Real reasons why men call it quits
"Why the F*** did he dump me? I was always there for him."
Well below are some reasons to consider. These don’t apply to every breakup or every woman though. If these don’t apply to you, you could always blame it all on him ;)
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1. Apparently, women don’t give men the chance to talk. When our men start talking, we always have something to say and take over the conversation without listening. Sometimes, this makes a guy feel as though he doesn’t know what he is talking about. I remember once, a guy brought up something I had done that had annoyed him. Before he knew it, he was the one on the wrong. Much as men aren’t always right, it pays to at least give them airtime and see where they are coming from. It’s a relationship and not a taking competition. Listen before you are forced to listen to him saying goodbye.
2. Women talk to their friends a lot and we tend to follow our friends’ advice a little too much. Yes, we need our girls close. But when you let your single girlfriends run your relationship – girlfriends who have no clue what being in a committed relationship is, but constantly make you feel like crap for being in one – that’s opening all doors and windows for trouble. If you expect your man to have a mind of his own when he is out with the boys, why not have a mind of your own when you are with the girls? Talk to the girls even if it’s about your man. But sieve well what you decide to bring back from those girl talks.
3. And while still on the thought of friends, don’t drag your family into it either. Don’t think your man is trying to kidnap you away from your family though. Best thing to do is to keep what goes on between the two of you, between the two of you. That’s why they call you a couple and not a gang. We women have the habit of running to our moms and sisters with every single argument. You know what will happen, they will bi***. And even after patching things up with your man, they will bi*** some more … in front of the guy too. And you still wonder why he doesn’t like hanging around them :roll:
4. Some guy once told me: “Hon, we aren’t conjoined twins.” Well doing stuff on your own is what makes the time you spend with your man special. Do things with your girls and stop dragging him along. Men don’t like to listen to a bunch of women talking about shoes, hair and bi***ing about which man is cheating on who. And as one guy simply puts it: “Just shoot us first, if that's the case.”
5. Try not to treat your man like he is on parole … expecting him to give an account of where he was, what time and who he was with. Trust is good for every relationship. And if you don’t trust him, humor him by pretending you do. A man who has done nothing that warrants all the interrogation won’t be around much longer… and who wants to be around someone who is soooo insecure anyway?
6. Apparently being independent is great… to an extent. If you keep telling and showing your man that you can do everything on your own, he ends up feeling that he is only being kept around for the sex. Weird huh! Well, it’s called the male ego… and men love to have their egos fed and stroked a bit.
7. Then comes the flip side - Being too dependent aint good either. (Make up your darn minds guys :lol: ) Thing is, men like a chick who can take care of her sh** but still has some hole in her life for a man to fill (not that hole ... get your mind off the gutter). Ladies, don’t be going to your man for everything. He may call you “baby”, but you aint a baby. Take charge of your own life and be making your own decisions before you drive him into making the decision never to come back.
8. Do you have to bi*** all the time? So, your dude messes up from time to time; you want to tell me there is nothing good he does? Then why you with him? Ladies, props from time to time don’t hurt. No one loves being criticized all the time. Give the dude a break gal.
9. Why do most women dwell in the past when we know too well that there’s no future in the past? Everyone makes mistakes. Best thing we can do is learn from those mistakes and not live in them. If your man makes a mistake and you forgive him, much as some things are hard to forget, don’t bring it up. Stop beating him over the head with it. And if you keep bringing the past up, then here is a lesson for you: learn to live with your man in the past too – as an EX
10. Last but not least, his friends wont always be yours but don’t make him quit his friends. He knew them before he met you. Much as they may not be well behaved, he knows them better than you do. Don’t keep reminding him what a player his friend is. He knows this already. Such reminders only show how insecure you really are and how much you don’t trust him to make the right choices when he is with his player friends. If being with his friends isn’t affecting your relationship in any way, why bother? Don’t let the actions of his friends influence your relationship.
I know this isn’t a complete list but I hope it helps most of us ladies. Have picked up a few things myself. Any other thoughts and advice you have to add is more than welcome. Feel free to disagree too.
