What kind of Black woman dates a White man?
Black women who date white men have been labeled so many things. In fact some of these labels attached to black women white men relationships have been the main reason why most of these women choose to only date black men.
Some black women have been bombarded with the rhetorical question: "What kind of black woman brings home a white man" by their family and friends whenever there is the mention of a white man they are dating. And this question is never asked in a positive light. In an article by Sandy Banks in the LA Times, Banks tries to shows us some answers that reflect two conflicting opinions of this woman. Is she:
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"Open-minded or desperate; a champion of her gender or traitor to her race; someone who is culturally secure or trying to look away from her own black face?"
If you asked me, the kind of Black woman who has a white husband or boyfriend is one who is smitten with love… one who falls for, dates and marries a man who makes her happy no matter the race.
What is your opinion of this black woman?
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235 responses to "What kind of Black woman dates a White man? "
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cocorose88 says:Posted: 06 Aug 15I never really understood why black women had to explain themselves when dating a handsome educated white man, while no one ever questions why black men date marry and breed with white women all the time....Is that to say that white women are more desirable than their men? I think not especially when they are more prone than other women to age more exponentially than milk, Just saying it is what it is! Anyway the kind of sista that dates and marries white men is the kind of sista that is sexy educated and in need of love and security that can only be given by a REAL man. Unfortunately as the idiom goes "once you go brotha, you WILL be a single mother." Smart women look for real men not just bedroom bandits!!!
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penelope77 says:Posted: 14 Dec 15
Babe i agree with you .May God help us to achieve our hearts desires.Amen
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4meitsu says:Posted: 10 Feb 16Hello, you are a very intelligent woman and I say tear down the wall we are all humans and everyone should have the "dream" when all God"s children walk hand in hand
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cocorose88 says:Posted: 06 Aug 15
I never really understood why black women had to explain themselves when dating a handsome educated white man, while no one ever questions why black men date marry and breed with white women all the time....Is that to say that white women are more desirable than their men? I think not especially when they are more prone than other women to age more exponentially than milk, Just saying it is what it is! Anyway the kind of sista that dates and marries white men is the kind of sista that is sexy educated and in need of love and security that can only be given by a REAL man. Unfortunately as the idiom goes "once you go brotha, you WILL be a single mother." Smart women look for real men noy just bedroom bandits!!!
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LatoyaS says:Posted: 18 Jul 15
A woman who is naturally attracted to white men, is the kind of black woman who dates a white man.There is just this inkling of sorts that drives the desire and makes a black woman comfortable with the idea of dating, loving and marrying a white man. It's just chemistry - as cheesy as it may sound, opposite do attract.
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BrownBee78 says:Posted: 14 Jul 15
A woman who is tired of her own men calling her ugly for having dark skin.
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Dknsweet1 says:Posted: 23 Sep 14
The Black woman who dates and falls for White men just come by their attraction without explanation. Like me when you begin to have "eyes for the opposite sex" you just see white as your preference. Why is an explanation even necessary? Does any one demand an explanation for why you prefer tacos over pizza, chicken over beef, Reggae over country, purple over yellow, or why you love strawberry ice cream and not chocolate? Why must I explain my attraction when I don't know why? I just am turned on & attracted to white men. I've dated all kinds & races but my preference is white, hands down. I'm so tired of this conversation, enough already!
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MissTexas01 says:Posted: 28 Jul 14Well, I think she is brave. Choosing to follow your heart wherever it leads takes strength and resilience. This black woman knows this and still steps forward knowing she will get it from both sides the black and white community. This day and age it is more accepted to see a black man and white woman. She will have to deal with black men especially who can sometimes be aggressive with their opinions on your decision. To look past all of that and say this is who I want I love is easy but to press through all of that and say this is who I want to date takes guts. So in my opinion that woman /me is a phenomenal woman. ;-)
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Tireah says:Posted: 10 Jul 14
When I was 15 years old I would date white guys that are more black mined....Why? I felt more in toned and connected in some sense because i identified with his "white guy act black" behavior it was familiar. So the idea that I get white man would date are black woman that had a sense of a white woman behavior. That isn't my thoughts and how I view things no more but for me too answer this I had too go back 14 years in my thoughts and feeling to answer this
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MrRight4u2 says:Posted: 30 May 14i find these type mostly with the new generation of BW, aka social media junkies, know -it-alls, etc... BW who grow up in diverse society.
