Why some Black women only date White Men
We always talk about Black women and how they can’t date White men. Well, there are those black women that only date White men. I remember a pal of mine telling me once that she will never get married to Black man. And even as kids, when playing make believe, she was always married to a White guy.
The reason for women like her who only date white men may be very similar to the reasons why most Black women only date Black men … attraction. Some also feel that Black men treat them better than any other man ever could, and they feel that they'd rather have what they know instead of experimenting with what they don’t know.
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Some Black women are just not physically attracted to Black men. And as much as parents usually like hooking us up with people of our own race, well it reaches a time when you have to be honest with yourself. Imagine my pal for example: As a child, her first crush was Adam Sandler, then as she got older, she fell in love with Mel Gibson. This doesn’t mean that Black men aren’t handsome – they are just not her type.
Some also feel that White men (not ALL but many) find black women to be remarkable in every sense of the word; hence Black women tend to gravitate towards those affections. Much as her husband treats her better than any man ever had, one lady admits that she has been with some White men that disgusted her with their behaviors. But she says that generally, older White men and very mature on a broader level than with Black men on many levels.
Some are just wildly turned on by the differences … skin color, hair, being raised in different cultures, music, foods … the list is endless. Its all about the desire for the mysterious and unknown. And for some, its just pure love because there are those that forget that we are ‘black’ and ‘white’ and just coincidentally happened to fall in love with a White guys.
One thing we all have to remember is that not every White man is a Black woman’s dream. It all depends on the individual … good and bad comes in all colors.
With that said, the generic phrase - ‘It should be about love and not color’ – is cute. But in this case, not entirely truthful. Its not only about love. Much as love gets cultivated eventually, there is physical attraction and a declaration to date only one race. Racist or preference?
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1842 responses to "Why some Black women only date White Men"
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Queenbee7519 says:Posted: 20 Apr 10
Cynt. I am glad to see that you have found a white guy who treats you like the queen that you are. I fell in love with a white guy 18 years ago who was so wonderful to me and treated me like a queen. What is a huge turn off are white guys trying to set you up with black guys since they assume all sistas want brothers when some of us are genuinely not interested in dating or marrying black men. Many black women are starting to be real with themselves about love and romance and realizing that their chances at dating and marriage lies outside of their own racial backgrounds.
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Queenbee7519 says:Posted: 20 Apr 10
To Lila, I am with you on that one I never desired a black man despite having been raised in an all black neighborhood long before I attended all white schools. I could careless who they're with as long as they don't approach me looking for a relationship and they leave me alone too. They can say I sound boughie and stuck up all they want, but I have standards that does not include being saddled down with a black man.
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Lila says:Posted: 16 Apr 10
I'll be honest with you. I don't care for black men and I never will. They can date whoever they want as long as they leave me alone!
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lula says:Posted: 27 Mar 10
this is absolutely stupid. i find that the most stupid, ignorant stuck-on race people are American whites and blacks. they are continously bringing race into the factor.insecure racist black people and insecure racist white people. you all need to get a life. and for that posting about my black boyfriend buys me this and that and this and that....you sound really stupid and materialistic... you sound like a joke. u probably are just a big joke.
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Cynt. says:Posted: 21 Mar 10
New to this, Had my 1st date with a white guy I loved it. He made me feel so comfortable. I dont find Black men lovable an more. I once felt like he was my king and i his gueen, but now I dont feel forfulled by them.
