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Sex distress call

Posted by Ria, 01 May

Have you ever been in a relationship where the sex was either terrible... or where there was none at all? Is it possible for a person to be so perfect in every other aspect but when it comes to having sex is totally hopeless?

That is what my pal asked me when she gave me that sex distress call yesterday. She is in love with a man, well so she thinks. After years of looking for prince charming in vain, she finally thought her searching days were over. He is the sweetest thing she has ever come across. Name it and he will do it - run the bath, cook, clean up, take you out to dinner, the movies and all things nice. "I knew the Gods could not have finally been so good to me." she said. "I kept wondering at what point the bubble would be burst and burst it was. After a blissful six weeks of heaven the day to drop the pants was here and the world went zag when I expected it to go zig - the man could not rise to the occasion!"

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Erectile dysfunction is the medical term of the condition and yes there are drugs in the stores to help out. Problem is dude will not admit he has a problem just because once in a while he can attempt a half mast that lasts two minutes. Does the sister get an orgasm? HELL NO! Sister has strayed once or twice (and about to pull another adulterous one this weekend) and the sex out there is the greatest though the rest of the package is lacking…

As much as we may try to deny it, fact is sex can make or break a relationship. Most of us always like hiding under the banner of 'sex isn't everything in a relationship'. But if the possible lack of it sends most of us straying, don't you think its time that we actually admitted that it is important?

So what would you do? Take the man and have a sex mate stashed somewhere or give it all up?

Tags: sex tips, sex and relationships

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  1.   Snazzybella says:
    Posted: 03 Feb 10

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

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  2.   fluffychair says:
    Posted: 08 Jun 09

    Wow guys - I know this is an intence discussion. I just completed a divorce after a 8 year/ 14 year relationship. Besides the problems I had with his anger and depression, he also was and is a premature ejaculator. He can get it up alright- but can't last long at all. I was always dissatisfied and he only gave me one organsm a year or less than that. Actually, he liked to have sex at least a few times per week, but while he was taking a shower, I would shamefully and secretly go off in the other room and masterbate until I reached orgasm. Then I could fall asleep. He refused to stimulate me or give me oral sex to get me off. If I asked him to stimulate me- he would tell me I was too demanding. He finally started to give me oral the last two months of our marriage, but by then I was done. Sex is vital!!! Always I was fantasizing about having sex like what I used to hear going on in the apartment next door or in a movie. So sad. Now I have moved on . I wish I had a moved on a very long time ago. My advice to you is to move on. You could try asking him is he would go to his doctor to get medical help for his condition, but after a few months if there is no large improvement- just walk away before emotions get too deep.

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  3.   pedalforlife says:
    Posted: 10 Mar 08

    I spent 15 years in a marriage where the little intimacy we shared at the beginning quickly decreased to zero. I lost my virginity with my wife and was always faithful. The last 10 years of my marriage I slept alone. During this time we went through various reasons why my wife didn't want to share sex-medication she'd taken, post-partem depression, my snoring (I had surgery to address that), until finally my wife told me she is gay. We are good friends, care about each other, but I spent 15 years of my life trusting that we could make the sexual/intimacy area of our relationship work out, only to find that there was no chance of that happening. So now, after this experience, I can say that for me being sexually compatible is very important. It needs to be a part of a loving, caring relationship for the relationship to truly be healthy. It's nothing to be ashamed of, this is a basic part of who we are as human beings. Pretending it is not is not going to help. Exploring sex in an honest and responsible way is a good thing in my opinion, and if it doesn't work between two people, they should let each other go to find someone who is compatible.

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  4.   Andrew says:
    Posted: 25 May 07

    Its funny, the older I get (I'm only 28), the more I realize how backward America is. The coporate media empire assault on us is relentless. Like for example, junk food commercials with models eating the stuff. Or telling you to save your money and build credit whild selling you all this stuff that puts you in debt. Why are we so sexually confused. Why must it be abstinence or promiscuity. What about soul-binding, universe-travelling, human-connected love-making. We need to all read the Kama Sutra. Sexaul compatibility is critical to a relatinship. And its based on two primary things: size and drive. What women can handle size-wise varies just as much as what men are packing. We need to match up. And women can handle frequency-wise also varies just like men. We need to match up there too. But it's taboo to discuss or advertise these things upfront, thats bull....