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blackbelle01 says:Posted: 29 Jun 21
No MrRight4you2 its all types of BW . I have been dating or married to WM for many years. My late husband was a WM and he was a wonderful man. If I have the opportunity to get married again. Guess what it will probably be a WM because that is who I am attracted to.
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Akreazz says:Posted: 20 Apr 14First, I don't identify people in terms of color. Therefore, I am an educated secure woman, who is open-minded, responsible, adventurous and secure. I live in a country that is free, and I fought for that freedom. I have never cared about anyone's thoughts about me dating and marrying any man I choose. I have earned the right to achieve and do whatever, I want to do within the law. We are born in this world alone and, we leave this world alone. So, plan to be happy with whomever is your joy.
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LeeLee4713 says:Posted: 06 Feb 14I am only interested in Caucasian and Asian men. But I'm finding it very hard to meet. Just moved to the Washington DC area. I am a very attractive women for my age of 61.
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MissTexas01 says:Posted: 28 Jul 14
Lol, I lived in chocolate city aka DC for about 6 years. They don't call it chocolate city for nothing. It will be hard to date interracially mostly because of access and availability. Asian men are especially scarce.
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Ruth116 says:Posted: 18 Apr 21As attractive as you are, it's amazing you haven't been snapped up yet! Then again, it's 2021, about seven years since you posted your message, so hopefully, some blessed bloke now belongs to you.
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girlygirl28 says:Posted: 31 Dec 13Well, this type of black woman is awesome, because I am one of them. LOL! My preference has always been for white men, but in the past; I've dated black guys, just to satisfy others. Well, dating black men, just because society and my family expected me to, didn't work out. Mainly because most of the black men treated me horribly. Im not bashing black men (because I have 5 awesome uncles who don't fit the stereotype), but I must admit; I've been treated better by white guys I've dated.
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Cory0533 says:Posted: 27 Oct 13
I don't know I am only interested in dating (possibly marrying) only white or Asian men. My father though, since he was raised in the segregation times in Baton Rouge, he didn't like that at all but he has his reasons and I understand. My mom I don't think she minds at all that i date white men. My friends kind of gave me grief for a bit but then they backed off. I honestly don't care if people don't like that I date a white man they can go screw themselves for all I care. I am not only black I have many races that flow in my veins.
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Newbganing says:Posted: 07 Oct 13What kind of black woman (men) date a white man. That’s a joke!!! It’s apparent she is secure within her OWN self. It’s apparent she is focused on finding true love and not simply having sex. It’s apparent she does not give a (bad word) into what these closed minded people think of her making self not simply happy BUT joyful!! YOU go my sisters!!!! A black lady dating/marrying a good white man (no disrespect) is not a slap in the face toward a good black man. People in America are so closed minded toward life. Everybody wants to slip and dip into someone else world YET can not handle the affairs of their own life lol. That indicates to me; insecurity within themselves. What kind of black lady date a white man; a bold LADY, a courageous WOMAN, a committed woman; that someone hate IS HATING on, a loyal woman, an honest woman, a strong woman that has a heart of steel in the midst of oppression, which defines her OUTSTANDINGNESS!!!! Without knowing who you are – I commend and pat you on your back for standing up and doing you!!!
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Randerson101 says:Posted: 29 Dec 13Good answer. I could have said it better myself. You clearly have a great perspective on life and love.
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poshgal says:Posted: 21 Aug 13
I really don't understand the label in behind a black woman dating or married a white man if he's respectful and loving does it really matter what color he is?
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prettygirl46 says:Posted: 29 May 13
I have always been attracted to white men and at times when I was on my dates I seemed to be bothered by the stares, but the guys I was with just ignored it or made a joke about it, so that made me feel more confident and it made me more attracted to them. After a while I enjoyed my dates even more. And it it goes for anyone who I am with, if you are willing to stand up for yourself and me then you are worth it.
