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Why white men love the black woman

Posted by James, 31 Aug

Ever wondered why some white guys, love black women so much?

It seems that being a white male and proclaiming your attraction to black women (not only sexually, but also romantically) may lead to a lot of controversial and dangerous things. Let’s leave the debate of why more black women may be opening themselves up to white guys. The main focus of this debate is: why some white guys are opening themselves to black women. Let’s concentrate on that.

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Most white males don’t feel like they are running short of white women to marry. White males just marry at high rates. So question is: Why black women? The thing is it will not be fair to bundle up black women as one since everyone is their own person… be it in appearance or personality.

However, one thing that a white male friend of mine said… and I let him get away with bundling it all up is: “We love a black woman's confidence, her tenacity and her undeniable achievements in the face of great adversity...᾿ Since this info was coming from a man, there was definitely the mention of the lips, the curves, and that wonderful skin as well.

So what about stereotypes like “black women are either sexually conservative or total sluts?" Many people give so much lip service to interracial dating sites. You would think they have never done it. But those uptight individuals are the ones that spread these stereotypes. What happened to the highly educated black woman? How about the caring, decent and involved black woman?

Probably most white guys and others are confused with the stereotypical trash people spread around and if you are one that falls for such lame ol’ lines, then you sure as hell haven’t dated a black woman.

Bottom line, you don't have to sacrifice who you are for a white guy. They will love you anyway. Just be you and open yourself up… and if you like white guys, some white guy will find you too.

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8085 responses to "Why white men love the black woman"

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  1.   kissime says:
    Posted: 10 Nov 10

    For me, It's about preference. I'm old enough to know what I want in my life and who I'm attracted to. I've dated men of different races and I prefer white men. But I hate when people feel they need to degrade their race for whatever reason- it makes me sick. I'm not looking for a white men to save me as I've read on this blog. I was born and raised in a black country. My father was a well known man, and is now a published author. Most of the men in my family worked for the government and are all very established now-the young and the old. I grew up watching black actors and the models were black. But I never forgot having such a big crush on Ted, one of the characters on All my children when I was about 8 years old, and most of the cute white guys on TV. So my preference has nothing to do with not having a father or looking for a savior.

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  2.   Shawn156 says:
    Posted: 09 Nov 10

    I recently started dating a BW,I am a WM. I never really gave much thought about getting into an IR relationship but now that I am,I am actually happy I gave it a shot. We talked for nearly 4 months and went on dates in that time but officially became exclusive about a month ago. I have 2 children and she has 1. There has been no problems whatsoever with the kids accepting our relationship. Today my siblings found out since I haven't found a way to approach them,I just waited until they found out on their own. I wasn't sure how any of them would react so I never brought it up. I still am unsure what they think and at this point could care less. I am happy with who I am with and really that is all I care about. She treats me much better then any white women I have dated since me and my ex split 2 1/2 years ago.She does more then I ever thought anyone would do for me without me even asking. I feel she is trying to hard to impress me when she doesn't have to. I'm attracted to her in many different ways and to be honest,I never thought with the difference in race,that we could have so many things in common. But like I said,I never gave any thought to dating outside my race. With this being my first time with a BW,if we ever did split up,I don't think I would ever date another WF. It's just a shame we didn't meet a long time ago.I feel we were meant to be together.I have very strong feelings for her. I think getting to know her as a person first before anything else helped us out a lot and will be what keeps us together. We communicate very well and can tell each other if we feel something isn't right without arguing. I could go on more and more but I think I made my point. I see nothing wrong with dating outside my race and would be more then happy if one day we lived together.

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    • Twilight101 says:
      Posted: 10 Nov 10

      I'm very happy knowing that (more)black women are open to dating men of other races. I hate to hear my sisters say they could not imagine dating a white man or an Asian. But, I find it equally disturbing when black women bash black men (or when white men bash white women) and say they want to date white men / black women exclusively. There are wonderful people of all races. Don't limit yourself to just white or black.

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  3.   friendly13 says:
    Posted: 08 Nov 10

    @ Sweetphilly I am glad that you shed light that blackwomen are loving and supportive of their man. I know that you didn't say it exactuly like that but I felt like that was what you were saying. Whitemen are hard workers and they deserve someone who can appreciate that and be supportive of what they go through everyday.

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  4.   friendly13 says:
    Posted: 08 Nov 10

    @eddyready/bigten Thank you for sharing why you love the black women and showing that you are not reluctant about your feelings toward us. I appreciate that.

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    • EDDYREADY/BIGTEN says:
      Posted: 09 Nov 10

      YOU ARE MORE THAN WELCOME FRIENDLY13.YOU SOUND LIKE A VERY BEAUTIFUL PERSON.MAYBE WE CAN TALK ONE DAY SOON! I DON'T THINK THERE IS ANYBODY THAT LIKES BLACK WOMEN MORE THAN ME.IT'S ALL I KNOW AND WANT TO KNOW! TAKE CARE,SWEETHEART!

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  5.   kissime says:
    Posted: 07 Nov 10

    trishbenj24, just take your time to get to know anyone. Don't assume the worst-just be who you are and the rest will be so clear-eventually. I have dated men of different races & nationality and I've discovered a parasite is a parasite-that behavior has nothing to do with race. It's unbelievable how some may think you may be flattered from unwanted sexual advances & unwanted sexual contact. It only proves of delayed maturity. Believe it or not I used to think of men like these had a form of Mental disorder. A person with self-respect will never approach you with such insult. A man with self-respect will know better. Also pay attention to your behavior. It was hard for me because I'm a very affectionate woman, and people get that confused with sex sometimes. Men are also very visual so it may be the way you dress. I've always been uninhibited and I've always been misunderstood-now I understand that was understandable by viewers of "black & white" mentality. But I realize I'm not looking for a man so close minded, so I continue to be myself, and be aware. But remember you can't change people, you can only change yourself & your environment. Good Luck :)

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  6.   trishbenj24 says:
    Posted: 07 Nov 10

    Hello all!! I've read most of the comments on this thread. There are sone very interesting points of view. I've recently decided to broaden my horizons and open myself up to dating white men. My only concern is that I don't want to be anyones experiment or be apart of some sick fetish. This is not an experiment for me. This is something im taking very serious and in putting a lot of effort into........I've been on this site and two others for 2 weeks now and I've gotten some pretty inappropriate messages and I've also gotten 2-3 that are actually interested in getting to know me. So, I guess my question is.....to the black women. Do you sometimes feel like guys from other races view us as sex objects? Like all we want is sex? Or an experiment? Ex..... A white man instant messages me and said. "man! I'd really like to be inside of you" and after he realized that I was annoyed. He said he was just trying to flatter me. But, In my mind I was thinking. What would make him think that that's flattering? I can't think if any culture where that would be considered flattery.

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    • EDDYREADY/BIGTEN says:
      Posted: 07 Nov 10

      HI;TRISHBENJ24,I'M HAPPY YOU DECIDED TO BROADEN YOUR HORIZON.I WISH YOU THE BEST.LET ME APOLIZE FOR THE GUY YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT ABOVE.STUPID PEOPLE SAY STUPID THINGS AND WHAT HE SAID WAS STUPID! WE ALL KNOW WHAT HE MENT.IT WAS NOT FLATTERING.TAKE CARE!

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    • Twilight101 says:
      Posted: 08 Nov 10

      @ trishbenj24 A good man, is a good man, regardless of his race. A jerk, is a jerk, regardless of his race. I would not waste my time trying to figure out a jerk's motives. If a man approaches me inappropriately, I ignore him...don't respond...block his communications. I judge all men by the same standards. I don't like vulgar, over weight, inarticulate, ignorant, tobacco users of any race. My suggestion to you...be open to meeting good men...whatever "good" means to you. I am not looking for a white or black man. I'm looking for my definition of a "good man". Many times there are signs in a person's profile that let's you know what they are looking for. I steer clear of profiles with pictures of men in their underwear or even without a shirt. When a man gives details about what he wants sexually or gives details about a woman's anatomy--I move to the next profile. Be patient and don't settle!

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    • Lvly71 says:
      Posted: 12 Nov 10

      Yes some of them do. One man sent me a message saying " I just wanted to know what if feels like to be with a black woman." I sent him a message back stating " No self respecting Black Woman is going to be some experiment for him, and if he just wanted to know what if felt like to be with a black woman, he should consider purchasing a hooker." I have faced that many times, and it's unbelievable what some of the guys on this site come up with. One guys heading states " Looking for my "Oh no you didn't." A little less time watching movies that depict Black Women as ghetto trash and more time actually talking with us.

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  7.   SweetPhilly says:
    Posted: 03 Nov 10

    It's a simple answer, just that black women are more fun and have more personality. Black women are not moody, and if there's a problem, their arguments are logical, not full of BS. They always look better, smell better, just straight up make guys better.

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    • EDDYREADY/BIGTEN says:
      Posted: 04 Nov 10

      VERY WELL SAID SWEETPHILLY.COULD NOT HAVE SAID IT BETTER MYSELF. BLACK WOMEN ARE A BLESSING.ONE OF GODS GREATEST CREATIONS!

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  8.   friendly13 says:
    Posted: 02 Nov 10

    Hey, where are the handsome babydoll white guys who love us black women....I know I miss your comments. Can you guys come back and make us smile and show the world why you "..love the black women"? Because we love you and are looking for you.

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    • EDDYREADY/BIGTEN says:
      Posted: 04 Nov 10

      HI.FRIENDLY13,COMMENTS LIKE YOU JUST MADE ABOVE IS ONE OF THE REASONS I LIKE BLACK WOMEN SO MUCH.YOU'RE THE BABY DOLL!

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  9.   friendly13 says:
    Posted: 02 Nov 10

    @ Lvly71 I havn't had that experience. The experiences that I have had dating whitemen is that they all treated me like a queen. They took me to high class restaurants, presented me with roses, and were very proud to be seen in public with me. I do not look like Halley or Alicia though. I look and am build like a sister. Besides you are very pretty. I agree with twilight101, you have selected the wrong type of whitemen. Don't tolerate the ones who like to put on fronts. Ever seen the movie "The family that stays together prays together" All whitemen are not like that. My final point, don't be envious about what white women seem to have with black men...you don't know what some of them go through to keep what they have....on the other hand you probably do....but I don't want to bash all blackmen because I know they are not all the same either. Be blessed and know that there is a whiteman out there who will be proud to be with a beautiful sister like us.