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Charisma says:Posted: 06 Mar 10
Hi, everyone (msheartflwr) I am new to this site. I am a black woman who is very attracted to white men. I am very approachable and have always been very friendly all my life. I'm always smiling because I have an inner joy and that makes me very approachable. There have been many, many black men that have tried to pull me down and abuse me because they had many hidden insecurities and I hung in there with them and tried to be of assistance in helping them in their lives. I am a passionate, loving, sweet, sincere woman. I am now continuing my college education and love to perform, model, love community work, and the financial industry. I get lots of attention everywhere I go in any cultural neighborhood and I am a dark brown skinned black woman. Many black men that i've dated would be jealous of the attention I get and were insecure when men would desire me and people liking me and they would not understand that I only had eyes for him and loved him wholeheartedly. I had to learn to love myself more because while loving these men, I would give them support in many ways, I would help them financially, have sex very often, cook for them, clean their homes, let them drive my mercedez (when they could'nt keep their car), give them encouraging words all the time, be nurturing, etc. and my pay backs would be for them to abuse me. President Obama addressed the black nation when he was running for president and stated that he will help and encourage the black man to get themselves together and start taking care of their responsibilities when he becomes president. What happened to the black man? Why don't most of them want to even take care of their children? Why are more than 50% of black males not graduating from high school? Just want to hang out and walk around looking like a clown with sagging pants and speaking half words that you don't understand. Where are the father figures and leaders to show these kids what to do and not to do at home and in society? Why are they shooting each other? The point I'm making is that there is a major crisis going on and I was never appreciated by black men and have seen it by many other women. I have researched and see these problems and conditions as I work as a community leader. Don't get me wrong, I know that there are some good black men hiding out there in a field, but by what I see and by talking to a lot of women, even my white women friends who have dated black men, most don't feel appreciated by a black man and are just torn down by his fake ego. I understand msheartflwr when she said that most of the white men that she's been around or have dated seemed to care about her feelings. I have never been or been told that I am a angry black woman, any woman, though and the ones who are angry would be angry if she continuously try hard to help a man, but in return gets run over by a truck with him being the driver and if she gets pregnant, she becomes a b__ch to him and she has to raise kids alone (making sure the boys don't get in gangs and learn about manhood coming from a mother who is a woman and trying to teach the girls about men as a single mother), like the ridiculous # of over 70% of black fathers are not raising their children, that # is totally ridiculous!!! (no responsibilities!) I'm not going to put any race on a pedestal, but I have better intellectual, fun, fulfilling conversations with white men and they seem to appreciate me more. I've been attracted to the white male since I was a little girl and fantasized about marrying Joey McKintyre from the singing group, "New Kids on the Block" when I was 12 years old. I will not be abused again, just for loving a man wholeheartedly, I don't care what color he is. I just know and even Obama knows that there is a major concern with the black male right now.
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msheartflwr says:Posted: 01 Mar 10Hi mecca77, Thanks for responding to my comment. I do agree with you on most of what you are saying. There are angry black women, but there are angry women of other colors. The problem I have is society has made the black woman the poster child. I feel as if our culture started it. Possibly the men. I get so tired of watching a movie and the only angry person in it seems to be some angry black woman. The one that comes to mind right away is "Norbit". Not that thats a perfect example lol. But I hope you understand what I'm trying to say. I enjoy being treated well and with respect as any other woman and everytime I want to say something I disagree with why should "angry black woman" be the issue and not the real problem. I've been blessed I haven't come across any white men to say angry black woman to me. The White men I have been around. Actually wanted me to tell them what I was feeling. It felt alot better having the subject be about what I felt. I communicate much better with someone who actually cares about me, not just deflecting the issue with steretypes. So far I've found that in White Men. They seem to want to protect and understand the women in their lives more instead of putting her down. Thats just what I've experienced. God Bless
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bigeyes31 says:Posted: 01 Mar 10ONE more thing. Yes, I had a bad experience but it didn't negate ALL of the MANY,MANY good experiences that I have had ever since! Interesting... Peace