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41 responses to "Real reasons why men call it quits"
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maymiedoll says:Posted: 22 Feb 10You know, I wasn't going to comment on this blog but I am just too deeply-compelled to use two words to sum up what both people in a relationship should feel. MUTUAL RESPECT Try practicing this with your mate and the reasons for breakups will not be in question. It totally blows me away to see many wonderful partners--men and women, alike, in one-sided relationships. Try a little empathy with each other also. Digging up bones and "under-the-belt," hits really hurt a lot more than the offender realizes he or she is inflicting. And every time the strike is felt, something is taken from the relationship--never to be recovered. THIS is the MAIN reason for breakups. I never understood the importance of inflicting pain on another individual, whether physical or mental. And remember; there are two kinds of love. One, being IN LOVE with what CAN or COULD BE and TRULY LOVING YOUR PARTNER for who they are and how they grew up.
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aliekatt68 says:Posted: 18 Feb 10I am so luvin this answer @Comment by CarolinaQT on 24 October 2009: Need I say more. Antiquated bull*&t jargon like this sets us back, because every WOMAN is not like this. I need my own space, so why would I not allow him to have his. I like to be trusted, so why would i not trust him. I don't like to be played or lied to, so why would I do the same.
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starchild says:Posted: 11 Jan 10I love the article alot of things you spoke on is very true.However communication is the key to every relationship.What apply's to him same for us.Although some men are not good listener's.Even if you gave him your ear to hear.And you could do all those things doesn't mean a person knows what they want in a reltionship.I really don't think most men do.Women want security and most don't secure.The three P's to a relationship are protect,provde and process which mean take claim for your women.First and foremost he has to know what it takes to make a reltionship work and if he isn't whole on his own before getting into one, then he isn't ready.Smae for a women.Complete is the answer for anyone to establish a healthy relationship.
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RAYNEDELAY says:Posted: 29 Dec 09
What the hell do men want? That's the question that should be asked and answered. Not that I really care anyhow. Just need a source of amusement. LOL
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RAYNEDELAY says:Posted: 29 Dec 09
Men really breakup when they meet another woman to upgrade with. THE END!
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homesteader says:Posted: 14 Dec 09
Got my directions backwards again / well Ria , What happens in Vegas - Stays in Vegas . Hehe / Easy come easy go . Sometimes you win sometimes you loss / alas you always have to play the game .
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homesteader says:Posted: 14 Dec 09
Question ; Ria , how can you a Woman know of the Reasons a Man would Leave ? unless they were your own history of lost men . Should not your personal thoughts be of why a Woman leaves a man . To help us Men learn of Our Mistakes before Our downfall in togetherness collapses around us . As always , I see things slowly ----- after reading and Investigating in my own mind . Slowly I turned , Hehe - Life behind me was as I had lived it . Alas with hope that I had learned alittle , Amen . The question being was it intensional done [ Mans' Bi-polar side } or with lack of knowledge of womens' thoughts that I had made these errors in Judgement ? All I would ask is Please don't interupt while I ramble on ; About Northern Africa being Flush with vegetation prior to the Egyptians cutting trees to roll them large stones in order to build the Pyramids / thus ending shade and allowing eroding by winds of dead grassy plains that the trees and hordes of workers pulling them had trampled in their journeys West , to roll up mounds of sand piles to construct these grave markers of the Kings . See , I do know of how they built them tall structures / Mathematics , Applied science and common sense . The wheel was mans' Greatest accomplishment . Now as the winds blow across them Hot barren Deserts headed East to the ocean to cause tropical depressions which form Hurricane winds to Devastate the American coasts . Don't blame God for the weather / blame the rich ruling class for destroying and making barren - Paradise as God created it . Marriages end because people grow in Distain of old habits that have never changed in their Mates . Repetition breeds Comtempt . Like the sands in the hourglass falling to the bottom of time spent in total Waste of Retirement years . LOL
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gjones66216 says:Posted: 13 Dec 09I found the list amusing and somewhat true. It does go both ways, but the title/subject is about men leaving women. Rather than pointing fingers, why not just take it as information, decide for yourself whether you are 'guilty' of these behaviors and decide if you want to continue them. After all, you can only control your own behaviors, right? My marriage ended because of 4 out of 10 of those items. Bottom line, we need to be sure that our partner is first and believes that he/she is first in our lives in a healthy way.
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shotgun007 says:Posted: 30 Nov 09
Bellara, I agree 100%. And speaking again directly about this Article, its a little archaic to me and overly one-sided. People should really learn to speak for THEIR experiences NOT for an entire group or generalizing a specific group. Break ups happen, but must it always be on the account of a “Nagging Woman”. Gimme a Break!