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    • Lvly71 says:
      Posted: 12 Nov 10

      Thank you. I read what you said, and appreciate it very much and your right.

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  10.   Lvly71 says:
    Posted: 31 Oct 10

    I also prefer White men. That is when I can find one that's not afraid to walk down the street with me, ( and I am an attractive woman) or not be afraid of what his family or friends will think. I say if a Black man can walk down the streets with his White Woman and not be afraid, then why should the white man. The other problem I find with white me is that when they do step outside the box, they are either looking for Hally Berry, or Alicia Keys. They feel their family and friends will accept the relationship better if that woman was light in color. Give me a break.

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    • Twilight101 says:
      Posted: 01 Nov 10

      @ Lvly71 Sister, you are dating the wrong type of men. Find a man who first of all "is a man", and secondly, a man who respects and appreciates you. The white men that I dated platonically, even here in the south, are happy to be seen with me. The two white guys I dated seriously...where the "love" word was used...were willing to leave their families, when the family didn't accept the relationship. By the way, when people are racist, the "shade of black" skin really doesn't matter. They hate all black people...from the yellow ones to the blue ones.

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      • EDDYREADY/BIGTEN says:
        Posted: 14 Nov 10

        VERY WELL PUT Lvly71.IF A BLACK WOMAN CAN BE STRONG ENOUGH TO WALK BESIDE A WHITE MAN,HE SHOULD BE STRONG ENOUGH TO DO THE SAME.BOTH MY PARENTS ARE PASSED AWAY,BUT THERE FEELINGS WOULD BE IF I'M HAPPY,THEIR HAPPY,NO MATTER WHICH LADY I;M WITH.

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  11.   Leti123 says:
    Posted: 31 Oct 10

    I prefer a white man who is assertive when going out interraciaaly and not into stereotypes and what everyoneelse thinks societally_PUT YOUR MOUTH WHERE YOUR MONEY IS

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  12.   kissime says:
    Posted: 31 Oct 10

    VOTE DEMOCRAT! Change & Success takes time- Especially from years of damage. The recession started since mid 2007 President Barack Obama was elected on Nov 4, 2008 The inauguration of Barack Obama as the 44th President of the United States took place on Tuesday, January 20, 2009 I believe the government MUST intervene to prevent more damage. Foreclosure crisis and the economy started collapsing during the Bush administration Obama Administration is protecting American Families From Unfair, Abusive Financial practices to ensure that banks are no longer allowed to own, invest, or sponsor hedge funds, private equity funds, or proprietary trading operations for their own profit, unrelated to serving their customers. Responsible American families have paid the price for an outdated regulatory system that left our financial system vulnerable to collapse and left families without adequate protections. President Barack Obama is protecting and empowering families with the strongest consumer protections ever. Why did you not speak up doing the Bush administration when he was destroying America? The Bush administration’s criminal inattention to the victims of Hurricane Katrina in 2005 was emblematic of his disconnect from human reality (New Orleans is still a shell of its former self). It was pathological neglect like this that spurred much of the Obama Green Deal. Obama links a need for a new social compact with employment, education, and environmental concerns. I have yet to hear disappointment about the health reform from patients. The new health care law will: 1-Ensure that all Americans have access to quality, affordable health care. 2- Create a new, regulated marketplace where consumers can purchase affordable health care. 3-Extend much needed relief to small businesses. 4-Improve Medicare by helping seniors and people with disabilities afford their prescription drugs. 5-Prohibit denials of coverage based on pre-existing conditions. 6-Limit out-of-pocket costs so that Americans have security and peace of mind. 7-Help young adults by requiring insurers to allow all dependents to remain on their parents plan until age 26. 8-Expand Medicaid to millions of low-income Americans. 9-Provide sliding-scale subsidies to make insurance premiums affordable. 10-Hold insurance companies accountable for how our health care dollars are spent. 11-Clamp down on insurance company abuses. 12-Invest in preventive care. I'm in Health care. I've only heard complaints from some of the physicians. I wonder why. -Typically capitalism as a business model revolves around exploitation of the workers and the market squeezing profits from an underpaid workforce and over charging the consumer. The old system produced waves of credit bubbles and real estate booms followed by severe financial shocks and damage. Lets be honest, former president Bush is the down fall of America. And he was kept for 2 terms!. Who sent all of the jobs overseas? Who sent our soldiers overseas? The Bush- did--daddy & son, both republicans - The 9/11 Terrorist Attack and Overseas- Prevention of terrorist attacks should be within the United States. There was no need to send our soldiers in the middle east. Who sent our soldiers oversea? Bush! A Republican Where are the weapon of mass destruction? Why are our Soldiers oversea? OIL! And now our Brothers, Sisters, Aunts,Uncles, Cousins, Fathers, Mothers, our Friends have to stay there to clean up the mess made by their extremist government- Because of the greed of the republican! -VOTE DEMOCRAT -If you do not vote it automatically goes to republican

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  13.   friendly13 says:
    Posted: 30 Oct 10

    @MST3000 Thank you for sharing about you and your wife. My heart goes out to you concerning her loss. You stuck with her...I really admire that. She knew was dearly loved by you.

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  14.   friendly13 says:
    Posted: 30 Oct 10

    @kissime Actually there are laws against online stalking...they are covered under the stalking law. But there are some conditions that apply. I like this dating site because it has a blocking feature that works very well. I had to use it before. lol.

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    • kissime says:
      Posted: 30 Oct 10

      Thank you, friendly13 I've used the blocking feature also. But I wonder how we can apply the online stalking law to this wonderful blog :)

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  15.   cinnamon0310 says:
    Posted: 30 Oct 10

    MST3000---A beautiful story to share with us, and back then, it was so much race issues, hard times and more, and you both conquer it...My hat off to you both...I'm so sorry, for your loss..I thank you, as well, for sharing this wonderful/touching story...hugs

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  16.   MST3000 says:
    Posted: 29 Oct 10

    I was married to a black woman for 35 years, and we were together for over 42 years. My wife and I met in April, 1968. Incredibly, it was during the riots following the assassination of Martin Luther King, and most black people were pretty damned angry at white people. I could never explain “why” we fell in love with her…..we just did. She was just 18, getting ready to graduate from high school and go to college. I had just turned 27, recently divorced ( my first wife divorced me while I was serving my second tour of duty in Vietnam ), and was working for a security alarm company. We started talking while I was installing an alarm system at her mother’s house, and we never stopped talking until the day she died.

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    • Cynamyn82 says:
      Posted: 29 Oct 10

      That was a beautifully written story MST3000. I'm sorry to hear about your wife passing, but you are proof that interracial relationships CAN last. Thanks for sharing :)

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  17.   serenity33 says:
    Posted: 27 Oct 10

    Maybe you should stop focusing on me and concentrate on your positivity that you espouse to believe in so much and just ignore me like everyone else does. That would probably do more for your cause than constantly attacking me unless you just want to be another conformist on here which everyone seems to want to be;-). Why not focus on something positive like Carlo's post. He seems to be a very positive person.

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  18.   CarlosC305 says:
    Posted: 26 Oct 10

    I am married and not looking for anyone. I just read the top of this page and wanted to leave a comment. I have known a few black women in my years but was afraid of things people would say and think. There was one woman who I feel very inlove with. She too feel in love and I felt it. It quickly came to my mind that I didn't have to care what others thought or said, what mattered was us. We had a very good relationship for about a year. I helped her and her baby as much as I could and I thought we would be together forever. The father her the child is a Puertorican. I was born in N.Y. to Puertorican parents. She had a fear of the relationship because she assume I would cheat on her as her ex. Latino men a famous for this. I tried to show her I am not like them. My heart and mind are totaly different from latino's. but when things started getting very serious in our relationship, she broke with me. I'm not going to go through everything that happened after the break up because it's been eleven years now. But we have talked about what happened and she regrets not staying with me. So now we are very good friends and when we see each other, our hugs last a bit longer that they should. Oh, we never cheated on our spouses at any time. Let's be clear on that. But I have to say that a black woman makes a man feel whole, I don't think it matters his color. A black woman love her man till the end of time, or until he screws up. The feel of a black womans lips cannot be compared. The way she move in her walk. The way she whisper in my ears. I've been whith many white and latino women and never felt the wonderful feeling I got whith her. I think , no, I know that when I told her I would love her forever, I truely ment it. I will die with this feeling and I think she will feel the same when her time comes. My Boo, I'll be at the gates of Heaven waiting for you. I love You!

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    • serenity33 says:
      Posted: 28 Oct 10

      The vote is all that matters. So people in Muslim countries who have women that are promiscuous are fine to kill the women because that is the vote there? Read the short story “The Lottery” and tell me if the vote is all that matters. I am not talking about kids anymore ever and to use the logic that one has never been married to say you can’t help people is silly because that is like saying one has who has never been a pedophile or drug user can’t help out people like that. It doesn’t make any sense and the logic falls through but I can see that people are ruled by emotions on here, not logic so I don’t expect you to understand.

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  19.   friendly13 says:
    Posted: 25 Oct 10

    Hey ya'll know any good music: some oldies, some rock'n'roll, some country. I think that Trac Adkins is a baby doll. I love his song "You're gonna miss this". It is kind of old but so sweet.

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    • kissime says:
      Posted: 28 Oct 10

      friendly13 OMG!!! I can't stop laughing. Do you know if there is a law for on-line stalking? I'm sorry. I can't help it :)

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    • serenity33 says:
      Posted: 29 Oct 10

      I personally love from old music “lonesome loser” by the Little River band and “You can’t win” by Michael Jackson from the movie the Wiz with Diana Ross. What’s the matter? Do the people on here not like Michael Jackson or Diana Ross? How can any appreciate black culture and not love those two? I do and I love that entire movie!!:-) Just “ease on down the road!!” What? You guys don't like The Wiz with Diana Ross and Michael Jackson? What are you racial prejudiced? It is really sad when we are on a black website and all the black people are racially prejudiced against good black movies!! Are you you guys aren't a bunch of white supremacists in disguise? I am beginning to wonder with all my pro black statements being hidden!!