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bigeyes31 says:Posted: 01 Mar 10
@Mathew the above post was addressed to you,sorry.LOL See, I told you Christians aren't perfect,LOL! Peace
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bigeyes31 says:Posted: 01 Mar 10
Well, this is what I try to remember when dealing with church. Christ is not the institution of church and all it's legalisms;God didn't create these, man did. I try to remember that my relationship is with Christ. Communing with him in prayer,reading and practicing the principles of the Bible are communion as well as worship. I believe if you do this,then you have church everyday. Afterall, Jesus said that the "church" was in us(believers). I tell people who refuse to pay tithes to the church, which is a tenth of your increase, because they feel like the preacher is just all about money.My answer for them and my own life is that I follow my father's requirements. After I have obeyed him I'm am not responsible for THEIR disobedience.Now, it is our responsibility to examine the soil we plant in. In other words if this church is not doing what Jesus said we were supposed to such as feed the poor, take care of the widow,help those in need then it's not good soil.Jesus said you will know them by their fruit in other words their actions,their results. They should be producing something if they are on the right track.Jesus said every man(mankind)will give an account for every idle word.Many people will stand before him and say well God, I didn't do_____ because so and so wasn't ______,but God will say... I gave you my word(instructions,my son, my love,etc.)why didn't YOU do what I commanded?Why didn't you follow me? Too many people look to men(Preachers,church). Men are fallable.Preachers are men.People in church are men(mankind) Jesus said look to him,follow him, not people or people in church. Watch their fruit, if it's good then it's okay to be inspired by them. Not every building erected in God's name is about God. I remember that and it helps me.Many things will come to try and separate me from my faith but I keep in rememberance of whom I look to. I experienced some years ago, what we call in the southern penecostal churches, a "church hurt",LOL. I know it sounds funny but bare with me. I became disillusioned by some things I saw and heard that I felt that shouldn't be in in church. I almost threw in the Towel but instead I talked to God about it. I told him I was angry and hurt and asked him to heal me of the dissappointment and hurt. Over time he revealed to me just what I told you. I took my focus off him and put it on the preachers and the church.If you look to men, you will be hurt or disappointed. He had to let me learn the difference between him and people. I have learned that there are no perfect churches but there are churches with good ground and good soil. It's OUR(believers) responsibility to get rooted in them. It's too deep to make short,sorry. You are right about the religious debates. I was drawn one in the "Why White Men Love the Black Woman" blog some weeks ago and I don't plan on doing that again. That time it was an aethiest. I just tried to tell him it's better to date someone who believes(or not believe) as he does. Next thing here comes all these debates about religion and what not. None of which had ANYTHING to do with what he originally asked. So I'm done. Peace
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Matthew says:Posted: 01 Mar 10
It's not your fault things didn't work, and it wasn't just our differing views on faith that put a damper on our relationship (there were quite a few surprises that came out of the woodwork). I actually used to be very involved in church activities and considered myself to be a devout christian but I became very disillusioned with the faith due to money becoming a very talked up issue in the Sunday sermons. But on the other hand, I've only been to churches that were attended and operated by white people. I've never been to a predominantly black church. The only knowledge I have of black churches is from movies and as we all know, movies aren't quite real life. I could get into a big existential debate but there's probably a forum better suited for that. Wouldn't want to get to far off topic LOL :)
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bigeyes31 says:Posted: 01 Mar 10
@Matthew Well, first off I would like to say that I'm sorry that things didn't work out. Off topic????Have you read some of the OTHER blogs???LOL. Trust me, you are ok. :-) You are not imagining things, it's true. I think you have to realize that for black people our faith has been a way of surviving under the pressures of being black in this country. It is also a very deep spiritual relationship with Christ who we believe is our hope. Christians seek to live by the Bible which we believe is God's instruction manual,if you will, love letter, promises, encouragement and spiritual understanding of real-life problems from him to us.We believe that nothing should not and cannot separate us from Christ's love. That means even other people, relationships not of God, sin,etc. I have said all this to try and make you understand how very,very important and meaniful our faith is.It can't be taken lightly and is usually not by a true Christian. It is spiritual and deep in nature. So, naturally if someone you love doesn't share that same connection....needless to say, there will be problems.