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Bellara says:Posted: 29 Nov 09
sounds like a lot of people on here enjoy blaming the blame game. i'm yet to find a man who will state truly and boldly that a relationship ended due to his shortcoming (s) or decision, it's always the girl's fault (we know how true that is). PS: am into men not women, which is why i didn't go on to say i'm yet to find a woman who will state truly... (so no attack is welcomed)! lol
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WHURR says:Posted: 20 Nov 09Most men call it quits when they find Q-Tips, use them, then wish they never cleaned their ears... yammeryammeryammeryammeryammer...then she said...yammeryammeryammeryammer............... Most dig through the garbage hoping the ear wax can be firmly planted back in the canal. Second option is taking a needle and piercing the eardrums!
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van21 says:Posted: 11 Nov 09Its good for a woman to know what they want in a relationship and to always watch what they say, learn how to listen.this way, there is no way you can go wrong.
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Jungle says:Posted: 11 Nov 09
You all can read 1-10 over and over again....Women communicate and a Real Man Reacts!
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Chasneeds says:Posted: 07 Nov 09
My last relationship ended with #2 and mostly #5 which did the most damage.Constant calls as to my where abouts and why I did not have my cell phone(ankle bracelet) every time I would leave the house. Her previous love cheated on her and I guess I was the one that was paying for it.
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Carro says:Posted: 06 Nov 09There is no 'list' when you find a true genuine and loving companion. Lydia-in-Jamaica
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Member says:Posted: 31 Oct 09
. ---@ party1- Good Morning, sir, to you! And thank you for your defense of (prettypepper) in this venue! I respect you for that. And I have apologized and do, again. The comment that had been originally referred to was removed for proprietary reasons; so we are now discussing a situation that no longer exists. Therefore I openly apologize to you, (prettypepper) and all of our host of subscribers, for openly attacking your comment and insulting you as a lady! I truly mean this, and I hope you will accept it in the humble way it is intended. I think you are a highly intelligent lady and individual. And being an individual that you clearly are, I respect your differing viewpoint and commend your openness and honesty! I believe you're sincere. Also,... I thoroughly agree with others who have stated that in their view, men are just as guilty of the crimes against romance; and often more so. I am not without fault here;... I think we have all made our share of regrettable mistakes in handling argumentative issues and other misgivings. While some are irreparable others can often be fixed, with the simple but profound honesty of admitting one's error and moving on to repair it. prettypepper: 1. I'm sorry 2. I was wrong 3. Please forgive me. You perhaps are not aware, that at the time the origional comments were made, .. your profile image showed the grayed image of a (man)--not the lady. There was no profile to go with the ghosted image; and ... you can only suspect what I was thinking. Here is a (???) !!! What the (****) @#%$*&@@!!!! I now realize it is not so, of course,... because this website got it right,... finally. And I now see that you were speaking as a woman--your view. And lest I offend anyone's personal slant on things, let me say that --a person's individual orientation is their own personal matter; not up for referendum. And you may be right in this respect; as others have also commented: the view expressed by Ria was based on her own personal experiences, just as she stated. The "we" part of her comments, may have been general feelings that others besides her may have also noted from (their) experiences. It is doubtful to me, that she, or any other person, no matter how credentialed he/she may be, could make a comment that fits every relationship globally. -At least not a "who's-always-right-or-wrong" type. We all know each relationship is unique. The one we have with each individual may or may not be similar. As a man, I am certain that I have made every single mistake in relationships that Ria ascribed to her experiences;... and I know I am not perfect. Blatantly blasting the originator of the original combative statement made (no removed) pertaining to this,.. was wrong on my part. I admit it. I was perhaps fierce against what I perceived as an unkind attack on the author for the way the article is slanted. My natural protective instincts rose. But I have learned not to take offense, unless I KNOW offense was intended,... and when it is,... consider the SOURCE. So I tried to do exactly that. Not knowing the identity of the person making the criticism,..I first went to the profile..the source. But there WAS no profile;-- only a MALE ghost image. Had I known it was a WOMAN making the comments, I am sure I would not have lashed out in that way. So,..I mistakingly, that...you know what I thought. And I was offended our host was being ....slugged pretty hard ...inappropriately. So I hit back. I'm not proud of it, and I'm genuinely sorry. But I would have come to the defense of anyone else just as quickly in such an instance. It's just my nature to protect and defend. So, Party1 and prettypepper and anyone else my comments offended, ..will you please forgive me? I jumped to conclusions and I was wrong. --and by the way,... I am not trying to hide my profile or my identity. You can find me easily. It's longer than the Missouri railroad from Arkansas to Iowa,... but I try to make sure you know me... and of course I give a lot of advice along the way. Well-earned, I might add. As for my picture being ghosted on this blog,... I have no idea why. I didn't request it;... but,... it's not (my) blog. Still.... I just want you to know I am not hiding from you. I am a man. I am a writer/musician and seminar coach,... and I am NEVER "wrong". LOL!! Love and Good will to all! WiseChoice. .