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  5.   Waylon says:
    Posted: 22 May 07

    God, I had this problem. It took several years to finally end. She was great emotionally, but a damn kenmore frost-free fridge in the sheets. I am surprised I never cheated on her to be honest. I got laid less than once a month with her. The problem was we did have such a strong emotional bond that I put up with it for a long time. I took a lot of mental abuse just trying to get laid. I know I aint no John Holmes, but I have never had a problem holding my own. She just used sex to achieve a goal and if there was no goal, there was no sex. I cant live with a woman like that and nowadays I make it very clear up front and in the beginning that if someone starts getting headaches, I will move on and start looking around for someone who doesnt. Sex is a very important part of a relationship. You need both the mental and physical connection to make a relationship work. Anyone that thinks otherwise is delusional and unhappy, or they are cheating on the side to keep the physical happy. So in answer to the question. I would put it in his face. Either get see a doctor about the ED and get help, or lose me. You got a week.

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  6.   Cocokisses says:
    Posted: 21 May 07

    Let him go. I don't care ow good the relationship is, if you can't express that love in an adult, caring and unselfish way, you'll start to resent each other. Let's not forget that it will lead to CHEATING, which will end the relationship anyway. Cut your losses and move on. Life is too short to be in a physically unfulfilling relationship.

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  7.   m_d says:
    Posted: 17 May 07

    ho nied som love

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  8.   Jimbo_4269 says:
    Posted: 16 May 07

    I say that when there is an excess in one area there is usually a lack in another.

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  9.   fala says:
    Posted: 16 May 07

    Lemme think Mossimo . . . who should win American Idol? Was that the question?

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  10.   breezy says:
    Posted: 13 May 07

    ok. what if the problem is not that the sail is at half mast, but he's working with a ship the size of bathtub toy? there are no drugs to fix that one. i know some people say size doesn't matter but this man, as wonderful as he is- has a third thumb not a penis. help!

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  11.   mossimo says:
    Posted: 12 May 07

    lol@Fala....What was this blog about again??

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  12.   Jackalded says:
    Posted: 11 May 07

    And if the wife is like that too to a guy how is too hot. What is option and is now 8yrs weding

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  13.   fala says:
    Posted: 10 May 07

    Ok, no more talk about chocolate and sex in the same sentence!!!

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  14.   mossimo says:
    Posted: 09 May 07

    Did someone say chocolate cake?? I need to go to the store!!

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  15.   Thomas says:
    Posted: 09 May 07

    Fala, is Dr. Ruth still alive? Is she still practising? It was aready funny to see her on TV 20 year ago. Who believes that she can help anyone?

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  16.   fala says:
    Posted: 09 May 07

    Dude, come on just one piece! Just one!!!!

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  17.   mossimo says:
    Posted: 08 May 07

    lol@Fala, Guess I need Dr. Vinny Boom Bah

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  18.   Thomas says:
    Posted: 08 May 07

    I agree with natalie. No one will ever perfect. There must be the right feeling and chemistry and the communication.

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  19.   fala says:
    Posted: 08 May 07

    Don't think I can help you Mossimo. Maybe Dr. Ruth? Dr. Phil? Dr Drew? None of my doctors uses their first name - do you think these people are for real?

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  20.   nathalie says:
    Posted: 07 May 07

    Well I would say keep him, he sounds absolutely wonderful. It's hard to find a guy who will treat you wonderfully. If you go ahaed and have some sex partner on the side, you will risk of losing him. There has to be an open communication with your partner. He has to know how you feel, if you don't you will find yourself someone new. Don't give up on him just yet. Give him a chance, no one will ever be perfect.

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  21.   Thomas says:
    Posted: 07 May 07

    Well, I never had that problem.

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  22.   The_Dude says:
    Posted: 07 May 07

    Fala, generous is my middle name: except for chocolate cake, I get a little greedy when that's in the house.

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  23.   fala says:
    Posted: 07 May 07

    Damn Dude that's generous of you! LOL

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  24.   mossimo says:
    Posted: 07 May 07

    Is it me...or is it her...her? me? I am lost..Fala, can u straighten this out

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  25.   Madea says:
    Posted: 05 May 07

    I had to let him go. I started doubting my womanwood and thats NOT GOOD. I am still recovering because I can not help thinking maybe it was me!

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  26.   The_Dude says:
    Posted: 04 May 07

    Fala that's right. Look I'm very concerned that some women out there might be doing the Paris 'starfish' Hilton and so I am offering for a limited time free sex lessons to ladies on this site. PM me.

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  27.   fala says:
    Posted: 02 May 07

    I agree with Mossimo. There's only so much of pretending it doesn't matter that any one person can do. Frankly I'd rather have someone be honest with me rather than living a lie.

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  28.   mossimo says:
    Posted: 02 May 07

    Been there, with a woman of course!! The sex was terrible, and I had to just let her go. Maybe its a bit shallow, but I think on has to be happy in ALL aspects of the relationship or run the risk of being like the woman in the story.

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