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dave_74 says:Posted: 30 Apr 13All kinds of black women from all walks of life and every profession imaginable date white men. Let's see World Class athletes, supermodels, actresses, musicians, pilots, doctors, members of parliament, teachers, students,professors, university deans, soldiers, military officers, writers, ski instructors ......the list goes on. I'm sure they are open minded and not "desperate "
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Magdal1 says:Posted: 20 Apr 13Actually, when an individual start out a relationship with someone of an opposite race, it is done as a method of exploration. In which exploration is a learning tool that leads us to discover new things. These new things can be very exciting to an individual, than the ones the individual is accustomed of dealing with day-by-day. Also, it can be compared as having an appetite for a new type of food, but in this case it is a new type of race or different culture. An example is that when two individuals of different race are together usually heads turn, than when someone sees together individuals of the same race. When heads turn, it can be due to different reasons but the main one is that it draws attention.
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Eam60 says:Posted: 09 Jun 14
I think "EXPLORATION" is the wrong word to use....love do not have eyeballs....it is the feeling that get you through the journey.
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MissTexas01 says:Posted: 28 Jul 14
I guess you are right. It is something like trying something new. I remember that first date I went on with a white guy. I was nervous. I'm hardly ever nervous. I didn't know what to expect. I didn't know if it would be the same or something different. I had always been attracted to white guys since the second grade but had never until that day gone out with a white guy. Despite what was going on all around us he stared into my eyes the entire time. It was almost creepy yet sweet. The next guy I went out with did the same thing and I was not so creeped out. I now know that is how white men are. They give you their 100% attention. Lol i laugh now at how i was thinking to myself is he even blinking. My point is you are right it is like learning a new culture and experiencing something new.
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blackbelle01 says:Posted: 23 Sep 15
I am sorry but I don't agree with your views but we can agree to disagree.
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blackbelle01 says:Posted: 07 Oct 15
This maybe your view but it is not what lead me to date IR. I see men as men.
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cutiepie43 says:Posted: 07 Apr 13
That raz me are the ones lurking in the shadows waiting for an oppurtunity to ask me questions de:dating and making.g love with a white man my response: all cats are gray in the dark. when you need or want lovins are you going to stop and take the time to profile him or are you going to relish the moment? Basically let that man love you. seal the deal!
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cutiepie43 says:Posted: 07 Apr 13
I am a self assured blk woman. Why should it make any difference to any one on the planet about who Im dating &/or do doing. Opinions are like assholes every ones got one so if your thoughts are not positive regarding this subject matter keep it to ya damn self. There is enough negative stuff in the world. Why can't people see interracial dating azure a step towards the positive. Two worlds coming together, its a beautiful thing. I've also discovered the very ones that razor
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Voice4Reason says:Posted: 20 Feb 13
As a Black man who has dated Black women in the past as well, I can say that my outcomes were mostly negative, not because the woman was Black, but because the woman had issues that were intolerable to deal with. I decided to date more outside of my race as a means of exploration and the women were attractive. Never once did I feel that those few Black women were the representatives of the entire Black female race. I happen to have met quite a few good Black women. Why am I not with them? Because they were involved in relationships that they were happy in, with good men. My reasons for my exploration was to expand the options for meeting a potential mate, not to discredit Black women. It just so happened that when I started dating other races, I got better results. But I confess, not all the results were positive when dating women from other ethnic groups. it's not about the race of the potential mate, it's about the character that lies within the individual you choose to date. If he/she is of a different race, what does it matter if people around you greet this in a negative manner. If the person treats you with respect, makes you happy then thats all that matters. Were all individuals, and only can be held accountable for our own actions. Unfortunately, not everyone holds to the same standard of morality and integrity. That in itself comes as a double edged sword. While the variations in morality and integrity are perfect identifying markers for determining the partner that best suits you, it's also that same morality and integrity (or lack thereof) that compels some people to act and react in negative ways if you do choose to date someone who's another race. What it comes down to is even though your experiences with Black men were bad, it doesn't mean all Black men are bad. It just means you made bad choices. As you embark on your relationships with men from other races you will find there will be good and bad experiences with them as well. You just have to be certain that the guy you're with is a decent wholesome guy who has your best interest at heart as you do his.