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laugh_sailor says:Posted: 31 Oct 09Here's two I find most common in women. I'd say probably 95% of women have one and 80% have both of these relationship-killing social habits: (1) Wow - You're so exciting! I'm going to pretend I like the things you do because you're just so exciting! But since I don't like them because they're too exciting, I'm going to discourage you from doing them so you're compatible with me and we don't have to do anything exciting! Isn't that going to be great? Be honest and look carefully within yourselves, women. If you find yourself thinking "He just needs to change this and he will want to when he's with me." Stop it! It only leads to misery! (2) You're nice, so you're shallow and a pushover. Because of this, you're thrown in the "friends" trashcan of dating but probably I'll snub. Well look who complains about not finding chivalrous men? You won't ever by treating us like dirt. For the 5% of good women communicators, please read no farther. It's an especially annoying communication habit because you're assuming all sorts of things that defeat your ability to find the traits you are looking for. Here's an example: A nice, modest guy performs an heroic deed and saves a child from certain death. Is this the kind of man you would want for the father of your children? I'd guess so. Is this the kind of man you are snubbing at a party because he cares about the people he talks with and values his relationships? I'd guess so. Dummy! Dummy! Dummy! This is connected with the listening skills Ria mentioned and stereotyping. It's compounded in talking about men in stereotypes and is self-defeating. Just as you don't like who you are being judged on things as shallow as your body shape we don't, either. Listen - Really listen and you'll find more interesting men in surprising places. Try to deeply understand the man you're with and you'll often find a man of great worth you would otherwise never know existed outside a romance novel. Well, maybe with the exception of endlessly flowing locks of loosely wavy hair blowing in the breeze. Not many guys have that. You have to look deeper than the skin, though.
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party1 says:Posted: 29 Oct 09Three cheers for Prettpepper standing up to a bully.To get scolded not once but twice publically from a MAJOR can I say brown nose?? lol I must admit my first intuition was similar to Ria s response.But after reading yours again and then Qts response it made me realize that there are SOME women out there that have been nothing but good to thier man and just havent been loved right and this blog didnt pertain to them. Yet they were grouped together with those that this applied to.When I read the blog question these 10 reasons werent my first choices but at completion they seemed plausible and close to home as Marcuus wrote. Many many read the blogs Prettypepper,just because you were attacked does not mean everyone agrees with a bully..BUT he was right about your profile being hidden so you couldnt recieve the good or the bad responses lol thus I write it here. BTW I think having the blogs is better than when there were no blogs.Every topic is not for everyone but we get a chance to see a whole lot more of the kind of person through their blogs. If they say they dont intend to insult or be rude,,they realize thats exactly what they are doing and still write it. A lady that can stand up and speak her mind yet not resort to name calling etc is to be commended.
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shotgun007 says:Posted: 28 Oct 09
I don't think Ria needs this much "defending" as there was no attack on her. Just my thoughts. Prettypepper made a comment, ......it's really not that serious. I too have looked at some of the Blogs on this Dating Website and scratched my head, thinking "where did this idea come from." But speaking of the article at hand..... looking at number 1, isn't it ironic that I was in a previous relationship where the man I dated didn't really allow ME to talk. He had to be right about absolutely everything. If I disagreed with him, there was a problem right off top. Take Care everyone...
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bellara says:Posted: 28 Oct 09
this piece looks like it was written by a woman who thinks battered women are to be blamed for the abuse they suffered. all this nonsense listed on here applies to men so this is the only article that i've read on here that seems so biased and quite nonsensical and almost appears to be a way to "suck up" to men. ria, i usually find your articles interesting but this one is so 1800 and needs to be left there. i would have found this article more interesting if it applied to both sex but its a one way street and thats a "NO GO area for me."