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Matthew says:Posted: 01 Mar 10
@bigeyes31 This is off topic but in response to your preference for christian men... I'm not christian, in fact the most accurate word for me would probably be agnostic. My ex-girlfriend (who happened to be black) was very christian and it eventually became a point of friction between us. But on average I've noticed that black women (and men) seem to have very passionate feelings when it comes to faith, especially the christian faith. Would you say that's true or am I just imagining things?
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bigeyes31 says:Posted: 26 Feb 10
I'm so over the race of a man. I don't care but I do have a preference for christian men along with being a trekkie,nice personality and very funny,etc. Those are THE HARD PARTS,LOL...race??Please. Peace
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bigeyes31 says:Posted: 26 Feb 10
@matthew Yes, most black women have been taught that we have to be tenacious ,while still remaining loving and loyal,but so have other races of women.
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Matthew says:Posted: 26 Feb 10
I don't think black women are all necessarily angry, but I do think they are much more tenacious than most white women... And I find that incredibly hot :)
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prrs77 says:Posted: 24 Feb 10After reading down this thread I am a little confused. I understand there are still people for whom interracial couples are an issue, but what could possibly drive someone to want to enforce that viewpoint on a site for interracial dating? As far as why a black woman might be attracted to a white man? Why not? I fail to see why it would even be an issue.
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mecca77 says:Posted: 24 Feb 10
oh oh here we go again..now to msheartflwr. look i had whites do the same thing. oh oh, the angry black woman, and some of us are angry. shit i am one of them..lol. i have reason to be. but that's another oprah winfrey show. you have a lot to learn. i like challenges to prove people wrong and i have. i hear it. sometimes. i date multiculturally . my lover is irish american so what. everyone thinks hes a alkie and he does not drink see that sterotype.. ? hmmm. we all have sterotypes. but you know some of us have to admit , some are true . weather we like it or not. hey take things with a grain of salt. but when a black woman do get pissed off. yeah not all are not assertive. i seen so many of my sisters hold a lot of shit in. let it out. ! scream to you cannot scream anymore, shout howl at the moon dammit!! because i do, i do,i am like nina simone on a hot summers night. "and you know how i feel" i do not care when someone calls me a angry black woman. i am happy, with self. because you know why. i let go and let god. yes. i said it!.. but it's a new day its a new life for me. BE WELL.
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Drizz says:Posted: 23 Feb 10
Im a white male and I love Black women. Most dark skinned black women seem to be attracted to me. I have dated a few and was surprised when they would say things like "I will never date another black man" I concluded that they never felt appreciated by black men. I would always compliment and daze at them for just being a beautiful woman. I know all the sterotypes and the trash talk that people believe about Black women. But I know its not true. The black women I was with were college educated, working, and very stong willed. I was surprised they were single and even more surprising liked me. Ha...I date a black woman now and I can really say "no matter what, she loves and stands beside 100%.In my opinion Black women are very loyal with love.
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Blueye says:Posted: 21 Feb 10
OMG--lighten up! Overanalysis leads to paralysis. People should be free to exercise their freedom to date amd marry who they want, period. If someone else has a problem with that, too bad.
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wonka says:Posted: 19 Feb 10
Not to mention,many black men are embarressing to be with in public,because of the way they act and treat woman.This makes it bad for the rest,and then there is a stigma attached to all or the average black man and it makes double hard for the good ones!.
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wonka says:Posted: 19 Feb 10
Well many Black women are insecure,it seems to me that it's usually the black women who may be/appear to be bi-racial in their own right,that seems to have a craving for white dudes.I've seen so many black woman who are light-skinned,or really yellow with hazel eyes,curly hair dating white guys.It's as if most(Not all)want nothing to do with color,you all know what I mean when I say that.Many of these (in my opinion)wanna be white girls tend to forget where they come from,and when they get around their own they want to put on a front for the white man. However,when their around nothing but blacks they all of a sudden want to fit in.Those Black woman are fronters and no matter how mixed they are or may appear to be,if they have a black parent they will always be part of the black race,and that show for the white man will eventually run it's course. I don't care how white they act,or want to be the white man will not hesitate to bring them back to reality,in other words stay in your place.You may be bi-racial or appear to be as such,but your still a BLACK woman!!.To me interracial dating/relationships is way pass overrated,too many people are doing it and for the most part it's just an opportunity for them to say"oh well,my girlfriend/boyfriend is this or that"who cares.Many of these people are still prejudice and they are just experimenting,so please! people who are we kidding here not WONKA!!.