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  20.   friendly13 says:
    Posted: 25 Oct 10

    @ serenity33 I believe that you are going to find the woman who is compatible with your personality and you are going to be very happy. One thing I have learned is not to hold against a new partner what others have done to me in the past. Finding our soul mate can be risky. But it really is better to have loved than never to have loved at all. We learn from our experiences. I hope this message helps. You have an adorable face.

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    • serenity33 says:
      Posted: 26 Oct 10

      Thanks for the encouragement but I don't think I would ever find anyone who is compatible with me on here. The intellects are limited in their educations in my fields of expertise(I know, I did a keyword search for those areas and found nothing) and no one understands what I am saying on here plus the morality level is too low for my liking. And everyone acts like a victim on here when they have more say in what goes down with them than they care to admit responsibility for. They tend to be shallow and base in looks consciousness and treat sex way too lightly. I would do better on an intellectual Christian website or an intellectual psychological website. Sad thing is that most people in psychology don't mix it with Christianity very much so they make strange bedfellows. Thanks for the compliments but I am not holding my breath for fear of suffocation.;-) Good luck to you.:-)

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      • serenity33 says:
        Posted: 26 Oct 10

        PS friendly13-Just for the record, you are a very attractive woman all over and not just your face. I notice things like that but I don't let it impair my judgment when looking for a partner.;-) You should have no trouble in finding a guy whatsoever from my perspective.:-) Just being honest but never lusting for that is disrespectful to both men and woman and I would never diss a sister like that no matter how fine.:-) Always an unique individual to be appreciated and cherished, never a piece of meat.

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  21.   friendly13 says:
    Posted: 25 Oct 10

    @ Kissime You got it.

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  22.   kissime says:
    Posted: 23 Oct 10

    serenity33,, Yes I have read your compliments and have thanked you. I've decide not to debate with you. I've noticed how drained my spirit becomes when doing so. I have to admit for the last week I have been extremely bored & have spend too many of my free hours on this blog. As enjoyable as it's been from a social point - I'm going to resign from keeping you entertained (or as you have said enlighten) Let's just agree to disagree. But if you feel you need to justify yourself by writing in paragraphs too complex and long for most people to understand properly-more power to you. We all know you usually write in one paragraph rather than breaking it up into nice neat little pieces which you know is harder to read a long paragraph but because you are used to reading entire complex pages at one time and not stopping for paragraphs and keeping the entire thought in your head so that is the way you write. I just can’t comprehend where the rest of us get these ideas about you. I'm just going to focus on finding the love of my life. From now on I'm checking out all of these fine A** white guys profile ;)

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    • serenity33 says:
      Posted: 23 Oct 10

      What's there to disagree on? We both think children are blessings. And I don't justify myself by writing paragraphs too complex for most people to understand properly. I have studied all these things since I was little since my Father taught me then being that he was a social worker for Bucks County Children and Youth investigating child abuse so he would teach me very educated things since I was little and my older brother who was a Psychology major and then got his Master's in certified counseling taught me psychology and counseling. So I never had a normal childhood and with a 180 I.Q., I quickly grasped everything they were teaching me and went into psychology myself in college, my jobs and graduate school. So I never had a normal childhood growing up but was taught from a very early age. Plus I was taught theology personally from a number of really good pastors since I was a child. These were Pastors that took a personal interest in me and took out of their free time special time to tutor me in theology so I could quote scripture as a child let along going to Seminary and being raised also by a very religious Christian Father. My mother is a psychiatric nurse and a level three drug and alcohol counselor so she taught me what she knew. And I have spent my entire life around brilliant teachers and professors so I don't know how to talk more simply. If you ever talked to me privately of on the phone or in person, you would see I sound the exact same way. So don't hold my knowledge and intellect because I don't know how to be normal or speak normally. So it isn't a power thing but me just being myself. I wish people would understand that and accept me for who I am rather than pick on me and make false assumptions. I write long papers for the fun of it and read long complex books for the fun of it. True, by anyone else's standards I have no life other than that and I am the first to agree but don't deny me being different and try to pass me off as something baser than I am, please. The saddest part is that people on here are used to having prejudice against them yet they are guilty of the same crime towards me and just because I am a white male doesn't make it any less. Prejudice is prejudice so people, please don't be guilty of what has been done to you and be prejudiced and discriminate against me. And if you want to simplify your life by focusing on finding the love of your life and checking out the fine ass white guys profile, that is your choice and I see nothing wrong with it. Not all of us though are allowed to by our very nature and conscience to be so carefree in that capacity. Look up James book 3 verse 1 and you will see what I am up against. So good luck in your endeavors and please be careful about your stereotyping about me. And I never said entertain for the record, I said enlighten and that is what I meant. Please don't put words into my mouth that I haven't said and please encourage anyone who has a problem with what I say to ask me exactly what I mean so I can try and break it down more simply because I am like a kid who grew up with a Father for a mechanic and learned from lots of other mechanics growing up. This is all second nature to me and often when I use shop talk, I am misunderstood. So encourage people to point out statements that they don't understand that I say or disagree with so i can clarify rather than being lazy and just thumbing down what they don't understand. Galileo got in trouble with the church because he knew that the earth wasn't the center of the universe and he almost got killed because people didn't understand him. I would like to think we are more enlightened than that and can resolve our differences in a positive and adult manner and not be too proud to say we don't understand something when we don't rather than just automatically putting it down. I am more devoted to learning truths than I am in finding the love of my life like other people. Maybe if everyone understood that better, they wouldn't see me as such a threat.

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    • serenity33 says:
      Posted: 25 Oct 10

      1 Corinthians 6:9-10 warns us, "Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners shall inherit the kingdom of God."

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    • serenity33 says:
      Posted: 27 Oct 10

      No justification ever done. I can't help it if you aren't educated and wise enough to understand properly what I am saying. That is just the way I naturally write and the level of people I am used to associating with in the outside world. I guess the standards are much lower in this microverse.

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  23.   kissime says:
    Posted: 23 Oct 10

    friendly13, thank you for sharing a little piece of your life with me. I bet your children are the reason to get out of bed some days. My son have never met anyone I've dated- which @ time I think that may be too extreme of me. We were @ our neighbor's yard this summer , a friend of hers stopped by and I was introduced to him. My son was on the opposite side of us checking things out. All of the sudden he was holding on to my legs. So I introduced my son. The little guy said "Come on mommy, lets go" & grabbed my hand. The little guy just turned 5 :) We all knew what was happening. I was shock...cute stuff. They do know how to keep us entertained. Enthusiasm and pessimism are both contagious. friendly13, from now on I would really like it if you would join me in spreading enthusiasm. Life Is Beautiful

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  24.   friendly13 says:
    Posted: 22 Oct 10

    @ mandee34 Yes, I heard that the ratio of single black men to single black women in Atlanta is basically null and void. That would be very discouraging. I am not sure what the possibility for finding a white partner would be. My best friend and her family live out there. She told me her mom married a white gentleman out there years ago and they have been together for quite a while not.I went there last summer it is a great city.

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  25.   friendly13 says:
    Posted: 22 Oct 10

    @ Kissime You are so right about children being blessings. I have two sons who are autistic, imagine that. I get a lot of stairs and hear a lot of comments. But I am still glad they are mine I love them so much. I know that it would be a challenge for a man to want to be with me. But I know that there are men out there who are single parents that may also face similare challenges. I could certainly understand why a childless man would not. Completely understandable. That is not something that I can hold against my kids. I actually love it when they run off guys who try to hit on me that they feel are jerks. It is so funny. When they like someone and think he is good for me they let me know. My oldest son is actually trying to fix me up with a guy at a recreation facility we visit as a family from time to time. I think it is so sweet. But I am not interested in this guy and not quite sure if the guy is interested in me either. lol.

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    • serenity33 says:
      Posted: 23 Oct 10

      I agree with you totally friendly13 just like I said in the past about how children are a blessing. I have worked with autistic children and my cousin has adopted two of them. It is rough and it takes a lot of courage for you to deal with them and I admire that. I hope you find a man worthy of you and your two blessings.:-)

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  26.   kissime says:
    Posted: 22 Oct 10

    serenity33, being called a bad mother is the worst feeling of all. I've never been called one. But when I divorced my ex-husband It was bittersweet for me. But when my son would cry in his sleep and wait by the window @ a certain time of the day-waiting for daddy to come home- I felt like I deserved to be punctured in the heart. I knew in my heart that I was doing the right thing. But watching my 2 year old son @ the time dealing with his whole life changing drastically without explanation almost killed me with guilt and the fact that I couldn't give him what he wanted the most: his mother , father & him in the same home as it had been for his entire 2 years . serenity33, I understand you've witness a lot of pain working with abused children. But the people on this site are not the parents of those children. You need to not categorize the negative you've experienced with black women. I think a lot of time you need to do some serious thinking before typing. Regardless of the amount of time you've spent with abuse children, it does not give you the right to judge all parents. Reading your statements I can understand why people are just shutting you down instead of taking the time to reply. 1st; We are here to find love. 2: You make people feel you're attacking them. They should not waste their time & energy on you. I think deep inside you are extremely prejudice of black people. It may be you've had bad experiences with us. I may be wrong. But your energy is very negative most of the time. Sometime, even when we know better we can't help how we feel about certain things. You have a degree in psychology, so you understand how -despite of evidence, sometimes it is difficult to change our minds because of what we've been subjected to growing up or even hear without ever experiencing them. Sometime when we are hurt by our own family (in your case maybe within your own race) we @ time may be more forgiving than to people of a different race. Growing up in my home I never heard bad things of other races. But when I turned 12 my father had the talk of the birds & the bees with me (I was so embarrassed I almost died) My mother is very old fashion & does not speak of SEX. Teenage pregnancy was never a part of my family. So I never wanted to be the 1st. People have their children under whatever circumstances for whatever reason. DO NOT JUDGE! You do not have children and that is your choice. Some may find it weird or suspicious. Do you feel inadequate about not having children? People may think, wow, he doesn't have any children, he's going to be all alone in a nursing home & no one will visit him. Whose going to take care of him when he is old & everyone who cared have pass on? Having a child is the most challenging job for me. To give life to a human being. 3 days of intense contractions, 23 hours of labor, 8 pounds 6 ounces 22 inches tall. That's a lot of pain. But right after delivery I forgot all about the pain. Having a child is a miracle. It is a blessing. Caring for a child- wanting to save them from any pain. Wanting to save them from anything. Sleep is no longer #1. You have no idea, serenity33. You know nothing of their lives. I need you to understand this: If God asks me to choose between me & my child- My Son will win. I will burn in eternal flame for him. You need to be a little more empathetic. It seems you think it's okay to constantly win a battle you know nothing of. And when you're challenged or ignored-- you throw a tantrum. Try to analyze yourself. You know, somethings, you are just not an expert on-and I think it is best for you to make peace with that. Not to compare children with pets, (because I hate when people with pets who does not have children try to compare the two) you love your cats, would you like it if people speak badly of them? What if someone said you were a bad pet owner and you didn't deserve them? How would you feel? I had a friend who would not date anyone with cat allergies because she loves her cat so much and would never trade him for a romantic relationship. I am severely allergic to cats & some dogs. And to be honest I minimize going to one of my friends home because of this. How would you feel if someone completely tune you out because of your cats? You most likely would not care. But it might still hurt your feelings. serenity33, writing & verbal communication are the same. Sometimes it is better to be quite. Just because you have strong opinions about certain things does not make them right. I think you have turret of the fingers sometime. Just my opinion. You asked.