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xxsorbetxx says:Posted: 21 Oct 13Why anyone would negative this comment right here is beyond me, i sure as hell find it perfectly well written.
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girlygirl28 says:Posted: 31 Dec 13
Somehow, you were still able to fit some negative things in your response regarding black womena and I think it's a bit childish. All you had to say is that you prefer women of other races; instead of saying "maybe bw haven't had good relationships with black men,because they've made bad choices." No, I'm quite sure that that most of the black guys I've gone on dates with in college and graduate weren't worth my time. I'm in no way confused; I have been treated better by white men and that's really the truth. There is no hidden agenda behind me and most black women's choice to date out. Other than the fact that most white men are taught to treat women with respect and are true supporter and providers of their families; that's very attractive to a woman; at least a woman with common sense. So please, save your negative comments for a page geared toward black men; this one is titled: "What kind of black woman dates a white man." This really has nothing to do with black men.
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Ruth116 says:Posted: 18 Apr 21
You're probably better off dating/marrying a WF. I find the kind of BW seen on "Love And Hip-Hop" and other black-oriented "reality shows --- and real life totally embarrassing to me as a BW. It sickens me seeing them relishing irresponsible, destructive behavior.
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Shirow says:Posted: 15 Feb 13
I have dated 2 black men,one broke up with me_no exlanation The other cheated on me I hope to meet a caring,understanding White dude..I think they are so cute,their hair..Mwaaah! ;)
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Intriquing says:Posted: 11 Jan 13
Black women are usually stigmatized by our own race for dating white men. Statements like, "she's trying to be white", or "she only wants his money". I personally know plenty of black me that have money, but not worth dating. I grew up within a multi-racial family, so was not taught color coding, but have been condition by friends and environment to stay within my own kind. I'm 38 now, have only dated 3 white men, and even though they didnt work out due to whatever circumstances, I was treated alot better by those 3 men. I had given up for a while; thinking that I can stay with my own if I want an a**. But here I am, realizing that if I want to really fall in love & find my true love, I have to take down my bounderies and not care what other people think. I learned that love doesnt have a color; it didnt with my parents. I'm hoping I find my Mr.Right and it doesnt matter how light skin he is, and if my friends, family, whoever doesnt like it- so be it. Wish me luck!
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Sukud1 says:Posted: 20 Dec 12
I am dating a white guy who has been married twice to white women and both marriages ended due to the white women not appreciating this man who wants his woman home he has the funds to keep his women taken care of. Im dating outside my race due to the shortage of good brothers. I am 50 have had my share of heartbreak and have broken hearts. I'm seeking someone who will love me absolutely and definitely. I love my brothers but I want to be happy and dont give a damn of looks coming from any race mine, his or any other. He makes me ecstaticly happy. I'm an Rn
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jp says:Posted: 06 Oct 12
First of all before you slam black men you have to know black women. This image presented above of the happy semi blackish black woman is not the real black woman. Many many black men have been slammed, sabotaged and ridiculed by black women for dating interracially. The problem is that they don't expect to get that same ridicule when they choose to do the same. They feel they should be able to escape the same ridicule that they themselves supported before they became interested in interracial dating. Most black men could care less if a black women dates interracially but most also are not going to let them forget the crap that they dished out. So in a lot of cases its a matter of what went around is simply coming back around.
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Randerson101 says:Posted: 29 Dec 13
I don't believe that is true any longer. It was once true when interracial dating first started blossoming, but I think black women are over it now. Who a black man chooses to date now is just not today's hot topic.