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msheartflwr says:Posted: 19 Feb 10
Hi Eveyone, I'm new to the site. I noticed from a teen white men were attracted to me more than my race. I finally decided to start dating white men. I find that I don't have to hear stereotypes with white men. More and More black men, even if they are wrong and theres a heated discussion will use the angry black woman stereotype. Why are black women expected to let people run over them. As soon as BW stand up for something thats wrong they are angry. I got sooo tired of being made to feel I have to take everthing to be a nice black women when all I really was was being a fool to pretend I didn't know he was treating me like crap. It seems black men are ok to say they are tired of angry black women. And I guess I just got tired of hearing so many stereotypes from black men or any minority. I find relationships with white men are so much easier. I don't feel stressed. Actually white friends I have that are male. Say they love it that BW stand up for themselves some think it's sexy lol.
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bigeyes31 says:Posted: 13 Feb 10
Oh and YOU...SHY...SAY WHAT??? The way you express yourself on some of the blogs,I'll say you have ALL the extroversion you NEED,LOL. DRAW ON THAT when you talk to these men,honey,lol. Being Online does make it a bit easier.
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Bamababe2k9 says:Posted: 13 Feb 10
I'm shy. It's hard for me to make or keep eye contact because I'm naturally shy. Online of course it's easier.
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bigeyes31 says:Posted: 13 Feb 10
Yes, I do agree with that. I have been working on my overall approachability when it comes to other races of men. I'm just used to black men being naturally brave, but even they have told me that I seemed "cold" but that I'm very warm once they got to know me and they are glad they took the chance. I DO carry myself a certain way though.
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Bamababe2k9 says:Posted: 13 Feb 10
@Bigeyes From my experience white men don't chase black women mainly because they think the majority of us wouldn't be interested in them. I've had lots of white men tell me they always were interested in sistas but they were afraid to approach us because some of us have such a stank attitude about IR dating. We screw our own selves sometimes by not being open-minded. In my opinion I think you'd see more white men dating black women if we would just be more open minded and stop worrying about why brothas date white women. To each its own I say.
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SexyEyes says:Posted: 12 Feb 10
I'm a black woman who is dating a white man...He has a great job as a firefighter (Captain). We have a lot in common and in October it will be two years for us. It seems as if we have a problem with the Black people more so any other race. We both love photography and enjoy going out taking pictures of whatever. I expect for black women to give negitive comments...but why? All other races seem to have over come the racism...so why are black people still speaking out about hate. If you come off as a person with attitude then you will be treated as the sort.