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    • serenity33 says:
      Posted: 22 Oct 10

      And if you want me to address the rest of your statements line by line to show you where you don't understand me, I can. The question is do you really want to know the truth about me or would you rather keep it simple and wrongly monsterize me when it is grossly incorrect? I have nothing but positive thoughts about you and I completed you many times on what a good mother you were and other people didn't like it and thumbed down my compliments. Maybe you didn't read those hidden comments but if you did, you would see what a good mother I called you many times and what a good person I called you many times. So how can you misunderstand me so grossly? I am different from any white man you will ever meet so kindly don't stereotype me or what I say as coming from a white man. Then maybe you will understand what I am saying better. Take care and peace be with you and please ask me before you make any negative assumptions about me. I would appreciate it because if you can't understand what I am saying, than I doubt anyone else on these blogs can and you are a good thermometer to tell if I am speaking clearly or not or if I am being understood correctly or not. Thank you kindly.

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    • serenity33 says:
      Posted: 23 Oct 10

      Kissme. Where did you get the idea that I was talking about Black parents when I was talking about the abused children’s home? I said many times what a great mother you were and I made no reference in that statement to black women being bad parents. I have met black people all over the world and many of them are my best friends and I have even stood up for the black man on this blog many times and got shot down. I honestly don’t know where you are getting this misconception from. Here is what I wrote. Excellent point Kissme. Children really are a blessing from God. The Bible even says that it would be better for you to have a millstone put around your neck and be cast into the sea than to harm one of these.(children) It also says “suffer not the children to come unto me.” And there are tons of verses in the Bible that say how precious children are and positive references to them. I wish everyone was like you and did treat them like a blessing rather than a curse or a mistake. I saw that a lot working at the abused children’s home. So many innocent kids cast aside because their parents saw them as mistakes rather than blessings. I wish everyone could appreciate children for what they really are. Notice I didn’t say anything about the color of the children. I was totally saying that children were a blessing and even quoting Bible verses to show how precious they were. Where do you get that I am talking about black mothers from this? People don’t seem to like me supporting other people with children. I wonder why that is when you say the same thing, that they are for it but when I am for it, they dislike it. Can you answer that question for me Kissme? Is it they don’t understand Biblical references or something or are only black women allowed to quote the Bible and not white men? Please enlighten me if you get a chance because I am really curious. Thanks.:-) This is silly. What am I saying that is so bad that people don’t want to hear it when all I am doing is saying how great a blessing children are? Could anyone please explain that to me, for an explanation would be greatly appreciated and I would be eternally grateful. Do we have a group of Satanists out there are something who don’t like what I am saying?;-) So my entire blog was just like yours praising the blessing of children and it is wrong for anyone to not see them as a blessing. I didn’t single out any racial group at all so why do you think it was black? I think people read too much or not enough into what I am saying and make assumptions. Is it really that big of a deal that I am a white male? I have studied years of marriage counseling so naturally I am going to be good in that area just like a mechanic or doctor. I went to Seminary and could be a preacher so it is natural that I could quote scripture well just like a person who studied theater and studied Shakespeare could quote him. Why is it when I simply state what I am good at, people read into it wrongly, even you? I don’t play games or put hidden digs. If I was really against and didn’t love black people I would say it out right. I am not coward that has to hide behind side digs and have people read into what I say. I can understand if what I say is too complex and long for most people to understand properly. I usually write in one paragraph rather than breaking it up into nice neat little pieces which I know is harder to read a long paragraph but I am used to reading entire complex pages at one time and not stopping for paragraphs and keeping the entire thought in my head so that is the way I write. I just can’t comprehend where you and other people get these ideas from me. If you are going to say something that you think I did wrong, please quote me directly and don’t make generalizations so I know what you are misunderstanding. Then I can break it down for you and show you what I really meant. Let me tell you a little story of one of my many black friends. When I worked at one of the mental hospitals, my best friend there was the only other black man working there. I did not get along with any of the white people and they hated me pretty much for being so friendly with black people. This gentleman’s name was Tony Perkins and he commuted up from Philadelphia to go to our job and we had a running bet about who thought we were mental patients and not staff.;-) We talked for many, many hours and he was like a brother to me. He was a big tall strong guy who knew martial arts. I would talk religion with him being that I was a Christian person. We had many hours of interesting friendly discussions. Then one night, I told him about how my denomination had an all black church down in Philadelphia and he looked at me and said, your denomination allow blacks in? I was furious and even though he could have easily kicked my ass, I reached up and grabbed him by the lapels and said do you honestly think I would ever be part of a Christian group that would discriminate against blacks?!!!! He looked at me kind of shocked because he realized that he really hurt my feelings. He then apologized and said my bad and that we were cool. I gave him a big hug and said don’t hurt me or insult me like that again. And that little incident only brought us closer as friends. And there are countless other stories I could tell you like that one if you still believe falsely that I am prejudice against blacks. Please try and understand what I am saying as an individual and not as a white guy. I have and always will get along better with non-whites than I will with whites and that has been the way it is ever since I was born so please don’t insult me ever by saying I am prejudiced against any race. Thank you kindly.

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    • serenity33 says:
      Posted: 24 Oct 10