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blackbelle01 says:Posted: 07 Sep 15
I agree. I have never known any BW that actually care about this who BM date anymore. I agree years ago it was a hot topic but now most BW have moved on and are dating IR ourselves. Date/Marry who you want. No one cares about this anymore
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Faeryn says:Posted: 04 Oct 12
I think sweeping generalizations are just that...sweeping and general. There's no hard and fast rule for this. I am a white man and have only dated black women most of my life, with a couple disastrous exceptions. This largely has to do with where I grew up and how I was treated. I met and have been dating a black woman I met on this site in July of 2010. She has to be the coolest, most funny, creative and kind person I have ever met. I've asked her this question before and it really had to do with where she felt comfortable. She said that her attraction was always towards white men and it is what it is. Her parents don't agree and hate me because I'm white and have sleeve tattoos. Her mother told me I was KKK the day I met her, to which I just laughed. I think the answer to this question is personal and goes by a case by case basis. For a lot of us the so called 'taboo' is exciting, for others it's about being appreciated for who we are and what we have in common (and don't have in common) that makes the interracial relationship exciting, fun and unique. Personally, for my own reasons, I have never liked white women and would never remotely consider dating one. The amount of appreciation and respect I get and give to my woman is leagues beyond anything I ever shared w/ a white woman. Her and I have had our ups and down (mostly ups) and she's my best friend. We have an amazing friendship and deep respect for each other and as time progresses I find my self only more attracted to her. If you treat a black woman right, you'll have the best, most loyal and loving companion you could hope for. p.s. we're saving our 'Success Story' until we tie the knot.
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dave_74 says:Posted: 07 Mar 14
I hope you both tied the knot, because I'd love to read your success story. God Bless
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MissTexas01 says:Posted: 28 Jul 14
Her mother thought you was kkk?!?! Lmbo. I always wondered what my parents would say if I brought Tom home for thanksgiving vs Tyrone. I think I would have laughed my butt off. Oh lord we have been infiltrated pass the rolls and stuffing. I hope that you were not too offended. Unfortunately a lot of blacks hold resentment and fear towards whites bc of our history in America. The tattoos didn't help.lol your girlfriend should have prepped them beforehand,Got a feel for the reception and set everyone straight before you even showed up.
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blackbelle01 says:Posted: 23 Sep 15
I hope you too get married. You sound like a great guy.
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jammyjam617 says:Posted: 28 Sep 12
Its funny that you mention this. In my family and along with my peers I would often get the side eye from dating white men or any other man that is not black. Anytime I would go out with my best friend and if a black man was hitting on me she would immediately step right in with comments like " Oh she only dates white men" or "She don't date black guys". All which are untrue. I date all types from all walks of life. It just has been in recent years had long term relationships with white men. To me its all about the maturity of the mind and how you see life, if you let people define who you should be with based on the color their skin than you will live a very unhappy life. I could care less If I date a white man, black man, Asian man, Spanish man etc.....I am not dating them for their race I am dating them for who they are individually!
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Ruth116 says:Posted: 22 Jan
When I was briefly in college, I lived in the dorm. My BF dorm suite-mate would sometimes bring a BM visitor and would claim that he liked me. I'd tell her that if it were true, he'd tell me himself. Otherwise, I didn't buy her claim. Besides, I didn't even know him and doubted that he was interested in me. I suspect that my suite-mate told her friend about my attraction to WM's and was calling herself breaking me up of it by trying to fix me up with one of her BM friends; as if I'd be interested in them! I'll love whom I love, no matter what others think and I don't need their permission.
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Mahoghony says:Posted: 06 Aug 12It is very apparent that some people in this world are aware while others are stuck in tradition. God made all of us and we are creatures of choice. So when people judge others on their preferences, it is what it is ... sadly so. I prefer to date white men because that is what I want and like everyone else.... I am exercising my personal rights.
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Walligator says:Posted: 06 Aug 12The kind of black woman who dates a white man is a woman secure in herself and her decisions. What color is love....Life is short and we better focus on things that will benefit of as oppose to petty things like " Why you date outside your race" Some people been trying to find love in their race and die alone. Free your mind and your ass will follow.