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Member says:Posted: 27 Oct 09
Thank you for responding ( prettypepper ) Honestly,..I don't know you;...and have no reason to be intentionally rude to you. That's not my desire! I suppose you're nothing less than a lovely lady I see in your photo (which is very nice, by the way)! I can't read your profile to get to know more of the wonderful things about you, better;- (it's hidden). --and I (would) read it,..no matter how long it is; ... because..I respect you enough to do so. (smile). However, you can read mine. When you do, you will find that I am a very caring, understanding person. --Oh,..I forgot!! You don't like to read! It bores you so badly. And,... I can understand that. But that's okay. It bores a lot of people who don't like to read anything except their own opinions! I am not critical of you. But I would defend you as quickly as I would (Ria); -if you were attacked. Unfair attacks on anyone's person is not reasonable and doesn't speak very highly of one's character. I am sure you must be far more understanding than your quip to Ria indicated. But... maybe not. Clearly you are opinionated. That's good!! I am not attacking you in any way, (prettypepper). I respect you for voicing your opinion/ attitude. However... never fight a person on their own turf. You just never know... what all they might know, but just are not saying;... out of politeness. Ria is evidently a distinguished voice in a growing interracial community. Give her that much at least. If you disagree with her,... that is not a fair justification to slam her as a person. Not nice. But,.. then,.. you can afford to do that. You don't live in a "glass-house". Your profile is invisible. You also seem to prefer combat boots to Cinderella slippers; ---I guess they pinch your sore toes..!! ...So ... I don't suppose the missing shoe is yours. It must belong to ...someone more ...refined??? --Just joking!! Don't take offense! You can't have thin-skin, if you wear combat fatigue. Chill...! As for how well I know Ria,... Hmmm!!! I guess you may never know!!! Ha-Ha-ha!! Perhaps I'm one of those guys she was talking about. ... But I respect her. --and I respect you!! But then,.. I also respect a rattle-snake! On the other hand,... a rattler warns BEFORE it strikes! We have all been through drama. (Maybe not you). I'm just SURE no man has EVER dumped you for (???). And I assure you,...Ria has both the educational reinforcement AND life experience to cover her blog. Please. Let's let it rest. I apologize to you for being offensive. Pleas forgive me, prettypepper. ---and... if you can stay awake,... at least (try) to read my profile. It's honest, recent and real. --But Very in-depth. I included a LOT of recent pictures, you can read with captions under each one. And I admire your intelligence enough to know you enjoy reading...whatever you say! I are brilliant!! By the way,.... I would have apologized personally to you, on your profile page as well as before the whole world. But,... your profile is hidden and so,... let me tell you right here, that I think you're precious! Sincerely, WiseChoice Write to me, and let's get to know each other. Who knows? We might even become friends. Please? jd
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prettypepper says:Posted: 26 Oct 09I expect that this comment will be deleted as was my very brief original comment. So if anyone's 'toes were stepped on', they weren't mine. First of all, to CarolinaQT: BRILLIANT! I agree with you 100%! Second, "I’m not trying to be rude to you in any way;…" That's a quote from WiseChoice. How utterly ridiculous! You're entire comment was rude, rambling, inane and boring (trust me, I didn't read past the first few lines). I'm certain YOU don't know what, if any, credentials Ria holds. And if a person posts a blog and opens it up for discussion (i.e. allowing people to comment), then he or she shouldn't expect everyone/anyone to agree with the posted view point. Have a nice day.
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Harmony67 says:Posted: 25 Oct 09
Women listen to the men on this. If he talks than listen as it is a lot better than having it be called drama later for even having asked.
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Snazzybella says:Posted: 25 Oct 09
Ok, Some women tend to sometimes ignore or overlook who their man really is and if they really do see him they try to "change" him or "save" him or "make" him over. It comes down to not accepting a man for who he is. Thats the top reason, i think, anyone leaves another in a relationship.
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hazelpride says:Posted: 25 Oct 09
Ria, interesting topic. True, I am guilty of violating some of these men rules you have listed above. Yet I think in this century, we have too many rules we abide by, dating has become so complicated. There are some many rules some so contradictory. I sure hope that when one is in a relationship that is worth all the emotional investment, the above reasons should really be the last port of call to call off a relationship. This is just my opinion, but what I also realised is that as soon as you cross over and start dating someone out of your culture zone, there are more rules to learn. You see it is easy to be stepping on your potential partner toes even before one reaches the first month mark. More rules, more reasons for breaking up. As I said dating is becoming complicated in this century.