      Let me break it down for you what is wrong with your statements about me and how I do feel for you and your pain. being called a bad mother is the worst feeling of all. I’ve never been called one. But when I divorced my ex-husband It was bittersweet for me. But when my son would cry in his sleep and wait by the window @ a certain time of the day-waiting for daddy to come home- I felt like I deserved to be punctured in the heart. I knew in my heart that I was doing the right thing. That is a horrible experience. When I worked at the rape shelter, I knew a lot of mothers that were leaving their husbands and taking their kids. They felt horrible for their children because the children didn’t understand why they had to leave daddy and where was he. I was the one to console those women who were often suicidal and heart broken that they were doing the right thing. I had to console their kids as well. And when I worked at the abused children’s home, you don’t know how many nights I stayed up with children trying to answer why their parents weren’t there and letting them know that their parents still loved them and it wasn’t their fault. At least you did the right thing and your son had your comfort as his loving mother. These kids didn’t have any parent to cry on and cried on me instead and it broke my heart. But I would never say anything bad about their parents and the kids were all different races but being that we were near Philadelphia with a high black population, most of these kids were black just by chance. I loved those kids like they were my own and I cried many a night with them because I was on the night shift. And they looked up to me as a parent and didn’t see me as a white man but a loving father and that is an experience I will always cherish because I was never fortunate to have any of my relationships work out to where I could have kids. So I love kids and really respect black women for being strong enough to raise them on their own which is one reason why I love black woman as a white man. But watching my 2 year old son @ the time dealing with his whole life changing drastically without explanation almost killed me with guilt and the fact that I couldn’t give him what he wanted the most: his mother , father & him in the same home as it had been for his entire 2 years . Well you did the right thing and it wasn’t your fault. I know that doesn’t make the guilt stop but at least you know deep down that you did what was right for your son and you are a terrific mother to him. It just shows how strong of a person you really are to do the right thing and suffer such an intense burden. I have dealt with single mother’s in marriage counseling that have dealt with the same thing and it is horrible and no one should have to go through it. So I feel for you. serenity33, I understand you’ve witness a lot of pain working with abused children. But the people on this site are not the parents of those children. You need to not categorize the negative you’ve experienced with black women. I think a lot of time you need to do some serious thinking before typing. Regardless of the amount of time you’ve spent with abuse children, it does not give you the right to judge all parents. I never once made a reference to anyone on this site when it came to abused children. I don’t know what blog you were reading but I am not judging a single parent on this entire website. I always have been for mothers on this site who have single children. It takes a lot of strength and courage to raise a child by yourself. I have seen it at marriage counseling often. So I am totally for anyone who is strong enough to do that and raise a child by themselves. Reading your statements I can understand why people are just shutting you down instead of taking the time to reply. 1st; We are here to find love. 2: You make people feel you’re attacking them. They should not waste their time & energy on you. I am not attacking anyone and I have absolutely no idea where you get that idea from. You would have to quote me verse per verse of what I said to show me where I am attacking anyone because I can’t see it. I don’t care if they don’t waste their time or energy on me but they seem to have enough time to thumb down what I am saying without giving me any reason why they are doing so. And I am here first to help others with my knowledge, learn from others, and if I am fortunate, find love but that isn’t my primary goal. My main goal is to use my knowledge to help others and I have been appreciated on other blogs for saying the things I said. If they don’t agree with me, then by all means, they should say something rather than cowardly putting down what I say with a thumbs down because I respect honesty and I would like to be corrected word for word when I say something wrong but please quote me because I get the distinct feeling that people aren’t understanding what I am saying. If they ask me about a specific thing I said, then maybe I can clarify it and show them that I actually do agree with them and not have a misunderstanding which is obviously going on here. I think deep inside you are extremely prejudice of black people. It may be you’ve had bad experiences with us. I may be wrong. But your energy is very negative most of the time. Sometime, even when we know better we can’t help how we feel about certain things. You have a degree in psychology, so you understand how -despite of evidence, sometimes it is difficult to change our minds because of what we’ve been subjected to growing up or even hear without ever experiencing them. Sometime when we are hurt by our own family (in your case maybe within your own race) we @ time may be more forgiving than to people of a different race. I have no bad experiences with black people and the worst experiences I have had are with white people so you are wrong on that. You obviously don’t understand me. And I don’t know where you get the negativity from that you think I have because I try and be supportive and I get thumbed down no matter what nice things I say in support so that is false as well. My family is very positive towards black people and have introduced me to blacks even when I lived in an all white area, when I was growing up. So my parents are totally unbiased towards black and are very loving people towards everyone. Growing up in my home I never heard bad things of other races. But when I turned 12 my father had the talk of the birds & the bees with me (I was so embarrassed I almost died) My mother is very old fashion & does not speak of SEX. Teenage pregnancy was never a part of my family. So I never wanted to be the 1st. I learned early about sex from my older brother because he was for many years of his life a womanizer and slept with many women until he got married finally. It skipped over me and then happened to my little brother who was a serious womanizer for many years and slept with hundreds of women until he got married. So I learned about sex early on and the more intricate aspects about sex from my fiancee who I was engaged to for five years starting in undergraduate who was a sexual perfectionist. I had to learn a lot about it extensively even more when I studied to be a marriage counselor so I could help people out with their sex problems. So I never slept around with lots of women, always wanted to marry all of the six women I was involved with but got cheated on and dumped by all of them and none of them were black so I have no reason to be against black women. People have their children under whatever circumstances for whatever reason. DO NOT JUDGE! You do not have children and that is your choice. Some may find it weird or suspicious. Do you feel inadequate about not having children? People may think, wow, he doesn’t have any children, he’s going to be all alone in a nursing home & no one will visit him. Whose going to take care of him when he is old & everyone who cared have pass on? No that wasn’t my choice. I always wanted children but I wanted a wedding ring first before children and no one was willing to marry me so I never was fortunate to have children and I don’t judge anyone who does have children without a ring. But I am very close to my younger brother who wants me to mentor his one year old daughter her entire life because he knows what a good father I would make so the two of them will probably take care of me when I am old. But I leave that up to the Lord. I have come very close to dying many times so I may die before then from all my health problems and I have no fear of that whatsoever. So what happens when I am older is in the Lord’s hands and that is where I will leave it and do my best to help people while there is still breath in my body. And if no one mourns my death, it is enough that the Lord cares about me and I will be with Him when I die so I am not egotistical about having a legacy to pass on. I think it is great for kids to take care of their parents when they get old but I am not against them or jealous of them for having kids to take care of them. So I would never put anyone down who has kids. Having a child is the most challenging job for me. To give life to a human being. 3 days of intense contractions, 23 hours of labor, 8 pounds 6 ounces 22 inches tall. That’s a lot of pain. But right after delivery I forgot all about the pain. Having a child is a miracle. It is a blessing. I know all about that as many of my best friends were mothers throughout life and they all shared with me their birthing experiences and they were truly blessed. That’s why I quoted Bible verses showing how precious children were and how special they are in the eyes of God. Maybe you didn’t understand the Bible verses I was quoting because if you did, you would know that they all supported what a blessing children really are and that there was no attack against children but only extolling of what a blessing they are especially in the eyes of God. Caring for a child- wanting to save them from any pain. Wanting to save them from anything. Sleep is no longer #1. You have no idea, serenity33. Yes I do. Parents have told me about that often in their counseling sessions as they worry about their kids and I have taken care of my niece for days and know how little sleep you get and I worry about her growing up and the type of guys that are out there. That’s why I am all for her taking self-defense lessons when she is old enough and I will do my best to keep her as protected and innocent from harm and the outside world as long as I possibly can. You know nothing of their lives. I need you to understand this: If God asks me to choose between me & my child- My Son will win. I will burn in eternal flame for him. I would gladly die for my niece because like I said, death holds no fear for me and if it keeps her alive and well, i would gladly sacrifice my life a thousand times over. You need to be a little more empathetic. It seems you think it’s okay to constantly win a battle you know nothing of. And when you’re challenged or ignored– you throw a tantrum. Try to analyze yourself. You know, somethings, you are just not an expert on-and I think it is best for you to make peace with that. I know much about the topic we are discussing here and I am not throwing a tantrum. I am just curious why people ignore what I say when I say the exact same thing that other people say and they give them the thumbs up and me the thumbs down. I still don’t understand the phenomena but after talk to my black female friend that I am close to in Great Britain, Tunde, she told me that many people are probably intimidated by my intellect and my hyper honesty and would rather have things remain unsaid like how horny most of the white guy are on here and unaltruistic they are in their behavior towards women on this site. She also said people will monsterize me if they don’t understand what I am saying and assume the worst. I have long analyzed myself and you are totally wrong with your conclusion. Like I said, if you have a problem with anything I said, instead of making generalizations, quote exactly what I said that you have a problem with and what you think it means and I will clarify it for you because I tend to overcomplicate things when I say them and be long winded of which I am aware of. So anything you quote that I say that you think is wrong, I would be more than happy to explain once you tell me what you think I am saying. If you take the time to do that and not make generalizations, I would be greatly appreciative. Not to compare children with pets, (because I hate when people with pets who does not havechildren try to compare the two) you love your cats, would you like it if people speak badly of them? What if someone said you were a bad pet owner and you didn’t deserve them? How would you feel? People have insulted my love of my pets and how I would die for them to live happy lives to be loved. But just like children, unless you are as close to them as I am and would give your life for them, you wouldn’t understand what I mean. I had a friend who would not date anyone with cat allergies because she loves her cat so much and would never trade him for a romantic relationship. I am severely allergic to cats & some dogs. And to be honest I minimize going to one of my friends home because of this. How would you feel if someone completely tune you out because of your cats? You most likely would not care. But it might still hurt your feelings. No. It has happened many times and I am allergic to cats as well but I don’t let that stop me from loving them so deeply as I do. Their innocence and purity helps give me strength in life and they have treated me better than any woman ever has so naturally my loyalty is going to be with them. They sleep under the covers of my bed every night and treat me like I am their mother. One could not get a better compliment from a cat than that. And people that don’t like me because of cats don’t bother me because I figure that it is another of God’s weeding out processes because I want my mate to be compatible with me on all deeper things including the things I love like cats and God. So I never take it personally. Of course it is gross in the morning when I wake up because every morning I go through three hours of hacking up mucus because of my allergy and spitting into many tissues as it has gone deep into my lungs. But they are worth it to me, such is my love for them. I am sure you would do the same for your child if you were allergic to him despite having to hack up mucus for three hours every morning after waking up. serenity33, writing & verbal communication are the same. Sometimes it is better to be quite. Writing and verbal communication aren’t the same and I don’t think being quiet would help in this case. You can tell a lot more about a person through verbal communication because of all the tone differences and voice inflections and mood indicators which you can’t tell by writing. That’s also why I am misinterpreted a lot and even my Black British friend Tunde says that which is why she would rather communicate on Skype with me and hear the tone of my voice and have misconceptions quickly cleared up. I talk also every day to a black 27 year old female in CA every day who used to be on the site but quickly got off it because she got tired of all the sexual comments made by white guys to her online. She is a joy and inspiration to me and has had a very hard life but we get along great and really love talking to each other every day. She is going to see me in January and we will have a great clean, non-sexual time together like I promised her. She really is something special and would have had a doctorate by now if she didn’t have such a bad past because she is so incredibly smart and talented. So Jamie is a black woman I treasure greatly and is the only person I talk to on the phone besides my parents, she is that special to me as a friend. So no, I am not prejudiced against black women. Just because you have strong opinions about certain things does not make them right. I think you have turret of the fingers sometime. Just my opinion. You asked. I did ask and you didn’t give me any concrete examples of what I said to back up your point which is what I was looking for. So please again, give me concrete quotes of what I said that was so bad and offensive and tell me how you think they are bad and I will tell you what I really meant. I do not understand what you mean by turret of fingers either which is a phrase I am not familiar with which would be nice to have explained. Like I said, I have nothing but unconditional positive regard for black women and black people in general so I would like my offenses pointed out specifically rather than have them generalized. Take care kissme and I eagerly look for concrete quotes that you find offensive coming from me so I can know what you are talking about because of right now, I am totally baffled and just looking for answers. Thank you kindly for your consideration.

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  27.   serenity33 says:
    Posted: 21 Oct 10

    Excellent point Kissme. Children really are a blessing from God. The Bible even says that it would be better for you to have a millstone put around your neck and be cast into the sea than to harm one of these.(children) It also says “suffer not the children to come unto me.” And there are tons of verses in the Bible that say how precious children are and positive references to them. I wish everyone was like you and did treat them like a blessing rather than a curse or a mistake. I saw that a lot working at the abused children’s home. So many innocent kids cast aside because their parents saw them as mistakes rather than blessings. I wish everyone could appreciate children for what they really are. People don't seem to like me supporting other people with children. I wonder why that is when you say the same thing, that they are for it but when I am for it, they dislike it. Can you answer that question for me Kissme? Is it they don't understand Biblical references or something or are only black women allowed to quote the Bible and not white men? Please enlighten me if you get a chance because I am really curious. Thanks.:-)

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  28.   serenity33 says:
    Posted: 20 Oct 10

    Excellent point Kissme. Children really are a blessing from God. The Bible even says that it would be better for you to have a millstone put around your neck and be cast into the sea than to harm one of these.(children) It also says "suffer not the children to come unto me." And there are tons of verses in the Bible that say how precious children are and positive references to them. I wish everyone was like you and did treat them like a blessing rather than a curse or a mistake. I saw that a lot working at the abused children's home. So many innocent kids cast aside because their parents saw them as mistakes rather than blessings. I wish everyone could appreciate children for what they really are.

