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Lost Lust

Posted by Ria, 29 Dec

What happens when she wants it more than he does and he simply can’t keep up?

Most women believe this to be the deal: Men think about sex every time an attractive enough woman walks by – and since this happens many times a day, I’d say every time. Men are always depicted as the overtly sexual beings who have no qualms with getting it every day, all day, all the time (if it weren’t for work and women’s ‘I have a headache’ put off).

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I must admit that it is almost impossible to come across a man that doesn’t portray himself as anything less than a stud. Go online and before you know it, he is telling you how you haven’t had the real thing until you have it with him.

Conclusion: Men have a very high sex drive.

Well, that is what we all like to believe – until you hook up with one of the 36% found to be suffering from low sex drive according to a study published by the Journal of the American Medical Association. And he won’t tell you … this is the number one ‘find out later’ stuff – all your seduction tactics just don’t work on him.

I remember a pal of mine once thought she was sexy no more after dating- not one but two - men successively; who after pulling all seduction tactics in the book, preferred to cuddle and sleep rather than get down like that. Night after night, week after week, she sighed and settled for the cuddle.

The thing is, just because of the common belief that men are always ready for a roll in the hay, most women think they are attractive no more when this happens… that they can no longer rock their men’s worlds. At the same time, his low sex drive isn’t an easy subject for a man to discuss.

Well, if your man doesn’t have some medical reason, or it isn’t drugs and alcohol that’s affecting his libido, then maybe he’s just not that into you – move on. Somewhere out there is a man who will love yanking those panties off. Go find him.

So how do you deal with Mr. Perfect in every way but the sex department? Sex toys? Oral sex?

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22 responses to "Lost Lust"

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  1.   womaninga says:
    Posted: 04 May 10

    I like snazzy's reply.

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  2.   Maxhb says:
    Posted: 06 Mar 10

    There is a difference between high sex drive (that is inspiration and desire) and stamina. Recovery endurance are different for all kinds of reasons from medication to condition. I've found that what is usually called chemistry has a lot to do with it. if I am really tuned in to a partner and she to me, sex goes great. We want each other are affectionate, and in every way, every experience is a sensual one. On the other hand, we need to appreciate each other and not take each other for granted. We need to bring excitement and desire to the bedroom instead of expecting something from it. We also need to appreciate that each is not always physically up for it or emotionally so. And in that case, we are there for each other, and our pleasure comes from making them feel desired, appreciated. If I dont stay hard a long time or repeat that is no reflection on her. A lot has to do with me on at that time or with how we are relating otherwise. Sex is an intimate form of communication. The better the rapport the better the sex.

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  3.   lizzy2005 says:
    Posted: 21 Jan 10

    Respect is a two way street! If both partners in a relationship are open and honest regarding each other's sexual needs, wants and desires then the result should be both are 'satisfied'. Communication is very important. Gone are the days when a women had to 'satisfy her man' at the expense of her own satisfaction.

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  4.   maymiedoll says:
    Posted: 19 Jan 10

    36%????? Can't imagine the situation--just can't grasp it. My belief is that if a woman is treating her man with the respect he deserves and placing his esteem into her very careful care, the problem should be non-existant. Low sex drive? Nahhhhh. Just damaged self-esteem from lack of ability to relate.

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  5.   WHURR says:
    Posted: 11 Jan 10

    @BROWNCLOWN You said , "a man whose sex drive was lower than mine would be very difficult to handle." You made a funny...get it..'sex drive' difficult to 'handle'...get it.. handle his sex drive....get it you said you couldn't handle his....... AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH forget it!

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  6.   thick_lover says:
    Posted: 07 Jan 10

    Lost lust is extremely complex issue. it's headspace. or blood pressure. Take your picks. It hit both men & women. However some people have different levels of lust. Part of finding your partner is find similar levels and pray they stay the same year after year after year. Cheers to all those who lost lust with the hopes of refinding it!

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  7.   takinitall says:
    Posted: 07 Jan 10

    Happy New Year Everyone! Ok now to the topic at hand. I think women are far more emotional than men. Women are in love with the idea of being in love. Sometimes a man's kindness is misinterpreted for love or a relationship. But the guys aren't innocent in this either. As a man you dictate the relationship. Be straight with women and let them know what you want. Ladies accept what the man says rather it's what we want to hear or not.

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  8.   brownclown says:
    Posted: 05 Jan 10

    A man whose sex drive was lower than mine would be very difficult to handle.

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  9.   Snazzybella says:
    Posted: 05 Jan 10

    @passion025 Ehhh, I was just joking. Lighten up????

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  10.   WHURR says:
    Posted: 05 Jan 10

    Passion025 Ummm, that was a joke. Read my profile. For you to say that you 'doubt' it was a joke, says you think you know me... I don't know you. It was obviously a joke, as was her comment! SIGHHHHH ... same old same old different year I see!!

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  11.   Passion025 says:
    Posted: 04 Jan 10

    WHURR: How is Snazzy gross and you're not??? You want a different woman every day of the week! You are hoeing yourself around, unless you were just joking, which I doubt it.