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CarolinaQT says:Posted: 25 Oct 09
I love it when people write nonsense in the form of "this is my experience", but it's chock full of "we", as if you speak for everybody. Maybe instead of calling it "Real Reasons Why Men Call it Quits", you'd have been better served by titling it "Real Reasons Why Men Quit Me." You don't speak for every woman, you're only speaking for you. Now if YOU (not we) don't give your man the chance to talk, then he shoulda left ya...or either shut up. Now if YOU (not we) let your girls run your relationship, then he shoulda left ya, and he probably left you for one of them. And if YOU (not we) ran to your 1st, 2nd and 3rd cousin every time he left his stinky socks 2 feet from the hamper and now they shoot him dirty looks over the T-day turkey, then that's YOUR bad, and maybe he shoulda left ya. If YOU (not we) consistently gave your dude the third degree because you didn't trust him, then I can see why he woulda left ya. If YOU (not we) weren't stroking his ego right, then...well, that kinda takes practice. But yeah, improper stroking... that's probably why he left ya. I do agree with you (you and me agree, that makes a "we" a-ok) on 7, 8 & 9, outside of the "most women" comment. You can't possibly know enough women to make the determination as to what "most" of us do. But I appreciate the effort to limit the generalization from a broad "we" to a "most women". As far as #10, I agree with you on that too, although I tend to avoid men with playa friends. But if you were 1,2,3, 5 and 8'ing him about his playa friends, then... yeah he probably shoulda left ya. Your experiences are yours. And although you did post a disclaimer that these reasons don't apply to every breakup or every woman, I can't see that the the article was written that way.
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homesteader says:Posted: 23 Oct 09
Ria ; Honestly thought maybe some good things were to be seen . Friends who have been together over 30 years . When he is on his back under the vehicle repairing it / She stands beside handing tools as he asks for them . He does not have to crawl out and back under repeatedly . When he hands a tool back to her she wipes it clean and places ir back in the toolbox . He will be working out in the yard and she will bring Drinks to hom often and after the meal is on the stove / cooking - she will join him to help . These points are similiar to the negative ones / yet they show concern and companionship . Which without someone you brings a drink to a man mowing lawn for hours at a time in the hot Texas sun . Shows lack of care or concern for their mate / another Good reason to Dump the inconsiderate . I wash dishes , do laundry , hang clothes and cook meals without being asked / Simply because Life and Love is a Two way street . Together
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Member says:Posted: 23 Oct 09
To: rarestgold.... I agree with you!! I think you and chums222 nailed it very well! Maaarcus:.... your statistics are more correct than you may realize!! Very well stated! soulmindbody: LOL !!! Cool !!! I'm especially down with the song-writing part! Are you really a song-writer also? What instruments do you play? Oh-- did you hear that latest 2012 them by Adam Lambert?? The Chord progressions, vocal range, change in rhythm structures... did I say chord progressions(??) will leave your spirit soaring for DAYS!!!!!!! !!!!! And---believe it or not,... it fits RIGHT PERFECTLY into Ria's theme!!! Listen and enjoy! I found it on this link.... Maybe you can get it to work for you... I'm not good at that sort of thing... I actually got the video to work (once). LOL anyway,.. here's where I went: If you copy-paste the url, you'll get the music blog... and the play-button is near the bottom just before all the comments. But the song fits (THIS) subject so perfectly.. Evidently they had a break-up;-if I get it right.. the guy...comes back..and says.."I still believe". http://new.music.yahoo.com/blogs/realityrocks/275594/miracles-do-happen-adam-lamberts-2012-theme-finally-released/ fixitright .... You Go!!! Just keep telling it like it really is!! NOPLAYER,.... I'm like six3sixryder on this one: ---Can I copy that???!! It's pretty good!! @prettypepper ... I "ain't" mad at you! Please don't take offense when offense isn't intended. I Just don't like to see people get beat up on,.. when they try as hard as they do, to create something nice for ALL of us to enjoy!! Trust me... I'll end up saying something that you REALLY disagree with me about,... and then you can get "even" with me.... and I might even deserve it. But don't pick on Ria!! I do enough of that myself. LOL. This time she's right!! Right Ria?? ("is DAT where WE BE AT???") lol. (You know what I'm talking about!!! LOL.). You all have to realize, Ria is a scholastic genius when it comes to English diction!! She jus' messes wit' us... like we be ignorant!! but she "KNOW" how to say whut she "Mean" !!! She done got her a egg-u-ca-shun!!! 'taint the kind you git fum the back of a cereal box neither! She got the REEEL kind. Fum a BUBBLE-Gum wrapper!! LoL. I love you, Ria!! Here's to humor!! Cheers! (everyone)! And hats-off to our Hostess!! Thanks -- WiseChoice .