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  29.   kissime says:
    Posted: 20 Oct 10

    ~Children Are Gifts From God~ Genesis 1:28 God blessed them and said to them, "Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air and over every living creature that moves on the ground." Genesis 48:4 and said to me, 'I am going to make you fruitful and will increase your numbers. I will make you a community of peoples, and I will give this land as an everlasting possession to your descendants after you.' ~~~ If one does not want to be romantically involved with someone with children--this is your choice...MOVE ON! No need for cruel words about people's children. Mothers & Fathers should never justify the reason of their children's existence.

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    • serenity33 says:
      Posted: 23 Oct 10

      Are you sure you aren't confusing me with Anthony, Kissme? Because he has said some unpopular things and I was just supporting his right as a black man to express his opinion. It doesn't mean I agree with him. I just think he should be able to say his views and if you don't like them, you can criticize him for it. But don't lump me in with him just because I support his right to free speech. That is stereotyping and is wrong. I am for free speech even for people that I don't agree with. But the thumbs down and thumbs up thing is actually very undemocratic to free speech because it tries to censor what people can say. I think that system was put in so it would lessen the work of the moderators, personally and it is a very new addition to this website. It is not one I agree with because it causes people to become too lazy and not actually have to post opposing views but instead they can just bury anything they don't like without having to back up with logical rationale why they don't like something. Again, that is the cowards way out. Be a person of strength and intelligence and take a part piece by piece what you don't like that someone says and use logic, education and personal experience. But don't cowardly hide behind the thumbs up and thumbs down method. Only weak minded shallow individuals resort to such base forms of free speech moderation.

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    • serenity33 says:
      Posted: 25 Oct 10

      Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you. Philippians 4:8-9. Unless you are Jewish, it is always better to quote the New Testament when quoting the Bible because the New Testament because of progressive revelation causes the New Testament to supersede the Old Testament. If you don't understand it, look it up or do it the hard way and graduate with your Master's from Seminary like I did.;-)

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  30.   mandee34 says:
    Posted: 19 Oct 10

    I think the bottom lineis when you get older, you are more settled and usually serious. You tend to look for healthy relationships and in the pursuit of settling down, hence marriage. I think the problem currently within the black communities is the lack of good eligible black men. I'm not saying that their not any. I currently live in Atlanta and you would think it would be many. I came across some but the problem is the ratio of men to women here in Atlanta. Since there more black women then black men in atlanta it's extremely hard to find a quality mate. The good catches are players I have one daughter and was married for 7 years. I have One kid in my 30's, work full time, do photography, and a full time student. I'm very independent but alot of these guys i meet have freakin' 3,4 kids, never married, and multiple baby moms. Uggh! thats a turn off. I really don't understand why anthony 2012 is on here with the insults about black women to me that is a form of self hatred because obviously your mother and aunts are black. Do you hate them as well? Alot of black women are on here dating outside of their race because they are mature, looking for serious relationships, and no games. If you come to Atlanta you would see so many beautiful black women, single, educated, with careers. This is a big world and if you as an individual want to date whomever that is your business. I have female and male family members who've dated and married outside of their race. It's your personal business.

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    • serenity33 says:
      Posted: 20 Oct 10

      Well there are people with a lot of kids both males and females. I just mention that to be fair and I think it turns off both many men and women if there are a lot of kids. Again, I am not taking sides but just pointing out that it happens to both sexes. And anthony is just expressing his views. Maybe you could encourage him to be more constructive in the way he expresses his views the way that Kissme did to me that changed my mind about women. I have a new found respect of Black women because of her and nothing but appreciation for her kindness. And I believe anyone can date outside of their race whenever they want and shouldn't be criticized for it. And I never had any doubt about the ability of Black women to be highly educated and have careers etc. I think it is this strength that is what makes them attractive to white men in the first place barring those who have fetishes. So there are plenty of reasons why White men would love the Black woman. I think we should just be more kind on these blogs when correcting someone who is being offensive and you just might get them to change their view and even make a nice friend.:-)

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      • serenity33 says:
        Posted: 21 Oct 10

        Well there are people with a lot of kids both males and females. I just mention that to be fair and I think it turns off both many men and women if there are a lot of kids. Again, I am not taking sides but just pointing out that it happens to both sexes. And anthony is just expressing his views. Maybe you could encourage him to be more constructive in the way he expresses his views the way that Kissme did to me that changed my mind about women. I have a new found respect of Black women because of her and nothing but appreciation for her kindness. And I believe anyone can date outside of their race whenever they want and shouldn’t be criticized for it. And I never had any doubt about the ability of Black women to be highly educated and have careers etc. I think it is this strength that is what makes them attractive to white men in the first place barring those who have fetishes. So there are plenty of reasons why White men would love the Black woman. I think we should just be more kind on these blogs when correcting someone who is being offensive and you just might get them to change their view and even make a nice friend.:-) I get the distinct feeling that black men are not welcome on this blog and that pretty much any comment made about a black man or by a black man is not wanted because mostly white men are on this blog.;-) I just wish everyone could be nice to everyone and let them say their piece. And I think the white men on here are very competitive as are the black women so anything that is said by me that is complimentary towards black men, complimentary towards a specific black woman like Kissme, or construed as negative about Black women which has all been a misunderstanding, is going to be very unpopular and hidden. Poor Kissme can’t even say anything nice about me in reconciliation of past differences without getting shut down. Why can’t everyone just get along and forgive and forget and not hold grudges? At this rate, I am beginning to think that the real reason that white men love the black woman is that they both don’t forgive and forget, don’t try to reconcile differences with people they have had in the past like me, and hang onto grudges very tightly.;-) How is that for a reason why white men love black women?;-D I find the entire thing sad and amusing at the same time. Isn’t anyone on here besides Kissme into trying to forgive and say positive things to encourage people that have offended them in the past? You know the old saying, “you catch more flies with honey than you do vinegar!!” And other quote is “to err is human and to forgive, divine.” So can’t anyone but her forgive me for conceived transgressions on my part in the past? I am capable of change for the better.:-) How about anyone else?:-) Again, people don't seem to like me when I am being nice and agreeable. Could you explain this phenomena to me Kissme? Are people that cold and unforgiving or is it just jealousy? I guess it is easy just to give me bad ratings than it is to try and take the mental effort to counter what I am saying logically. That is my conclusion unless you have a different take on it Kissme because I would really like to know. Thanks.:-)

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  31.   friendly13 says:
    Posted: 19 Oct 10

    I think in my last post I have shown that I am open minded. However, if someone makes offending remarks people won't appreciate it. I know I don't. My main point for being on here is to hear why white men love the black women.

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    • serenity33 says:
      Posted: 21 Oct 10

      I haven’t said anything offending for a long time and I just try to present different perspectives to get people to think. But I have no problem with anyone on here and if everyone was as good a mother as Kissme is to her son, children would grow up secure and happy and well-adjusted which is the way it should be.:-) And why do they give me bad ratings on this, Kissme? Are they jealous that I think you are a great mother or something? I honestly don't understand people on this blog because no one gives me any counters to what I am saying and they hide behind bad ratings. If I have a problem with anyone, I state it honestly right out and don't hide behind bad ratings. Why can't more people be that honest about things? I am open to criticism which is why I changed my views because Kissme set me straight in a kind and gentle manner with logic so I am willing to change my views rather than hiding behind giving low ratings to people I disagree with. Is everyone stuck behind being afraid or unable to present a counter truth since it takes more effort than clicking a plus or minus?

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    • serenity33 says:
      Posted: 23 Oct 10

      I haven’t said anything offending for a long time and I just try to present different perspectives to get people to think. But I have no problem with anyone on here and if everyone was as good a mother as Kissme is to her son, children would grow up secure and happy and well-adjusted which is the way it should be.:-)

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  32.   kissime says:
    Posted: 19 Oct 10

    Thank you, serenity33. But I highly doubt I have too many male admirers. And I know you have no hidden agendas. I think some may be holding grudges for somethings you may have written. I'm sure you've offended many. Come on guys, forgive him. I know he's only written his truth. Forgive him. I'm so sure he was not trying to insult anyone...maybe ;) MUAH! serenity33

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    • serenity33 says:
      Posted: 19 Oct 10

      No. I wasn't trying to insult anyone in particular or at all. I was just stating the truth as I see it and I think you are right, some people are just holding grudges. Thanks for your kindness as always for it and you are always appreciate by me.:-) And don't sell yourself short. I think you have a lot of male admirers but you just may scare them off because they don't like women wiser than they are.;-) I am sure that statement will go over well. NOT.;-) But I just try and call it honestly how I see it. Like you said, being honest and telling the truth will set you free.:-) Game playing is just too hard for an old hoss like me.;-) I am too tired to play games and it is just easier to tell the truth as I see it no matter how unpopular it is. Nice to hear from you again Kissme.:-)

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    • serenity33 says:
      Posted: 23 Oct 10

      No. I wasn’t trying to insult anyone in particular or at all. I was just stating the truth as I see it and I think you are right, some people are just holding grudges. Thanks for your kindness as always for it and you are always appreciate by me.:-) And don’t sell yourself short. I think you have a lot of male admirers but you just may scare them off because they don’t like women wiser than they are.;-) I am sure that statement will go over well. NOT.;-) But I just try and call it honestly how I see it. Like you said, being honest and telling the truth will set you free.:-) Game playing is just too hard for an old hoss like me.;-) I am too tired to play games and it is just easier to tell the truth as I see it no matter how unpopular it is. Nice to hear from you again Kissme.:-)

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  33.   serenity33 says:
    Posted: 18 Oct 10

    Thanks for the compliments but after six failed relationships, I am kind of not the optimistic type.;-) But if I can help anyone else, then I will be at least doing something good. And you are years younger than me so my bet is on you.:-) Take care of yourself and nice to hear from you.:-) And check my hidden replies because I get the feeling people don't want you and I to be friends with each other or else they wouldn't rate what I say which is totally nice towards you, so negatively. I honestly don't understand the people on here, kissme.;-) Maybe you have too many male admirers that think I am hitting on you or something. Beats the hell out of me. I am just giving you the honor and respect you deserve and keeping it real, no hidden agendas.

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  34.   shaelove says:
    Posted: 18 Oct 10

    I agree, The only people who stereotype are narrow-minded individuals and in these days we need to love all cause too much drama in the world....