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MsChae916 says:Posted: 05 Aug 12
I agree with you both; as a bw I'm looking for someone who will be my partner for life. Yes, I've been in relationships with black men for a number of years...but just like you, I've had horrible results in the past...I don't feel I have to justify my conscienous decision on who I date, mate and related too. If he is white, fine, if he's latino all the better, asian..perferct..as well as native american and somoan etc. I am looking for that person who will appreciate my gifts, as will I his. People who usually make these crazy kind of comments; are usually uneducated and completely ignorant to the ways of the world...life's too short to sweat the small stuff. I hate intolerance ang biggotry of any kind. To be honest, it's my opinion that people who think this way are of the prehistoric era. They need to get over it. Simply put, at the end of the day, the person who makes you happy at the sheer thought of your presence in thier life, is the one I will work very hard to keep! Be he white, latino, asian, native american, etc. If that offends people...than so be it! It is what it is! We as bw have always had the same options as our counterparts...we've just come to the realization of that fact, and to me that is a wonderful thing :)
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kelli310 says:Posted: 05 Aug 12
i date any guy thats cool and good in bedcall me openminded
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gypsyros1955 says:Posted: 04 Aug 12
I think Black women who date White men have tried and failed at dating only Black men. I have married three Black men and have been cheated on, lied to, abused, and mistreated. I am trying to date White men for the first time because I am tried of being mistreated and I want to find someone who will love me, treated me with respect, and spend the rest of my life with. I do not care at this time what color he is. If you have done the same thing all your life and not gotten the results you want, you need to try something different
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Alchemy73 says:Posted: 29 Apr 14
I'm an OG of IR dating, and also married a wonderful Italian/Jewish man. I was always attracted to men who did not look like me. And sadly, part of why I wasn't attracted to AA men was that a lot of dads were missing in my family, including mine. I saw a lot of negative behavior from the men in my family towards women, for those who I was around. And my family's background is fairly mixed, so I wasn't raised with any prejudice, thankfully! My cousins were always 'dating out', so I figured out early on that what's good for the goose is good for the gander, baby! Our experiences in life shape our mentality, behavior, and in this case, who we are attracted to. But part of it is just why I am. And I love it. I'll never apologize for it. Even with heartbreak from white men, I was and am still approached and talked to more respectfully on the whole than AA men. A sad but true fact. I do NOT respond to aggressive, degrading and ignorant talk from ANY man! Any man who wants to be in my world needs to treat me like a Lady, because I am one. And respect me as the same. Namaste.
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MissTexas01 says:Posted: 28 Jul 14
Do you think white men do not cheat? Lol white men cheat too. Men cheat regardless of race. Character prevents a man from cheating not race. I personally know a woman right now getting cheated on. We were all out on a double date and the lady just grabbed his phone made a scene and stormed out crying. Both were white, my friend told me the guy had been cheating on her. I watch the show cheaters and saw some cheating going on by white men. Lol date white men because they are men not because they are perfect because you will be disappointed. All men have faults and make mistakes.
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Ruth116 says:Posted: 14 Aug 23
My daughter's white father cheated on me and I had a married WM member here on IDC, try to hit on me. I told the loser I'd tell his wife on him if I could and hope she finds out and kick his wretched carcass to the curb. I told him to pound sand before blocking him. He's unfaithful to his wife and would probably be unfaithful to me as well. Likewise, at another IR site, a married BM member wrote that he was married, but he and his wife "had an understanding". I thought to myself, "Understand this!", then blocked his carcass, too. One has to be very careful about whom they get involved with. There's scoundrels galore lurking about, be they black, white, green with purple polka-dots, orange with green stripes or blue with silver checkerboard patterned.
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blackbelle01 says:Posted: 13 Feb 16
Well I am a BW and I know many BW that have never dated a BM because they were areas where there were few Blacks for them to date.
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mkd1202 says:Posted: 03 Aug 12
With so many different people, so many different upbringings, so many different experiences, you can't say there is one definitive reason why a woman or man is attracted more to one race than another. There are a plethora of reasons, subliminal and/or overt. Personally, I am very attracted to black women. But that's not to say that I'm not attracted to women of other races or mixed races. I'd like to think that a woman who dates outside of her race dates that way because she is truely looking to find the right fit for her and the love of her life.