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six3sixryder says:Posted: 23 Oct 09NOPLAYER....I coudn't agree more on your list....#2 #6,7 & especially 8...I cannot stand it when MY freetime becomes her HoneyDoo list.......the way I get/got around that situation was to get up early, load the dirtbike in the truck and quietly leave....do you know how hard it is to push a fully loaded truck down the driveway and partially down the street at 6am ! then jump in and start it...:-)
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Ria says:Posted: 23 Oct 09
@prettypepper i never said i was an expert. It's all about experiences; mine and others. Did i step on your toes? Didnt mean to. @rarestgold good one. @wisechoice great looking out.
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fixitright says:Posted: 23 Oct 09
Stay true in the beginning about what you want.Tell your partner you're in it for this and that.Be straight up! After you came out with the truth sit back and wait.Too much time is involved in a non happening relationship.Stop wasting each others time.Your partner is your best critic so why go around asking questions about him or her.Face the fact this is your life and when everybody is gone.You'll still be stuck with you and the situation.
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soulmindbody says:Posted: 23 Oct 09Hey Ria, Nice challenge you are throwing out. It is certainly easier for us to respond with darts or laurels than it is for you to lay out the big target for us, so kudos to you. That being said, I'm not big on so many generalizations, perhaps it is just the style of writing you are using. But I love your first point, that men do sometimes talk, but are not heard. So much so, I wrote a song years ago, during a loooong marriage: I'm talking now, but you're not listening Your voice rolls in like waves caressing Your tummy tuck must be unfolding My passive aggressive behaviour's not helping Da dada da dada da da da da da da da You're talking now, but I'm composing this song to you.
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Maaarcus says:Posted: 23 Oct 09
I think your list EASILY hit on about reasons for about 4-5 break-ups in my past. Every guy should keep a mini version of this laminated and in their wallets! It's always better when it comes from a woman. Good looking out, Ria!
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NOPLAYER says:Posted: 22 Oct 09
Allow me to add a few of my own. 1. Talk to your man instead of talking about him. Your mama and sisters are not the ones to be talking to if the issue is with him. 2. Your man is your man, he's not a strong back to lend out to help your family members move into their new home or apartment! Stop volunteering him to help others, let them ask him and dont start bitching when he tells them, hell naw! 3. What your man tells you, should go no further than you! How in the hell do you expect a man to trust and confied in you when you run your damn mouth to other people, telling them about what he's confieded in you. Ladies complain all the time, "he wont talk to me and he keeps things from me", damn I wonder why! 4. Your bills are just that, YOURS! Until you take his last name keep your bills to yourself, particularly if the two of you didn't make those bills together. 5. If you got bad-ass kids and you know if they bad, get'em right before he's forced to do it. No man wants to be bothered with bad-ass kids, particularly if their not his! 6. Don't ask his opinion and then get mad when he gives it to you! 7. Until your parents start paying the mortgage, they're opinions about what goes on in our house is meaningless! Run tell'em that! 8. The quickest way to become an ex besides cheating is to keep making plans for him without his approval. Respect his personal time and don't tresspass on it. 9. No time to have sex with your man because you cant GET OFF of the computer? Keep it up and he'll GET IT OWN with another woman to and she'll gladly GET HIM OFF! You wont have to tell hinm to GET OUT because he'll gladly MOVE OUT. 10. Ladies cover up a little bit. If you're in a relationship, you're off the market, you got your man, now stop showing the world what belongs to him. I'm not hating but when we go out in public I want to look like your man and not your pimp.
