn them out on to black men. Because believe it or not some do believe all white men have small penises and to some that is a turn off. For those who beleieve that its very much not true quit being so closed minded. I personally am one of those guys who simply wont date his own race the truth is im not attracted in the slightest to a white woman and men there are black weman that feel the same way. But thw best advice I can give you is if youre a white man and you have never dated a black woman and you want to. Develop talking and listening skills be a good talker and be persuasive and listen to her because she will know real quick if youre listening or if youre just tryn to tap that ass. And if you are just tryn to tap that ass to see what a black girl is all about please do me a favor and dont. You give good guys like me a hell of a bad rep. Thanks for reading.

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    • 32bookworm says:
      Posted: 26 Mar 14

      "Persoanlly I prefer a Strong educated black woman but she has to have a little hood in her" -WTF! Thanks for being so honest, because I know there are plenty of white guys who feel the same way. These are the same white guys who I don't want to waste any time on. They are ALWAYS hitting me up on this site. I have NO 'hood', NO 'attitude and I love it! I'm mostly a happy go lucky gal. Most educated bw will not have any hood in them. A lot of us value the same things most middle class Americans value, so we're not much different from any other woman. You would probably have better luck picking up a black chick on the corner.

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      • blackbelle01 says:
        Posted: 22 May 16

        You are right Strong educated Black Women do not have a little hood in them. I have never been to the hood and never will. The closest I have been to the hood was the one time I watched Good Times on TV lol. I was brought up in a Middle Class environment and I know nothing about that type of life style.

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    • Josy90 says:
      Posted: 20 May 14

      Well said.

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  28.   janie81 says:
    Posted: 19 Mar 14

    Okay, I tend to hold my breath and walk away from these articles but this advice: * A white guy’s best bet is to approach a black woman with a diverse group of friends (which is spot on since that’s the advice we give black women to signal non-black guys that they’re open to getting to know them socially and perhaps, eventually romantically). One subsequent commenter even went so far as to advise white guys to stay far, far away from black women who self-segregate. I may be black, but I'm a person. Due guys know what type of women they are dealing with just because she has a bunch of diverse 'looking' friends. I , personally , would be put off. Why? Well for a few reasons: who is really trying to talk to me? Whose attention should I be focused on? And if, said guy isn't the most interesting or out going or funny, or whatever may be attractive to me, he pretty much just gave me his competition to look at. Look, I wouldn't look at someone in the Scifi section of a video or book store; dessert aisle in the grocery store and rule them out, so why would you choose something else as superficial. Again, I am black, it's a very big part of who I am, but it's not the only defining aspect of who I am. Come on now.

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  29.   1hombrebueno says:
    Posted: 16 Mar 14

    This interesting article made me chuckle a bit although I was thinking about how if I joked about those Black names I'd be considered a racist. Christelyn didn't hold back.

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  30.   cocoaNcreme says:
    Posted: 15 Mar 14

    Could be that they (black men) don't want us but they don't want any other ethnicity to have us either

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