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blackbelle01 says:Posted: 23 Sep 15
mkd1202 Wow I wish you were a little bit older (Smile) you are so hot.
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ahotmess says:Posted: 02 Aug 12
i exclusively ONLYdate white men,and i dont apologize for it ;-)
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kisanavarre says:Posted: 06 Jul 12
A woman who is comfortable in her own skin and doesn't define herself by the man she's with. Nor does she judge the man by the skin he's in.
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Eireland says:Posted: 06 Jul 12
It's simply women trying to find their perfect match I imagine. Its hard enough to find the perfect partner, Why would you want to eliminate half of the population before you even start? Whatever the true reason, I am very very happy they chose to do so.
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sheshe1163 says:Posted: 29 Jun 12Attraction is a very personal thing. We all have preferences in what we like whether it's food, clothing., where we live and who we love. Color of skin is only or should only be an after thought. We put too much emphasis on color when we should be focusing on honesty, integrity, common goals and compatibily. The color of your skin does not guarantee these traits. To me there no difference in whether in why a black woman would date/marry a white man or a black, Asian, Latino or any other man. No specific ethicnic group has a corner on love and respect. I've dated men of different ethnic groups and you can find duds in all of them. If your man treats you like a queen he can be black as night or the whitest white man you can find, that's your man. Love him freely!
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Aquan says:Posted: 25 Jun 12
The kind of black woman who dates a white man is the same kind of black woman who dates any man who loves, respects and treats her right!
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dave_74 says:Posted: 23 Jun 12
What kind of Black woman dates a White man? out of my expirience alone, a rapper, a real estate agent, lawyer, policewoman, a soldier from the ranks of Private up to General, a beauty pagent winner... Miss East Africa... and Olympic athletes ... and thank god, my wife on Team Kenya who gave me a chance.
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devnull says:Posted: 15 Jun 12
@Islandmixie "They would go too far with criticisms and delve in a place that was bordering on control when it came to speaking their minds. They did not do this with other races of people. Basically they let their guards down and what I saw intimidated me as felt threatening." You made a very good point above. I have often been told by many black women that I am so different from most black men because I am easy to get along and even if our opinions differ it should not lead to world war three. In General I think some black men and women on average are too secretive and make a big deal out of non-issues. The irony is that some white women echo the reverse and say most white men they have dated or married are not as open or easy going.....again it all boils down to the people we let ourselves fall into their trap with sweet words and physical attraction. Only weak men of any colour do not show their emotions or express their fears to their partners and women at the end of the day men hurt too and have anxieties.
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devnull says:Posted: 15 Jun 12
Personally I think any black woman or any person for that matter who ONLY dates outside their race is suffering from a severe case of inferiority complex and has issues. I think it will be very odd for me to say I don't date black women only white women which now beggars the question. Why am I am on an interracial dating site? Which my answer will be I came on these site to meet women of all colours. The few black women I know who date white men do so because they GENUINELY happen to like them and would have dated the same man if he was black or rainbow coloured. Sorry to to spoil the party but some white men are just looking for a black woman as a play thing how many will seriously take you home ( Yes America is still rife with racism but it is no excuse ). On the other hand most men irrespectively of colour just want to have fun. At the end of the day it is a personal choice just so long as it is a genuine choice and not wanting to get what is out of your reach. By nature people of the same colour are naturally attracted to each other. A man's quality is determined by his personality not his colour no matter how many bad men a woman has met. As my gran bless her once said MEN AND WOMEN HAVE TO LOOK WITHIN THEMSELVES AND FIX WHAT IS ATTRACTING THEM TO THE WRONG PERSON. Good luck to everyone in their search for their soul mate irrespective of their colour.
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Scorpion133 says:Posted: 12 Jun 12
i did not come here to do battle with anyone. i thought the topic was ( what kind of woman dates a white man) for your information my comments were meant in support of thid issue. i can see now that this is no place for me to search for a life`s friend and partner. i wish all of you the best.