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kiki says:Posted: 10 Feb 10
the thing i hate so much!! is the fact that i like these guys of different races all the time! (im black by the way) i love asians and white guys, i just never know if they like black people! and i hate that because of all the things you here and see, i just never know if that person will physicaaly find me attractive like i find them attractive! i could always just ask, but i dont want to just be like "oh, do you like black girls?"ha. i have know problem with interracial dating, i just wonder what the other party thinks. i know there out there (white and asians who like black girls) and just dont know when and where =/
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bigeyes31 says:Posted: 09 Feb 10
@boots I just saw your compliment. Thanks alot for the "logic" comment on February 2. I'm glad you are sharing your ideas with us. Peace
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SnapCracklePop says:Posted: 09 Feb 10
Mr.Laurelton Queens, I thought that was funny! A good man like you? You mean a cheap, tacky, no personality west indian? Let's forget a man who complains like a woman on her period. I'm sorry but I don't want a cry baby and I don't want a man who pays more attention to the women on the web and in the world, than he does his own girlfriend. I'd rather become a lesbian than date you.Your not the worst but your not the best either. Far From the best actually. If your were such a "Good man" , why isn't your girl such a good woman? Cause I highly doubt you have someone who can compete with any woman on here, white or black. I don't know who told you your a good man but someone told you wrong. You an OKAY man, not a good man and not one I consider marriage or even serious relationship material. Sorry! SnapCracklePop
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Member says:Posted: 09 Feb 10
Yea keep skating by. Until you realize your role as a woman. Stop trying to wear the pants and you can find a good loving man. To bad there is not enough of me to go around. Good day
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tatted2death says:Posted: 09 Feb 10wow....I had stayed away from this thread because I thought......well, I am not going to say what I thought. Just glad I decided to skate through here......Alot of misconceptions were cleared up.....THANKS Peace and Blessings tatted2death
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boots says:Posted: 06 Feb 10
@ TYRANT............Thank you very much 4 your kind words concerning my post....I shall continue 2 voice my opinion on this subject..btw Iam a 48yr old blk male with a beautiful blk wife of 25yrs,and she feels the same way on this matter.
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TYRANT says:Posted: 04 Feb 10
No nation can enslave a race of people for hundreds of yrs,set them free bedraggled and penniless, pit them,with-out assistance in a hostile environment,against privileged victimizers,and then reasonably expect the gap between the heirs of the two groups to narrow.Lines begun parallel and left alone can never touch.(THE DEBT, RANDEL ROBINSON what america owes to blacks plum books (pg74) to Glasswing..You mention” oppressed group behavior” with all your superior intellect ,polished presentation and rhetoric etc, You have no real understanding of history at all,in truth there is an oppressed group, always has been. This week we celebrate 50 yrs since blks were able to eat at lunch counters,in the south a full 100yrs after slavery had ended.It seems sentiments down change so quickly in this country No Iam not a white hater as you say…and I dont blame whites for all the evil …but I refuse to be blind like you ..and yes there should be some anger..just like Jesus when he drove the money changers from the temple.You end your diatribe as so many of the other blk females who endorse interracial dating, with a defiant…”I will continue to date white men………..etc,as if we care about your life in particular… we are anonymous to you we have no desire to affect your life…when we seek nation building as black people, it should be of no concern to you b/c we have written your kind off. @boots I'm speechless...This is one EXCELLENT POST. I wish more black women thought like you, but then again, I wish more black people thought like you. When I read this I felt like I'd been slapped in the face...it was that potent. I don't have an issue with IR dating/marriage, but I do have a HUGE issue with white supremacist black women/men who think it's cute to bash the opposite sex of their own race while uplifting white men/women. I stayed off this board for a while because I thought a lot of the women had their heads way too far up their asses. Anyway, GREAT POST and HAPPY NEW YEAR. I AM TYRANT AND I HAVE SPOKEN.
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godiva61 says:Posted: 04 Feb 10
Greater is He that's in me than he that is in the world!!!! No weapons formed against me, shall prosper!
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boots says:Posted: 04 Feb 10
No nation can enslave a race of people for hundreds of yrs,set them free bedraggled and penniless, pit them,with-out assistance in a hostile environment,against privileged victimizers,and then reasonably expect the gap between the heirs of the two groups to narrow.Lines begun parallel and left alone can never touch.(THE DEBT, RANDEL ROBINSON what america owes to blacks plum books (pg74) to Glasswing..You mention" oppressed group behavior" with all your superior intellect ,polished presentation and rhetoric etc, You have no real understanding of history at all,in truth there is an oppressed group, always has been. This week we celebrate 50 yrs since blks were able to eat at lunch counters,in the south a full 100yrs after slavery had ended.It seems sentiments down change so quickly in this country No Iam not a white hater as you say...and I dont blame whites for all the evil ...but I refuse to be blind like you ..and yes there should be some anger..just like Jesus when he drove the money changers from the temple.You end your diatribe as so many of the other blk females who endorse interracial dating, with a defiant..."I will continue to date white men...........etc,as if we care about your life in particular... we are anonymous to you we have no desire to affect your life...when we seek nation building as black people, it should be of no concern to you b/c we have written your kind off.
