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Interracial Relationships

Latoya & Dan -
Nashville, Tennessee, United States

New Start in Nashville

“DJDan,” as he was known on our site, says he turned to online dating “mainly because it has become the norm now. Plus, I hate going to bars and nightclubs.”

Latoya, whom Dan would later meet on our site, joined because of our proven track record for singles. “The success stories on your site inspired me,” she tells us. “This was maybe my third or fourth time trying an online site.” Latoya put her odds of success at about “50/50,” even though she was pretty open-minded about her potential partner in life. “I don’t really have a type,” muses Latoya. “I was willing to give any guy of any race a chance, as long as the connection was there. Dan is more than my type. He’s everything I want!”

Dan wasn’t rigid in his thinking, either. “I don’t have a type,” he declares. “It either works with a woman, or it doesn’t, so I’m open to anyone as long as she respects me and I can feel a certain intangible connection. It goes without saying that Toya passed that test with flying colors.”

However, Dan didn’t immediately find love online. “I had tried other dating websites like Match and OKCupid, and I had a few promising relationships, but none of them ultimately panned out,” he explains. “This site didn’t work for me for a while, either, as I had only met one other person face to face before moving to a new city and trying the site again there.”

Despite this, Dan maintained his positive attitude. “I always remained optimistic, but the usual trials and tribulations of online dating over the years – for example, unanswered emails, first dates that were adequate but ultimately went nowhere – tested that optimism. I kept at it, though, and with Toya in my life now, I am so happy I didn’t let the opportunity pass me by!”

Four years after originally posting his profile on our site, Dan noticed Latoya among our members. Her profile was less than a month old at that point. “Dan reached out initially with a Flirt, as his paying membership had expired,” recalls Latoya. A short while later, she replied with a Flirt of her own and Dan decided to renew that membership!

So what was it about Dan’s profile that prompted Latoya to fire off a response? “His looks, obviously, but also we had a lot in common,” she informs us. Dan says, “I loved her eyes and her smile in her profile picture (I still do), but I also make sure to read a woman’s entire profile before expressing interest. It was in reading her profile that she seemed like a wonderful, positive, caring person, and I could tell the instant I met Toya that her description was no exaggeration.”

They tell us that Dan sent Latoya an instant message, then exchanged messages for about a week, and eventually met in person at a local craft burger joint. The decision to date stemmed from their evident chemistry. “I liked how our conversations were going, and I felt good vibes from him,” Latoya notes. “He was really down to earth and easy to talk to, so I said why not?”

For Dan, everything had gone according to plan. “Our online conversations had been going on for a week, and were pretty consistent,” he reports. “The goal for me is always to meet the person with whom I have a natural rapport face-to-face eventually, so after a week certainly felt right.”

Dan went into their first date with a degree of confidence. “I arrived about 15 minutes before we agreed to meet there,” he remembers. “Unlike most first dates, I wasn’t nervous as I was waiting. Then I saw her silhouette and the nerves kicked right in! Fortunately, my nerves eased once we got seated and got to talking.”

“We had a lovely conversation and dinner,” says Latoya. She laughs, “I thought, ‘he’s taller than in his pictures!’ I also thought he was even more handsome in person.” Dan too was pleased with the person behind the profile. “I thought she looked just like she did in her pictures, which was a relief because I knew I wasn’t being catfished. That was one less thing about which I had to worry! I also thought she had a beautiful smile for which her pictures did no justice. I still think so.”

Latoya says that “the date exceeded my expectations in the best way possible.” Dan points out that “This was my first date with any woman since moving to Nashville. I thought I was going to play the field a little, and go out on more dates, before I met someone with whom I truly connected. But Toya and I hit it off so well that not only did I NOT go out on any other dates, but I didn’t really WANT to see any other woman after her!”

So was Latoya sure they’d go out a second time? “Oh, very sure!” she responds immediately. “I felt better vibes in person with Dan than even talking on the website. It was an amazing first date and I’m really happy we finally met.”

Dan didn’t require any convincing, either. “I was all for meeting again, 100%. Of course, if Toya didn’t feel the same way, I would have moved on as usual. Fortunately, the feeling was indeed mutual!”

Turns out their dating profiles weren’t indicative of how great their connection could get. “When I read his profile, I appreciated all we had in common,” begins Latoya. “However, I didn’t get to experience it fully until we met in person. So, I really appreciated that.”

“I liked how much we had in common, and I even liked the things about her that we did not have in common,” chuckles Dan. “Besides one obvious characteristic that’s different about us (which is the basis of this dating website), she’s left handed, I’m right handed, she has three sisters, I have one brother, and so on. I really like how we had those drastic differences, yet we still found the things we had in common and, perhaps most importantly, still enjoy each other’s company.”

Generally there are at least some obstacles for a couple to overcome, if only distance, but it was smooth sailing for these two. “None that I can think of,” says Latoya when asked about challenges. “It actually happened very smoothly.” Dan chimes in, “I can’t think of any obstacles, either. It just worked between us, and it’s still working!”

Soon thereafter came a big moment for Dan in the progression of their relationship. “For our third date, we were going to an events center, but we found out that the parking was over $30, which we both agreed was vastly overpriced. So we ended up going to a restaurant nearby (where the parking didn’t cost a thing), and we still ended up having a great time. We also did not plan out anything that happened the rest of the day, but we still had a great time together. That’s when I knew it was special, because I have dated women before who lose it when plans go awry. Toya goes with the flow, in a good way, and that spontaneous day was undisputed proof that she’s truly genuine and free-spirited, which I love.”

For Latoya the critical moment came on another occasion. “I was at my apartment after a really rough day,” she recalls. “My job was giving me a hard time, and Dan was there to comfort me. It was then that I realized he was special, and what we have is very rare. I felt appreciated and cared about. And really, that’s all I could ever ask for.”

No doubt about it, this relationship looks built to last. “Happiness comes within, but with him it has made life so much better,” Latoya observes. “My life is much brighter with him in it, and I look forward to every day knowing that it’s one more chance I get to spend time with him.”

Dan looks at the big picture and sees a happy transformation taking place. “I moved away from a city I had been living in for 11 years,” he reveals. “The move was tough, and while I moved for work and got a good job, I was farther away from my family than I had ever been on a more permanent basis. After Toya and I became more serious, I returned home for Thanksgiving and my parents told me that I looked happier than in a long time. They were right, because that’s exactly how I feel!”

Latoya wants to bring inspiration to others who haven’t reached her happy destination yet. “I was in your place once,” she urges singles who may be reading this. “I didn’t think I’d find someone, or be as incredibly happy as I am. My advice: keep going, don’t give up, and don’t settle. You deserve someone who will make you happy, and that someone is out there for you.”

Dan wants to remind everyone how long it took him to find love. “I tried online dating for years before I met Toya,” he says. “There were a lot of misses – dates that didn’t work out, although not many that were flagrant disasters – but I didn’t give up, and neither should you. I knew I would eventually find my match; I just didn’t know when, and for that matter, neither do you. Giving up is setting yourself up for inevitable failure, so just keep at it and you will find someone who is special and loves you for your similarities as well as your differences.”

Sounds like Dan and Latoya got the mix just right. Cheers!