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  12.   LakeLouise says:
    Posted: 04 Jan 10

    You have to decide if you can live with an unsatisfactory sex life. Of course, if your guy is one of those rare one's that will allow you to help or make suggestions and will visit the doctors etc. then that is a good start. If not, then God help you, it'll be a bumpy journey at the very least.

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  13.   Jade74 says:
    Posted: 02 Jan 10

    HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL

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  14.   WHURR says:
    Posted: 02 Jan 10

    Snazzy thats pretty gross!! I believe in alternating women, sort of like your explanation, however I am a bit more conservative than you. I try to have a different woman for any day of the week that ends in d-a-y. I don't want to hoe myself around, so I set those limits to make it easy to follow!

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  15.   homesteader says:
    Posted: 02 Jan 10

    This comment for all members of this dating site ; Was teased here many years / found another who was Seriously looking . You want to talk about Desire , call it Lust if you Please . Ria who Presents these Blog Topic conversations , at another topic recently has told " she is still alone / Maybe if she changes her ways this year will prosper for her also " I knot having waisted my time when an offer came to pass . Enjoy life Together with my wife / knot Alone . Give your Hearts to one and help him to Desire what you have to offer / Make his Desires come True Or be Picky and sleep alone or with many - I think they have a Name for that kind of Ladie . If you were to find and stay with one maybe you wood knot still be Looking and Alone . Remember there are things out in the air you may knot want to Catch ( Remember yesterdays case out upset stomach and headache , total discomfort due to Wine FLU ) / Variety [ fore ] someday you may read about some itching on the field of play . If those girls are that easy to Desire a married man they probably have had many others . My question wood be how many have they slept with before him as they must Be Easy Lays to openly chase a Married man ? Change hands when you scratch that itch / Alternate Hehe . Men regardless of Surveys are no Different than Women in the Desire for True Love / Hours at a time -often as Possible , Hehe . Whurr wrote 1700 surveyed and over ten years ago / the World has Billions of people . Like counting ants from a satelite photo this Blog topic .

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  16.   homesteader says:
    Posted: 01 Jan 10

    Snazzybella : Then they would be complaining about you the same as / conversations about the Great Golf Pro .

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  17.   Afrodytee says:
    Posted: 01 Jan 10

    Hopefully the person’s that have these issues are with partners, that are not doing the blame game but are more supportive, with good imaginations to try something different, become someone different if need be. Medical Hypertension (high blood pressure) will cause that in men, Diabetes is another one, in which case double check your medications side effects. Well listed by WHURR To all a HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

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  18.   Snazzybella says:
    Posted: 31 Dec 09

    U get yourself two men, and alternate.

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  19.   homesteader says:
    Posted: 31 Dec 09

    Thank you WHURR ; 1999 , I was in my prime / Set on Cruise Control alas alone most of the time . Columnist is 10 years behind in Journals . Some are slow / yet in this Race it does knot matter what number you finish as long as you feel like Number One in the end . " On the Road Again " MEDICAL CONDITIONS MAY SLOW THE ACTIONs / ALAS THE THOUGHTS WILL ALWAYS BE ON TIME , Equipment in Fine Shape [ Polish Dill knot Sweet Gerkin ] . And Married Men do knot sleep alone , Hehe . Ria / if you make to proper New Years Resolutions , you may find someone in 2010 . This dating site worked for Us / Get serious .

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  20.   WHURR says:
    Posted: 30 Dec 09

    The study is from 1999 and you left out one very important detail..... SIGHHHHH Its women 41% and men 31%. Embellishments suck!! Women were reported to be at 41% for the same exact thing. Some doctors were actually estimating that the number might be as high as 43%. There were 1700 women who responded, So now maybe we should flip the script here!! Men, how do we deal with Ms. Perfect in every way but the sex department? Especially since .....miraculously left out of the whole story....she is one of the 41% and possibly 43%.... that have lost lust! The reasons for men according to the study were: Obvious medical conditions Drop in income Kids at home Stress from spouse Hmmmmm????? Just trying to keep it real as I always do when studies get quoted. I read the source and share the realities!

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  21.   kngcecil2000 says:
    Posted: 30 Dec 09

    I find this conclusion unimaginably bizarre. I just can't wrap my brain around it.

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  22.   homesteader says:
    Posted: 30 Dec 09

    Ria ; Love you , I've read about " Jungle Fever " from members , Sometimes Size Matters from others -Blessed . But " Panties " ? - Are we talking Enticement ? Short Skirt and Lack of Starts this Scenic Tour into the Journey ( Flash him ) . Some Lick Hair down there and after shower Together ( Two clean persons make for a Magnificent Foreplay ) - Loose ones shall fall to Drain Screen . Clean Tools make for a Neater Job done and Mutual Foreplay in the Oral Department make one Stiff and the other Lubricated Properly . Are We talking sex ? Knot Perfect / Older Experienced and told Sex Drive was overly inflated in Younger years . Got to be Discreet / See you next-time Hehe . I am Married . Happy New Year to All / Enjoy Each Moment . Over-Indulgence of Alcoholic Beverages / May produce Curtain Climbers , be Safe . Read last Sentence / Question is ; Without 100% of two who Participate Fully is it Love ? or just sex ? Personally about 1 or 2 percent of the Day , I do Think about other things and Heck soon to be 62 , LOL . And you can take that to the Bank , Hehe .

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