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IslandMixie1 says:Posted: 10 Jun 12
I don't think White men are any better than Black men but I do find it to be much less difficult to relate to and communicate with White men. It had been that way with me since childhood. There have been great black guys I was interested in the past but there was always some type of cultural difficulty due to dialect, accent, fashion, and common interests. Something I've noticed that might just be specific to me is that every Black male I was acquainted with wished to "put me in check" no matter how kind they were in the beginning. Then their is the game playing and differences in courtship. They would go too far with criticisms and delve in a place that was bordering on control when it came to speaking their minds. They did not do this with other races of people. Basically they let their guards down and what I saw intimidated me as felt threatening. Boundaries were overstepped because they felt I should be able to " deal with it". Also my embracing my mixed heritage brought discomfort to them even though they admitted they were drawn to me because if my mixed heritage and physical traits. I know it's not easy being a black man and I think they have a higher level if stress and possibly supress parts of their psyche to accommodate societal standards. A strong black woman can deal with this. I cannot.
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Scorpion133 says:Posted: 08 Jun 12
good evening to all here, especially to ms. lenkamoacha. beleive it or not i appreciate your opinion of me, and what i said here. if you had read carefully the things i wrote, you would have seen that i am a supporter of this site and the right of people to choose who they want to spend their lives with. this is why they call this site interacial. the part about money and blk. women comes from those who have displayed this motive. like us all women are not the same. there have been comments here from women who i know said as much. in the english language FREEDOM entitles you the right to choose. ms. lenkamoacha i only wrote the truth, i hope you follow up on this issue here and read this reply. i viewed your profile, and all i said was wow! i do hope you have success in your search here , and everyone else.
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LovelyErin88 says:Posted: 06 Jun 12
"If you asked me, the kind of Black woman who has a white husband or boyfriend is one who is smitten with love… one who falls for, dates and marries a man who makes her happy no matter the race." 100% agree with you, I am black woman, and I love all color types. It really doesn't matter, but as long as I can remember, I've always been mostly attracted to most white guys. Only thing is, I've only dated black guys. I just love being in love, it doesn't matter what color you are, as long as there are real connections and attractions. I'm single, but if a white that I'm interested in has a mutual attraction in me. I will go for it. Happiness and love is all that counts. Point blank period.
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zillahkatz72 says:Posted: 01 Jun 12
Lenkamoacha - Yes! Hopefully we are evolving enough as a species to honor the fact that we just all have different preferences. I am a white woman who has dated a variety of ethnicities. I am very attracted to black men. I've had friends ask me why - not in a judging way, just because they were curious. I generally turn it around and say, "Why do you like redheads?" Or short girls? Or tall guys? Or whatever? Most people can't come up with a concrete answer, it's just what makes our heart skip a beat. Date who you want to date, love who you want to love. Period.
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LenkaMoacha says:Posted: 30 May 12Scorpion133, I take offense at what you just said about , "if a BM was rich and didn't mind spending." I am a black female that have loved dating and marrying white men all my life, because contrary to beliefs such as what you purport, I truly enjoy being with white men. It is not about money, or the superficial things you seem to want to portray. We, black women who love and date, and marry white men, don't do it for the money, for your info, I made more money than my ex, who was white, and still do than most men I date. So, tell me, why do the white ladies like black men? It would be totally ignorant if you were to tell me it was mainly for sex, or money for that matter! Wake up brother. We are all from the "Human Race", therefore shouldn't we chose our partner from such? Stop spreading hate and stereotypical thought. The world is getting smaller you know! And thank God for color-blind love! LenkaMocha
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Dion112 says:Posted: 30 May 12What kind of Black woman dates a White man? The kind of black woman who does not see the color of the skin, but knows the kind of love that she seeks. Besides, most white male, really knows how to treat the sisters like princess.
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SugaIcedT says:Posted: 29 May 12I don't believe that black women can be classified into different groups that would date white men. To assume otherwise would be stereotyping; a word that America is all too familiar with. It all depends on a person's preference.
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