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boots says:Posted: 02 Feb 10
sorry...proper grammer is important,but not the sole focus...(Iam one of those blk bros who loves himself)
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boots says:Posted: 02 Feb 10
Greeting 2 all....Big eyes..got the best logic on this subject, that I 've ever heard , coming from a blk woman....Glasswing is on her high horse ,like so many other blk females that want 2 swing that way... btw u "aint" the only one that went to college. Iam on my way to the YMCA ,Iam going to try to break this down 2 her later...Iam one of those blk bros that love themselves...u know, like to eat right and keep this body fit....lol
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kiki says:Posted: 02 Feb 10
its not really a matter to me what race you are, i would rather like to say im more attracted to white guys and asians. i have seen some cute black guys though(usually mixed though =O) =P im %50 african,%25 filipino,%25 white by the way.
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Member says:Posted: 01 Feb 10
Dear Big eyes I don't know if white men just run away because you don't give up the 'body". I think society is becoming more impatient as time goes on. I know many men who will get a woman's number and just won't call her. They either to busy at work or juggling multiple woman. See black men get the reputation of being "players". White guys tend to "slide" by because of the perception they work at their jobs so they have no "time" to get women. There is a double standard. You think the escort business, porn business and overseas sex tours stay afloat because of minority men. Black men are visible due to black entertainers and athletes. Society worships sports. But the flip side to that is black men are associated with criminality also. I personally think men treat their own race of women different than other races of women. I know white guys that will tell you 'white women" are materialistic. You couldn't get them to be with a white woman. People go off past experiences.
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bigeyes31 says:Posted: 01 Feb 10
Dating outside of one's race is purely a personal choice, to each it's own. To pretend that racism doesn't play a part in every aspect our society is ludicris and frankly apart of the utopian mindset."Imagining" that white men are not racist just because they sleep with black women or hispanic women is unhealthy. I don't subscribe to the "the blame the white man" mentality because in this country you can be successful despite of the social-economic hinderances. It's up to the individual. Now, to put white men on pedastals because he says oh "I'm attracted to black women and I think now, that I'm forty and tired of my white wife I'll do some mental "cheating" and fantasize about black women....there's something missing. I have been asked out, flirted with and dated one white guy but they are just like any other man when he finds out you are not giving up your body without a committment. White men will look at a black womnan turning him down with utter surprise because he subconsciously believes you are inferior to him and not supposed to say no to him because a black woman in his mind is a hyper-sexualized and inherently predatory being, irregardless of how you carry yourself. That's why a white man whose wife has a master's degree is STILL ghetto to him. A black man will be put off too if he thinks he isn't going to be able to have sex with you but he's not likely to act surprised or expectant unless you are an exotic dancer or something. Let's be real here, white men are not "chasing us" that's just truth and to point out a couple of exceptions is hardly enought to build point.
