Menu
Swirling with Christelyn Karazin

The art of attraction isn't just about colour or creed, it's about chemistry and a whole bunch of other things. Swirling author Christelyn Karazon discusses.

QOTW: "Are black women who date online seen as easy prey to white men???"

Posted by Christelyn, 25 Oct

I got this question from a fan of my You Tube channel. I have a lot to say about this, and will most likely do a follow up video, but I thought it would be a good time to engage some of our regulars in a forum format to discuss. Here goes:

Find your soulmate on AfroRomance

Join Free

Hi Chris I’m a black female who has dated interracially from the start. I’ve been using unpaid online dating sites for years now. I have had absolutely no luck! The men I’ve encountered are disgusting. They don’t get passed two emails without them asking for nude photos!

I am a fairly conservative women and have no ideal what would give these guys the ideal that I’m some sort of slut. Since I’m black and they’re white I often wonder if the treatment I’m receiving is due to the over sexualization of black women in general. I feel like these men wouldn’t dare treat a white woman so distastefully. I am also full-figured and wonder if they just feel like I’m desperate or something. In any case I still worry that race is a factor. I really expected white guys to had a more conservative approach.

Can you please do a response video. And shed some light on this for women like me? Maybe I’m being hypersensitive. Or maybe I’m on to something..You be the judge. Do white male swirlers see black women as sluts?

Christelyn Karazin is the co-author of Swirling: How to Date, Mate and Relate, Mixing Race, Culture and Creed. She also operates the popular blog, Beyond Black & White, and operate the first forum dedicated to black women interested and/or involved in interracial relationships.

Related Stories

More Swirling Articles

14 responses to "QOTW: "Are black women who date online seen as easy prey to white men???""

Leave a reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.

  1.   David0559 says:
    Posted: 05 Dec 18

    I have no problem dating Black or White women and would never ever ask for naughty photos that only puts off the nice dates. White men are often preferred by black women because they usually have more money and generally treat them better, look at this dating site a high proportion of black women are asking for white dates. I am looking at the older dates 30 plus that's personal preference , it is only a date no more what happens in the next few weeks determines any relationship

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  2.   Naturall360 says:
    Posted: 29 Nov 18

    My experience has not been great lately. When I first started dating interracially (approximately 10 years ago), i met White men who seem to have some dating etiquette. I believe with the influx of black/latina women dating interracially, White men have choices--supply and demand. I also believe that a lot of black/latina women have added to how White men have started viewing women of color. Many men have advised me of young/middle/old age women asking for money up front as pay for play; sending nude photos as a means to entice men; asking for money to pay bills etc. It is no different than dating a Black men. Black men became extinct so there was a supply and demand. Competition for these black men led to things my Mom would never have done. This does not excuse behavior but it just promotes bad behavior on the other side. Sad to say but after while there will be few choices of good men--regardless of race.

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  3.   Synt says:
    Posted: 19 Aug 18

    Thank you for asking this! (Btw, did he respond with a video? I don't see it) I've tried unpaid dating sites and then upgraded to paid and I swear..the men have No clue what to talk about. I dont like the nerdy responses: " I have white boy rhythm" "Do you like white guys" I post in my profile that I'm a dancer and I post that race is not an issue. So...I see that guys do not read. And they don't care.

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  4.   kindacowboy says:
    Posted: 14 Jan 18

    I met my wife online. She certainly never was considered easy prey nor was she. She made sure of that

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  5.   CherriPi7 says:
    Posted: 15 Nov 17

    I also have a story....

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  6.   blackbelle01 says:
    Posted: 22 Oct 17

    Who knows. I feel that you have to be careful and notice the warning signs. I have met some good and not so great guys from paid and unpaid sites. Although chances are better if you go to a paid site to meet someone. Unless you are trying to meet someone in another State or Country it might be best to do it the old fashioned way and get out and meet people.

    Like or Dislike: or 0 (0)
    Reply to this comment
  7.   CaliDuchess says:
    Posted: 18 Oct 17

    I haven't had that experience as much now as I did when I first started. Unpaid sites are the only places I've actually experienced this. I have seen the same men on several sites, but I think paying does change the dynamics. I've also tried the unpaid app based ones this past summer and went on several dates with great potential mates.

    Like or Dislike: or 0 (0)
    Reply to this comment
  8.   DC- says:
    Posted: 17 Sep 17

    Probably only online and nothing beyond the first phone call. Some of these same men will never approach a Black woman in person.

    Like or Dislike: or 0 (0)
    Reply to this comment
  9.   Pompv says:
    Posted: 30 Jan 17

    I have a story too!

    Like or Dislike: or 0 (0)
    Reply to this comment
  10.   MonaSweet68 says:
    Posted: 29 Jan 17

    I am experiencing the same thing so I just delete and block.....

    Like or Dislike: or 0 (0)
    Reply to this comment
  11.   Brunsugah says:
    Posted: 24 Jan 17

    I've often wondered the same thing when I've had a email from a man which is just so out there in its approach - it leaves me wondering 'where did that come from?' I ignore these type of messages and only reply to guys who show from the start that they have respect. I think you will always get some guys who try it on but the best thing we can do is delete and block.

    Like or Dislike: or 0 (0)
    Reply to this comment
    • NewYorkGent says:
      Posted: 01 Mar 17

      Always follow your instincts. Anyone who sends a message that is inappropriate or disrespectful is a big red flag.

      Like or Dislike: or 0 (0)
      Reply to this comment

Swirling

Find your soulmate on AfroRomance

Join Free

Coaching Testimonial

"My online love inspiration angel"

Submitted by: Patricia, USA, 21

To be honest, in the beginning, I thought it would be a waste of time. But since I've never seen a similar service in any other dating site, I decided to give it a try.

I always "thought" my profile was on point and I did not need any help to correct my page. I always had in my profile if someone is not attracted to my profile, then that's "their" loss.

BOY WAS I WRONG!!

I will never forget my first time using the Coaching Service I was introduced to my personal Dating Coach. Let me put it this way, if it was not for her I would have given up long time ago (even though I'm a new member).

She taught me so many things and gave me good advice, I did not want to stop chatting with her at all.

She opened my eyes to many possibilities when finding love. She is definitely an inspiration and I appreciate a whole lot. She is more than a Dating Coach to me; she is more of a close friend/guide to me. She is definitely my "online love-inspiration angel".

Find out more

Most Popular

Your Comments

Site links