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Member says:Posted: 22 Oct 09
Hmmm..! This is just a thought! Not to be argumentative, but I would make this comment to "prettypepper": If you don't know what "credentials" Ria has,..how can you find the (B***s) to tell her she is "NO EXPERT"?? She just might surprise you with a few NOTCHES on her credential record that (you) don't have. I'd bet on it. One thing about it;...she is smart enough to put a blog together and gain acceptance all over the world;.... ---which makes her MORE of an "EXPERT" than a lot of people! I haven't done it yet;... --have you?? If you don't KNOW her, -how can you afford to criticize her expertise??? I find that (almost) amusing! -Almost. Are YOUR "credentials" all-that-impressive??? Any letters in human psychology (or any related field)? I really would like to know! --I really hope you DO! But I doubt any (degreed) person would be so arrogant. I could be wrong. But most of us are merciful with each other,... especially in view of all the hard work. Now I realize my opinion means less than beans to you at this point,..but I happen to agree with Ria on this! And if her opinion doesn't count in your view; seeing that you (THINK) she has no degree,... you're mistaken. MANY people,.. as you will soon see,... DO agree!!! I PROMISE you that!! And we value her input!! She's not saying that men don't have flaws; We DO make mistakes and are just as OFF-BASE in lots of areas! ...Well,..there ARE a FEW of us who really ARE perfect! (If you believe that,..I know about a bridge for $ale.) I'm FAR from perfect!! --But I'm sure you haven't made mistakes in judging others too harshly. You're so nice. And we aren't concerned about Ria's degrees... the ones (you THINK) she doesn't have..-her not being an expert! Why?? Because even if she DIDN'T have a letter or two behind her name,... it doesn't MATTER!! It's HER BLOG!! Beyond that,... there are several of us who DO have the paperwork to prove we know what we are talking about!! And at least a few of us have a LOT of wallpaper!! And for the most part, we agree with her point of view. As for me?... Sorry,... I AM an "expert"!!! --And I don't mind telling you,....Ria makes a lot of sense! Again,... we all fall short;...but to judge a person in public on her own blog;...when you don't even know her? I'm not trying to be rude to you in any way;... but that kind of harshness might be worthy of a retraction. I mean that, very considerately. It seems as if she hit a raw nerve while giving a little well-seasoned advice. When a person is willing to open up before the whole internet-world and say,..."hey~ I messed up here...." ...then it's not nice to use her blog as an opportunity to attack her credibility!!--You really don't KNOW Ria. Again,... you don't know her! --If you DID, you would not make such a critical, undeserved statement. But,... it only proves she touched a RAW nerve;... which is EXACTLY what her comments are designed to do!! And I do agree with you, six3sixryder! Honestly! It's RARE to hear a lady admit to something like this. I wish more people could read it and... with Ria's permission,... I think we need to expand it even more. chums222 --- What can I say??? -Guilty as charged!! Us men make a LOT of the same mistakes in relationship. There is a lot we can chew on, here. A lot of food for thought. Interracial relationships can be tenuous. Going an extra mile for our mate is extremely delicate when it comes to who's right or wrong sometimes. Often it boils down to perspective! We have to try to see things from the other viewpoint...and world-view. Hmmmmmm... Plenty to think about, to avoid interracial relationship failure. Gotta look at so many variables. ....You made me really think!! Nice Going, Ria!! Sincerely, WiseChoice .
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rarestgold says:Posted: 22 Oct 09
Be fair Ria - post the top ten reasons women call it quits. Actually now that I think about it, I guess you already covered them. Go figure, who knew we were all (men and women) leaving for the same reasons.
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chums222 says:Posted: 21 Oct 09
very well said. Although I wish more points were printed. We could go all the way to 50. But the same holds true for men. It's a 50-50 deal. it's all about give and take. You give up something, but you gain something as well. You should in the long run eventually. You do something with her that she really loves but you can't stand it. Then one time let's say that she does something that you love, but she would never do with any one else. She went that extra mile for you because she wanted to.
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six3sixryder says:Posted: 21 Oct 09
Can I cut and paste this !?...it's pretty good!
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prettypepper says:Posted: 21 Oct 09
I'd be very curious to know what your credentials are, Ria. You seem to think yourself an expert on a lot of things (as evidenced by your posts). You're no expert.
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"My online love inspiration angel"
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Nice artical with some very good points. It could all be summed up by a few words, and the understanding of these words. Communication Assertiveness understanding acceptance and the most important one of all " Self " Without good self the rest can never be. Just be who you are and nothing more. Thanks Shawn