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Member says:Posted: 01 Feb 10
Dear everyone This topic is heating up. I have to go to work. I will just keep it brief for now. Not all white people are the devils. Not all white people "have money". I live in a rural town with 'struggling' white families. I see fundamental differences between poor whites and poor blacks. I had to bring a white client that was 8 years old and his mother to the welfare office in town. I went into it the shit was empty. At first, I was like did the staff go on lunch? My inference is poor white folks will go the welfare office as the "last result". Pure speculation you say? I use to live in New York City and we have the internet. The Welfare office was packed ALL THE TIME. Now I am not saying white people are not on the system. But there is a fundamental difference in thinking in the country concerning relying on the gov't for assistance. Let me just address Glasswing She makes excellent points. I never really liked the "blame the white man" for everything when I don't succeed. However, if you are going to tell me white men are "chasing black women". That is false. I would agree some black people want to "think like them". But you chose to join a AKA sorority. I know many professional black women in sororities and black organizations. From my observation, the reasons friendships fracture with black women in sororities is usually over a man. One member gets married and ignore her "sorority friends". One member ego is bigger than the other. Arguments of male friends that they feel is more important than the sorority "agenda". Glasswing makes good points but the fact she dodges a response back. It feels like elitism. They wonder why sellout black women fail all the time. This woman is the precise reason. They starting feel their "breasts to much".
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Nikkle says:Posted: 01 Feb 10
The whole comment about not having received a ring in marriage is erroneous; I was married to my daughter's father (yes, the white guy) and he and I divorced and not over race issues. I am concerned about the human race and I have not had problems attaining employment or fair treatment as a result of my race. I must admit I sometimes encounter whites who feel inferior to my more polished presentation, my rhetoric and superior intellect as I have encountered with blacks who want me to stay at the bottom of the crab bucket (AKA not selling out). Prison issues go back to the home life and environment to which the children were exposed. Your whole perspective is built on "Oppressed Group Behavior" which is a direct result of a sort of thinking that is perpetuated without rationalization. You will never change because who then will you blame for your failures or your anger. My dating a white man still remains the least of your issues. I agree with the theory that one of the major factors that keeps the oppressed (Angry African Americans like yourself) from becoming empowered is poor self- and group esteem and identity; that which you so obviously suffer. If at any point in time blacks were viewed as inferior by a disproportionate number of whites, It is my conviction that it no longer the case in the same proportion. Sure, there are racist whites; who cares? I don't need them or you to validate me and YOU DON'T NEED MY VALIDATION OR A WHITE PERSON'S VALIDATION OF YOU. With that being said, a person who exhibits undesirable behavior and failure to conform to societal norms is always frowned down upon regardless of their race. Your comments that white men have no respect for black women is a poor attempt to evoke feelings of inferiority in me. Which blacks like yourself use as a form of manipulation to keep other blacks oppressed. YOU and only you have repeatedly marginalized me and other African American women as black women on this blog; not the phantom "hypocritical white man" you speak of. I have had unpleasant experiences with all races of people and never once did I attribute it to my color. You want to know why? I don't suffer from an inferiority complex and I have empowered myself. I love myself because of (not in spite of) my color or ancestral history of slavery. The core values I speak of relates to someone who like myself is bidirectionally committed to democracy in the relationship, mutual respect, always putting the members of the relationship first, having a strong love of education and being free from a racial inferiority complex. Not consistent with my core values would be thinking and conviction that supports the behavior of degrading someone to manipulate them and to further a "group oppressing cause" Just because someone is black doesn't make another black person compatible with them. This is the myth of the common reality. I'm not much of a fan of anecdotal evidence and faulty logic. Just because a white person asks about black hair care doesn't mean that the question is sinister. I ask people of different cultures and races about things of that nature often because it is fascinating. I will say that it is truly sad to know how pervasive this "oppressed group behavioral" problem extends. I believe many of these racist incidents with whites were expected so there was no way to have any other perspective following your encounters. Self fulfilled prophecy. I guess by the definition of many of you hard core "white people haters" and "believers of the white conspiracy to continue to oppress blacks" I am a "sell out" and since I love myself I have to love that attribute about me as well as my other attributes. It is futile to banter back and forth. But, feel free to lash out, I understand your psychological confusion and distress;I am thankful to God that I am free of it and can only pray that you all find peace. I will continue to date white men or marry another one should I choose regardless of your oppressed group behavior and self oppressing beliefs. Will not respond anymore to this blog because it is futile. But thanks for the experience. It was enlightening!
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