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  35.   kissime says:
    Posted: 18 Oct 10

    I understand being afraid of rejection may be the reason someone of another race may not approach me when out & about. But this is an interracial dating site. When men view my profile and do not flirt or message me- I know for whatever the reason they are not interested. I do not take it personally. It may be anything. It could be me or them. When a man want you he will do what needs to be done to be with you. (Period) I Know my worth. I like feeling & being nice. I do what makes me feel good inside. I've always liked pretty things (according to my taste) I'm into healthy living. I'm compassionate & funny & goofy. I'm generous and I love LOVE. I do not look for the worst in people. I'm kind of naive. I have a tendency to think everyone is kind when I first meet them. I can also be moody, but I will not be rude. I just need my space sometime. And fyi; do not mess with my emotions. I'm not bitchy, but I will show you where the door is if you're just not right. I will not compromise myself to gain the interest of men. I am who I am and the man who loves me will love me. And I will love him for who he is. I don't want to be with a man who is totally different from courtship. But, once we're in a relationship I will do what is necessary to improve our relationship (as long as it is respectful, not harmful, and we both put 100% in it) Boys & girls play games. They are not ready for substantial relationship. This is a candy store for them. And there's nothing wrong with playing as long as we are both aware of the game. If you are not ready for a serious relationship let people know. It is so much more fun when the game is clear & fair. No one gets hurt. I know I'm the best that will ever happen to the best man for me. When I find a man with integrity I will admire him.

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    • serenity33 says:
      Posted: 23 Oct 10

      Couldn’t agree with you more, kissme. I wish everyone was as honest about their motivations as you are. Beats me why they wouldn’t be interested but it is their lose but maybe it is a weeding out process that keeps you safe from those kid in a candy store people. At least they don’t waste your time because your time is precious.:-)

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  36.   serenity33 says:
    Posted: 18 Oct 10

    Thanks for the compliments but after six failed relationships, I am kind of not the optimistic type.;-) But if I can help anyone else, then I will be at least doing something good. And you are years younger than me so my bet is on you.:-) Take care of yourself and nice to hear from you.:-)

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  37.   friendly13 says:
    Posted: 17 Oct 10

    Serinity33 I agree with what you had to say about plus sized blackwomen...they can be beautiful too. Most of all we women must realize that it is the beauty inside that counts the most. Peace.

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  38.   widow66 says:
    Posted: 16 Oct 10

    i love this artical and all you ladies out there thats black i say go for it like i said before i was married to a white guy for 18 short years and he was my world .i am from ala and he was from missouri alot of the white guys here they want to date a black woman but is scared of what their friends will say except for the younger generation i allways smile when i see a black girl with a white guy because nomatter what the song say the south never going to do it again lol LOVE is color blind and some do fall inlove and stay my husband and i was married in july 1986 and it was kinda different back then but we made it because we loved each other and wanted to be together .love is hard to find in any relationship black are white so if you click with a white guy and want to be together do it life is short 'to the white guys out there god made one woman from that one woman the black woman came forth to and you are right we are very beautiful and curvey and have feelings just like the white .woman.love is so strong it will build a bridge between hearts. let it

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    • Twilight101 says:
      Posted: 17 Oct 10

      @widow66 Please tell what you mean by "love is color blind".

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      • cinnamon0310 says:
        Posted: 17 Oct 10

        Twilight..."Love is color blind" to me means. You see, beyond, color..that doesn't matter. Its the soulful/mindful, person, whom comes into your life and makes you feel, like you are on CLOUD 9, and they are into your body, mind and soul....my thoughts

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  39.   cinnamon0310 says:
    Posted: 16 Oct 10

    I've dated white guys, every since, I was 15 and I've always loved white men. I'm divorced/47 now, but I have more in common as far as outside activities, such as love rodeos, motorcycling riding, fishing, and lots more. I find that white men, are more passionate, compassionate, and one thing for sure, all about pleasing you, before themselves, in all areas.....that says, alot. I feel more one on one, especially the men, I've dated...more honesty, caring, more open, as far as talking/listening, and so into you, as a black woman. I have nothing against black men, yes, I would date a black man...but with these qualities above and more, but until...just love, the intense/butterfly, deep feelings, of a white man..smiles I'm hoping and I know, I will find a nice gentleman, here... Good luck, to everyone on meeting your soul mate...

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  40.   friendly13 says:
    Posted: 15 Oct 10

    @ brighteyes42 Whitemen are like other men...they have different tastes...just like black women do...are you attracted to every white man you see? Ever seen a white man you didn't find attractive because of his physical attributes? First of all, regardless of what your weight is you have to feel good about yourself. Then you have to show it in the way you dress and carry yourself. I have seen some big sisters who could work it girl. Look at Monique...I am sure she is at least 200 pounds. Some women are sexy no matter what the size. I think Oprah is sexy even though she is always putting herself down about her weight gain. I actually think she is prettier heavy than when she was thin. Now don't take me wrong but that is what girdles and push up bras are for girlfriend. Want you a white man...look good for him girlly...they can't help but look and like what looks scrumptuous...go somewhere shopping and let someone dress you my friend....if you understand what I mean. Find a style that accentuates...and don't pay attention to people who try to make you feel bad about yourself. Getting the eyebrows arched and a sweet hair doo that makes you look and feel good helps too. Don't be afraid to get some weave...a weave is preferable to a wig...but wigs are more affordable. A white man likes the same things other men like....believe me. They have flaws too....they are just looking for some love just like us. Peace.

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    • serenity33 says:
      Posted: 15 Oct 10

      I actually agree with that a lot. Black women should not be sensitive about their weight and it is all in the confidence that you carry yourself with. Those are great examples given and there are white men who like overweight black women because many of them emanate confidence and a strong independent spirit and a strong maternal instinct that very many men are looking for in a woman. There is a sense of security if you hold an overweight person in your arms and bury yourself in them and soak up their protectiveness and security and it is like it melts away all your troubles and you are at peace and you feel like no matter how bad things are, everything is going to be all right.:-) So black women or women in general shouldn't feel bad about their weight and just concentrate on the good qualities that they have strongly inside and let them emanate and flow from your psyche and personality and you will attract a man in no time.:-)

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  41.   friendly13 says:
    Posted: 11 Oct 10

    @ Kissime Hey lady, I had to get a closer look at the hair. I enjoyed the poem...I wish I was better with words. @ Dannyco56 How is everything. Been busy with work, school, and my four kids. How is everything with you...I hope you are still with us. @ Bigeyes Hey girl. @ Sarah and Scoff My inspiration

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    • Twilight101 says:
      Posted: 17 Oct 10

      @ Friendly13 I think its nice of you to encourage "Brighteyes42". I'm sorry for not choosing softer words in my response to her. My concern is that we as black women, in general, do not take care of ourselves. I see sisters all weaved out, with the toes and fingers done...false eye lashes and the lastest fashions and most of the time they are obese. Like many black women, I have a family history of high BP, high chloestrol, diabetes, and heart disease. Thank God, I don't have to take medication because I exercise and eat healthy ( most times). We don't need girdles and insulin, we need to exercise and eat properly. I believe in my heart, that if I continue to take care of myself, at 60 and 70 yo, I will be wearing a size 8-10 jeans, and be as active as I am today. Sisters, please walk, swim, run, weight lift...Do it for yourself and the people you love.

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  42.   friendly13 says:
    Posted: 11 Oct 10

    @ curiosteve I like how you pointed out that you didn't just set out to have an interracial relationship but that you met a woman who happened to be black that you developed feelings for naturally. That is the key. Funny thing is this is the only way it really happens anyway. Everything else is superficial and risky. I agree with you about interracial dating getting a lot of opposition. Dating members from ones own race is more practicle. That is why love is the only way interracial dating will ever really work. It is rare but beautiful because we overcome racism through it. I am glad you found happiness in diversity.

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  43.   friendly13 says:
    Posted: 11 Oct 10

    @ Pyree Hey, I just wanted to comment that I am think black men are very beautiful, pardon my experssion. My dad is a blackman and so are my uncles, brother, and two sons. I don't date white men because I think black men are bad. I just decided that I should open my horizons. I do think that the pressures of society make it difficult for black men and women to get along. I think we both need to experience different cultures and enjoy the diversity of interracial dating. So don't think that all black women who date interracially just down black men because I don't. But I do enjoy dating white men. I like their perspectives and they help me to relax a bit. Well, I hope that I didn't say anything offensive because that is not my intent.

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  44.   kissime says:
    Posted: 09 Oct 10

    Pyree, thank you for stressing the facts of your experiences-your environment--in YOUR world. Congratulations in finding your Louisiana Lily. Your comments are contradicting. At the end of your ''my dear world'' statement I wasn't sure if I should feel complimented or offended. The latter was concluded. A little advise; please learn to sleep on your decisions before announcing them . Sometimes the mind of an individual with ADHD may cause severe diarrhea of the mouth Not saying @ all you have ADHD.

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  45.   Pyree says:
    Posted: 09 Oct 10

    I have dated women of all colors and all individuals are different but as a brother I can say that many black women I dated in the pass were impulsive, quick tempered, and lacked the proper level of humility and cohessiveness to be with me or anyone else in a long term relationship. I was raised in a simple community of women , mostly black who honored other women's relationships. So my dad messing around was never an issue and he taught me all I needed to know about life and women I might add. Often what I see in many areas of the black community is a failure of black people to create a solid union before they begin sleeping. This can and will most the time create illegitimate kids. The kids that are born to couples who have only known one another for a short period of time are only by products of carnalistic flesh driven relationships that are very frequent in the black community. Both sides have a large amount of blame to accept even though they have made it a hobby to go around bashing one another like fools for the world to see. What the system mistakenly done was try to compensate for this by issuing government assistance to women who made bad choices along with their mate and a surrogate government dad was created. It is this dad that is the invisible man in no less than 33 to 50 % of black homes. And I must say this has been a total and complete disaster as it has led many black women to not consider the consequences of not building substinent relationships. Through many years of heartbreak and disappointment I can say I was let down and dealt with a lot of sisters who where completely dysfuctional and not once did I run to another group of people putting down my own. Why would I do that when I came from the union of a black man and woman? I didn't just spring up from mother earth. So I was thrilled in 2008 when all my years of waiting paid off as I was given by God himself a lovely Lousiana Lily. A Black and beautiful woman with a pleasent attitude and all any bro can ask for. Our relationship is not based on how much money either of us make or one of us supposedly being on some supposed artifilcial "level". It's just pure understanding, love, commitment, and most important cohessiveness. May the Light Of God Shine down on all Ebony couples forever.

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    • Twilight101 says:
      Posted: 09 Oct 10

      @Pyree Wow! Well written, brother! I'm so sad to say that's true. "Surrogate government dad"...what happened to us (black people). .. I have one question...if you are so happy with your Beautiful Black Louisiana Lily, why are you on this site? :(

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    • serenity33 says:
      Posted: 11 Oct 10

      Well spoken Pyree!! You hit the nail right on the head and were quite eloquent about it. I 1000 percent agree with you totally and am glad a brother finally said everything that needed to be said. Amen!!

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      • serenity33 says:
        Posted: 12 Oct 10

        Well spoken Pyree!! You hit the nail right on the head and were quite eloquent about it. I 1000 percent agree with you totally and am glad a brother finally said everything that needed to be said. Amen!! You probably won't see this comment because people on this blog hate to see anything positive said about a Black man by a White man so I hope you read this before it is hidden because I am totally for what you said my friend:-)

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      • serenity33 says:
        Posted: 15 Oct 10

        Good going Pyree. I am all for you and I hope everything works out well for you.:-)

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    • serenity33 says:
      Posted: 12 Oct 10

      Don't worry Pyree. Prejudice is still alive and well except on this blog it is reverse discrimination. I am glad everyone likes what you said but since I am white and a male, they will all use it as a chance to put me down if I said the same thing which I have in not so many words in the past. I am glad that your truths get heard even if mine don't when they are identical to yours. Keep preaching the truth brother because people on this blog listen to you when things I say fall on deaf ears because of prejudice and misconception. I am the terrible whitey that needs to be attacked and so it is done.;-) Keep preaching the truth brother, because I would like to hear more of what you have to say. Thanks very much for being so cool.:-)

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  46.   kissime says:
    Posted: 08 Oct 10

    I am so sure it has nothing to do with white men love the black woman, black woman love the black men, or any other race loves a different race. I know we are not arrogant / ignorant or so delusional to such belief. When one reply to these posts-please remember the writer's motive is to create controversy. The arousal is necessary in order to maintained employment. The hateful replies to this post has definitely proven a particular unworthiness to self. Your degrading comments proves weaknesses and inferiority complexes. To feel & express such hatred towards any race or gender is utterly revolting. To describe you as moths to flame would be too naive, too innocent. You have succumb to brainwashing. So sad because this is Pre-Psychology . I am so disappointed. *Attraction is powerful. *Curiosity can be exciting. *Fetish may cause significant psychosocial distress and may have detrimental effects on important areas of your life. *Love is simply love* Your hatred manifest in your writing. The reasons are not & will never be justifiable. *To Love is Not to Destroy* Most of the comments resemble the response of an ignorant (perhaps grade school even-with lack of value) lover in dire need of proving his love to his lover by insulting another. It's okay to be attracted to someone different . It's okay to be attracted to someone who looks just like you. One should not be sub-humanize when it come to affair of the heart. Environment may influence attraction or lack of. Please think before voicing or permanently posting your opinions. An opinion is neither wrong nor right. I'm sure MC hammer pants were fashionable once (I had a few pairs) But now when I watch videos of the early 90's I'm in disbelief of how ridiculous they were. But we can not compare fashion faux pas to some of the comments posted. As written by another on this blog: " too much of bits of information without true knowledge can be a dangerous thing. (please forgive me for not quoting it correctly) Try debugging your computer by pressing Control-Alt-Delete...let me know how well that worked out for ya. Trying to Make a Fool of Me= make a Fool of Yourself -Seek to understand & you will be understood. Stop robbing yourselves. Stop feeding the hype

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  47.   curiousteve says:
    Posted: 07 Oct 10

    I've been monitoring this site for a while and finally decided to post. I find it interesting that many people talk of "black women" or "white men" as if they are representative of their gender/race. There are winners and losers of every gender or race. Myself, as a non-representative white male, personally I don't claim to love any particular race of women solely for their external attributes. I've never been particularly attracted to black women, and I never really thought about dating one...not for any specific reason, just never paid much attention to black women (outside of the media/sports/fashion complex). Who in their right mind would actually WANT an interracial relationship? Let's face it people, as progressive as we like to think American society has become, a mixed couple still gets the negative looks and comments. Black men dog the white guys...white women throw the visual darts at black women...and older people of all races still cannot seem to accept a mixed couple. That said, I met a black woman a couple months ago and started dating her. Things went well and now we are a couple. But you know what, I didn't plan on this, and I even resisted to some extent...I'm well aware of the challenges an IR presents. However, I cannot control "chemistry" and something has clicked...I like the woman, perhaps even love. I can understand white guys being turned on by this or that feature or the contrast during sex, but to me that sort of thing borders on a fetish and I don't think that type of attraction is a viable basis for a lasting relationship. At the end of the day there is no need to hyphenate what she is, a black woman is just another woman, plain and simple. FWIW I am 47. Just my .02

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  48.   shaggy138 says:
    Posted: 04 Oct 10

    We aren't hard to approach, its all just in your head. When I first started approaching black women I found it intimidating as well, but that's just you holding yourself back. Go say hi, introduce yourself, whatever; the guy isn't going to bite your head off unless he's a total ass, and if he is you just saved yourself a whole lot of time anyway.

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  49.   hugababy says:
    Posted: 04 Oct 10

    Hey guys!! I love your all your comments and discussions. How i still don't know why i can't seem to find the right 'white' guy for me. I mean i'[ve been attracted to white men since i was young and everytime i approach one, simply out of friendship, i feel like they are avoiding me. I hope it's not racism, and i think its not - its something else. Maybe its because im too shy and not out going and easily feel an inferiority complex when i get a whole bunch of white people or should i say lighter skin people. People tell me i am beautiful always but i still feel like that does not change how i feel on the inside. To any WM out there, i simply want to know why WM are hard to approach and if there is anything i can do about it. Thanks guys!

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    • serenity33 says:
      Posted: 05 Oct 10

      Hang in there Hugababy. It is hard to find secure white guys in your age range of 18-22. Don't settle for older and just be patient until you find a secure white guy that is your age who will go for you. I have yet to see a white guy on this blog near 22 since they are all older. It takes awhile for men to mature including white guys.

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    • serenity33 says:
      Posted: 07 Oct 10

      Hang in there Hugababy. It is hard to find secure white guys in your age range of 18-22. Don’t settle for older and just be patient until you find a secure white guy that is your age who will go for you. I have yet to see a white guy on this blog near 22 since they are all older. It takes awhile for men to mature including white guys. Until then, you will have to deal with dirty old white guys hitting on you.

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  50.   kissime says:
    Posted: 01 Oct 10

    Serenity33, God Bless you. I know you mean well...I understand you...I get you.

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    • serenity33 says:
      Posted: 16 Oct 10

      Thanks kissme. Did you know when I was doing a keyword search, there is not a single marriage counselor other than my self on this entire site? No wonder people hate the truths I tell when it makes them feel bad both men and women equally, probably the men even more!! There is not even counselors on this site except for a few school counselors which don't deal with inter-relationship counseling among couples. I always approach everything from a professional statistical standpoint of real studies done and published that are highly complicated and generally not made know to the public. And every thing I approach is from the perspective of marriage counseling. I guess that makes what I say more unpalatable and people fail to realize that I am going by probability and statistics and that there are always exceptions to everything I say but instead take what I say as absolutes and authoritarian. I have even agreed with popular posts that I thought were right or said the exact same thing first and people hate it when I say it and thing it profound when anyone else says it. In the end, i guess it is all in who does the saying more than what you are saying.;-)

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      • serenity33 says:
        Posted: 16 Oct 10

        People probably hate it that I am giving away trade secrets and motivations and games that both genders play and would rather have them stay hidden so they are more effective.;-) But all I am trying to do is help people make decisions that will make them happy and the truth is the first step I have found in all counseling that will help a person change to a way that will make them the happiest in any relationship whether it is positive or negative. We all have demons we have to fight in our lives and it is better to be honest about them than to play games and pretend they are not there because they always catch up with us in the end anyway.

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    • serenity33 says:
      Posted: 17 Oct 10

      Thanks kissme, I appreciate your support even if others aren't too thrilled with me.;-) Did you know when I was doing a keyword search, there is not a single marriage counselor other than my self on this entire site? No wonder people hate the truths I tell when it makes them feel bad both men and women equally, probably the men even more!! There is not even counselors on this site except for a few school counselors which don’t deal with inter-relationship counseling among couples. I always approach everything from a professional statistical standpoint of real studies done and published that are highly complicated and generally not made know to the public. And every thing I approach is from the perspective of marriage counseling. I guess that makes what I say more unpalatable and people fail to realize that I am going by probability and statistics and that there are always exceptions to everything I say but instead take what I say as absolutes and authoritarian. I have even agreed with popular posts that I thought were right or said the exact same thing first and people hate it when I say it and thing it profound when anyone else says it. In the end, i guess it is all in who does the saying more than what you are saying.;-)

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      • serenity33 says:
        Posted: 17 Oct 10

        Kissme. People probably hate it that I am giving away trade secrets and motivations and games that both genders play and would rather have them stay hidden so they are more effective.;-) But all I am trying to do is help people make decisions that will make them happy and the truth is the first step I have found in all counseling that will help a person change to a way that will make them the happiest in any relationship whether it is positive or negative. We all have demons we have to fight in our lives and it is better to be honest about them than to play games and pretend they are not there because they always catch up with us in the end anyway. But people don't want to hear that coming from a marriage counselor. People have a taboo against marriage counselors in the first place and they are not looked on fondly. Also people tend to put down anything where the language is too big for them to understand clearly which I am guilty of. I am glad I have your support though since you are a highly intelligent woman and can easily understand what I am saying.:-)

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